A Lifetime to Share

by Kathleen Ball

  All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be fine. But what was the use? It was obvious she wouldn’t allow him to come that close to her.

  “Take care. I’ll be back tonight to be sure the wagon and oxen are all set. We’ll be hitting a hot dry spell, and there won’t be much grass for the oxen. Tempers will flair so we all need to remain calm.”

  “Fine.”

  His heart squeezed as he turned Roman and continued down the train.

  He’d allowed a two-hour break at Fort Hall, giving everyone a chance to buy supplies if needed. Afterwards, he led them for another five hours. This was the last chance for water and grass. As soon as they were all circled, he called for a meeting.

  Standing upon a crate, he scanned the crowd, and he wasn’t surprised by the hostile glares he received from some of the women. If they were so upset why didn’t they stand with Amy? Hypocrites, all of them, but who was he to judge?

  “Take advantage of the clean water and be sure your livestock are well grazed and watered. Fill everything you can with water. It’s going to be our longest haul without water, and you will need to conserve. You won’t want to waste water washing clothes or bathing.” He waited. This was always the part where the women gasped, and he wasn’t disappointed this time. He waited for them to quiet before he continued. “It’ll be hot, dusty, and dry, and you’ll be tempted to use more water than necessary. Please heed my warning. Get yourselves good and clean and fill every pot, pan, barrel, and jar with water.”

  Stan Otter stepped forward. “It says in the guide book that we will reach the Snake River next. Surely we can get water from the river.”

  “You’re right about it being the Snake River. In fact, the water we’re camped at now is a creek from the Snake River. But we’ll be climbing, and soon enough the river will be out of reach. It cuts through the canyon, and we’ll be able to see it but not get to it.”

  “I bet there is a better way to go!” Benjamin yelled. Many of the men nodded.

  “You are welcome to break off from the rest of us. You all know my experience as a guide and a Captain. Now, there’s plenty of daylight left today to get everything done. Jed, Rex, Smitty, and I will be checking your wagons to be sure you are greasing your wheels and to answer any questions you may have.”

  “Excuse me, Eli, how long will we be without water?” Belva Hawkins asked.

  He wanted to ignore her, but he couldn’t. “It’s three hundred miles. It depends on the oxen. We can’t afford to tax them too much. It could take just about a month.” The crowd groaned. “We’ll need to exercise patience, and a bit of helping thy neighbor would be nice. Go get your chores done. We head out in the morning.”

  The crowd dispersed, all except for the widow. She stayed and approached him. “I’m going to need your help in getting my wagon ready.” She flashed him a smile as she touched his arm.

  Eli took a step back, fully aware they had an audience. “I’ll send Smitty by. Meanwhile, fill up with water.” He tipped his hat and walked away. She was hell bent on causing him trouble, and he wasn’t sure why.

  He walked over to Smitty’s fire and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I have a problem.”

  “And how. You have a dozy of a problem with red hair and blue eyes. She’s fixated on you and she doesn’t care who gets hurt. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t been dropped on her head as a child.” He scratched his beard and then shook his head. I’ll handle any problems she has. You try to duck when you see her. I heard tell she told your little gal, she was having relations with you. I’ve seen Amy look like she’s dying inside little by little. The spark in her eyes has dulled. She’d been told by her parents she was nothing of value, and now the widow is saying the same thing. It’s just not right.”

  “Amy doesn’t want to talk to me.” Eli shrugged as his stomach clenched.

  “That sweet girl loves you, Eli. You can see it in her eyes whenever you’re together. I did notice she isn’t wearing the ring you bought for her. Did she take it off?”

  Eli took of his hat and slapped it against his thigh. “I never gave it to her. How could I be so stupid? I need to go check on her. Thanks for the talk, Smitty.”

  “Any time.”

  He walked to his wagon and was surprised to see Amy carrying two buckets of water. He quickly relieved her of her burden and easily carried them into camp. “Where do you want the water?”

  “In the wash tub. Why don’t you put on something clean while I wash what you’re wearing?” She busied herself getting her clothes sorted for washing.

  “You don’t have to do that you know,” he said softly.

  She kept her back to him. “I know, but for now I’m your wife. I don’t mind. I’m used to keeping busy.”

  “What about bathing in the river? Do you have a plan for that?”

  She stiffened. “I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about me.”

  He stepped close to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “I do worry about you.” He turned her so they were facing each other. “You come first, Amy. I don’t care what the widow has been saying, none of it is true. It seems to me she’s either delusional or she’s hell bent on making trouble. I’ll be back for supper, and then we’ll talk about that bath.” He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on her lips then left before she could protest.

  He smiled as he walked away. It was a start.

  Amelia touched her lips and her heart squeezed. She was too naive to play games with Belva and Eli. She didn’t know where to begin. Besides she’d come out the loser.

  “You’re certainly a forgiving one, aren’t you?” Cheryl asked.

  Amelia inwardly groaned. “I don’t have time to talk with you, Cheryl. I have laundry to do.”

  “He’s playing you for a fool. I don’t know why I bother, you never listen to me.” She spun on her heel and left.

  Good riddance! Why Cheryl would even try to give her a friendly warning was beyond her. Maybe Cheryl didn’t like Belva. Amelia sighed and put them all out of her mind. The clothes wouldn’t clean themselves. She got busy and washed everything. She even had time to wash down the inside of the wagon. It would be filled with dust in no time, but she felt better for cleaning it. The only thing not clean was herself. It was getting dark. A few of the women walked by in a group and one of the women stopped.

  “For a cripple, you really get things done. It’s a shame, you are pretty but the only thing I see when I look at you is your limp. Have a nice night.” The woman named Anita hurried to catch up with the others.

  Amelia heard some faint laughter, but it didn’t touch her, not in the same way she’d been hurt by Eli. But Anita did have a point. Her limp was the first thing people noticed about her, and she bet Eli kicked himself for marrying her every time he saw her walk. She climbed into the wagon and grabbed the book Smitty lent to her. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. She’d read a few pages and found it to be very exciting reading.

  She was so engrossed she almost jumped when Eli walked into the firelight. He had an armful of wood in his arms. “I’m going to gather more and then take you to the creek.”

  “No wood where we’re going?”

  He shook his head. “We’ll use Smitty’s fire to conserve. One of his wagons has a stock of wood in it. I’ll be right back.”

  She continued to read for a while but put the book away after he put more wood into the wagon. She grabbed her nightgown, the soap, and a towel. “Do you need a towel?” She covered her mouth with her hand. That wasn’t an invitation to bathe with her, was it?

  “No, I’ll bathe after I get you back here safe and sound.” He grabbed her waist and lifted her down leaving his hands in place for a very long moment.

  “We’d best get to it.” She led the way.

  “Do you like the book?”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “Very much so. It’s quite different from anything I’ve read before. It’s full of adventure. Imagine being maroo
ned on an island.”

  “Cheryl made it sound as though you were barely educated.”

  She shrugged. “I know more than some, less than others. I learned quickly, and she didn’t know how to teach me more. She refused to allow me to go to school, so I begged some books from the town teacher and read them whenever I had an unsupervised moment.”

  “You have a lot of determination.”

  “You don’t like that about me, do you?” She stopped at the edge of the creek.

  “Why would you think that?” He held the towel up so she could take her dress off.

  She stripped down to her chemise and hurried into the water. “I don’t know. I have the feeling there are a lot of things about me you don’t like.”

  “I bet there are too!” A woman’s voice called out from up the creek.

  “Don’t listen to her,” Eli murmured.

  In silence, Amelia washed herself and then she hurried out of the water. Eli wrapped her in the towel, grabbed her clothes and gown, and carried her to the wagon. She was beyond tired, both physically and mentally. It had all been too much, and she felt herself shutting down.

  Eli set her in the wagon. “I’m going to take my bath. I’ll be back.”

  She simply nodded. Perhaps Cheryl had been right to keep her on the farm. It did protect her from those who enjoyed hurting others. She dried off and drew her gown over her head.

  “Amelia?” Lynn Downey called.

  Amelia stuck her head out of the wagon. “What’s wrong?”

  “The Hendersons have both taken ill. Can you come and stay with the boys? I’d ask Smitty, but I’m going to need his help.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  Lynn smiled. “I knew I could count on you.” She hurried away.

  At least the group of boys would keep her mind off her troubles. She dressed and hurried to the Downey wagon. It amazed her that all the boys fit inside. Of course, they were probably used to worse conditions. Carlos and Juan had blossomed under Lynn’s care. It was nice to see. They all smiled when she climbed in. They each told stories to impress her, until little Will asked her if Belva was going to be her sister. All the boys stared at her waiting for an answer.

  “Not that I know of.” She kept a smile on her face.

  She waited for more but that’s all he said. “It’s getting late and we have a long day ahead of ourselves tomorrow. Why don’t we all try to get some shut eye?”

  It took a bit to get them all settled down but finally they drifted off. She tried not to examine what Little Will meant by his question. It made no sense but Will must have seen or heard something. She wondered if Eli missed her. Shaking her head, she silently berated herself for thinking about him at all.

  Her sister indeed! She shook her head as her stomach dropped. What if he got Belva with child? Her whole body tensed, and she couldn’t get it to relax. She was glad when Lynn returned. Amelia quickly made it to her wagon and tried to sleep, but the sister thing kept her up most of the night. She needed to do whatever was needed to get Eli out of her heart.

  The days went on, hot, sticky, dusty, one disgruntled day after another. Amelia didn’t see much of Eli. Their paths would cross at mealtime around Smitty’s fire, but he looked so tired and he was eerily calm. The kind of calm that often happened before a storm. It was as if he would explode at any given moment. Even Jed, who was usually cheerful, was getting grouchy.

  Eli had too much on his plate, and she wasn’t going to add her problems for him to bear. He would grab her hand in passing and give it a squeeze, but he didn’t kiss her. It was harder than she thought to be a wife in name only. Everywhere she turned, people were complaining and fighting. They were more than halfway, and according to Jed, a few had run out of water. No one had sympathy for those who hadn’t used their water wisely.

  She was glad she wasn’t in charge. How do one decide who got water and who didn’t? Then there were those who hadn’t taken good care of their livestock and more than one ox had to be put down. Nothing went to waste, though, not even the oxen meat.

  Eli had rigged a tarp to shield her from the sun. She often read or knitted sitting under it. Finally, one day he sat down under it with her. Her heart began to flutter. She’d missed him more than she wanted to admit.

  “This is the only shade for miles around.” He smiled. “How are you? I haven’t had much of a chance to talk to you. Mostly I watch you when I can to see how you’re faring. You’ve lost weight, but you don’t have that beat down look about you. In fact, you’ve been the only one who hasn’t asked something of me.

  “I know you’re busy. Besides, I’m self-sufficient but it’s nice to know you’ve been watching over me.” She couldn’t help the smile that played on her lips. He hadn’t been near the widow as far as she could tell. It was a great relief, yet there were still doubts in her mind she couldn’t erase. She had a feeling it would always be that way.

  “See all the clean people? They’re the ones without drinking water. What’s more important than drinking water? Sometimes I don’t think people use the brains God gave them. I don’t mind making the adults suffer a bit but the children need water. I always make sure there’s extra in the supply wagons Smitty and Rex drive, but they’re under strict rationing orders. The Smalls tried to swap out their empty water barrel with the Weatherford’s practically full one.” He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “There was a call for a hanging. We still have about ten more days.”

  “I must have missed all the excitement.”

  Eli chuckled. “I wish I could have. The best part of my day is seeing you. You soothe my soul with your smile. I know I haven’t been able to spend time with you, but I’ve wanted to. Usually going along this part of the Snake River I just do my job and get as ornery as anyone. But this time I’m impatient to spend my nights with you. Knowing you’re here is a balm to my heart.”

  “It’s hard to drive by the river and not be able to reach it. I didn’t know we would be so high up on these cliffs.”

  Eli nodded. “The Snake River winds its way through all types of landscapes. We’ll enjoy it after we push through. It is a bit maddening to be thirsty and to be able to see the river so far down that it’s unobtainable.”

  “How are the animals faring? Mine seem fine with the little bit of water I give them.”

  Eli took her hand. “That’s because you’re smart and you care. You took great care of the Cruthers’ oxen, but I guess once you left they didn’t know what to do. They didn’t ask for help. I have a feeling those animals will drop soon enough. Ours are fine thanks to you. I wish I’d been more help the last few days.”

  She squeezed his hand. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

  He turned his head and stared at her. “Amy?”

  She looked right back at him. “Yes?”

  “If you really think about the type of man I am, I think you’ll come to the conclusion that the rumors about me have no foundation. I find it interesting Mrs. Cruthers was the first to spread the vile untruth. Somehow, she got the Widow Hawkins to go along with her. I don’t know why, but Amy, I’m a man of my word.” He dropped his hand, leaned in and kissed her.

  It was the lightest, sweetest kiss ever, and he lingered just long enough to make her want a little more. When he pulled away, she met his gaze and saw the truth in them. “Oh, Eli…” Her lip quivered. “I’m sorry I believed that woman.”

  Eli smiled. “Heck, she had me half believing her, she was so convincing. We’ll be just fine. I’m hoping we can find our way back to each other. My heart cries out for yours, and it hurts knowing yours isn’t replying.”

  She moved so fast that she was sitting on his lap facing him. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him into a hug. “Do you feel my heart beating?”

  He nodded.

  “It’s answering your cry. I want you back sleeping in our wagon.”

  He rubbed her back up and down. “I will when I can. Like I said, it’s been
one thing after another these days, but I want you to know you’re always on my mind.”

  Her face heated as joy spread through her. “I hope to see you tonight.”

  “Me too, my sweet wife. But I’d better get back to work.” After kissing her cheek he got up and started to walk away but paused and glanced over his shoulder, smiling at her before he continued on.

  Not long after, Bess Otter rounded the corner of the wagon with her knitting in her hands. “Mind if I use some of your shade?”

  “Of course, come and sit down. That sun is unrelenting. How are you?” Amelia began to wonder about the preacher’s wife. She was the one who’d told her about the widow. Did she really believe it or…

  “Robinson Crusoe! I wouldn’t dare read it. The pastor says it has half naked men in it.” Bess’s eyes were so wide with belief, Amelia wanted to laugh.

  “Actually, I’m at a part where he makes his own clothes. There aren’t any on a deserted island. How have you been?”

  “I’m fine. You’ve been suffering through the same heat we have. People are begging us for water. I suppose they think since Stan is a pastor he should share what little we have for ourselves. It’s been hard on him to say no.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  Bess shook her head. “I think they took the cleanliness is next to Godliness a bit too seriously. I think God would understand the situation.”

  Amelia laughed. “I know it’s not funny but it’s the best laugh I’ve had in days.”

  Bess reached out and patted Amelia’s hand. “It’s been hard on you. If I hadn’t seen it the other night with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it of Eli. He seemed to be a good man full of integrity. But you’ve been handling it better than I would have.”

  Bess knitted in silence while Amelia pretended to read. Finally, Amelia couldn’t stand not knowing. “What night was this?”

  “Why it was two nights ago. He didn’t stay very long, but Cheryl told me he usually stays much longer. I just happened to stay up later than usual when I saw him.”