The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3)

by Catharina Maura

  Just when the smallest amount of hope bloomed in my heart, Helen and Kate walked in. I saw the hope in Carter's eyes, and I didn't have the heart to walk away when I knew he wanted me to stay. It was only breakfast, but I hated every second I spent with them.

  Dad tightens his grip on my hand and I turn to look at him. “What’s wrong, Princess?” He asks.

  I smile and shake my head. “Nothing, daddy,” I tell him. I take a good look at dad and sigh. Every day he seems to get thinner, even though he’s getting the best care he could possibly have. I’m worried. I know he’s staying strong for me, but every day his dialysis sucks a little bit more life out of him. My dad has always been strong and in control of everything. He’s always been powerful, especially in his career. I worry that it’s affecting him too much mentally to be at the mercy of his illness.

  Dad wraps his arm over mine and shakes his head. “You’re being quiet,” he says. I feel my cheeks heat a little and look away. All I’ve been able to think about lately is Carter. It’s been a few days since we slept together, and I keep telling myself that we can’t do it again, but it’s so hard to stay away. The only way I can resist him is if I physically stay away. Carter hasn’t said anything, and he’s been giving me space, but there’s no escaping what’s between us.

  “It’s nothing, daddy.”

  Dad tightens his grip on my hand and frowns. “Is it Sam? Are you still upset?”

  I look at him with wide eyes and shake my head. I probably should still be upset about breaking up with Sam, but I haven’t even thought of him recently. “I… No… That’s not it. I’m just worried. I’m worried about you, and I’m wondering about the future. My boss said I could take as much time as I need, but eventually she’ll need me back. And if I stay away too long, I’m worried that might impact my career.”

  Heartbreak flashes through my dad’s eyes at the mention of me returning to London, and I regret bringing it up at all. He gets upset at the thought of me leaving, and the last thing he needs while he’s fighting his illness is additional stress.

  “I see,” he says. “And you won’t consider moving back home? It’s been so good having you back here, I’ve gotten so used to you being back home, I wish you could stay.”

  I drop my head to my dad’s shoulder and sigh. “I’m not sure I can, Dad. I worked so hard to build everything I have, and I can’t give it all up now. Besides, where would I even work if I moved back here? The only large company around here is Carter’s.”

  Dad smiles, his eyes twinkling. “What’s wrong with that? You’re already working there, and the boy can do with more people that he can trust. There is plenty of opportunity for growth at Clarke Reed. I read an article the other day that said Carter’s company is amongst the most desirable companies to work for in the world.”

  I look away, my heart twisting painfully. The truth is that Carter gives me so much responsibility in his company that I’ve learned more here than I ever did at my old job. I love working with him, and the work is just more interesting. Even more so, I just love knowing that the work I do directly benefits someone I care about, that it makes a difference. At Clarke Reed I’m not just another employee, I’m someone Carter relies on for all legal advice. It’s a new feeling to me – being more than just another worker bee. I adore Alice, but she and I are just that: worker bees. There’s a lot of reeducation I’d have to do to formally become a lawyer here, but it’d be worth it. I’d be happier here.

  I guess most of the reason that I want to go back is because I know that Carter and I can’t be together. The longer I stay, the more it will hurt when I finally leave. And if I do stay to be close to my dad, it’ll only be a matter of time before I’ll have to see him fall for someone else. I don’t think my heart can take that, but I don’t think I can leave my dad either.

  I’m still thinking about dad’s request hours later. I slip through the sliding doors and walk to the swing on the veranda, the breeze messing up my hair. I sit down and sigh. It isn’t until right at this moment that I realize I was hoping that Carter might be here. I tell myself that I want to stay away from him, yet I find myself seeking him out constantly. It’s like my head and my heart are at war.

  My heart flutters when the door opens and I glance up to find Carter walking in, still in his work suit. Why does he have to look so good in a suit? My eyes roam over his body, and my heart starts to race. Why is it only him that my body responds to in this way?

  Carter pulls on his tie and takes a seat next to me, his thigh brushing against mine. He closes his eyes and leans back, looking tired.

  “Long day?”

  Carter nods and sighs. I want to take him into my arms, I want to run my hands over his body and cup his cheek so I can turn his face towards mine and kiss him.

  “Are you done trying to resist me?” He asks. Carter opens his eyes and looks at me, his gaze intense. He reaches for me and buries his hand in my hair. “Because I’m done.”

  I look at him with wide eyes and he smiles. “If my time with you is limited, then I’m not holding back. I’ve spent years dreaming about you and missing you. I don’t want to look back at these months that we’ve got together with regret. I’m done with all the regret, Emilia. For just a couple of weeks I want to have it all. Tell me you want the same.”

  I hesitate and Carter’s expression falters. “If we’re not on the same page, then let me know now. I’ll stop. I won’t pursue you in the slightest, I won’t make you feel uncomfortable. But if you do, Emilia… Then I’m going to kiss you right now. I’m going to kiss you, and I’m going to slip that robe off your shoulders. I’m going to get you naked, right here on my veranda, and I’m going to fuck you. So, tell me, Minx. Should I stay or should I go?”

  My heart is banging in my chest and even though I’m scared of what our future might hold, I’m certain of what I want right now. “Stay. I want it all too. I want it all with you.”

  Chapter 47

  Carter

  I exhale in relief and pull her towards me impatiently. Emilia smiles against my lips and I tighten my grip on her hair. I trap her bottom lip between my teeth before kissing her fully, and Emilia moans. She wraps her hand in my hair, and I lift her up. Emilia straddles me and I run my hands over her body, tugging on her robe roughly. It slips down her shoulders and I smile smugly when I realize that she’s wearing another one of my t-shirts.

  “You little thief,” I whisper, and she blushes. I drop my lips to her neck and kiss her gently. Emilia groans and tugs on my clothes. I love seeing her so eager, so desperate for me. She opens the buttons of my shirt and leans in, kissing my neck the way I just kissed hers.

  “Carter,” she whispers. She looks up at me with lust-filled eyes, and I groan. Emilia tugs on my trousers and I bite down on my lip when she wraps her hands around my cock.

  “So impatient,” I whisper, and her cheeks redden. She looks up at me and grins before moving away. I groan in dissatisfaction, and Emilia blows me a kiss.

  “Who’s impatient now?” she asks as she drops to her knees in front of me. My dick jerks when she licks her lips, and I’m already close. Emilia looks at me as she slowly brings her lips closer, teasing the hell out of me. I thread my hand through her hair and grit my teeth.

  “Baby, I need you right now,” I tell her.

  Emilia laughs and swirls her tongue around the tip, and a powerful wave of desire crashes through me. I jerk against her and she takes me in deeper, her mouth hot and tight. She looks up at me as she bobs her head up and down, driving me half insane. She moans, and the feeling of it has me tightening my grip on her hair.

  “Minx,” I whisper. She increases the pace and takes me in even deeper. Fucking hell, I can feel my dick hit the back of her throat, and then she swallows. The sensation is unreal and I moan loudly. I grab her hair and thrust my hips ups roughly, and she takes me in gladly, another moan vibrating through her throat.

  “I can’t,” I tell her. “I want to fuck you right now, Emilia,
” I whimper.

  She lifts her head and grins. “Say please,” she tells me, and I laugh.

  “Please, my love. Let me have that tight sweet pussy of yours.”

  Her eyes darken and she rises to her feet. I slip my hands underneath the tee she’s wearing and yank her panties down, not at all surprised to find them soaking wet.

  She climbs on top of me and I groan when she grabs my dick and sinks down on it without warning. “Fuck,” I moan.

  Emilia smiles in delight and I pull her towards me, my lips finding hers as she starts to move on top of me. I kiss her deeply, losing myself in her. Being with her is still as intense and raw as it’s always been.

  I move my hands to her ass and grab her tightly, eliciting a moan from her. “I need more,” I tell her. “I need all of you.”

  She wraps her legs around me as I rise to my feet, and I turn to press her against the wall. Emilia moans loudly as I lift her legs over my shoulders and I grin. She’s so fucking perfect, it’s unreal.

  I fuck her hard and look into her eyes as I thrust into her. “Your pussy feels so damn good, Minx,” I tell her, and she bites down on her lip. “So hot, so tight. It’s like you were made for me.”

  She pulls on my hair and I slam into her even harder. “You like this, don’t you?” I whisper. “You like having your tight pussy all stretched out by me.”

  She nods, her eyes glazing over. “I do,” she moans. “I do.”

  I grin and lift her a little higher, making sure I’m angling her the way I know she can barely take. I look into her eyes as I thrust into her, rubbing up against her g-spot teasingly.

  “You want to come for me, don’t you?”

  Emilia nods and I chuckle. “But you can’t, baby. I won’t let you. I’m not done with you.”

  Her nails rake over my scalp and desperation flashes through her eyes. I love this. I love how much she wants me, and how blatantly it shows. “I’m going to fuck you all night, Emilia. All that time you stayed away, all those years I’ve fantasized about you… we need to make up for lost time.”

  I tighten my grip on her ass and thrust into her roughly, slamming into her all the way. Emilia moans and yanks my head closer, her lips coming down on my neck. She grazes my skin with her teeth and then sucks down where she knows I’m sensitive.

  “Carter,” she whispers, her voice husky. “I can’t take it. Please, babe. Please, make me come.”

  I drop my forehead to hers, both of us breathing hard. My lips drop to hers, and I kiss her roughly, deeply.

  “Please,” she whispers, and I suck down on her lower lip before pulling away.

  “Look at me,” I tell her, and she does. I slow down the pace, driving her insane, keeping her right on the edge. “Tell me you won’t run again. Tell me you’re mine for as long as you’re here.”

  Emilia nods and pulls me back to her. She kisses me before looking into my eyes. “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”

  I shake my head and tighten my grip on her ass. “Exclusively, Emilia. I don’t want you looking at another man, don’t want you thinking about anyone else, you hear me?”

  She smiles, and I thrust into her harshly, replacing her humor with lust. “Yes. Yes,” she groans. “I swear, Carter. Only you.”

  I smile in satisfaction and give her what she wants. Her inner muscles tighten around my cock, and she fucking milks me. I can’t hold on and come deep inside my girl, both of us trembling. I drop my forehead to hers, feeling lightheaded as fuck. “Damn, Minx… I think I’m seeing stars.”

  She laughs and pulls my head towards hers. “Screw the stars,” she says. “You’d better only be seeing me.”

  I burst out laughing and walk us back to the swing, sitting down with her in my arms, the two of us still intimately connected. “Yes, ma’am,” I tell her. “You’re all I can see. You always will be.”

  Emilia smiles in satisfaction, and my heart skips a beat. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, and I can’t help but worry. I worry it won’t last, and that I’ll lose her all over again.

  Chapter 48

  Emilia

  I smile at my phone, feeling strangely giddy, and Dad frowns at me. “What has you smiling like that?” he asks, startling me. My cheeks heat up and I lock my phone screen instantly. Carter has been texting me all morning, and it’s got me feeling like a teenager all over again.

  “Oh, it’s nothing,” I tell him. “I saw a funny meme online just now.”

  Dad looks at me as though he doesn’t believe me, and then he shakes his head. “Meme. Such a stupid name,” he mutters, and I burst out laughing.

  “I have no idea why it’s called that either, to be honest,” I murmur, getting back to the research I was doing. Carter lets me work from home most days so I can spend my time with Dad, but today I kind of wish I’d gone into the office. I miss him. Last night was perfect, and I want more of those nights. I want more of this happiness that I thought I’d never experience again. I want to make the most of the time we’ve got together. My phone buzzes and I smile before I even unlock my phone.

  Devil: You and me. dinner. tonight. I need some quality time with you.

  I love that he still has the same phone number, even after all these years. His is the only phone number I know by heart. His, and my own.

  Emilia: What about Dad? We always have dinner with him.

  Devil: Enzo will look after him. Don’t you worry. That’s what we have so much staff for, after all.

  Emilia: I know that… I meant, what will we tell him?

  Devil: Tell him I’m taking you out for dinner. How about 7?

  I roll my eyes and sigh.

  Emilia: I’ll tell him we have a meeting or something.

  Carter doesn’t reply for a minute, and I’m suddenly worried that he doesn’t like me not being honest about us to dad, but how could we? We both know this is temporary.

  Devil: See you tonight, baby. Shall I pick you up at home or do you want to drive down to the tapas place?

  I smile to myself, my heart fluttering. When is the last time I was this excited to go on a date? I can’t even remember.

  Emilia: I’ll drive down. See you later x

  I look up to find Dad looking at me, a smile on his face. “Another meme?” he asks, and I nod awkwardly.

  I glance at the clock and bite down on my lip. Dinner is in two hours or so, and I still need to get ready. Dad and I have gotten into a routine of sorts. He’ll sit with me as I work during the day, taking breaks to do his personal training and whatever other errands he decides to do that day. We make sure to have lunch together, and then I sit with him and work on my laptop as he undergoes his dialysis. After that we wait for Carter to come home so we can have dinner together. We rarely deviate from our schedule, so I wonder what he’ll think of having dinner by himself for once.

  “Um, I just got an email about a meeting I have to attend later,” I say awkwardly, avoiding his inquisitive gaze.

  Dad is quiet for a while, and then he smiles. “I see. Well, you can’t go in that, can you?” he says, pointing at the pajamas I’m wearing. Since I work from home, I spend most of my days wearing one of Carter’s t-shirts with a pair of leggings. I glance down at my outfit and blush. “Um, yes, I’d better get ready,” I murmur, my heart racing. I’m certain Dad can see straight through me, but I’m glad he isn’t calling me on it.

  I’m nervous as I get ready, wanting to impress Carter, but not wanting to overdo it either. I end up deciding on a tight black dress that looks great without making me look overdressed. I pair it with heels I know Carter will love and put on some red lipstick. I twirl around in front of the mirror, my heart racing. I wonder what he’ll think when he sees me.

  I walk down the stairs, and Dad smiles at me when he sees me. “You look beautiful, Princess,” he tells me.

  I blush and kiss his cheek. “Love you, Dad,” I murmur, and he smiles, looking just a touch emotional. He waves me off and I glance back at him as I walk o
ut the door.

  I’m ridiculously nervous as I drive to the tapas place. It’s been years since Carter and I went on a date, and I have no idea what it might be like.

  He’s leaning against his car when I arrive, his face tipped up at the sky, and I pause by my car as I take him in. This man owns my entire heart. Just looking at him makes me feel so intensely happy. Words can’t even explain how he makes me feel, how he’s always made me feel.

  Carter turns to look at me, as though he could feel my gaze on his skin, and his eyes widen. I grin as he checks me out, and my hips sway just a little more as I walk up to him. He meets me halfway and buries his hand in my hair, pulling me close impatiently. His lips come crashing down on mine hungrily, and I lose myself in him. I don’t pull away until I hear someone whistle near us, and Carter drops his forehead to mine.

  “You look far too beautiful tonight, Emilia,” he whispers. “I’m so tempted to skip dinner and go straight for dessert,” he says as his lips trail down my neck. I giggle and take a step away, my hand entwining with his.

  “Later,” I promise him. There’s no way I’ll be able to stay away either, not when he looks this hot. My eyes roam over the suit he’s wearing, and Carter grins smugly when he catches me ogling him.

  He tightens his grip on my hand and raises our joined hands to his lips. He kisses the back of my hand gently before leading me to the tapas place that’s been here for pretty much ever.

  Mrs. Henderson, the owner, lights up when she sees us walk in together. She raises her hand to her heart and smiles widely. “My goodness, Emilia Parker and Carter Clarke,” she murmurs. She opens her arms, and I hug her tightly. I spent some summers working here for her, and Carter would always come in to annoy me. Even then, Mrs. Henderson was convinced that he liked me, and she’d tease me about it endlessly. She hugs me back and pulls away to look at me, her eyes moving between Carter and me. “You’re finally back, sweetheart,” she says, and I nod. It’s little things like these that make me feel so at home here, in a way I never did in London. It isn’t just the memories either. Mrs. Henderson looks up at Carter, and she smiles so motherly, so adoringly, that my heart fills with tenderness. She’s giddy as she leads us to a table. Rather than asking us for our order, she insists on surprising us, and Carter winks at me as she walks away.