A Lifetime to Share

by Kathleen Ball

  She was good with a gun and a rifle. She had the Cruthers to thank for that. She’d used to do all the hunting. Heck, she could shoot a leaf off a tree from a long distance, not that anyone ever cared, but that skill could only help her now. She wondered how the Cruthers would protect themselves. A wry smile tugged at her mouth. Too bad, they had left her behind. Their fate was of their own making. If Aaron had any sense he’d hide.

  She heard the pounding of horse's’ hooves before she saw the Indians. They were screaming as they rode closer. It was an eerie sound. She never knew that one could hear an arrow fly but when so many flew, they could be heard slicing through the air. Then came the cries from people who’d been hit. Drawing a deep breath and holding it, Amelia took her first shot. Her aim was true, but the realization she had killed a man made her sick to her stomach.

  She shook her head. The Indians were trying to kill the people in the wagon train. It was either her or them, and she planned on living a long life. She hoped—prayed— that Eli was safe. Another shot, and another man killed. She shot and reloaded, over and over, always hitting her target. Then the Indians rode off and regrouped. She saw one of them point in her direction. They knew, they knew she was a killer. Her breathing quickened and her heart sped faster and faster.

  Eli and Jed both slid under the wagon flanking her. She saw others behind the wagon wheels close by.

  “They want me dead,” she whispered.

  “We’re here.” Eli reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

  “Dang, Amy, you can shoot!” Jed said, the admiration in his voice was clear.

  “I-I had to do all the hunting at home, and I didn’t dare return home without something to cook. Don’t distract me. I want to be ready.” She could hear the screams of pain, the wails of women who had lost someone and children crying.

  “Here they come,” Eli yelled.

  They waited until the Indians came closer. They were intent on her position and when multiple shots were fired from her wagon they looked shocked. The smell of gunpowder and the sight of dead bodies piling up became almost unbearable, but she shot and reloaded until the Indians finally rode away. She waited and held her breath and didn’t relax until Eli took charge. He had Jed post guards and directed a few of the other men to go from wagon to wagon to access the damage and to see if anyone was injured.

  She wriggled her way out from under the wagon and stepped to the side. She was immediately sick.

  Eli handed her a wet cloth to wipe her mouth with. “You alright?” His eyes seemed to be looking right into her soul.

  She nodded. “I’m fine. You have a camp full of people who need you. I’ll compose myself and help with the wounded.”

  Eli kissed her cheek. “You are a wonder, Amy.” He turned and ran toward Smitty’s wagon. Most of the wounded had been taken there. She watched him, thankful he was unhurt.

  She drank a dipperful of water and then started walking toward Smitty’s. People were congratulating and thanking her. She nodded at each person, but her heart ached for all she had killed. She wanted to shout at them to stop telling her she’d done a great job. Killing was not a great thing. But it wouldn’t be fitting, especially since they had lost some of their own. She put their words out of her mind. There were too many wounded who needed help. She rolled up her sleeves and went right to work cleaning and bandaging wounds.

  She lost track of how many people she bandaged. A good deal of time later, Lynn took her hand and drew her up to her feet. “Honey, you’re in shock. I’ve seen the look in your eyes before. The last thing you need is to be among the wounded.” Lynn glanced around. “Eli,” she called. She waited until he stood at Amelia’s side. “Take your wife somewhere pleasant for a bit. She’s seen too much death today. Even if it’s just inside your wagon.”

  “But I’m fine,” Amelia objected. Suddenly she found herself scooped up into Eli’s strong arms and on her way to their wagon. “Eli, put me down. I’m not one of those women who faint at the slightest thing.”

  He set her inside the wagon and climbed in after her. “I know that, Amy, but what happened is anything but slight. Have you ever killed a person before?”

  She swallowed hard and shook her head. Tears began to pour down her face. “I shouldn’t be crying. You’re safe and so is Jed. I don’t have any reason for tears.”

  Eli lay on their bedding and pulled her down beside him. He kissed her forehead and then tucked her head under his chin as he rubbed up and down her back. “It’s fine to be upset. I thank God you were with us today. If they hadn’t decided to focus on you, who knows what would have happened. But killing, no matter what the circumstances, takes a toll on a person.”

  It felt so good to be snuggled up against her husband. His words were wise ones, and suddenly she realized just how drained she really was. With a sigh, she allowed herself to relax against his warm body and soon found herself drifting toward sleep.

  The next morning she again found herself lying on top of Eli, but this time she welcomed the comfort it gave her. He must have washed up before coming to bed, he smelled like soap. A much better scent than gunpowder or blood. She stiffened, remembering the day before. She still had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. What if more Indians came seeking revenge? Of course, she’d heard of Indian attacks, but they hadn’t seen any Indians except for a few that traded. They probably had wives and children they hadn’t made it home to.

  She’d heard every word people used for Indian. She even learned a few she didn’t know and didn’t want to know. How many members of the wagon train had died? She supposed she’d best get up and find out. A shiver raced through her, and she closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see all the dead bodies. After getting dressed, she quietly climbed out of the wagon and was surprised that all the bodies were gone and Smitty was leaning against their wagon wheel with a rifle lying across his lap.

  “Coffee is ready,” he said quietly.

  “Thank you. Did you get any sleep last night?”

  He shrugged. “Enough. I watched the Indians come and take away the bodies.”

  “They were here?”

  “Yes they have special burial ceremonies so they can go on to their afterlife.”

  Amelia drew her brows together. “Afterlife?”

  “Their version of heaven. Most people have the same beliefs about there being a God and an afterlife. It’s just the way they practice their beliefs that make them seem different. They were here only to gather their people, not to make more trouble. But we’d best get a move on. Is Eli still sleeping?”

  “I’ll be right out,” Eli called.

  Amelia looked around. “Where did all of the food come from?” There were biscuits and pan-fried cakes, as well as bacon, bread, and milk.

  Smitty smiled. “People wanted to thank you. Apparently, you saved a lot of lives. A few of the Indians you shot were aiming at them at the time. People are grateful to you.”

  Eli climbed down from the wagon. “Well, look at all that good food! We’ll never be able to eat it all. Smitty, would you be so kind as to hand some out to the people low on supplies?”

  “I was hoping that would be the case. I already have a few bundles made up. I’ll be back.” He gathered four old flour sacks and went to make deliveries.

  Amelia reached for the coffee pot and winced as a sharp pain expanded in her shoulder.

  “What is it?” Eli walked to her side and stared down at her.

  “My shoulder. That rifle has a big kick to it.”

  Eli reached out and began to unbutton the top of her dress. She swatted his hand. “Eli people can see us.”

  He nodded. “I guess I was more concerned with your injury than the delicate sensibilities of a few. Come on into the wagon with you.” He picked her up and put her right in.

  “I’m not a rag doll, you know. You keep just picking me up whenever you want.”

  Eli climbed in behind her. “It’s a perk to being married to a strong, tall man.” He grinne
d. “Now let’s see your shoulder.”

  The first two buttons were already undone, yet she hesitated. Somehow it didn’t seem right. “Maybe you could get Lynn for me?”

  Eli shook his head. “She’s tending the wounded and getting them ready for travel.” He reached for her buttons and she scrambled to undo them herself.

  Eli peeled her dress off one shoulder and gasped. “Confound it, Amy! Why didn’t you say something yesterday? I don’t think I’ve ever seen bruises like this on any woman before. You look like a dang mule kicked you.”

  “It looks worse than it hurts. It’s nothing really.”

  Eli laughed. “If you were on fire you’d tell me it was nothing to worry about.” He dipped a clean cloth into the water bucket and dabbed at her shoulder. “Here hold this against your shoulder. Smitty has all kinds of salves, and I’m sure he’ll be back shortly. How are you doing otherwise?”

  “I’m just fine. Ready to make tracks and get far, far away from here. Did you know they picked up their dead?”

  “I did know that. I’ll find Smitty. I’m sure I have some reassuring to do. The others are spooked too. You’ll be alright for a few minutes?”

  Amelia nodded. “Go on. I’m surprised a few of the women didn’t faint yesterday.”

  Eli kissed her cheek. “A few did. No one was as brave as you.”

  His comforting warmth left with him.

  Chapter Eight

  Eli shook his head as he watched Amy drive the wagon. It had been two weeks, and deep colorful bruises still showed on her ivory skin. They had to hurt, but she refused help. She certainly was a stubborn one. Ever since the attack, she’d been having nightmares. The fact that she killed some men tormented her. He was at a loss as to what to do.

  He spurred Roman to the other side of the train and scanned the horizon. So far there had been no more signs of Indians. They were getting pretty close to Fort Bridger and there was usually peace along the route. It didn’t surprise him one bit when the rest of the party had decided on staying with the wagon train along the Fort Bridger route. There was safety in numbers, plus he had Amy. She sure could shoot. He grinned. His wife was full of surprises.

  It was getting harder and harder to lie next to her and not touch her the way he wanted to, though. He wasn’t sure what to do except maybe to stop touching her and kissing her. He was too tempted, and he didn’t want to make a wrong move. Starting that evening he was going to sleep under the wagon. He’d come up with a reason.

  The closer they got to Fort Bridger the more shacks they saw dotting the area. They were mostly trapper cabins. He’d spotted a few Indian women sitting in front of the cabins and immediately rode to Amy to let her know she’d be fine.

  Amy’s eyes were wide and her face looked pinched. “You do see them, don’t you?” She slowed down enough for him to jump off Roman onto the wagon. “I have the rifle under the seat.”

  “That’s a good idea. Those women are wives of trappers. They mean you no harm. In fact they make the best buckskins. Do you need anything from the store?”

  “No, I have everything I need.”

  Eli nodded. “What about material for dresses? Did you use what I got for you at Fort Laramie?”

  “Indeed I have. I just haven’t had an occasion to wear them.”

  He stared at her. “Amy, you can wear them anytime you want. There is no use saving them when you need them now. Actually it would please me if you would wear them.”

  “Oh, I’ve never had anything brand new before and I thought to save them. But if you want me to wear them I’d be delighted to.” Her grin was infectious. “I’ll put one on before going to the store with you.”

  “I have to warn you, Fort Bridger isn’t anything like Fort Laramie. It’s hardly a Fort at all. There is a general store and a blacksmith shop. They have livestock for sale and their prices can be steep. Old Bridger takes advantage of the fact that he has the only supplies around. Then there is the ferry after that and it costs six dollars. I need to go warn everyone not to spend all their money.”

  “Eli? Have you ever left someone behind for lack of money?”

  “Once. A man spent all his money on whor—on women he shouldn’t have and expected my brother Mike to pay his way. Mike told him to go get a job, there were plenty more tolls to pay.”

  “What if someone doesn’t have enough money? Do you pay?”

  Eli shrugged. “No, I trade. This allows people to keep their pride. I trade for a cooked dinner or whatever I happen to know they have more than enough of.”

  Her look of admiration made him feel ten feet tall. “I’ll see you at the fort.” He almost leaned over to kiss her but stopped himself and mounted up on Roman again. He saw the question in her eyes but he couldn’t explain what being near her did to him.

  Amelia twirled around in her new dress. It was green and white gingham. Her first brand new dress. She took extra pains to get her hair just right and then stood at the back of the wagon.

  Eli immediately helped her down and then gave a low whistle. “You are beautiful.” His grin flashed. “And one heck of a dressmaker.”

  Her face heated with pleasure. “Thank you. Lynn helped me cut the pattern out, but I did all the stitching. Thank you for the material, Eli. I feel so different. You’ve probably noticed the only dresses I had were brown. All my dresses had been either black or brown and hand me downs.” She smoothed a hand along one sleeve and sighed. “I feel like a princess.”

  She waited for him to kiss her, but he didn’t. In fact, he hadn’t in about a week. It had to be something she’d done, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure it out. Ever since the Indian attack, he’d been a bit distant. Maybe he didn’t approve of his wife being so good with a rifle, though he’d praised her plenty at the time. The thought stole a piece of her happiness away.

  “A princess you most certainly are not!” Cheryl Cruthers commented. “Look at you putting on airs and trying to act better than the rest of us!” Her voice became increasingly louder until it seemed as though everyone was staring. “You were so lacking, the school wouldn’t allow you to attend.”

  Eli stepped in front of Amelia. “I suggest you take your hate and move along. I also suggest you never talk to my wife like that again.”

  “Humphh!” She turned on one foot and marched away but the damage was done. People were staring and whispering behind their hands.

  “You go on to the store without me,” Amelia told Eli. “I’ll only shame you if I go.”

  “Not on your life. You’re coming with me.” Eli took her hand and tugged until she started walking. He smiled down on her and any other day it would have made her warm inside but it was as though the light went out of her.

  The fort was much smaller than she expected. The surrounding fence was made of tall wood and the gate was smaller than she’d seen at any other fort. They strolled through the open gate and she stopped.

  “Are you sure this is the right place?” She glanced around, and all she could see was two long log cabins with a corral in between them.

  “Yes, this is it. I told you it wouldn’t be as big as Fort Laramie.”

  She shook her head. “Where is the Army?”

  “It’s not an Army outpost. It’s just a place to get supplies if you’re running low. Come on.” He gently pulled her along into the store. “If you see anything you’d like just let me know.”

  “I don’t need anything, thank you.”

  He tilted his head and stared at her. “I’ve never known a female who didn’t want something from the store. Perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted but couldn’t have? Look around a bit.” He let go of her hand and walked toward the back of the store.

  Something she’d always wanted? She browsed and there were all kinds of things in the store but she couldn’t find anything she was lacking. Then she spotted a brand new bonnet—and it wasn’t brown. She picked it up and studied it for a bit then put it back. She’d figure out how to make her
own. She walked out of the now-crowded store and sat on a weathered bench. She’d just wait for Eli to come out.

  Most people coming and going nodded to her and said hello, but soon enough Cheryl came her way with a few of the ladies she’d cultivated as friends. “If it isn’t her highness. Too good to go into the store like us common folk?”

  “No, just waiting for my husband is all.” She was determined to remain unruffled. “Enjoy your shopping.” She turned her body a bit so she didn’t have to look at them, but she still heard their laughter.

  “They’re just jealous.” Lynn plopped down next to her. “Did you know not one of those women even offered condolences to me? People die on the trip west. We all heard about it and were warned but some of them think I didn’t do enough to save their loved ones. I love helping and healing folks but not if they turn on me.” She sighed. “Smitty has been a wonder with the boys, and from what I understand there are two boys left stranded here. Their folks died, and not one person has been willing to take them on. I know traveling has been grueling and some supplies are running low. The prices here are outrageous, but no one could have taken the boys?” She shook her head and frowned. “Would you think it foolish if I take them with my brood? I’m not trying to replace Danny, but I have enough love in my heart for those two.”

  Amelia smiled. “Tell me about them.”

  Lynn’s face lit up. “They’re brothers. Carlos is ten and Juan is thirteen. Diphtheria took their sister Angelique and their parents. They’ve been here at the Fort for over a week and were just deciding to head out on their own. From what I gather, they had to bury their family themselves because no one wanted to catch it. Their wagon was burned and they were left behind.”