The Heart of Baker’s Bay

by Danielle Jacks

  “Thank you. I’ll make this up to you.”

  “It’s fine. Go get the money and I’ll take my drink to go, seeing as you’ve added extra time to my day.” I try to sound indifferent to the task in hand, but I can’t help the smile on my face. I’m happy to do this for her, although I may change my mind. Being on the edge of the village and taking those final steps might be a different story.

  Once I have the bank bag stuffed in my jacket, coffee in one hand and my sledge in the other, I make my way to the storage case. The drink goes down easily, even though my stomach is feeling queasy. I put the paper cup in the bin and leave my sledge in its usual place outside the parcel bay.

  When I reach the village welcome sign, I stop, but everything else keeps moving. Cars zoom down the road. The shops are open and beginning to fill with their first few customers. People are already going about their day, taking no notice of me. I’m just another warm body. I can’t breathe, and I start to feel lightheaded. I edge back into the village and sit on a nearby bench.

  The bank is a hundred metres down the road, if that. It’ll take me less than fifteen minutes to be safely back in Clover Bay. Nothing is going to happen to me. There are millions of people all safe without the comfort of a small village.

  I run my hands over my face. There used to be a second-hand bookstore close to the bank. My mother sometimes took me after school. I wonder if it’s still there. I could go and have a look, if I can drag myself off this bench. It wouldn’t be out of the way and would only add five minutes to my time outside the village.

  I sit watching the world go by for a further half an hour. I can’t stay here all day; I need to make a decision. I close my eyes and listen to the background noise until warm hands cover mine, and I look up to see Jody standing over me.

  “I’m sorry. When I reached the sign, I couldn’t do it,” I say, feeling the pain haunting me through my words.

  “It’s okay. Kayleigh told me I’d made a mistake. She turned up almost on time and sent me straight up to you. I can take it from here,” Jody says, like it’s no big thing.

  I instantly feel cold when she takes her hands away. I wanted to prove her wrong and finish the task she sent me to do, but she isn’t looking at me like I’m pathetic. She looks empathetic, which isn’t as bad. I pass her the bag hidden away in my pocket.

  “I’ll be back soon. Are you waiting for me?” She smiles then starts to leave.

  “No.” The word comes out strong and loud, which shocks even me.

  “It’s okay. I understand if you need to get back to your delivery round.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  She blinks a few times, waiting for an explanation. I slowly stand up. After clenching and unclenching my fist a few times, I step towards her.

  “I’m coming with you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I blow out the air I’d been holding. “Let’s do this before I change my mind.”

  We take a few steps out of Clover Bay.

  “Do you want to hold hands?”

  I stare at her for a few seconds, forgetting I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone. Does she think I’m the childlike one in this situation, or is she trying to distract me?

  “I’ll take that as a no,” she says, reading something from me she doesn’t like.

  Before I can overthink it, I take her small hand in mine. She looks at me, but neither of us says anything. Who would’ve known this beautiful girl from the city would have me all tied up in knots? I wait for the suffocating feeling to come, but it never does. By the time we’ve reached the second-hand bookstore, I’m feeling brave. I stop walking, pulling Jody towards the window.

  “Do you need me to come into the bank or would you mind if I went in here?”

  “I won’t be long.” A wide smile appears on her face.

  I watch her disappear into the bank before I step inside the shop. The smell of old books instantly fills my nose, bringing back memories of when I was a kid. The children’s reading corner looks tiny compared to how I remembered it. It’s just a blanket and a few scatter cushions. An old copy of The Jolly Postman and Other People’s Letters catches my eye. I used to love reading this with my mum. I move onto the more recent books. A dystopian world novel by a local author catches my eye. I purchase the book and find Jody outside when I exit the store.

  “Are you ready to go back to Clover Bay?” Jody asks.

  “I was hoping to see the space museum.” My lip twitches in amusement.

  “You’re a funny guy. I think Leicester is too far for your first trip.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Next time?”

  I laugh.

  We make our way back to the village and Jody leaves me to finish my deliveries. The small distance outside Clover Bay feels big. I feel like I conquered the world. Adam one: Fears zero.

  Fourteen

  Jody

  Wednesday

  “Is everything okay with the tearoom?” my sister asks.

  “For the hundredth time, yes,” I say, rolling my eyes. My phone is on loudspeaker while I sit outside on my break. “How’s Gran?”

  “She’s in pain, but she’s good. I’ve moved a few things around in your room for when she visits.”

  “Of course you have.”

  She probably didn’t need to move anything, but that’s what my sister’s like. If she’d called yesterday, I might’ve been worried about my situation, but today, I’m feeling confident. With Adam and Kayleigh’s help, everything is running smoothly.

  “Listen, I need to run. I’ll catch up with you later,” she says.

  “Love you.”

  “Love you. Bye.”

  The line goes dead, leaving me feeling like they aren’t missing me.

  The café is quiet when I go back inside. We only have one customer, and it’s the crazy Betty lady. She sits by the window, looking out into the street.

  “I’m meeting some friends later if you want to join us,” Kayleigh says.

  “Oh, anyone I know?”

  “Supposing Adam’s your only other friend, I’ll go with no.”

  “What about Peter?” I raise an eyebrow like I’ve let out a big secret.

  “Sure. He’ll be there. How do you know Pete?” She narrows her eyes.

  She’s shortened his name, and they looked close when I saw them together. “I haven’t met him yet. I saw the two of you cosying up with the horses.” I give her a sly smile.

  “You can stop digging. There is no story there. Even crazy Betty wouldn’t try and sell that old horse.” She shrugs in a nonchalant manner.

  “So, there was something there?”

  “We’re just friends.” She pushes her hands into her pockets and leans back against the wall.

  “What’s wrong with him?”

  She yawns. “You’re not going to let this drop, are you?”

  “Come on, give me something. The only gossip I get in Clover Bay is about the best place to buy handmade soaps and who’s caught the biggest fish.”

  “Fine. We kissed one time. It was soft and sweet, end of story.” Her gaze goes off into the distance, like she’s trying to recall the memory.

  “What happened then?” I say eagerly.

  “Nothing, like I said.” She shakes her head.

  “Nothing? How come?” I pull a face, showing my confusion.

  “He didn’t bring it up and we both pretended it didn’t happen.” She picks up a cup and puts it under the tap.

  “Is that why you date the tourists?”

  She pauses. “Okay, enough of this torture. If you want to know the gossip of Clover Bay, you need to look closer to home.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I mean your mum and Adam’s parents.” She turns to face me and anchors her hand on her hip.

  “You mean the story of why my mum left?” I’m puzzled why this is gossip. Adam’s dad openly admitted he knew my mum.

  “Two words. Love triangle.�
��

  I shake my head. “No way. My mum wouldn’t leave because a guy fell for someone else. She’s a workaholic. Not even my dad could get her to put her career on hold.” He eventually got married to someone else, and his wife is family-orientated rather than a career woman. They live in Scotland, so I don’t see them often, but Gail seems nice.

  “From what my mum said, Grace and Penny were best friends. They did everything together until Harrison took an interest in them both. When he chose Penny, the girls couldn’t work out their differences.”

  “Should you two young ladies be gossiping when a customer is waiting for a refill?” Betty pipes up, waving her cup in the air.

  “Easy, Betty. We don’t want you having a heart attack.” Kayleigh slowly walks over to Betty and collects her empty cup. When she gets back to me, she mutters under her breath, “You would’ve thought she was a paying customer.”

  “I heard that,” Betty bites back.

  “Ears like a bat,” Kayleigh whispers with a smirk. I try not to react to her outburst. I’m still trying to understand the villager quirks.

  “You know, if you’re going to gossip, at least get your facts right. Harrison and Grace dated all through high school.”

  “So what went wrong?” I ask while Kayleigh makes us all a drink.

  “They grew up. Penny and Harrison were both home birds. Your mother always dreamed of flying the nest.”

  “After all this time, do you think my mum still has feelings for Adam’s dad?” She wasn’t in any hurry to return to Clover Bay when my gran needed her. Maybe it was more than work causing her hesitation.

  “As far as I know, your mother doesn’t have anything to do with the village anymore.”

  I’m lost in thought for most of the afternoon. I can’t believe my mum could hide such a big secret from me and my sister. She’s always seemed so focused on her career, and now I’m wondering if her past is what made her so invested in her work. Is my family’s work ambition driven by the breakdown of one relationship?

  When Betty finally leaves, it’s only an hour away from closing time. I wash the last cup and rest my elbows on the counter.

  “Do you mind if I go early?” Kayleigh asks, already removing her apron.

  “Sure, go for it.”

  “Why don’t you come with me? We could go straight to the pub. You’ve earned a drink after the week you’ve had.”

  I like that she asked me to go with her, and I want a social life while I’m here in Clover Bay. It’ll be nice to have familiarities to home. I don’t usually stay home every night. Plus, the chance of getting a customer now is slim. I shouldn’t close early, but what’s the point in hanging around an empty café?

  “Let me grab my coat.”

  “That’s my girl,” she says with excitement.

  The Clover and Bee has embraced the village’s founding name. Pictures of honeybees and clover fields are crammed onto every wall. The pub is modern compared to the tearoom, and it inspires my creative side, which is usually non-existent. The café could use a makeover like this.

  I take the glass of rosé from the bar and make my way to the table in the corner. Kayleigh chats with a small group of friends while I slip into the seat next to her.

  “You must be the mystery girl everyone’s talking about,” one of the guys says. I study his features.

  “And you must be the apple boy,” I say, smiling. Even though I saw Peter from afar, I know it’s him. Kayleigh and Peter’s shoulders are almost touching. They seem close, but she hadn’t mentioned him to me until I brought up his name earlier today.

  “Oh, so Kayleigh does talk about me.” His face lights up.

  She shakes her head, and he nudges her arm playfully.

  “I saw you with the horses,” I clarify, but leave out the fact Kayleigh hasn’t said a word.

  “Checking me out. It’s okay, I know I’m good-looking.” He puffs out his chest and Kayleigh rolls her eyes.

  “Not everyone fancies you, Pete,” she says.

  I laugh, enjoying the glimpse into their friendship.

  “You’re just jealous that everyone loves me.” He flexes his arm muscles, earning him another eye roll from Kayleigh.

  “Besides the fact you’re delusional, there is another reason I know you’re wrong. Jody likes the silent, brooding types.” She looks pleased with herself, like she’s unveiled a big secret. It’s obvious what she’s hinting at. Adam’s friendly once you get to know him, but I don’t acknowledge her comment.

  “I’m strictly a Jason Momoa type of girl.” Kayleigh holds up her glass and I meet it with my own before taking a sip of my wine.

  A large party of women streams into the pub. My gaze flickers to the window, where I see Adam staring in at me with an unreadable expression on his face. He signals for me to come outside, so I make my excuses and make my way towards him.

  I’m about to ask him if he wants to join us, when he holds his hand up with a stern expression on his face.

  “After finding the café closed, I had to lead the nice ladies of the Out and About club here. Do you realise how much money you’ve lost in sales?” Adam asks, in a not so friendly tone.

  I glance at the time on my phone. “It’s almost five p.m.; I couldn’t handle all those people on my own. You need to lighten up. They can get a drink inside,” I say, gesturing to the pub.

  “You do know how a business works, right? Having customers is what pays the bills.”

  I play with the edge of my t-shirt. I know he’s right. “Okay, I’ll admit I’ve messed up. What do you want me to say? It’s too late now, so what’s the point of this conversation other than to point out my flaws once again.”

  “In one breath you want to try your best to make things work, but then you lack commitment when it’s needed.”

  Ouch. That hurt to hear those words from Adam, but I don’t let it show. A sickly feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, but I try to stay headstrong. I don’t want him to see how much his disappointment affects me. It feels different with him. I care what he thinks of me. “It’s not new for me to find people are disappointed in me. This is the story of my life. My sister’s the good one, I’m the screw-up. I’m going back inside to enjoy my wine. You can either join me or leave me alone.”

  I don’t wait for his reply. Instead, I storm back to the table, gulp down my drink, and go to get another one. Adam is the one person I didn’t want to see me as a complete failure, but I can’t change what’s happened. It sucks, but every time I think I’ve got a grip on our relationship, I manage to mess up. I take one step forward with him and two back. It makes me frustrated with myself. I want to be better when I’m around him. Is it too much to ask to get something right for a change?

  Fifteen

  Jody

  Thursday

  My head hurts from the four glasses of wine I drank last night. I apply my mascara and eyeliner heavier than usual. Something tells me I’m going to need all the help I can get today. I run a brush through my hair and tie it up in a bun.

  I make my way downstairs and fill a tall glass with water. After gulping it down, I refill it and place it on the worktop counter. There’s a sharp knock on the glass door, and Adam’s waiting outside. Glancing at the clock, I realise I have fifteen minutes until opening time, and I’m nowhere near ready.

  I sigh, wishing I hadn’t had that last glass of wine. Each step towards the front of the shop has me praying Adam hasn’t come to shout at me. My head’s too sore for that. I plaster a fake smile onto my face and open the barrier between us. The bell rings, and Adam enters the café without hesitation. He heads straight to the back of the room as I close the door behind him. He disappears into the kitchen, and I hear the tap running. When he reappears, he pours water into the dispenser and begins to unpack flapjacks from his rucksack.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, finally making my way to the counter.

  “After your late night, I thought you’d need a hand setting up. I was pas
sing, so I thought I’d stop by.”

  How could he know I had a late night when he refused to join us? A more important question brews in my mind.

  “Why?” My mouth has no filter this morning. I should be thanking him, yet my confusion is winning. He pauses with the lid to the cake stand in mid-air. He lifts his eyes to meet mine.

  “Why?” he repeats.

  The word hangs between us. I don’t know his motive, but this probably wasn’t the way to ask. His eyebrows furrow.

  “Yes. Why are you helping me?” I watch him closely, but he doesn’t react. Instead, he avoids my question and continues to set up. I’d like to think he wants to spend time with me, but that might not be what this is. He doesn’t open up to me, so I don’t know how he feels about me. Does he pity me, or does he like me? I’m regretting asking why he wants to lend a hand. The answer might not be one I’d like to hear. It might not even be personal. My grandmother or sister might’ve asked him to look out for me, but I’m hoping it’s more than that. Although, the doubt still lingers in the back of my mind. Maybe our friendship is based on pity rather than him liking me.

  “Don’t you want me to?” When he finally looks at me, I’m not seeing pity; it’s more like pain. He’s trying not to give anything away, but his expression is hardened. His eyebrows are pulled together and his jaw looks tight.

  I look away, suddenly feeling self-conscious from his stare. “I never said that. You must have better things to do than look after me.”

  “I’m here, aren’t I? Isn’t that proof enough that I want to be here?”

  I nod. “Okay. As long as I’m not putting you out.”

  “It’s fine.” His lip twitches in a slight smile. I can’t help but mirror his expression only wider.

  “Let me cook you dinner tonight,” I blurt out. I’m about as smooth as sandpaper, but I owe him at least a meal for everything he’s done for me. It would be nice to give him something back.