Impractical Magic

by M. J. O'Shea

  “HEY, KEV.” Fen’s heart didn’t race quite like it had the first few times Kevin had called, but still it made him feel all fluttery.

  “Hi.”

  “Umm, yeah. Hi.”

  They had this little ritual that they seemed to do every time. Both of them kind of stuttered and didn’t know what to say for about thirty seconds, then the floodgates would open and everything would be back to normal. Fen would’ve thought the nerves would go away—Kevin and he talked most nights now—but they didn’t. It was nice, though, and he and Kevin never ran out of things to talk about. Kevin had even gotten to the point where he was comfortable joking about Laura Katherine’s crush on him, which hadn’t gone away since he told her he had a boyfriend, but had evolved. She still flirted with him, and seemed a lot more comfortable touching him, but she also seemed to know it wasn’t going anywhere. He didn’t mind as long as things stayed on the good side of awkward.

  “What’d ya do today?” Kevin asked.

  “Not much. Uh, still recovering from last weekend, to be honest.”

  Jeremy, Rory, and Ben, as a surprise, had taken him out for his thirtieth birthday. He’d been a little depressed, but he’d had so much fun, and so many tequila shots, that it was kind of easy to let it go. He still felt old whenever he thought about it. He was thirty.

  Kevin snickered. “Can’t hold your alcohol anymore, old man?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Hey, you looked super hot that night. I’m sorry I missed it.” He’d sent Kevin a few very drunk texts and pictures that made him cringe after the fact, but Kevin had responded to say he wished he’d been there to give Kevin birthday kisses… and a few other things. Fen’d had to wrestle his phone away from Ben before the whole bar got a dramatic reading of their conversation.

  “I’m sorry you missed it too.”

  “Speaking of visiting….”

  “Yeah?” Fen’s pulse flipped into high gear just like that at the idea of Kevin anywhere near him and his hands.

  “My sister and I were thinking of driving up to have Thanksgiving with my uncle’s family. Mom and Dad are going on a cruise this year and my grandparents live closer to Chico than San Diego.”

  “O-oh. That would be nice.” Fen didn’t hear anything in that plan that included Kevin in his bed. He hoped, though. Desperately.

  “And, well, you know I wouldn’t have anything to do on Friday. Or Saturday. I thought maybe if you were going to be in town you wouldn’t mind entertaining me.” Kevin’s voice sounded shy, like he didn’t quite have the right to ask. Fen couldn’t answer quickly enough.

  “I think I could definitely do that,” he squeaked out. He saw flashes of naked skin and sweat and Kevin’s smile, felt the ghost of his kisses, remembered his warm scent. All of a sudden, the two weeks to Thanksgiving seemed like an eternity. “I’m not going to Michigan.”

  “You aren’t going to have, like, a date for that weekend are you?”

  What the hell kind of question was that? “Of course not. I’d have told you if I did. I’m just doing dinner with the guys and their parents. And Beaver’s on Friday night.”

  “I miss Beaver’s too.”

  Fen had a flash of horror. “Uh, you know you’re gonna have to meet Ben.” He hoped like hell that Ben would behave for once in his damn life. Not likely.

  “I get to meet the famous Ben? I’m looking forward to it after all the hype.”

  “You say that now.”

  Kevin laughed. “I’m a tough guy. I can handle it.”

  “Wow. So you’re coming.”

  “I am.” Fen didn’t miss the double meaning in his words.

  “You are. Yeah,” he mumbled.

  “Then I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks?”

  Fen couldn’t freaking wait.

  Chapter 13

  THANKSGIVING MORNING, aka five hundred freaking years since the phone call where Kevin said he was coming to visit, dawned cloudy and chilly. Fen couldn’t care less. He hummed around his apartment, rolling out crusts for pies and chopping vegetables for the gratin he’d been tasked to bring. Thanksgiving was going to be big this year. Everyone had decided to stay in town, and Ben was coming in for the weekend. Their little crew, plus Jeremy’s wife and her parents, and even Ben’s mom and Rory’s parents, were all going to convene at Jeremy’s house for dinner. Fen was used to his huge family back east, so he was excited to cook for so many friends. He was even more excited for later… later when dinner was over, and he was home and he’d have Kevin in his bed. It seemed surreal, that they’d be able to touch and kiss, and it had been months, and Fen wasn’t even sure how he was going to handle it. Too much. Not enough. Just perfect.

  He called his mom to wish her and their family a happy Thanksgiving around noon, just before he needed to get dressed and head over to Jeremy’s place. He assured her that he was going to come home for Christmas and he wasn’t deserting her for his “west coast friends,” as she always called them, like the people in California were somehow a little less real.

  Fen was chuckling when he jumped in the shower to wash his hair. Kevin’s going to be in this shower tonight. When he looked at his bed, he swallowed hard. He’s going to be in this bed too.

  He couldn’t wait. But he was nervous too. He’d been nervous the first time, about the physical stuff and what it might mean about who he was, but this was different. They’d talked so much, so many hours about big things and little things, the stuff they were too busy making out all summer to say. Back in August, he thought he knew Kevin pretty well. It was nothing compared to how well he knew him now. And taking him to bed, which Fen one hundred percent planned to do, would mean different things after all the talking. More things. And that’s what made him nervous.

  DINNER WAS raucous, of course, and fun. Also, of course, Ben gave him a huge tacklehug the moment he walked in the door, like it had been months since they’d seen each other rather than weeks.

  “Hey, man.” Fen squeezed back. He wasn’t going to turn down free hugs even if they were a bit over the top. “You’re gonna have to let me go so I can go out and get the pies.”

  “More pies?” Ben’s face lit up. “I’ll come help.”

  Fen waved a greeting to Jeremy’s wife, Delia, and dragged Ben out to his car.

  “Where’s Kevin? I thought he was going to be here this weekend?” Ben asked.

  “With his family. I think they might be annoyed if he ditched them for us.”

  “But I want to meet him.”

  Fen wished he wasn’t just a tiny bit apprehensive about that. “You will, tomorrow night.” He turned and poked a finger into Ben’s chest. “Behave.”

  “When have I ever not behaved?” Ben asked.

  “The answer to that is too long to say out loud. I’d have to write another master’s thesis.”

  “Shut up.” Ben hip-checked Fen hard.

  “Hey, the pies!” He was lucky he had a good grip on them or both pies would’ve been on the ground.

  Ben grinned at him. “Sorry.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “You missed me.”

  “Of course.”

  THEY MANAGED to make it back into the house, zero pies on the ground and both of them fully intact. It was some sort of miracle. Fen handed out hugs to Ben’s mom, Delia, and Regina, shook hands with Rory’s dad, and was dragged into the den where the football game was on but being completely ignored by Jeremy and Rory. They’d started a game of poker. The four of them hadn’t played since LA.

  “Are we betting?” Fen asked. He reached for his wallet.

  “Nah, this is just for fun. We’ll bet after dinner.”

  “But I won’t be here after dinner.”

  Ben elbowed him. “Your choice is poker or getting laid. Hmmmm.”

  “In that case, why are you going to be here after dinner?” Fen asked him.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” Rory muttered.

  “Babe. Our parents are here.”

&n
bsp; “I know.” He sighed. “You’ll just have to make it up to me tomorrow morning in the—”

  “No.” Jeremy made a cutting motion across his throat. “Stop. Now.”

  Ben, Rory, and even Fen burst into laughter.

  “It’s so easy to get you, man,” Ben said. He threw his arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. “I’ve missed this.”

  FEN MADE it home about fifteen minutes before Kevin was supposed to show up. He hadn’t eaten much at dinner, even though it was nice to see his friends, people he’d come to think of as family. His belly was too nervous and he was way too excited. More excited than he remembered being about anything in a long time. Or ever. Maybe he would’ve been excited about the first round of Kevin if he’d known it was coming. Or maybe if he’d known back then how he would feel when Kevin left in August, how he felt every time they had to hang up, he might have run for the hills.

  His friends had given him the appropriate amount of parent-friendly shit at dinner, but they’d let him leave with only a few laughs, some fairly obvious eyebrow wiggles, and the explicit promise that he and Kevin wouldn’t ditch out on Beaver’s, so Ben could officially approve of Kevin.

  “If you try to get out of it, we’re going to come drag you out of bed, naked or not” was Ben’s threat. Fen figured he’d probably do it too.

  He’d barely had time to run around the house, light a candle or two, and shove the dishes he’d used that morning into the dishwasher before Kevin was knocking on the door.

  Fen grinned. “I left the door unlocked like I said. You don’t have to knock bab—uh… hi?” Definitely not Kevin, but damn, he could see the resemblance. “Jani, right?”

  “Yep.” She gave him the same sunny smile he’d seen about a million times. There was something else underneath it, though. Mischief, maybe. Hard to tell. “I’m dropping my brother off. He’ll be up in a little bit. I told him I required at least thirty seconds of grilling time.”

  Grilling time, wow. Fen hadn’t ever done the meet-the-family thing, so it might be interesting. Interesting in a get-me-out-of-here-right-now kind of way. He moved out from in front of the door.

  “O-okay. Come in.”

  She giggled at him. “I’m kidding, you know. I’m harmless, mostly. Do you have any coffee? My aunt’s on this antioxidant kick and she’s against caffeine right now. Or something. I’m about to fall asleep.”

  “Sure. I can make coffee.” He gestured to the table. “Have a seat.”

  Jani was a lot like her brother, with the same big grin, smooth golden skin—although hers was quite a bit fairer—and that easy way about her that made it seem like she’d fit in pretty much anywhere.

  “Do you want some pie with the coffee? I have some pumpkin and some pecan left over. I have vanilla ice cream too.”

  “Yesss, oh my God, I love you. My aunt made a gluten-free crust. Such bullshit.”

  “Jani. Language.”

  Fen froze.

  “You’re not mom and I’m eighteen,” she grumbled.

  Kevin. Kevinkevinkevin…. All it took was his voice and Fen’s pulse raced hard and fast and pounding through his body.

  “I’m in charge of you here,” he told his sister as he came around the corner with his old familiar duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He looked so good. His hair had grown a little bit, and curled up on the ends even more than it had before. He had on jeans and a cable knit sweater, and Fen wanted to curl into him and wrap himself up and never let go.

  “Please,” Jani said. Fen didn’t need to look to know she’d rolled her eyes. Hard. He heard it in her voice. It sounded so much like his own sister he had to laugh.

  Kevin didn’t even look at his sister, just stared at Fen until Fen almost had to look away. “Hey,” he said quietly.

  “Hi.” Fen nearly giggled. His whole body was reaching across the table. He wanted to touch him so badly.

  Fen thought Jani might have swooned. “I was so not ready for how cute you two would be together.”

  “We’re not—”

  “Jan—”

  They both tried to speak at once.

  Jani held her hands up. “You’re cute. That’s all I was saying. Can I use your restroom?”

  Fen nodded and pointed down the hall. As soon as Jani was out of the room, Kevin was around the table and in his arms. Fen groaned.

  “You still smell good,” he said quietly.

  “You still feel amazing,” Kevin answered.

  They stood there quietly, just breathing, until Jani made a reappearance. “Coffee and pie? Ice cream?” she asked. Her little face looked so hopeful, Fen hated to kick her out just so he could get Kevin naked.

  “Yeah, have a seat and I’ll get it ready.”

  He put out milk and his one flavored creamer, and brought plates and pie and the tub of ice cream to the table. It was fun to watch Jani and Kevin tease each other and fight over the biggest slice of pie. Fen didn’t say much, but he didn’t feel like an outsider. Instead he felt like it would be nice to be a part of them. They were a lot like what he had at home, and sometimes he missed his sister, Mellie, and his parents more than he wanted to admit.

  “IT WAS nice to meet you,” Jani said when she was leaving. She gave Fen a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you Sunday morning, bro. Not too late. It’ll take forever to get home with all the holiday traffic.”

  “I’ll be ready by nine,” Kevin said. He’d already slung his arms over Fen’s shoulders, like it was no big deal for his sister to see him all cuddled up with a guy. Fen supposed in their world it was no big deal. He couldn’t imagine that happening at home.

  “Don’t tire him out too much,” she said to Fen.

  “Oh my God.” Kevin started pushing her toward the door. “Good-bye. I’ll see you Sunday.” Fen laughed as he closed the door behind Jani. “Most days I wish she was still a cuddly little ten-year-old. She talks about things she shouldn’t even know about yet.” Kevin groaned.

  “She’s a nice kid,” Fen said.

  “Don’t let the cute act fool you. That’s the way she lures in her victims.”

  Fen laughed and kissed Kevin’s neck.

  After that, they were quiet for a few moments. They hadn’t been alone in months and things were different somehow. Like there was intention, where before they’d just fallen into each other.

  “You tired?” Kevin finally asked.

  “Not really,” Fen said.

  “You want to go to bed?”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  HE WOKE the next morning to an unseasonably beautiful sunny day. Kevin’s body was curled around his, warm and blissfully naked. Fen had known he missed how that felt. He didn’t know just how much.

  “Morning,” he whispered.

  “Not morning yet. Close your eyes.”

  Fen’s body was still on school schedule. He was wide-awake. “I’ll go make coffee.”

  Kevin tightened his arms around Fen’s middle. “I’ll buy you, like, three Starbucks drinks later if you stay in bed another hour. Just close your eyes. You’ll fall back to sleep.” Fen felt like they’d had that conversation before, probably because they had. Fen didn’t have Kevin’s talent of passing out in the blink of an eye and staying that way for long stretches. But he also didn’t mind relaxing in Kevin’s arms and letting his mind drift. It was the best morning he’d had in months.

  FEN DID fall back to sleep eventually, but he woke up when his phone started to buzz incessantly on his nightstand.

  “Hey, Ma.” Fen tried to talk quietly. When he answered, Kevin was still asleep, of course, draped across his back and snuffling comfortably, and Fen didn’t want to wake him up. He really didn’t want a wriggly, morning-horny Kevin to deal with when he was on the phone with his mother either. Talk about no.

  “Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?” He knew she was hurt that he hadn’t come home. She’d brought it up enough times in the past month.

  “Yeah, I did. Felt kind of like family even though you guys weren�
�t here. You’ll have to meet everyone else next time you come visit. Last time you only saw Ben.”

  “Do you think you’ll stay out there for another school year?” Fen knew his mother viewed California as temporary, a stop for him to sow his oats or whatever before he moved home, got a job there, and found a nice girl to marry who wasn’t from the west coast. It was what everyone else had done, minus the detour in California. It was probably what everyone expected him to do, not just his mother. Fen didn’t know how to tell her that he’d pretty much figured he’d stay in California. Every year made the decision all that much more permanent.

  “Yeah, I’m going to stay here next year. Ben’ll be back in September and I’ve gotten into the groove with my physics curriculum….”

  “Oh.” Of course she was disappointed. He understood that it was hard for her to have him so far away. They’d always been the closest two in the family. Fen hated disappointing her, but he didn’t want to go back. His family was there, but the guys out here, well they really were his family too, just not the blood-related kind. He felt like he’d suffocate if he moved back into that tiny town where everyone knew all of his business.

  Kevin made a muffled noise against Fen’s neck. “Good mo—”

  “Shhh,” Fen said quickly.

  “What, darling?”

  “What?” Kevin frowned.

  “Not you.” Fen mouthed the word “mom” at Kevin. “Hey, Ma. I gotta go. I’m meeting the guys this morning for a bike ride and I need to get dressed and ready to go.” Blatant lie. Kevin looked at him quizzically.