“Okay,” he grunted when Rhys reached his side. “There’ll be times you have to lift and attach Bosch to me—”
“I’ve worked with K9 teams before,” Rhys broke in. “I’m an 18-Delta medic, too, so I have vet training. You and Bosch are in good hands.”
If he’d been anyone other than Lani’s ex, Geo probably would’ve indulged in a brief fantasy of the gorgeous Rhys’s hands literally being on him, but under the circumstances, he could hardly keep a snarl from twisting his lips.
Jesus, where the fuck is this coming from? I don’t have any claims on her!
Sucking in a deep breath, Geo pushed Lani back into her designated mental box.
“Okay, Bosch. Let’s show this fucking Mullet asshole what’s what.”
“Amen,” Rhys muttered, and then they were off.
Bosch ran easily next to them as they navigated the different apparatus. He crawled when they crawled, and jumped over the lower obstacles with ease. When it was time for Geo to climb, he waited as Rhys lifted the dog up and hooked him to Geo’s chest harness.
Bosch hung calmly as Geo climbed up a metal ladder, then attached a cam to the thirty-foot rope and slid back down. The whole time Rhys stayed next to him, and as the course went on, they slowly meshed into one smoothly operating unit.
When they crossed the finish line, Geo couldn’t help but reach out for a knuckle bump. “Good work, swim buddy.”
“Thanks.” Rhys’s face was attractively flushed and glistening with sweat. “I wish Devon—my girlfriend—could’ve been here. She would love this.”
Devon? Why did that name sound familiar?
“She’s a badass in her own right,” Rhys went on. “This would be right up her alley.”
Ah, Devon! The CST Matt mentioned. She was Rhys’s girlfriend?
In an instant, the stupid jealousy melted away, and Geo shot him a more genuine smile. “Hey, if you wanted to bring her out sometime, we can do this all over again.”
A bemused expression crossed Rhys’s face in response to Geo’s change in attitude, but all he said was, “Awesome.”
As the guys sprawled about with water and Gatorade to take a break, Bradley approached Geo. “Impressive demo,” he said admiringly. “I can’t even imagine how many hours of training that’s taken you.”
“Bosch and I have been together for years.”
Bradley asked about their previous deployments, his interest gratifyingly sincere. They were deep into talking shop when Mullet suddenly interrupted, “You were in Kalach? Oruzgan Province? Isn’t that the outpost where the dude offed himself?”
Geo stiffened as Mullet went on, “I heard that guy was one crazy mofo. Unraveling in plain sight, and no one did jack shit about it.”
“That’s an unfair judgment.” Rhys’s voice was mild, but his eyes were like chips of ice. “Suicide deaths are very complex. His teammates weren’t responsible...”
“Bullshit.” Mullet rolled to the side and spat in the sand. “Someone’s fuckin’ crazy enough to kill themselves, those dudes shoulda seen it.” He shrugged. “Guess they figured they were all better off just lettin’ him do it.”
A bolt of white-hot anger shot through Geo. “Why don’t you shut the fuck up?” he growled. “You weren’t there.”
“Were you?” Mullet sat up, a prurient curiosity in his gaze. When he read the answer on Geo’s face, he smirked. “Ah. Was the tough love part your idea? Solved your problem, didn’t it?”
A red haze descended over Geo’s eyes, and he lunged, but Rhys was ready for him, his arms wrapping tightly around Geo’s shoulders. “Don’t give this asshole the satisfaction,” he said urgently. “Your teammate wouldn’t want this.”
Across the way, Mullet had surged to his feet and was beckoning to him, his lips twisted in a mocking grin. “Got a lesson you wanna teach me, dog boy?” he taunted. “Don’t worry. I promise not to kill myself after.”
With a howl of rage and pain, Geo fought against his bonds, dimly aware of Shane dragging Mullet out of reach, both fists twisted in the back of his shirt. “Get out of here, you colossal prick,” he snarled, shoving Mullet into the arms of his buddies, who hustled him away, their faces red with embarrassment.
The remaining guys stared at the ground, at the sky, anywhere but at Geo, discomfort written all over them. Fighting back sudden tears, and with a strength born of desperation, he wrenched away from Rhys, snatched up Bosch’s leash and strode off in the opposite direction.
Rhys and Matt appeared to walk next to him, silent while he wrestled for control. At the kennels, they leaned against the wall as he brushed Bosch’s fur clean of sand and fed him some kibble, their quiet, supportive presence along with the routine of caring for his dog bleeding away Geo’s tension and leaving a leaden sadness behind.
Back outside in the parking lot, he waved toward his bike. “That’s me. I’m gonna take off.”
“Geo...” Rhys moved around in front of him. “I don’t think you should ride right now. Please, let me drop you somewhere.”
Geo met his eyes, the empathy in them sparking fresh tears. “I’m okay,” he said thickly. “But thanks, though.”
“You don’t seem okay.” Rhys’s voice was soft. “And believe me, I know something about what you’re going through.”
Of course he did. He’d been the one to find Tyler, like Geo’d been the one to find Cade...
He shook his head, and Rhys rested a hand on his shoulder. “Let me at least put you in touch with a friend of mine, okay? She’s a suicide survivor and has recently started counseling. Her name is—”
“Oh, I’m already talking to someone,” Geo broke in hastily before Rhys could go any further. “I’m going to see her now.”
Rhys still looked troubled. “I don’t think you should ride,” he said with quiet insistence. “I’ll be happy to take you over to your friend’s.”
At the thought, an almost-hysterical laugh bubbled up in Geo’s throat. How would Rhys react upon being directed to Lani’s apartment? Was he a possessive ex? A protective one? Geo didn’t think he wanted to find out. Not now, not when things were so new and tentative with Lani, when the last thing he’d ever want to do was upset her.
So Geo dredged up a smile. “I swear I’ll be fine, and if I do end up smearing myself over the I-5, I absolve you of all responsibility, okay?”
Rhys flinched. “Not funny, man.” With a resigned sigh, he stepped aside, and Geo nodded.
“I appreciate the concern, I really do.” He grunted. “And if you ever wanted to give Mullet a swift kick in the ass—”
“Oh, I look for those opportunities on a daily basis,” Rhys assured him. “I fuckin’ hate that guy.”
Straddling his bike, Geo yanked his helmet on and fired it up. He peeled out, Rhys and Matt watching helplessly as he roared away. Geo weaved in and out of traffic, speeding, taking reckless chances, welcome waves of adrenaline spurring him on.
He clenched his teeth so hard they throbbed. Would it really matter if one of the cars got lucky and took him out?
Downshifting, Geo leaned into the next curve, whipping past cars as if they were standing still. Faster, and faster, he accelerated again, anger toward Mullet, Cade, himself, blurring his vision and tightening his chest.
Who cares if I crash? Who’ll miss me? Who gives a shit?
Right then, his phone rang. Punching the Bluetooth, he croaked, “Yeah?”
“Hey, it’s me.” Lani’s soft voice cut through the chaos in his head. “I was about to run to the grocery store. Is there anything in particular you don’t like?”
In an instant, he snapped back to reality. What the fuck was he doing, taking chances like this? Slowing to a more manageable speed, Geo took the next exit off the freeway.
“Geo?” Now she sounded anxious. “You there? Is everything all right?”
No. Not
hing was okay.
“Yeah,” he grunted. “It’s fine.”
“You don’t sound fine. Do you need me to come get you?”
“No.” Geo exhaled, long and slow. “In fact, I’m here.” His heart gave a giant leap as he roared into the parking lot and saw her running down the stairs to meet him. He killed the engine and pulled off his helmet as she hurried over, her gaze searching his face.
Doing his best to smooth out his expression, Geo called, “I’m fine.”
God, he was such an asshole for upsetting her, after everything she’d been through.
He’d just opened his mouth to say he’d changed his mind about staying with her, that it’d probably be best if he went back to his room, when she reached his side and took his hand.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” she said with a squeeze.
And suddenly, there was nowhere he’d rather be.
* * *
“I, uh, met Rhys today.”
Geo held his breath when Lani glanced at him before carefully setting down the cantaloupe she was inspecting. “Really? Where?”
He told her about the impromptu demonstration at the O-course, and Rhys’s volunteering to be his swim buddy. “He seems like a good dude.”
“He’s the best.” She smiled. “And I’m sure he enjoyed working with Bosch. Rhys has always loved dogs.”
There wasn’t any longing in her voice or on her face, just a fondness, a touch of nostalgia that flitted by and was gone.
Relaxing slightly, and wondering why her residual feelings for Rhys should even matter, Geo asked, “You guys never had one?”
She started pushing the shopping cart again. “Nah. Those first few years, we moved around so much, and I worked so many nights. It didn’t seem fair to get a dog.”
“Why bartending?” he asked curiously, suddenly wanting to know everything about her. What had been her hopes, and dreams, all the things that’d become secondary the moment Rhys entered the special operations pipeline?
“It was practical.” She shrugged, confirming his suspicions. “Every time I got a job, and got settled, it was time to move again. I eventually realized I needed something that I could get quickly, and could get anywhere, so I took a bartending course.”
“Do you like it?”
“I do. It’s not something I want to do long-term, though, so I’m thinking about other options.”
“Such as?”
“Not sure yet. I’m figuring things out one day at a time.” With a grin, she bumped him with her hip. “Prioritize and assess, right?”
“Right.” He bumped her back. “Now all I gotta do is get you exercising, and then you’re practically a SEAL, like it or not.”
She rolled her eyes. “Ha ha. Not gonna happen.”
They bantered and bickered as they wandered the brightly lit aisles of the grocery store.
“You sure learn a lot about someone from their food choices,” she commented at one point, glaring at the frozen dinners Geo’d piled up on one side of the cart.
“What?” He propped his hands on his hips. “I don’t know how to cook, and I certainly don’t expect you to do it all.”
“Well, I’m happy to teach you. It’s not hard to learn how to make simple, healthy, filling meals.”
“How’d you learn?” Geo took over pushing the cart, and almost absently, Lani threaded her arm through his.
“My dad, mostly, although my mom liked to cook, too. I loved those Saturdays, when we’d go to the farmers’ market, and then come home loaded down with produce, meats and cheeses. Sometimes he’d let Tyler and me have a tiny splash of French wine while we all worked together.”
“Tyler was there?” Geo spoke softly as to not break the spell of her memories.
“Oh, yeah. His specialty was nilagang baka, a Filipino beef stew he learned from my Lola. So good.” She inhaled deeply, as if still smelling it. “We’d play music really loud, and talk about anything and everything—politics, spirituality, sex. My dad used to say that preparing and eating a meal together is one of the oldest, most simple rituals we have. Those Saturdays definitely brought us closer as a family.”
And yet Tyler’s suicide had still come as a complete shock, even to the ones who knew him best.
For the first time, Geo caught a glimpse of the magnitude of that shock, and how, like an earthquake, it’d shaken Lani’s life off its secure foundation and sent her plummeting into a well of pain, neediness and confusion.
Geo glanced at her, unable to keep from marveling at how far she’d come in the few months he’d known her. The brittle, emotional woman of that first night in the bar had been replaced by one of quiet strength and calm understanding, a woman who could show up for a friend in crisis and know exactly what he needed. A woman who—in being there for that friend—was forced to confront her own pain, her own trauma, again, but wasn’t letting it control her anymore.
A true survivor.
His eyes started to burn. I don’t want to just endure this, because I don’t know how long I’ll be able to. I want to survive it, too.
“If I go to your group,” he said roughly, “I won’t talk, okay? I’ll just listen.”
He heard her tiny intake of breath.
“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to, Geo.” Her voice was hushed. “And yes, sometimes just listening is the best therapy.”
She gazed up at him with those beautiful gold-flecked eyes, and almost helplessly Geo bent his head to brush his lips against hers. They caught, and lingered, the plush heat of her mouth sending a delicious shiver down his spine.
His need was reflected back at him in her slightly flushed cheeks and the pulse beating visibly in the hollow of her throat. “I’ve never made out in a grocery store before,” she whispered. “It’s, uh, sorta hot.”
Sliding his hands onto her hips, he backed her up against the dairy case. “Yeah? Does the skim milk turn you on, baby?” he leered, loving how she dissolved into laughter.
She glanced around. “It’s all this...heavy cream,” she hissed. “I can’t control myself.”
It was hard to kiss a woman who kept snickering, but Geo managed a few decent ones, decent enough that when a dry “Excuse me” from behind broke them apart, he had to keep his back turned for a moment until his body calmed down.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Lani exclaimed to whomever had spoken. “We were just goofing off.”
“Y’all are so darn cute, I really hate to interrupt, but I need to grab this and get home.”
The female voice was familiar. So familiar, in fact, that Geo’s blood instantly turned to ice.
It can’t be her. Oh, God, please don’t let it be her.
“Geo? You okay?” Lani’s innocent question caused the woman to suck in a sharp breath.
“Geo? Oh, my God. George? Is that you?”
Steeling himself, his heart beating so hard he felt sick, Geo turned around. The woman clapped a hand to her mouth.
“It is you,” she breathed. “Geo...”
He was surprised by the strength of her hug, the genuine pleasure she seemed to find in seeing him.
You should hate me. Why don’t you hate me?
While he stood there mutely, wrestling with his agonized thoughts, the woman turned to Lani and held out her hand. “I’m Renae Barlow,” she said. “Geo’s an old friend. It’s so lovely to meet you.”
Lani smiled and introduced herself, but her eyes asked Geo the one question he dreaded answering: Barlow?
The wave of pain coursing through him almost knocked him down.
Renae Barlow. Cade’s wife.
Chapter Sixteen
“I didn’t know what to say to her.”
Lani wanted to shout her relief at Geo’s muttered words. He’d been silent all through paying for their groceries, the drive home and lu
gging them upstairs. Resisting the urge to press him to talk, she’d clamped her tongue firmly between her teeth and waited him out.
Now she was careful to keep her voice neutral. “You haven’t seen her in a while?”
“Not since Dover.” He stopped in the middle of unloading one of the bags, his knuckles clenched white around a can of stewed tomatoes. “I’m the one who escorted him home.”
“Oh, Geo. That must have been so incredibly difficult,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Having to escort the body of his friend all the way from Afghanistan to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware would’ve been a solitary, emotional task in and of itself. Then to be confronted with Cade’s horror-stricken and grieving wife...
“I’m going for a run.” Abruptly handing her the can of tomatoes, Geo disappeared in the direction of the bathroom, and Lani stared after him, wrestling with indecision.
She knew the run would calm and exhaust him. By the time he got back, he’d be locked down tight as a drum again. Frustration burned its way through her. He’d finally cracked open the door, so now all she needed to do was find a way in.
But how?
A sudden lightbulb went off in her head, and she shoved the rest of the perishables into the fridge before dashing to the bedroom to exchange her sandals for sneakers.
When Geo emerged, dressed in his running gear, she was waiting for him, bottle of water in hand.
He stared at her. “What’s this?”
“Going with you. A run sounds good.”
Eyeing her floral sundress, hoodie and tiny cross-body purse, he said skeptically, “You’re going running like that? The woman who hates exercise?”
She winked. “First time for everything, right? Actually, I’ll walk and carry the water.”
To her satisfaction, he didn’t argue, just went into his warm-up stretches on the porch while she locked the door.
“There’s a cute little business district to the north of here,” she said. “I walk over that way sometimes when I can’t sleep. Nice quiet streets, no traffic. That’s where I’ll be, okay?” As she passed him on the stairs, she reached out and squeezed his arm. “Have a nice run.”
Trusting a Warrior Page 20
