Cross of Ivy

by Roxi Bahar Hewertson

  Mary sat down. She looked every bit of the frazzled mother she was.

  “Abby, that was Wills. He’s called at least once a week for a month now.

  I didn’t tell you before because you said you didn’t want to know.” She watched Abby’s face flash through anger, joy, sadness, and shame.

  “What should I do?”

  “What do you want to do?” Mary was searching her daughter’s face for clues and found what she was looking for. “You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”

  “I’m so confused. Is it possible to love them both?” She didn’t really want an answer. “Mama, may I borrow the car? I can’t tell him on the phone, and I can’t not tell him. He’s the one who stopped it all, he’s the one who had a girl first, but I still have to tell him.” Abby was talking more to herself than to her mother.

  “He’s a good boy, and why such a big hurry to marry Zach? You don’t have to, and if you’re confused....And what about school?” Mary asked.

  “It’s too late for me and Wills, too late, that’s all. Zach needs me; I’m sure about that. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. There’s no turning back now. And, Mama, I already told you I gave up happiness for school once. I won’t do it again, not for anybody.

  “I see you’ve made up your mind. Can’t stop you, I suppose. I just want you to be happy; that’s all. You deserve to be happy,” Mary said as her eyes began to tear.

  “Oh, Mama, I’ll be fine and give you grandchildren, and it’ll be all right; you’ll see.” Abby leaned over and pecked her mother’s cheek.

  “Then drive careful, you hear me?” Mary hugged her daughter and pointed to her keys laying on the bookshelf. As Abby ran out the door, Mary collapsed in her favorite chair. She closed her eyes tight, and in a hushed voice, she said in a whisper, “It’s your turn, Frank. I did my best. It’s up to you now.”

  Abby pulled onto Jasper Donaldson’s road at half past eight. The lights were still on. The dogs didn’t know the car and growled menacing warnings at her until they heard her voice.

  “It’s only me, boys, only me.” Their tails started to wag, and the tone of their barks changed to friendly yips.

  Wills heard the dogs and lifted himself off the chair, putting down his tall glass of bourbon. He looked out the window to see who it was and rushed out the door.

  “Abby, I can’t believe it’s you! Your mother just told me you might be getting married.” He ran up to her, lifted her off the ground and hugged her hard. “You’ve come back to me!” he said in her ear. It was if she’d never been gone.

  Abby hugged him back and then pushed him away.

  “It’s true, Wills. I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I thought you didn’t want me, and now it’s too late.” Abby started to cry.

  “I’ve been calling and calling. You wouldn’t call me back. I wanted to tell you I was sorry and I’d wait. I was stupid and selfish, I know that now, but I never stopped loving you, not for a second. It’s never too late, Abby. Don’t say that. How can you marry somebody else if you still have feelings for me?”

  “I found someone else, just like you did. I saw you, remember? I thought it was over, and I just found someone else, that’s all,” Abby said.

  Wills reeled backwards as if he had been kicked by a cow. He backed away from her and sat down on the edge of the porch. He shook his head and screamed at the dirt. “No! No, there was never anyone else, I swear it!”

  Thoughts were racing through his head. He caught his breath and said, “She was just a neighbor I took to the game. I hoped you’d see me and get jealous, that’s all. It was nothin’.”

  “Well, it worked, and now it’s too late. Oh, Wills, I didn’t plan it like this, but it happened. I love you both, different. Don’t you see, you were gone. I didn’t want any of this.” She could hardly talk. “But I had to see you one more time. I had to say goodbye.”

  There was no hardened face now; instead, Wills wore an expression of overwhelming anguish.

  “You don’t have to do it, Abby. I’ll marry you just like we planned, and we’ll pretend nothing happened, like it should have been.”

  “Oh, God, Wills. Don’t say things like that. It wouldn’t be right. It just wouldn’t work. I wish I could turn back the clock, but it won’t work.”

  He couldn’t believe any of this. “You’d leave me, when you say you still love me? Why?” Wills looked at her hard. “He did something to you, didn’t he?”

  Abby’s eyes immediately looked away.

  “Goddamit, Abby, is that why? He did something to you? Tell me. Jesus, Abby, tell me!”

  “I’m not the same, that’s all, and you’d never be able to forgive me. I’m telling you it’s too late.” She still wouldn’t look at him.

  “Who is it? I have a right to know.” Wills’ rage was rising in him; he wanted a pound of flesh for his pain.

  “You might as well know, you’ll hear about it soon enough anyway. I’m going to marry Zach Trudeau.”

  Wills’ eyes thickened with recognition. “I’ll kill him! He could have anybody. He doesn’t need to have you.”

  He was getting nauseous at the mere thought of Abby with Zach. The son-of-a-bitch had touched her, and more, he was sure of that now. Wills’ imagination went wild. He could see Zach’s grinning face, see him running his hands over Abby’s body, a body that was supposed to be saved for him.

  He choked out the words. “Abby, I can’t stand this. It’s too much.”

  “I’d better go. Mama will be worried.” Abby turned to go. Wills watched her, feeling more helpless than he ever had in his life.

  “Ab.” She turned her head to his voice. He was coming toward her.

  “Ab, I’ll always love you. Believe it. If that bastard ever hurts you or if you need me, just call. I can’t believe this, but if you ever change your mind, I’ll be here, always.”

  “I’ll always love you, too, Wills. I can’t help that. Emmy will know where I am, and somehow we’ll keep in touch. But don’t wait for me. I can’t come back here anymore. I have to go.” She kissed him again, climbed in the car and headed home. She turned on the car radio and twisted the volume up full blast, hoping the music would drown her pain.

  Wills slumped over with his hands in his pockets, looking defeated and beaten as Abby disappeared into the darkness.

  Jasper came out of the barn and walked toward his partner. He had overheard most of it. He put his arm around his friend, guiding him back to the house. The old farmer opened the door, shook his head, and spat on the ground.

  “Damn!” he said.

  CHAPTER 23

  Abby was overwhelmed by the size of the Trudeau mansion with its barns and gardens. She felt so small.

  They were coming for dinner so she could meet Zach’s family and so that he could settle his financial affairs with his father.

  Zach warned Abby that his mother was livid about their plans and had complained of a non-stop migraine since the day he told her of their decision. But none of his warnings could have prepared Abby for Betty Trudeau.

  Betty watched them drive up from the second floor hall window. She looked like she had just eaten a lemon. Her lips curved into a tight frown, and her forehead ridges were tight and deep. The very thought of her youngest son, her pride and joy, marrying some little Irish tramp was more than she could stand. Why - this girl would never be welcome in the Junior League and, as was her motherly right, she’d already picked Zach’s wife, had conversations with the girl’s mother, already insisted that Maury speak to the father. It was the well-bred Iris Ann Masters he must marry, not some little nobody from nowhere. Betty let go of the curtain and made up her mind to do everything in her power to stop this travesty. She watched them drive up like a hawk eyeing its prey. Why, the girl was wearing white shoes, and it wasn’t even spring. Proof enough, Betty thought, as if she’d needed anything more.

  After appearing civil at first, Betty cornered Abby in the drawing room. Zach was outside talki
ng to Luke.

  “Well, you’ve done well, haven’t you dear?” Betty squinted at Abby sideways when she spoke.

  “Excuse me?” Abby asked.

  “You don’t have to play those games with me. Miss O’Malley, is it?”

  “Yes ma’am, Abigail O’Malley,” Abby looked around the room, looking frantically for Zach.

  “Who are your people, young lady? I hear you were raised by your mother and came from up north, is that right?”

  “Yes, ma’am, and my grandparents. My father died in World War II, and we moved when I was small.”

  “I see. And what does your granddaddy do?”

  “Do? Well, he worked on ships for a long time, but he’s gotten too old now, and mostly he just does odd jobs for folk he knows.” Abby looked for Zach again, but he had run off somewhere and left her at the mercy of this hateful woman.

  Betty’s face tightened. “So, you think my Zach is the answer to all your troubles, do you? Well, don’t be so sure, missy, don’t be so sure.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Mrs. Trudeau. I love Zach, and I want to make him happy.”

  “Happy? You? Ha! Don’t bet your granddaddy’s hammer on it.” Betty was actually sneering, her thin lips disappeared under her teeth and her narrow eyes burned into Abby.

  “Zach knows his station in life. It won’t take him long to see what you’re up to. You see, my dear, we have made more suitable plans for Zachary’s marriage partner. ”

  Abby’s mouth dropped open. She tried to spit back, but all she could say was, “Excuse me, Mrs. Trudeau,” and she ran upstairs to the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the claw foot tub and cried without making a sound until she realized she should be angry. Abby held her head high as she descended the stairs and found Zach at the front door.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “Where were you?” Abby hissed at him.

  “Talking to Luke. Did you have a nice girl chat with mother?”

  “Girl chat? Your mother says you’re too good for me. She says she’s made ‘more suitable plans for you’,” Abby mimicked his mother’s sneer. “Is that what you want, Zach, a more suitable bride?” Abby was white with fury.

  “My mother is a pain in the ass. Don’t pay any attention to her. She knows she can’t tell me what to do, and it’s driving her crazy. She’ll say anything to drive you off.” He patted her behind.

  “Well, keep her away from me then.”

  “I’ll do my best, but she’s very good at being what she is. And like it or not, she is my mother.”

  “I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit,” Abby said.

  Dinner was deadly. Maury sat at one end of the enormous table, Betty at the other. Abby and Zach were placed on either side. Luke sat next to Zach. Reese’s wife, Nancy, sat between her husband and Abby. Their children were in the kitchen with Sophie, undoubtedly having much more fun.

  The only relief came when five-year-old Ashley ran into the room with her brothers right behind. She had stolen their cookies, and they were hell bent on getting them back. Reese and Nancy were polite, but cool.

  Of the siblings, only Luke warmed to Abby. She liked him immediately. He was the one who greeted them at the door, bowing as he did and welcoming her to Pride Plantation, “home of the most prideful people I know.”

  Nearing the end of the meal, Zach’s father actually spoke to her. “Miss Abigail, did I understand that you are studying to be a nurse?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “A fine profession, medicine. Our son Nathan is a doctor.”

  “Well, apparently, marrying our son is more important to her than schoolin’, now isn’t it Missss O’Maaalleeeey?” Betty Trudeau stretched out Abby’s name as though she were describing a distasteful parasite.

  “Betty, that will be enough!” Maury snapped at her, coming to Abby’s defense. Zach glowered at him just the same.

  “I just meant that it’s a pity she’s givin’ up her schoolin’ just now.” Betty faked a stiff smile, cocked her head, and took another sip of her martini.

  Abby looked at Zach, pleading with her eyes while picking at the remains on her plate

  He ignored Abby’s look and turned to his brother. “Well, Luke, tell us about the new horse.”

  “Excuse me,” Abby said as she left the table and made her way back to the bathroom. She swore to herself she’d stay there until Zach was ready to leave. She waited and waited. After half an hour, when he hadn’t come for her, Abby wandered downstairs. No one was in that part of the house that she could see. But then she noticed the library door was open a crack and she could hear Zach and his father arguing.

  “I want the money in my account and my trust fund turned over to me. That’s the least you can do for what I’ve had to stomach all these years,” Zach said.

  “You! I’ve had to live with what you did to Desi and make it right.”

  “You bastard. You did that, not me. I didn’t and couldn’t have known who she was, and you know it. You let that happen, and I don’t give a shit anymore. I’m gettin’ married to that girl out there, and I want my share so we can get as far from here as possible.”

  “You’ll get what’s comin’ to you, all right. We all make mistakes, Zachary. Mine was to stay in this hateful marriage for all these years. But no matter what you think, I stayed for you and your brothers.”

  “Bullshit. You wanted your cake and to eat it, too. What do you want from me? Gratitude? Pity? You made your bed with your whore, and I want what’s comin’ to me and I want it now!”

  There was a long silence. Finally, Maury said, “I don’t want nothin’ from you, boy. It’s too late for that. With both you and Desi married, I....”

  “Married? To who? When? Tell me, goddam it!”

  “I’ll tell you nothin’, only that he’s a fine gentleman and he’ll take good care of her; I’ve seen to that. She’ll be happy and safe; and the child is being cared for, I’ve seen to that, too. He’ll never be right because…...”

  $“Enough! I don’t want to hear anymore about her or how you take care of things. You ruined my life. I want my money. When will it be in the bank?”

  “Monday.”

  “Good.”

  Zach fled the library. He did not notice Abby on the stairs as he slammed the front door behind him. She raced to call after him, but he kept on running. The next thing she heard was the stomping of horse hooves as he disappeared into the cane fields.

  Abby was now completely alone with Zach’s horrible family and their nasty secrets. She had heard too much. What did it mean? Who was Desi? What child? Abby wanted to fade into the woodwork. How were her and Zach’s lives ruined? She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to know. She had her secrets, too. This was his past. She was his future. That’s all that mattered now.

  Luke came from behind, leaned around to her face and said, “Penny for your thoughts, Miss Abby. Wanna go for a walk? I’ll show you mother’s famous gardens.”

  She nearly jumped out of her skin. “Oh. It’s you. All right, thanks, Luke.” The color gradually came back to her cheeks as they wandered through the beautifully manicured pathways, stopping now and then to admire a rainbow array of flowers or one of Betty’s trellises. Abby wondered how such a hateful woman could create such exquisite gardens.

  “Do you stay here all the time?” Abby asked him.

  “Yeah. I love the farming and the animals. I feel good when my hands are dirty, if you know what I mean.”

  “It takes a lot of patience and hard work to take care of a farm.”

  “Yep. Takes a lot of patience to live with Zach, too. Have you thought about that?”

  “It’s all too new. All I know is that I love him and we’re going to get married, unless your mother has her way.”

  “Mother is somethin’, isn’t she? Nobody’s good enough for her boys, but she lets up after a while. I will say, though, Zach has brought home a lot of girls over the years, but none as pretty as you. I wish I’d met you
first; not too many pretty girls out here in the sticks.” Luke smiled at her warmly.

  “Thanks, Luke. I was beginning to think the whole family hated me.”

  “Oh, them, they hate everybody who isn’t just like them, ‘specially mother. She’s got a stick so high up her...well, I mean, don’t take her seriously, she can’t do nothin’ that matters except tend the garden and stir martinis, and she knows it.”

  “Luke, do you know why your father and Zach are so angry with each other?”

  “Nope, I can’t figure it. They were real close up until Zach went to LSU, well, actually, a few weeks before, I think. Zach came home all hot and bothered about something Daddy did, I don’t know what, and it’s been a standoff ever since. I asked Zach once, and I asked Daddy once. I got the same answer from both of them, ‘Just leave it alone, Luke.’ So I did. It’s really changed things around here. We hardly ever have the whole family home anymore. Daddy can’t stand Charles because he thinks he’s a homo and he probably is, but I like him. He paints terrific pictures. And Louis just stopped coming home; got himself stationed in Germany. Nathan’s too busy playing doctor, and Reese only comes home to save his place in Daddy’s executive washroom!”

  “I can’t imagine not being home for at least the holidays. We have so much fun, and we’ve just always done it,” Abby said.

  “Well, don’t you worry about it. You’ll have your own life soon and your own family. Just promise me, you’ll come and light up our door once in a while.”

  “If Zach comes, I expect I will as well.”

  Zach rode over to the hedgerow and called out to Abby. “Better get your things. We’re leavin’. No need to talk wedding plans today; I don’t want anybody but Luke here to come anyway. Will you be best man, Luke?”

  “I’d be honored.”

  “Good. It’s settled then. I’ll put TD up in the barn, and we’ll go.” Abby stared at him as the dust rose from the ground. She wondered what kind of a man she was marrying, then shook off her thoughts as if they were as meaningless as the dust on Luke’s shoes. She met Zach at the car, and without another word to any of his family, they left.