Extant

by Mary M Wallace

  Bree looked at him with a single raised brow but said nothing. He tried not to squirm under her direct gaze. He looked away first. To the team, he said, “I convinced Rowan to try to teach me to use his ability.”

  They all nodded. They’d known Declan wanted to learn about Rowan’s ability, so this wasn’t a complete shock to them.

  Bree spoke now, her voice acidic. “They tried it last night and Declan short-circuited his brain.” She pointed at him with her fork. Everyone else began to speak at once.

  “You’re still recovering.” Corbin’s voice was disapproving.

  “That could have gone really bad.” This came from Jon.

  “Declan.” Rylee spoke in that scolding tone that somehow made him feel like a child.

  “What the hell, Ro?” This was Sawyer’s shocked voice. “You know how dangerous that could have been?”

  Rowan sighed. “I know. Look, we didn’t go about things the right way.”

  Sawyer snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

  Declan held up a hand. “It was my idea and I didn’t give him a choice. I threatened to do it with or without his help. So, he helped me. It was my fault.”

  Rowan waved his hand, dismissing Declan’s words. “That’s not really the point,” he said. “We had an idea. Well, Stella had the idea, really.”

  Sawyer’s ears perked up at hearing Rowan say Stella’s name so casually. “Stella?”

  Rowan nodded, not meeting Sawyer’s gaze. “Yeah, she thought maybe Rylee could help.”

  At Rylee’s confused look, he clarified. “The big issue with my ability is keeping focused, being able to calm your mind enough to sift through the tons of data flying around in there. It’s overwhelming and it took me a long time to control it. I think maybe you could help calm Declan’s brain enough so it won’t have the same effect it did yesterday.”

  “Which was what, exactly?” Jon asked, curious.

  Bree spoke again, “I walked in right after he fainted.” She stabbed a piece of grilled chicken and brought it to her mouth.

  Sawyer, Jon, Rylee and Corbin all cast disapproving looks at Declan and Rowan. Bree kept her attention on the salad she was maiming.

  Declan sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I know it was stupid and it could have gone much worse, but it didn’t. I’m okay and I promise not to do it again.”

  Corbin shook his head and turned his attention back to his food. “Good,” he said. “I don’t feel like training a new team member if you give yourself an aneurysm.”

  Rylee looked from Declan to Bree and then back to Rowan. “Do you really think I can help? Will it be safe for him if I’m there?”

  Rowan shifted in his chair. “I don’t know how safe it can be until he learns to control it, but I think it’s the safest option. If he’s determined to try it, we could really use your help.”

  Rylee nodded. She looked to Jon who shrugged. Then she looked at Bree who was staring at her plate, though she was no longer eating.

  “Bree?” she said, her voice gentle.

  Bree looked at her mother and shrugged. “He’s going to do it anyway, so you might as well help him.” She stood, gathering the remnants of her half-eaten lunch. “I’ll see you guys at the range.”

  Declan watched her walk away, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He hadn’t expected her to still be so angry. He was going to have to work hard to make things up to her.

  “Well?” Sawyer’s voice had him turning toward her. She was looking at him with an expression of disbelief. “Aren’t you going after her?”

  Declan opened his mouth, but he didn’t know what to say. He looked around the table at the identical expressions worn by everyone else. “Um,” he said.

  Jon rolled his eyes. “I thought you were smarter than that,” he said.

  Declan pushed away from the table and stood. “I’ll see you guys later,” he said as he hurried to catch up to Bree.

  Bree heard Declan calling her name as she made her way to the elevator, but she didn’t slow her steps. She watched the elevator doors open and let two people off. They smiled at her as they passed, and Bree forced herself to return the smile. She kept her attention on the elevator doors, willing them to remain open. She wanted to walk faster so she’d make it inside before they closed, but she didn’t want Declan to think she was running from him. She wasn’t. She just wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. She heard him call her name again and she thought he sounded closer, but she didn’t turn to look. The doors started to close when she was still several feet away and she felt disappointment bloom within her. She made it to the doors just as they slid shut. Bree jabbed a finger at the button and silently urged the doors to open. They didn’t.

  Declan’s footsteps grew louder as he approached behind her and Bree leaned forward to press the button for the elevator a second time.

  “Bree, wait,” Declan said behind her.

  She knew she was being childish, but right then she didn’t care. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. She allowed herself a quick glance over her shoulder to see Declan only a few feet from her. She turned and walked toward the stairwell door. She heard a sigh behind her but kept walking.

  Bree made her way down the stairs, ignoring the sound of the door opening and closing behind her as Declan followed.

  “Are you really going to make me chase you down the stairs?” he said. “What if I fall? I do have an injury, you know?”

  Bree barked out a humorless laugh. “Ha! Like that would stop you,” she called out as she continued down the stairs. “You didn’t let it stop you from acting stupid yesterday. I’m sure you can handle a few stairs.”

  “Come on, Bree.” Declan’s voice was pleading and part of her wanted to stop. “I’m sorry. I know I said that already, but I am. Will you please just stop and talk to me?”

  Bree turned down the next flight of stairs and kept walking, doing her best to block out the sound of Declan’s voice. It was harder than she thought. The truth was, she didn’t want to be mad at him. She wasn’t even certain she was still mad. She wasn’t happy with him, she knew, but anger didn’t seem to be the correct word for what she felt.

  “Bree, stop and just talk to me,” he said again. “Please.”

  Something in his voice got to her this time and Bree sighed. She stopped walking and stood on the landing between two flights of stairs. She waited while he caught up to her. When he did, he came to stand in front of her. Bree kept her eyes down. She didn’t want to look at him because she knew what she’d see. She’d see the sincerity in his eyes and that stupid dimple she couldn’t seem to resist. Then she’d lose whatever steam she’d had when she’d left him sitting at the table.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what else to say. It was stupid, and I should have talked to you before I tried it. I was an idiot.” He sighed. “Can you look at me?”

  Bree crossed her arms over her chest and sighed again. Jaw clenched, and brows raised, she brought her eyes up to meet his. It was a mistake, as she’d known it would be. The second she saw his face, she could feel her anger begin to drain away.

  “I hate when you’re mad at me,” he said, and one side of his mouth quirked up in a smile that had Bree’s stomach doing a little flip.

  Bree shook her head and took a deep breath. “I’m not mad,” she said. “Not anymore. I was, but I got over that last night.”

  “So, what is it?” he asked. “Talk to me.”

  She shoved his hand away when he reached for her. Okay, so maybe she was still a little angry.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” she said, glaring at him. “First you get shot and act like it’s no big deal and then two days later you’re playing with Rowan’s ability like it’s learning to tie your shoes or something. You knew it was risky, but you did it anyway. And you didn’t even think about me before you did it.”

  Declan straightened, and his face took on a more serious expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again as though realizing that what
ever he planned to say wasn’t right.

  Bree felt deflated now, her anger leaving her in a rush. She sat on the bottom step and leaned her elbows on her bent knees, her chin propped on her crossed arms. Declan sat beside her, so close his hip was nearly touching hers.

  “You’re right,” he said after a few moments of silence. “I didn’t think.” He shifted so he was facing her more directly. Bree turned her head so that she could see him, her cheek resting on her arms. “I just wanted to do something, and I didn’t think about the possible consequences. I felt useless and I thought it was a way I could help.”

  “I get that,” she said. “I do.” She trailed off for a moment then said. “But what if something worse had happened?” Her voice was just above a whisper.

  “It didn’t.”

  “Yeah, but it could have,” she said. “You had no idea what would happen.” Declan reached a hand up to touch her cheek and Bree let her eyes slide closed. “I need you,” she whispered. “I can’t do all this without you.”

  “You don’t have to,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.” Bree sat up straight and met his gaze. Declan brought his face close to hers. “I promise,” he said.

  She closed the remaining distance between them and kissed him. When the kiss ended, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, “I need you just as much.”

  They sat that way for several minutes until Declan reminded her that she was going to be late for target practice. They stood and faced one another. He pulled her to him in a hug.

  “Forgive me?” he asked in a low voice.

  She nodded against his chest. “I guess,” she said. Leaning back, she looked in his eyes. “Just promise me you’ll talk to me when it comes to things like this.”

  He nodded. “I promise,” he said solemnly. Then he leaned down to kiss her.

  “Dinner?” he asked, his expression cautious, but hopeful.

  Bree’s lips curved in a small smile. “I’ll come by later,” she said. Then she turned to go.

  Declan stood in the stairwell for a few minutes after Bree left, thinking back on their conversation. He realized that she’d been more afraid for him than angry and he felt even more like an idiot. She’d been right to storm out the night before. She seemed to have forgiven him, but he didn’t like the shadow he’d seen in her eyes as she left. He hated the thought that he’d put it there. With a sigh, he began to walk down the stairs again toward his quarters. As he did, he thought about tonight’s dinner. Maybe he’d surprise Bree by cooking for her. Cooking wasn’t his strong suit, but he could manage a few simple dishes. It was true that as a bachelor he’d lived off mostly takeout and cereal, but he wasn’t completely inept in the kitchen.

  Once the idea formed, he decided it was the perfect way for the two of them to spend a quiet evening together. It was far better than having dinner in the crowded dining hall with the rest of the team as well as most of the inhabitants of the compound. They could talk and spend some rare time alone together. As he rounded the next landing, he glanced at the sign on the wall to see where he was. He hadn’t been paying much attention and he was surprised to see that he’d made it back to his floor. He pushed through the door and into the hallway. He needed to see what he had in his kitchen before making a trip to the commissary.

  Chapter Sixteen

  When Declan left his quarters a half hour later, he had a list in his hand and a vague idea in mind. He was surprised to find Stella standing in front of his door, hand raised to knock. Her eyes grew wide in her pale face and Declan worried that he'd frightened her with his sudden appearance. He tried to give her a reassuring smile.

  “Stella,” he said. “Hey.” He knew he sounded slightly confused by her presence outside his door, because he was. The two of them had met, of course. They'd exchanged pleasantries on a few occasions, but they'd never had a one-on-one conversation. She’d definitely never come to his quarters before.

  “Declan. Hi.” Her voice was halting, as though she wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say. “Do you have a minute?”

  He tried not to let his surprise show on his face. “Sure,” he said. “Did you want to come in?”

  He thought she looked a little nervous, but she nodded. “If you’re not busy,” she said.

  He chuckled. “Not unless you count my attempts to butcher a perfectly good meal.”

  She gave him a confused look as she walked into his quarters, but he waved it away. “It’s nothing,” he said, closing the door behind them. “Have a seat. Do you want something to drink?”

  She shook her head with a small smile. “No, thanks,” she said. “I’m okay.”

  He wondered what she wanted with him. He imagined it was something important to cause her to seek him out on her own like this. Since her return, she’d kept mostly to herself and Declan rarely saw her. When he did see her, she was usually with Sawyer or Gwynn, but even that didn’t happen often. Rowan had told him that she was afraid to face everyone else and had chosen to keep hidden more often than not. He and Sawyer were working to convince her that she didn’t need to hide, but it was a slow process. Declan felt privileged that she’d chosen to show herself to him today.

  He watched as she sat on the edge of the couch, her back straight. He wished he knew how to put her at ease, but he wasn’t sure he knew her well enough. He gave her what he hoped was another reassuring smile as he sat in the chair across from her.

  “I’m sorry to just show up like this,” she said, not quite meeting his gaze. “I wanted to talk to you.” She took a breath and let it out. “About your ability.”

  Declan blinked and leaned back in his chair. It wasn’t what he’d expected her to say. “Okay,” he said, cautiously.

  She looked directly at him now. “I think I figured out why Ephraim wants you dead.”

  Declan felt his stomach drop at her words. “What? How?” He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words.

  Stella held up a hand. “Let me explain,” she said. “If I can.”

  Declan nodded and sat up straighter, feeling equal parts curiosity and dread.

  She took a breath. “It took me some time to piece it all together,” she said. “I could be way off base, but this all fits. I haven’t gone to Rowan or Conrad yet. I felt like you should hear it first.”

  “I appreciate that,” he said.

  Stella’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know how much you know about…” she paused to clear her throat, “my time with Hastings.”

  “Not much, actually,” Declan said. “Just that you were a prisoner and he used his ability to control you.” He studied her for a moment. “I can’t imagine what that was like. He only had control of me for a few minutes and that was bad enough.” He shook his head at the memory.

  Stella dropped her gaze to where her hands rested in her lap. “The hardest parts were the times in between, when he wasn’t there, and I’d come out of that fog. I’d realize what I did, remember what I’d lost.” She shook her head. “I wanted to die,” she said softly and raised her head to look at him. “I just wanted it to end.”

  Declan thought again about the few minutes that Hastings had controlled him and the alien feeling of someone else inside his head. Stella had lived it for months. He wondered how she’d kept her sanity. His respect for her went up a notch as he watched her stiffen her spine and take a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger.

  “He had me come with him and his team on several missions,” she said. “I was never sure if they were assignments from Ephraim or if they were his own personal orders. Not that it mattered. I couldn’t refuse. Sometimes he had me break into places and steal information. Then there were times he’d make me do a lot worse.” She took a shaky breath. “But the big deal was not getting caught. I wasn’t allowed to be detected and I wasn’t supposed to leave behind witnesses.” She looked at him with raised brows and gave a little sideways tip of her head. Declan understood what she wasn’t saying, and he
wished he didn’t.

  “It didn’t take me too long to figure out that the people he was looking for were Praetorians,” she said. “They didn’t all know what they were, but that didn’t matter. Hastings didn’t care if they were old or young, ignorant or pros. And he made sure I couldn’t care. Not when it mattered, when I could have done something to stop it.

  “I didn’t know what his endgame was or what he wanted with the people he took. I never saw them again after I brought them in. They just disappeared and I’m to blame for that.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. When she met his gaze again, her eyes looked haunted. Then she blinked, and the shadow seemed to clear as though she were pushing away the dark memories.

  “It’s no secret that I’ve been hiding myself since I’ve been back,” she said. “I’m not spending every second locked in my room, and obviously not many people have seen me out in the halls.” She shook her head. “It sounds creepy, I know. But people say a lot when they think no one’s listening.”

  Declan’s brows went up as he thought about all the conversations he’d had in the public areas of the compound. They hadn’t all been personal, but some were. He wondered how often Stella spied on people here. As though sensing the direction of his thoughts, she shook her head.

  “Oh no,” she said, rushing to reassure him. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t listen in on people’s private conversations. My mom always told me that was rude.”

  Declan smiled. “Your mom is usually right,” he said.

  Stella cast her eyes briefly toward the ceiling and shook her head. “Don’t let her know that.” She focused on Declan again. “What I meant was that people mention things in passing to one another that they don’t think are important. And maybe they’re not. Not by themselves, anyway. I think the reason no one put it all together was that no one had all the information. Because some of it just seems like useless details.”