Wolfsbane: The Wolf Within

by Bethany Shay Porteous

  “Oh Evelyn,” my father said suddenly. “I forgot—I found something for you. It was in one of your grandmother’s journals.” He hoisted himself up onto his feet and made his way to the mantle above the fire where he took a piece of paper from it and handed it to me.

  I frowned down at the two young women in the portrait. They were dressed like they were from the 1800’s but they looked truly glamorous in their attire. Both women were near identical, with black hair that was pinned into the daintiest of updos and skin that even with this filtering, would have to be tan. Each held dark eyes set on elegantly portioned faces, with neither nose being too big or too small.

  “Who are they?” I asked with a frown.

  “That would be Danyeela and Tatiana, our beloved Rosewood witches.” My father sat back down in his chair. “Possibly one of the only photographs ever taken of the pair really and very carefully preserved and hidden amongst our family. By Morgana, would we be targeted if people knew of our relation.”

  “They look so normal,” I mused. “Which is which?”

  “No idea,” he shrugged.

  “Where did they get the term of Rosewood?” I asked with a frown.

  “Another mystery” he said. “I assumed it was because they wanted to disassociate with the Ahasverus name altogether. These two women may be blood, but they are not family. If Morgana were here… that witch must turn in her grave.”

  The thought of my dead ancestor turned my thoughts to Jonah’s words. When you get over here… “Dad?” I asked. “Where do we go when we die?” Aiden looked up from his phone in interest at my question.

  “It depends,” Stella answered for my father. “There are two places to go for a Supernatural creature. There’s Hell, just like the humans and of course there’s Rapture. You don’t want to be going to Hell.”

  “Hell is essentially Earth,” my father explained. “You are still bound here with every other evil creature human and supernatural alike. You can see everyone, but no one can see you.”

  I swallowed deeply. “What’s Rapture?”

  “Heaven,” Stella smiled. “Essentially.”

  “We live on eternally in Rapture with all those we have lost. There is no pain, no evil and no suffering.” My father beamed at me. “Not many vampires there. Or Lycans. Morgana rules over Rapture.”

  “The Moon Goddess rules over Rapture,” Aiden cut in.

  “They’re essentially the same person darling,” Stella laughed softly. “Morgana gave herself many names but she will always be Morgana, the Creator, the Mother and the Moon Goddess.”

  “So… people like Jonah would be in Hell?” I asked nervously.

  “I couldn’t think of a better place for him,” Aiden grunted beside me.

  “I would say he is,” my father said. “But Morgana chooses who goes where and why. It’s not up to us to make assumptions, we could end up very wrong… but for a boy like Jonah, I think it’s safe to say he is definitely glued to this Earth for all eternity.”

  “Which is why it’s so important to live your life,” Stella told me with solemn eyes. “As fully and filled with as much happiness as possible. Make him hate where he is and hate himself for being put there.”

  “Can… can those that are stuck here… can they communicate with us?” I asked as my palms sweat.

  “It is known that sometimes they can break the barriers of communication… but their subject needs to be very weak and very emotionally vulnerable. Why do you ask?” Dad regarded me over his cup of tea and I shrugged at him as I shook my head.

  “Just curious I guess,” I mumbled.

  In the back of my mind though, panic was filling every crevice as I remembered the vision I had of my mother. She had come to me, she had broken those barriers… it couldn’t be true.

  My mother couldn’t have gone to Hell.

  Chapter Eleven

  “How was Ohio?” Sam asked as we traipsed through the forest together.

  Ohio had been great, I thought to myself. It had been a peaceful and uninterrupted silence within my mind that had soon ended the moment I’d hopped on the plane. That time alone with my family, eating with them and talking with them—it had helped me regain focus on myself and when that voice came back… it wasn’t so draining. I had renewed strength that I could get rid of it myself, all I would is some time alone and privacy.

  All I had to do was find out where—and that other voice was going to help me.

  “Evelyn?” Sam asked and I shook my head.

  “Sorry,” I laughed softly. “It was great, I love going back home. It’s just… always hard leaving as well.”

  “Aiden said you guys had applied to colleges near your family?” Sam said.

  “We have,” I nodded. “I’m surprised he even told you that. You guys talk?”

  “No,” Sam laughed out loud. “No, I overheard him saying that. Your mate and I do not talk.”

  “I know he must seem like a bit of…” I trailed off, trying to think of the right word without insulting my mate.

  “An asshole?” Sam supplied and I made a face. “I get it. I know why he doesn’t like me and I can accept that. I just hope one day… I just hope that for mine and Karla’s sake it won’t always be like this. I can’t live like this, not after the independent life I’ve lived. I have even tried convincing Karla to go rogue with me.”

  “Woah,” I gasped. “Yeah… I don’t think this is something you should tell me. If that happens… and Aiden asks… and I knew—”

  “Hey don’t freak out,” Sam chuckled. “Karla would never do it. That girl is a pack wolf through and through. If this is the life she wants, then I’ll do it for her.”

  “It must be hard coming into this life,” I murmured.

  “It is,” Sam agreed. “Being with Karla makes it bearable though. All I have to do is prove myself worthy. Until then I’m the new wolf that no one wants anything to do with. You know a few of Karla’s friends have stopped talking to her?”

  “What?” I asked in surprise. “Seriously?”

  “Seriously,” Sam affirmed. “Won’t call her back or anything and if they see her in the street, they just turn the other way.”

  “Oh, that’s just…that’s beyond ridiculous!” I spluttered. “How immature and—and stupid!”

  “I know,” he agreed. “I even tried talking to them, but their mates got all up on me. I feel bad. She says it doesn’t bother her but…”

  Anger hit me hard in the chest as I ran a hand down my face. “That’s just not good enough behavior. For her own friends to ostracize her? Karla is one of our best fighters, for the sake of Morgana!” Sam was quiet for a moment while I fumed inwardly.

  “I mean no disrespect for your mate Evelyn,” he started nervously. “But the pack wolves follow their hierarchy and—Aiden hasn’t been kind to Karla at all. I’m just saying that a lot of them take their lead from him.”

  That made sense to me. I knew firsthand what it was like for other wolves to get on your back simply because someone higher in power didn’t like you. Aiden should know better. I shook my head in a mixture of disgust and disappointment and I knew that I was going to have to say something to Aiden about what was happening. Things couldn’t go on like this and I would not be Luna of a pack that behaved like this.

  It would not be happening.

  “You know I have noticed something about you.” Sam’s voice broke into my thoughts. “You never say Goddess. Always Morgana. You identify more with your witch side?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I mumbled. “It’s the side I can access and my family all say it. I guess it’s a combination of slip of the tongue and what I believe in more.”

  “Your family has a direct line to Morgana, right?” Sam asked curiously. “Which is why you have so much power?”

  “Yeah,” I said as my step faltered. “The Rosewood sisters are part of my ancestry actually.”

  “So, they had offspring then?” Sam asked. “Before they became immortal?”
r />   “Must have,” I shrugged. “How much do you know about them?”

  Sam shrugged and dug his hands in his pockets. “You hear stuff you know. No one I think even knows the whole story. Those two stick to themselves don’t they?”

  “Yeah apparently.” I looked at the time of my phone and I groaned inwardly. “Hey, I have to get going. I’m prom dress shopping today.”

  “Prom already?” Sam asked. “Where is the year going?”

  “I know right?” I laughed. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Want me to walk you back?” he asked.

  “All good,” I waved my hand.

  “Have fun dress shopping,” he winked before he turned on his heel and launched himself into his wolf, taking off into the forest.

  I stared after him, biting my lip in thought. It was unfair that his mate and him were going through all this drama and I knew I had to talk to Aiden about it. It couldn’t be allowed to go on, especially from her friends. What happened when the two eventually had children together? Would they be picked on and disrespected because their father was born a rogue?

  My phone buzzed frantically in my hand and I rolled my eyes as I quickly began making my way up to the house.

  ∞

  “I don’t want to wear anything too booby,” Lucy declared loudly. “But, I still want some boob.”

  “Of course,” Hannah giggled. “Mine arrived yesterday.”

  “What!” Grace shouted. “Why haven’t you sent a photo?”

  “I took it to Gloria to get it tailored properly. It was a little big in uh, some areas.” Hannah flushed before she squealed at a dress on the rack. “Lucy, this would look amazing on you!”

  Lucy took the dress from her and eyed it thoughtfully. It was deep red with an impressive slit right down the front that would make even the mated males squirm. “Pretty booby,” Lucy sighed. “But so me.”

  “Try it on!” Grace ordered, shoving her in the direction of the changeroom. “You can’t say no until you’ve worn it!”

  “Alright!” Lucy squeaked before dashing in with glee. “Wow, it’s so soft!” Lucy began rustling about with the clothes and Hannah flicked through the rack thoughtfully.

  “Hey,” I started quietly. “I was talking to Sam today and he said that a lot of Karla’s friends have stopped talking to her because of who he is.”

  “Really?” Grace scrunched her nose.

  “Yeah…” I mumbled.

  “When were you talking to Sam?” Lucy asked from behind the curtain.

  “We walk sometimes,” I shrugged awkwardly. “What he said… isn’t it a bit… won’t that kind of behavior just cause segregation?”

  “It should be addressed,” Hannah agreed. “Talk about it with Aiden.”

  Lucy snorted inside her changing room and my cheeks flushed before the curtain whipped open and Lucy pranced out. The dress clung to her curves like she was some sort of exotic model and her breasts filled out the dress enough to make the gap not look quite as revealing as it did on the hanger.

  “I love it,” Grace gushed. “If you don’t wear that I will kill you.”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice,” Lucy laughed with a wink before darting back into the dressing room.

  “Try this dress Evie,” Hannah said softly. “I think it would look lovely on you.”

  The dress was folded over her arm, so I was unable to see it as I was forced into a dressing room with the gown. I stared at the shimmery silver tones dubiously as I began to undress, hoping I wouldn’t look like an idiot in it. Hannah wouldn’t give me anything that would make me look ridiculous though.

  As I began to shimmy into the gown my heart stopped as I heard the girls whispering and I closed my eyes anxiously as I stretched my hearing past the small room and toward their voices.

  “But why is she out walking alone with him?” Grace’s voice asked worriedly. “Aiden would have a fit and now we know… if we don’t say anything and he finds out we knew…”

  “He’ll go ape on all of us,” Lucy sighed. “I don’t want to bring this up as a problem for her… she seems so normal today. I don’t want to do anything that might… make her not be normal?”

  Normal today… I gulped inwardly as I fumbled with the zip. My mind had been a silent oasis—mostly. It wasn’t so hard to focus on living without having to lie so much. Had I not been fooling anyone?

  You fool no one Evelyn, The Shadow laughed darkly, and the zip shot up my back at that same moment, a cold trail on my skin. I shut my eyes tightly as my forehead broke out into a sweat and my airways constricted.

  “Karla made her decision to leave the pack or let Sam out!” Grace’s frantic whisper cut through my clammy thoughts. “If she has to be ostracized for a whole then so be it.”

  “Yeah, but how long is a while?” Hannah mumbled. “It was right of Evelyn to bring this up.”

  “Hey Evie,” Grace called out. “Are you stuck in there?”

  Morgana, they must still think my hearing is bad.

  I walked out of the dressing room in a daze, not really feeling attached to my body. I hadn’t even looked in the mirror. My skin felt cold and damp and my mouth felt drier than the desert. I hoped I didn’t look as bad as I felt.

  “It looks great!” Grace announced loudly. “Look at the way it just follows the line of her body!”

  I absentmindedly traced the neckline of the gown, noting how it came up high and covered my normally obvious collarbone. The shoulders were wide but the dress was sleeveless and it flowed down to my waist where it slightly dipped in the middle before it trailed down to the floor. The dress glinted and sparkled, as if it were jeweled. With a cautious frown, I scooped my hair over my shoulder into a low bun on the side, and I rotated myself as I checked each angle.

  Beautiful, the kind voice whispered gently.

  I stilled and my lips parted in surprise at the gentle intrusion, so different from the other one that lingered inside my mind. This voice was calm and soothing, tentative and held no pressure or threat of pain. It wasn’t aggressive—why didn’t this one make more of an appearance? My mouth began to ache slightly and my skin itched as if the dress was suddenly made from straw.

  Who are you? I asked timidly into my mind as I closed my eyes. I’ve heard you before.

  I think you know who I am.

  I don’t, I thought.

  But you do, it said calmly. Why else would you be trying to communicate with me?

  I haven’t tried anything.

  Are you finally ready to accept me, Evelyn? It asked softly.

  I’m not sure, I admitted. But I think you can… help me?

  The voice went silent and I waited nervously, terrified that at any moment The Shadow was going to come back and break a part whatever this was. I needed to know that this side of me was real and that it could help me… after all, it was sharing my mind with The Shadow, right?

  It is true that I’m not alone in here, the voice sighed. It is very hard for me to get through to you. To help you become what you were destined to be.

  My mouth dried and I licked my dry lips. What am I destined to be?

  “Evelyn!” Hannah snapped her fingers in front of my face and I shrieked in surprise as I stumbled backward slightly. “Goddess girl, what is with you lately?”

  “Huh?” I asked in confusion as I backed into the dressing room.

  “We’ve been trying to speak to you about this dress for at least a minute and your acting like we aren’t even here,” Grace growled. “In fact, you’ve been doing that a lot lately. What’s going on with you?”

  “Don’t say you’re fine because I know you’re lying,” Hannah said as she folded her arms. “Your aura has been changing constantly lately. You’re up and down more than a dang yoyo.”

  I gaped at all three of them with wide eyes, feeling tears gathering before I slammed the curtain across roughly as irritation raced through me. “Why do I always have to explain myself to you guys?”

  “Wh
at?” Grace demanded from outside.

  I stripped angrily from the dress and roughly began putting my clothes back on. “The moment I do something that any of you deem out of the ordinary, I have a problem or I’m coming off my hinges! It is so exhausting being around all of you!” I yanked open the curtain with a scowl and stepped out. “I can’t do anything right. I don’t give the right reaction or say the right thing. I’m so sick and tired of trying to please everyone!”

  “Evelyn!” Lucy gasped with wide eyes. “Why are you getting so worked up?”

  Look at them ganging up on you, The Shadow tutted into my mind. Talking about you… scheming against you…

  “I heard you just before!” I snapped. “Talking about me. I’m not as deaf as you all think I am. In fact, I hear a lot more than most of you give me credit for. I can walk with whoever I want—Aiden doesn’t own me and neither do any of you.”

  Grace’s cheeks flushed. “Why are you being such a bitch?”

  Stop it, the soft voice ordered. You’re listening to the other one—

  It disappeared as quickly as it appeared and a tremor ran down my spine.

  “Evelyn,” Lucy said soothingly. “We’re just worried about you—we all are.”

  “Oh, everyone is so worried about me!” I laughed sarcastically. “Maybe you should all spend some time worrying about yourselves! For Morgana sakes Lucy, you can’t even tell your mate what you really want out of life and Grace you spend more time whining about not being allowed to join the fighters, but you do nothing about it!”

  “Evelyn!” Hannah hissed.

  “But you’re so perfect, right?” Grace laughed with steely eyes. “You can’t even control your magic Evelyn. Look at you now…. look in that mirror at yourself!”

  Slowly I turned my head and noted in surprise the amber glow around my iris and the shimmer of pale light that ghosted across my skin. Quickly I blinked my eyes before looking around the secluded dressing room, trying to spot any humans that may have witnessed that—or even witnessed the conversation.