Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within

by Bethany Shay Porteous

  I’m still real though, The Shadow cackled. Don’t forget that.

  I shoved my fist in my mouth as tears stung from my eyes and I rested my head on my knees as I sobbed into oblivion.

  Chapter Ten

  “It’s so lovely to see you Evelyn,” Stella said as she wrapped me in a hug. “It feels like it has been far too long. How have the last few months of school been? You’re getting so close to graduation as well! How’s applying for college been treating you?”

  “Let the girl breathe mom,” Phoenix winked at me as he pulled Stella off me. “Looking good Evelyn, been working out?”

  “Yeah,” I laughed. “I’ve actually gone up in my training as well.”

  “You’re definitely more toned that’s for sure,” Sienna commented as she looked at my profile.

  “Thank you?” I laughed awkwardly as Aiden squeezed my hand. “Where’s everyone else?”

  “Jasmine and Christian are hiking at the moment,” Stella told me. “Aliyah is sulking upstairs and Gabriel is trying to talk her down.”

  “Grace was disappointed she couldn’t come,” Aiden said. “She really gets on well with Aliyah. Their personalities are quite similar.”

  “Which is why the two of them together are a dangerous combination,” my father chuckled as he led the way up to the house.

  It was calming to be back at the family home with everyone. I could still remember the first time I had met them all. They had all been dressed up with big—if not cautious smiles—waiting to meet their long-lost sister. It had been an extremely overwhelming day, meeting so many people all at once but it was also the start of figuring out who I was in the world.

  Sadly, I hadn’t come very far since then.

  “Is she still upset?” I asked softly.

  “Her plane ticket has been booked to New Orleans,” my father said. “That girl… some days she’s open to discuss it and even speaks positively about the whole thing. Heck, she talks to that boy every day! Then she just flips her lid and completely disregards everything that has been said… I don’t know.”

  “She is looking forward to seeing you though Evelyn,” Stella told me. “We’re so happy the two of you are here. From what I hear Aiden, you’ve been getting worked to the bone back home. It’ll be nice for you to have a quiet and restful weekend.”

  Quiet and restful Evelyn, I told myself. Which is why you do not need to tell him about that awful nightmare. Just thinking about it made my throat constrict and my grip on Aiden’s hand tightened and I hoped he took it for affection and not panic.

  “I am looking forward to having a clear head for a while,” Aiden admitted. “We were actually thinking about coming to stay a few weeks near the end of Summer before college starts. I’m going to need some time to stop myself from shifting as often and if I spend the whole Summer at home… that’s not going to be possible.”

  This was news to me… but I was fine with coming up here before college. Aiden must have been thinking about this for a while, he came out with it so casually and decided.

  “You’re both more than welcome here anytime,” my father said as we climbed the porch steps and made our way inside. “Your cavalry can stay in the barn. It’s been refurbished—it’s like a second house. Surely they can guard you both from in there?”

  Aiden chuckled and gave a nod. “It’s all a formality. We’re probably safer here than we are at home anyway.”

  “We can kick some serious ass,” Phoenix agreed nonchalantly.

  The moment we walked inside I was hit with warmth and familiarity. The house still smelled like herbs and flowers and the floorboards upstairs creaked loud enough to indicate that people were shuffling around up there. The décor was unchanged and still held that rustic and comfortable feel, although a new piece of art hung in the front entrance.

  “I just finished it,” Jasmine beamed. “It’s supposed to be the lake near the border.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I told her as I admired the way you could almost see the water shimmering—as if it were real.

  “That’s where she has her not-so-secret meetups with lover boy,” Sienna whispered into my ear and Jasmine kicked her ankle.

  Stella and my father seemed obvious to the altercation as they glanced upstairs before whispering hurriedly to one another. I looked at Jasmine who gave me a wink before fake-sealing her lips and cocking her head at me. I nodded slowly and she grinned before dancing through to the kitchen.

  Aiden tugged on my hand and I looked up at him. “What was that?” he mouthed.

  “Later,” I mumbled.

  “You two can have the room you stayed in last time you were here,” Stella told us. “Take some time to freshen up and relax a bit. Dinner will be ready at five, okay?”

  “Thanks Stella,” I smiled at the two of them before Aiden and I made our way to our room we’d had before. The windows were opened, allowing in the cool breeze of the afternoon.

  Aiden flopped face first on the bed and yawned loudly. “Goddess, I am so tired.”

  “You slept like a baby on the plane,” I murmured beside him. “I can’t believe your dad put you on that patrol and only gave you four hours to sleep.”

  “I know he just wants me to be ready but this is killing me,” he groaned. “I feel like my eyes are about to fall out.”

  “You’ll be no good to anyone if you’re out there exhausted,” I worried. “What if you get attacked and you can’t focus on defending yourself?”

  “I am always with someone,” he assured me. “You’ve been quiet since we landed, are you alright?”

  “Yeah,” I said airily. “Just tired as well.”

  Not only was I tired but my mind was quiet also and that made me worry. The silence was deafening and that cruel voice wasn’t there to torture me. The last I had heard from it had been in the bathroom on the plane and then it disappeared. It made me weary as to when it would jump out again and how it would choose to mess with me the next time it did make an appearance.

  My body was aching and I wasn’t sure if that was because of being cramped in the plane and then in the back of dad’s car, but I could feel it in my joints. They were stiff and every now and then I got this pulse of pain so brief it was almost as if it never happened. My gums hadn’t bled again which was a relief, but they still ached.

  Maybe I was getting wisdom teeth? A girl in English had been complaining recently about hers coming through…

  “Your mind looks like it’s ticking overtime,” Aiden nudged me. “What’s up?”

  “My mouth hurts,” I admitted. There was no point in lying—it could very well be that I needed some simple dental work. “My gums ache…sting nearly.”

  He frowned as he sat up somewhat. “How do you mean?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it.” I could feel myself becoming flustered. “They just… ache, I don’t know.”

  “My mouth ached when I started to get my wolf,” Aiden said slowly. “You don’t think…”

  “Don’t tease me Aiden,” I grumbled. “I’m not getting a wolf. It should have happened by now.”

  “I’m not teasing you,” he said. “I mean… you’ve been hungry a lot and you say you’re sore a lot more… you’ve even been a little… well… snappy sometimes. Unpredictable.”

  I winced at the last comment. “All those things you’ve brought up could do with the fact that I’ve been training harder which explains the increased hunger. I’m sore because I am working harder and I’m snappy because I’m all of the above and I’m stressing about graduating.”

  “I didn’t mean to say snappy,” Aiden murmured. “That was a bad choice of words, I’m sorry.”

  “No,” I sighed as I put my head down. “I have been a little on the short side lately.”

  “It’s the stress,” Aiden decided. “If you think about how much pressure both of us are under and not to mention the fact, we’re lucky if we get more than five minutes alone together. It’s taking its toll on both of us. When we
finally leave for college—things will get better. Easier.”

  “What happens when we come back?” I asked weakly. “When you’re Alpha?”

  “When I’m Alpha I’ll make the rules,” Aiden said. “Which means I can spend as much time with you as I want because I’ll be in charge. I will be there for you Evelyn. I’m not going to work like my father does. Sure, he runs a strong pack—but after spending so much time alongside him… he can take the time away from it and he doesn’t. I see the toll that takes on mom as well. I won’t do that to you. I won’t do that to us.”

  We both went silent for a while and the stillness of the room settled me down. It was so easy for me to get worked up these days and part of me wished that it was symptoms of getting a wolf—at least it would be something good to pin it on. I felt like a tightly coiled ball of anxiety, ready to erupt at any moment. If I didn’t stop stressing soon my hair was going to start falling out.

  I focused on the silence in my mind and waited for that awful moment when The Shadow would come back to taunt me. It usually waited until I was calm and less aware of myself. That episode on the plane had been terrifying and it was even worse to know Aiden had been right beside me. What if I had woken up screaming or started sleep walking?

  How would I explain that I was still lying to him?

  The fact that it had happened on the way here of all places made me even more nervous. My father would want to cross examine me and the whole thing would become a nightmarish spectacle. I needed to handle this on my own and sort it out for myself. I couldn’t constantly keep relying on people to fight my battles for me—especially Aiden.

  I looked at him with his eyes closed and that small furrow between his brows and I smiled. He was simply perfect to me. Everything about him was amazing. From the long hours he pulled with his father to constantly reassuring me that he was still there for me. It made me wonder if he even had a moment to himself to relax and unwind.

  I felt like he hadn’t had a relaxed moment since he first found me.

  “You have to stop staring at me,” he smirked as he cracked an eye open. “You’re making me self-conscious.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I’ll stop.”

  I had no intention of stopping. His features were so defined, with that beautiful jaw and those perfect lips and the shape of his nose. I loved the way my mark sat on his neck and how that neck sat on two well defined shoulders that led down to the best set of arms to ever be created… It was as if he had been perfectly carved out of stone.

  “Evelyn,” he mumbled tiredly. “I may not be able to hear your thoughts, but I could take a guess as to where they’re headed.”

  I chuckled and settled myself down beside him, but I found myself suddenly wide awake and not tired at all. Rolling onto my side I stared at Aiden’s peaceful face and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was completely out for the count. With a heavy sigh and a slight flicker of his eyes a low snore echoed through the room and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing.

  Slowly I eased my way off the bed and creeped out of the room in search of Aliyah. There was a ruckus coming from the kitchen and it sounded like everyone was in there. A thud from upstairs had me going in that direction, admiring all the pictures hung up on the wall as I went up. I was a little surprised to see the family photo we had taken at Christmas hanging proudly in the middle.

  My face was different in that photo. The joy I displayed was near overwhelming as I was surrounded by everyone who meant the most to me. It was nice to see myself displayed so normally.

  Shaking my head, I continued upstairs and made my way to what I remembered to be Aliyah’s room. I tapped on her door hesitantly and it was ripped open by a very angry looking Aliyah. I flinched backward instantly from her scowl and she quickly softened her expression.

  “Oh Evie!” she cried as she threw her arms around my neck. “I missed you!”

  “I missed you too!” I gasped as she dragged me into the room and slammed the door. “Are you alright?”

  “Ugh!” Aliyah hissed. “No, I am not! This jerk is making it too hard for me to hate him!”

  “Isn’t that a good thing?” I asked tentatively.

  “If I like him then dad and mom get off free of any shame for what they are making me do,” she told me. “I’m not letting that happen.”

  “Oh Aliyah,” I said softly.

  “Look at what he said to me!” she growled as she thrust her phone under my nose. “Read from here down.”

  Julius

  Just give me one summer Ali and let me prove to you how perfect we would be together. I know you feel something for me and if what you said the other night… if you meant that truly, then I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’d let something like your pride get in the way of what could be so amazing. All I’m asking for is a summer.

  Don’t gush Evie, this isn’t the response she’s looking for.

  “He seems… honest?” I winced at my choice of wording as I handed her phone back. “I mean, he seems genuine, like he really wants to try.”

  “That’s the problem,” she whined. “How can I be so cruel to someone who has never hurt me?”

  I worried my lip between my teeth as I watched her pace her room. “Why not just give him the summer Aliyah? Really give it your all and if you still feel nothing… just leave.”

  “Run away?” she stopped dead in her tracks.

  “Obviously at the end of the day if you don’t love him you shouldn’t have to spend the rest of your life with him. It wouldn’t be fair on either of you.”

  “Dad would die if he heard you speaking like this,” she chuckled. “Then kill you for putting ideas into my head.”

  “Well I don’t agree with the whole arranged marriage thing,” I admitted. “But… look if you feel something—anything, then just give it a go. Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face.”

  “Ugh,” she muttered. “That’s what he said to me.”

  “Well he’s right,” I told her as I sat down on her bed. “So, it looks like I’ll be staying here for a few weeks at the end of summer.”

  “Really?” Aliyah screeched in excitement before she frowned. “I probably won’t even be here, that stinks!”

  “I’m sure we’ll cross paths at some stage,” I assured her.

  “Well if we don’t that’s something else I can yell at my parents for,” she grinned as she threw herself down on the bed. “Evelyn?”

  “Yeah?” I mumbled.

  “What’s sex like?” Aliyah asked.

  My eyes widened as I stared at her and I shook my head. “No way, not happening!”

  “Come on!” she whined. “If I marry Julius I want to know what I’m in for.”

  “Aliyah,” I squeaked.

  “I know you’re no virgin Mary young lady,” she said as she wagged her finger at me. “Spill some details.”

  “Can’t you read a brochure or something?” I cringed.

  Aliyah rolled her eyes and groaned loudly. “Evie, what am I going to do?”

  “Give him a chance,” I told her as I grabbed her hand. “I know it’s terrifying to even think about it but you may end up being pleasantly surprised. I know I was.”

  “Dinner!” Phoenix’s voice roared through the house and we both jumped in shock.

  “Idiot,” Aliyah grumbled before she nodded. “Alright fine. I’ll give him a chance, but if he messes up I am out of there and out of here.”

  ∞

  We all gathered around the fire in the living room a while after dinner, nursing cups of tea as my siblings regaled me with more tales that I hadn’t yet heard of the things they had gotten up to as kids. I was in stitches with most of their stories, although, somehow poor Gabriel always seemed to be the one at the brunt of the joke or getting hurt.

  “That reminds me of the time I locked Grace down in the basement after I told her it was haunted,” Aiden chuckled as Jasmine finished her story. “We had to be like six or seven and she was going
through this phase of just fearing everything.”

  “One time I locked Sienna in the chicken coop because she was terrified of birds,” Phoenix snorted. “I can still hear her screams of terror.”

  “What about that time when we all went ice skating and Aliyah fell and broke her leg?” Sienna gasped.

  “We said we’d all leave her there while we went and got help,” Christian chortled. “Then told her that she’d have to sing the alphabet backwards to make sure the ice didn’t melt.”

  “You guys are jerks,” Aliyah rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe I fell for that.”

  “I remember the time when Christian had a crush on Ellen… this had to be what, three years ago now?” Sienna frowned before shrugging and continuing. “Little did he know that Ellen was starting to date Hector…”

  “Is that when he wrote that love letter to her to meet up at the Peak?” Christian asked with a loud laugh. “Oh Morgana, this story will never get old.”

  “Why must we keep repeating it?” Christian groaned loudly.

  “What happened?” I demanded.

  “Well Christian got his starlit date alright… with Hector!” Jasmine guffawed and everyone broke out into hysterics.

  “You kids have truly done some crazy stuff,” Stella sighed. “It’s a wonder any of you are still alive.”

  “One day you’ll all have your own children giving you heart palpitations and causing premature gray hair,” my father said and we all laughed.

  “You and Aiden will have the cutest babies,” Jasmine gushed.

  I laughed nervously while Aiden’s cheeks tinged slightly red and he rubbed the back of his neck as he cleared his throat.

  “Don’t embarrass them,” Sienna slapped Jasmine’s shoulder.

  “Alright I’m going to bed,” Gabriel announced. “Night all.”

  Goodnights were passed around and slowly everyone began to filter out of the room. It was now just Aiden, myself, Stella and my father were left in front of the fire. It cracked in a loud but comforting way and I could feel myself growing tired as I sunk further back into the couch. My mind was still silent, The Shadow had either decided to disappear altogether, or it was planning something truly heinous and unease trickled down my spine.