A Lifetime to Share

by Kathleen Ball

  She was just as glad he was busy. She didn’t trust her voice to not crack. Cheryl was right. She knew more about men than Amelia did. Obviously, his kisses had all been for show. She hadn’t realized how much she’d hoped he was beginning to like her until now. A lump formed in her throat. There was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t even undress in front of Eli. She’d simply have to pretend she didn’t know what he was doing at the fort.

  Eli looked over the bolts of fabric in the general store. He found a few he liked. One was a heavy green material that would be useful for when it got colder. Another was green and white gingham and the third was a light green with the prettiest flowers on it. He told the man behind the counter he needed sewing stuff and buttons or whatever a dress would need. He also purchased a bunch of yarn and some knitting needles. He’d asked the Cruthers for Amy’s things but they had laughed at him. They were not the nicest of folks. The woman waiting on him suggested some muslin for undergarments and a soft fabric for a nightgown. He said yes to it all.

  Glancing outside, he noticed the sun was getting lower in the sky. He’d been in the store much longer than he’d intended. He paid for his purchases and headed for the saloon. He’d promised Jed he’d meet him there.

  Jed stopped at every fort looking for any information about Lily Willis. So far, there had been little information about her but Jed refused to give up hope. He was certain she was alive and all he had to do was find her. Eli didn’t think it would be that simple.

  He spotted Jed sitting at a table with a couple of old trappers they knew. Eli smiled and weaved through the crowd to their table. “Well if it isn’t Old Blue and Crocker. How’ve you two scoundrels been?”

  “Pull up a chair, Eli, and chaw a bit,” Old Blue said. He gave Eli a toothless grin. “Heard tell congratulations are in order. You tied the knot. Good for you.”

  “Nothing like a sweet wife on a cold night,” Croker said with a nod. “You’re a lucky man.”

  Old Blue poured whiskey into a clean glass. “We need to have a drink to celebrate.” He topped off the rest of the drinks and put the bottle down on the scarred, wooden table that had seen better days. He held up his glass. “Women, can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Now drink up, and we’ll pass the whiskey again.”

  They all tossed their drinks back, and then Crocker reached for the bottle.

  “No more for me, thanks,” Eli said. “I have to get back.”

  “You henpecked already?” Crocker asked, assessing him with a narrow-eyed stare.

  Eli laughed. “I guess so. Plus I have a wagon party I’m leading. I need to set a good example.”

  Jed stood. “We’d both best get back.”

  “Sorry we didn’t have any information about Lily. We ask everyone we see,” Old Blue said.

  “I’ll find her someday. Thanks, guys. I’m sure we’ll see you around.” Jed tipped his hat and walked out with Eli.

  They mounted their horses and headed back toward camp. The disappointment on Jed’s face was hard to take. Eli just hoped they’d find something out and soon. Jed didn’t seem as though he was going to stop looking until he found out exactly what happened to her. He just hoped he didn’t wear out his heart hoping to see her again.

  The sun was setting as they finally dismounted. Jed offered to take care of the horses, so Eli grabbed his saddlebags and hurried over to his wagon. He couldn’t wait to see Amy and show her the presents he’d bought her.

  He stopped short when he spotted her sitting next to the fire. Her eyes were red and puffy as though she’d been crying. She stared into the flames and didn’t look up when he walked within the circle of the firelight.

  “Are you alright?” he asked softly. “You look so sad.”

  She startled and gazed up at him. “I’m fine. The wind blew dust into my eyes and they’ve been irritated all afternoon.” She gave him a half smile. “How was the fort? You were gone for a long time. Is there so very much to see there?”

  He grabbed a wooden crate and sat on it. “The general store is pretty well stocked.”

  “Yes, Smitty found preserves.”

  He didn’t like the sadness he saw in her eyes. “Are you sure something didn’t happen while I was gone?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Cheryl came by. She’s not the most pleasant of people, but I told her to leave.”

  “Good for you. It must have been hard standing up to her.”

  “It was.”

  He stood and pulled the crate next to hers, sat down and grabbed his saddle bag.

  “What took you so long getting back? Most people were back hours ago?”

  He caressed her shoulder. “Is that what’s wrong? I met Jed at the saloon. He’s in search of Lily. He asks everyone we meet up with. ”

  Tilting her head, she seemed to be studying him. “He must love her very much.”

  “She was too young for him to be thinking along those lines when she was taken. I think they had a budding friendship but that was all. He’s decided that he will indeed find her and I hope he finds her well. Sometimes Jed cares too much.”

  “And you? Do you ever care too much?”

  Eli frowned. “Caring too much only leads to heartache. If there is one thing I don’t need, it’s heartache.” He didn’t like the direction of the conversation and hurriedly reached inside of his saddlebag. He pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string and placed it on her lap. The way her eyes widened reminded him of a child at Christmas.

  Amy touched the wrapping and then the string for a while before she pulled the bow formed by the string and slowly unwrapped the package. Tears shimmered in her eyes when she saw the fabric and all the notions that were included for her to sew a dress. She fingered each item and stroked each fabric with a look of wonder on her face.

  “This is all for me?”

  “That and a few more items.”

  “But you shouldn’t have spent your money on me.”

  “Amy, look at me.” He waited until she met his gaze. “A man is allowed to buy pretty things for his wife.”

  She turned a becoming shade of crimson. “But I’m not… I mean we haven’t…”

  “Our marriage is a real one. There’s no rush. I’d like you to be comfortable with me before we take that step.” He gave her a gentle smile. He watched her open her yarn and knitting needles, but the biggest smile came when she opened the cake of lavender soap.

  “Did you smell this? I never knew soap could smell so good. I mean we only had lye soap at the farm. Eli, you are such a sweet man and I thank you for everything.” She cradled the soap in her hands as though it was a fragile egg.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  Amy nodded and put everything away very carefully. “Are you hungry? I was waiting for you to get back before I ate.”

  Her happiness was contagious, and his heart opened. “I’m glad you waited we can eat together.”

  Chapter Six

  Amelia wiped her tears as three more graves were filled in. That made a total of eighteen people they’d lost traveling from the Platte River Valley toward Independence Rock. It had been hard, dry, grueling travel. The watering holes were few and far between and there had been very little grass for the livestock. Many of the water holes had been fouled and were deadly to drink.

  They buried the first six people; two entire families two days after reaching one of the hazardous water holes. Eli, Jed, and Smitty all instructed people to stay away from the poisonous water. They even assigned guards near them but the two families must have snuck around and found one to use. Unfortunately, they paid the price as did their livestock.

  Poor Lynn Downey had been run ragged the last few weeks trying to help everyone get well.

  The days had been long going extra miles to find usable water. Thankfully, they did come upon good water once in awhile. People started listening and conserved their water.

  All was well for a few days until people started to
get feverish and awfully weak. There didn’t seem to be any way to figure out why some people got it and others didn’t. Lynn said it was called Rocky Mountain spotted fever. At least some of the sick didn’t die, but it was heartbreaking to listen to the mournful cries and then the sound of the shovels hitting the hard-packed dirt to dig the graves.

  The three graves she stood over now were the hardest. Three young boys had died of cholera. They’d snuck off and gone swimming in fouled water. One of the boys included Lynn’s youngest, Danny who had only been nine years old. Lynn was being held up by Smitty. He wanted to have her lie down in her wagon, but she refused.

  Amelia bowed her head as Pastor Otter prayed over the small graves. She swayed a bit, and instantly Eli had his arms around her, lending her his strength. It had been equally as hard on him and every night he gathered her close next to him. She was glad to be able to provide him with some comfort.

  Some of the party had unfairly accused him of being responsible and they vowed to join up with another train once they reached Independence Rock. Independence Rock was less than a day away and Eli promised plenty of cool clean water upon reaching there.

  When the service was over, everyone walked away from the graves, all except for Lynn and Smitty. Amelia watched as Smitty murmured in Lynn’s ear. Amelia swallowed hard and walked back to her wagon. Eli kissed her on the cheek before he mounted Roman and rode to where they would begin their trek for the day.

  “God always takes the best ones it seems,” Cheryl Cruthers said loud enough for Amelia to hear. “Too bad he doesn’t take the cripples.”

  Amelia ran to the bushes and got sick. How could anyone say such a thing? She didn’t need to turn around to know Cheryl was right behind her. Amelia straightened up but she couldn’t bring herself to turn around.

  “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were in the family way, but we know Eli wouldn’t want to touch you. Perhaps God will take you after all.”

  Amelia sighed in relief when Cheryl left. How one person could be so hateful she didn’t know. She hurried to the wagon and rinsed her mouth. She made sure everything was packed up before she climbed up to the wagon seat. It would be a better day of travel knowing they would be at Independence Rock before nightfall.

  “Wagon’s ho!” Eli called out and they were off. Hopefully, death would remain behind them for a very long time.

  Independence Rock came into view almost immediately though they had many hours before they came close to it. It was so hard to judge distance out in the open, but the sight of it lifted everyone’s spirits. Amelia heard people calling to each other to skip the nooning but she hadn’t seen Eli since they started out.

  Soon enough, Jed rode down the line telling everyone we would indeed be stopping. Amelia heard some grumbling and it made her smile. No matter what, people just weren’t happy. They didn’t bother to circle but stopped where they were. Amelia started to climb down when she was plucked into the air by her husband’s warm hands and cradled upon his lap.

  “There are those who didn’t want to stop for the nooning,” she said as she leaned back against him.

  “I need for Smitty and Lynn to catch up. Lynn refused to move from Danny’s grave.” His voice cracked as he whispered into her ear. “Smitty is driving her wagon for her. I’ve never seen him so cut up. He’s always been our rock. I guess I forgot he’s a man with feelings.”

  She gave his forearm a gentle squeeze. “It must be a hard thing to lose a husband and then a child. I’m glad she had Smitty.”

  “Me too. I can’t wait to show you Independence Rock. We can climb up and carve your name. I’ve carved my name already.”

  Her body stiffened as dread filled her. “I won’t be able to make the climb but thank you anyway. I appreciate the thought. Why do they call it Independence Rock?”

  “You want to have your party at the rock by the Fourth of July to be sure you’re on schedule to get through the mountain passes before it snows. We’ll spend a few days resting. The livestock need to graze to regain their strength. Look!” He pointed to the massive rock. “You can see canvas as far as the eye can see. We’ll have plenty of company.”

  “I thought you didn’t like to camp too close to other parties.”

  “It depends on the circumstances. Early in the trip, you have to watch for opportunists that have no plans to go very far at all. They go from train to train and rob people blind. There are the cattle rustlers and horse stealers. But usually by this part of the trail, I’ll need to post one guard near our wagons in case, but for the most part we can all relax.”

  “You’d best put me back down. I want to make enough food for Lynn and her brood plus Smitty and your brother.”

  Eli jumped to the ground and reached up for her. His hands around her waist made her whole body tingle. He pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re such a good, kind woman, Amy. I’m glad you’re my wife.”

  She caught herself before her jaw dropped. Heat spread across her face when she stared up at him. “Thank you for saying that.” Taking a step back, she then turned and hurried to make a fire. Of course, she wasn’t a good wife, but it was nice to hear.

  Once she had the fire going, she cooked up bacon and then made fried cakes using the bacon grease. She had everything ready by the time Smitty arrived with Lynn and her three remaining boys. Lynn made the motions of sitting and accepting a plate of food but her eyes were lifeless.

  Amelia exchanged worried glances with both Eli and Jed. She made sure each of the boys ate, and Smitty brought over milk from Lynn’s cow. It was a nice treat. She planned to put some in the butter churn, and by the time they stopped for the night there would be butter from the constant movement of the wagon shaking the churn.

  Watching the love on Smitty’s face made Amelia’s heart ache a bit. She wished Eli looked at her that way. Giving herself a mental shake, she got up and refilled the cups. She was lucky to have Eli at all, and she should be grateful that she had a husband. But still love would have been such a bonus.

  The breeze was beginning to kick up a bit by the time she had the wagon all packed and ready to continue on. Smitty led Lynn to her wagon and set her up into the seat while the boys all scrambled into the back. There really wasn’t any sense to think about a future. There was no guarantee that they’d make it to the end.

  Eli watched as Jed rode back to the moving wagons. It was still early enough in the day to ford the Sweetwater River but it all depended how crowded it was on either side.

  Jed reined his horse in. “We’re all set to ford the Sweet Water. It’s not as crowded as some years. I guess our early start paid off.”

  “Let’s get the wagons moving just a bit faster so we can enjoy the river after we cross before it gets too dark. I want to give Amy another swimming lesson.”

  Jed laughed. “Is that what you call it? Swimming lessons? You do know that you’re married and you can make sweet love to you wife without using code words don’t you?”

  Eli’s face heated. “We’ll just be swimming. We haven’t…”

  Jed’s eyes grew wide. “I thought you wanted your marriage to be a real forever type of thing. Did I miss something?”

  Eli shook his head. “That’s between Amy and me. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

  “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I’ll get the lead wagons moving faster. See ya.” Jed spurred his horse and rode away.

  Eli shook his head. Why had he said such a thing? He sighed. At least Jed didn’t have a big mouth. He watched the wagons go by from a distance and smiled when he saw his Amy. She never once complained about driving the wagon. It was probably easier than walking. Though she would have if asked to. As far as he was concerned, the Cruthers were the losers. Aaron, while he was a nice kid, sulked constantly. He didn’t seem to take kindly to having to do all the work, and Eli often heard yelling coming from their wagon.

  But that wasn’t his business, and frankly, he didn’t much care what they di
d. He’d have to pay attention and make sure they didn’t try to leave Aaron behind but he had others who had lost and buried loved ones, not thrown them away. They were his main concern. Many gave up and turned home, and he needed to talk to each survivor and see what they wanted to do and then help them accomplish it. Unfortunately, death was a major problem with traveling west. Too many people died. Some trips they were luckier than others. But he’d heard of whole trains being wiped out, so he was luckier than most.

  As they rode toward the Spring Water River, Eli grew more anxious to have Amy in his arms while he taught her to swim. He loved having her close to him. She’d been using the lavender soap he’d purchased, and the smell was drawing him to her like bees to honey. When would be the right time for them to consummate their marriage? How would he know? He was more than ready but he sensed reluctance on Amy’s part. She did say once he saw her he’d not want her. He’d seen the outline of her lovely, naked body when they’d gone swimming but he couldn’t see her hip. What could be so bad?

  He rode on toward the turtle-shaped rock. It had to have something to do with her leg. He just couldn’t imagine anything that could be so ugly that would keep him away from her. He liked being around her. She was a good woman and it would be so nice to come home to her after each trek west. How was he going to get the closeness he craved without losing his heart? He’d figure out some way. He’d also have to figure out how not to get her with child. A child would bind him too close to her. It might not be safe for her to have children.

  The livestock smelled the water before they saw it and picked up the pace to get to it.

  Eli rode to Amy’s wagon and grinned at her. He loved her resulting blush. “We’re going to keep going and ford the river. It’ll be an easy crossing, but Jed and I will ride ahead to help everyone across. Do you want me drive the wagon over for you?”