Constructing the Soul

by Annabella Michaels

  I sighed as I shut off my phone and shoved it back in my pocket. I knew I was going to have to face Morgan eventually, we were working on the project together after all and there was no way I was going to slack off on my obligations to my friends or to Agape House. I just needed time to figure out how I was supposed to resist the man that had stolen my heart and made it his own.

  I did my best to push all thoughts of Morgan aside as I pulled the door to the restaurant open and stepped inside. My eyes searched the room and finally landed on my friends. I’d have much rather spent the night curled up on my couch, binge watching Orange is the New Black, but Travis had called and insisted that I meet them for dinner and drinks after work.

  I’d tried to tell him no, but he’d actually sounded hurt when he mentioned that I hadn’t gone out with them in over four weeks. I’d been surprised by that and then I realized he was right and that I’d been so caught up with Morgan and work that I’d neglected my friends. I apologized and he told me just to make sure I was at the restaurant that night. So, there I was. I pasted on a smile and walked over to the table where the three of them sat. They looked up and smiled as I slid into the booth beside Garrett.

  “Hey, man! How are you?” Jasper asked.

  “Good. I’m good,” I said, nodding my head for emphasis then groaned inwardly when I saw the knowing looks they shared with each other.

  The thing about having people in your life that you’d been friends with for years, was that they knew everything about you and they could easily tell when something was wrong. Sometimes that was a blessing, but in my case, it was a curse. Especially because I knew they wouldn’t let it drop just because I asked them to.

  “We can tell something’s wrong no matter how much you deny it,” Travis said.

  “Talk to us, we’re your friends,” Jasper reminded me.

  “Yeah, maybe we can help,” Garrett offered.

  I felt a genuine smile spread across my face that time. Those guys may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but they had always been really good friends to me. I knew they cared about me and they were concerned so I took a deep breath and began telling them everything, from meeting Morgan and the work he was doing to the double date we’d been surprised to find ourselves on, all the way through the wedding and my decision to fly back home on my own.

  The only parts I left out were the fact that I was in love with Morgan and the intimate moments he and I had shared together because no matter what happened between us, those moments were mine and no one else had a right to them. Those were the moments that I would carry in my heart forever. I finished telling them my story and took a sip of my margarita then sat back and waited for them to talk. I didn’t have to wait long.

  “You’ve been seeing this guy for weeks and this is the first we’re hearing about it?” Jasper complained.

  “Do I need to kick his ass?” Travis growled and it made me smile because that was typical Travis. He was the most laid-back of all of us, but mess with one of his friends and he turned into a fierce mother bear, protecting her cub.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner; the whole thing just kind of took me by surprise. Also, I’ve been really busy between the Agape House project and helping Landon with the tour schedule before his wedding,” I explained. Jasper nodded once then leaned back in his seat, looking appeased by my answer. I turned my attention to Travis who was still clenching his jaw.

  “Calm down, there’s no reason to kick his ass. We were just having some fun anyway,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

  A lump formed in my throat and I nearly choked on the lie. It had been so much more than simple fun, for me at least. I grabbed my drink and took another long sip, licking the salt from my lips. I looked up and found all three sets of eyes on me.

  “What?” I asked cautiously.

  “This guy was different, wasn’t he? You really liked him,” Jasper said gently. I was mortified to feel my eyes beginning to burn and I reached down and pinched my leg so I’d have something else to focus on besides the clawing pain in my chest. It had hurt so badly to walk away from Morgan, but it was better than watching him walk away from me when he found someone else, I reminded myself.

  “It doesn’t matter because I’m not seeing him anymore,” I said firmly, hoping they’d take the hint and drop it. It was quiet for a few minutes and then Travis winked at me and started talking about some guy he’d gone home with the night before. I gave him a small smile as a way of thanking him and then let myself relax into my seat.

  I absentmindedly ran my finger over the rim of my glass as I glanced around the room, only half listening to Travis’s story. It wasn’t his fault though, Travis was usually quite entertaining. I just hadn’t been able to concentrate on much of anything that past week. It was like my mind couldn’t settle on any one thing because it was always being pulled in the opposite direction of where I wanted it to go. No matter how hard I tried to force them away, thoughts of Morgan always crept in.

  My head turned and I caught Garrett staring at me. He averted his gaze quickly, but not before I saw the look in his eyes. He’d looked concerned and maybe a little disappointed. I’d noticed that he’d been unusually quiet as I’d told them about Morgan and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he disappointed in me for falling for the wrong guy once again?

  I couldn’t say that I blamed him if that were the case because I was disappointed too. There was a part of me that had truly believed that Morgan was different, that the way he’d looked at me and the way he’d held me had meant the same to him as it did to me. But his actions had made it clear that I wasn’t as important to him as I’d thought.

  There was another part of me that kept whispering that maybe I should have given him a break, that he was obviously upset and hadn’t been acting like himself. That was the part that had me reaching for my phone about a million times over the last week, begging me to call him and give him a chance to explain. I’d lost count of the number of times I’d read through our texts or listened to the messages he’d left on my phone just so I could hear his voice, but then I’d remind myself that I was saving myself more pain by cutting things off right then.

  Of course, we still had a job to do, but so far, I’d managed to stop by the job site when I knew Morgan wouldn’t be there, discussing the progress of the rebuild with his foreman instead of him. I berated myself over my cowardly behavior, but I knew how weak I was around him and I couldn’t risk getting sucked in again by his charm.

  I didn’t blame Morgan for what had happened. He was a wonderful man and it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t feel as strongly for me as I felt for him. I hated that things hadn’t worked out between us, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve to find someone someday that was right for him. My heart squeezed painfully at the thought and I reached up and rubbed a hand over my chest, trying to ease the sharp ache.

  My friends continued to laugh and talk throughout dinner and I jumped into the conversation here and there so they wouldn’t notice how depressed I was. I waited until we’d paid the bill and then I stood and told them that I needed to go home and get some sleep.

  “Come on, Grandpa, it’s still early. Let’s head over to Lush-Us,” Travis pleaded.

  “Nah, you guys go on without me. I’ve got work to do tomorrow since Landon’s gone so I need to head out,” I explained.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Garrett said as he slid out of the booth.

  I leaned down and hugged Travis and blew kisses to Jasper since I couldn’t reach him then I walked out with Garrett following close behind. I took a deep breath of night air as I stepped outside the restaurant and fought back a yawn. A week of not sleeping was starting to catch up to me, making me feel like the old man Travis had accused me of being.

  “Are you sure you’re alright?” Garrett asked and I spun around to look at him.

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just more tired than I realized. I just need a good night’s sleep,” I assured him.
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  “Let me drive you home,” he suggested.

  “No, I can walk. It’s not far and it’ll do me good to get some fresh air,” I told him.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Akio, you can barely stand up. I’m taking you home.” I saw the determination in his eyes and I was too tired to argue so I nodded my head and followed him to his car. It only took a few minutes to reach my building and I yawned again as I took my seatbelt off. Garrett started to turn off the car, but I stopped him with my hand.

  “I appreciate you driving me home, it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea for me to walk home as tired as I am, but I think I can manage to make it inside my apartment on my own,” I joked.

  “I just thought you might want some company,” he said quietly. He must have noticed the confused look on my face because he continued. “I know you were upset earlier and I didn’t want you to be alone,” he explained. I felt a warmth in my chest from his thoughtfulness and I smiled at him.

  “I wouldn’t be good company anyway because I’ll probably fall asleep as soon as I get inside, but thank you for caring about me. You’re a good friend, Garrett.” I noticed a sudden tightening around his eyes, but then he pulled me into a tight hug.

  “I do care about you and I’ll always be here whenever you need me,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Thank you.” I patted his back and started to pull away, but he held on. His hand rubbed up and down my back and I could’ve sworn I heard him sniff my hair, but then just as quickly as he’d pulled me in, he let me go.

  “Go get some sleep before Travis starts looking into nursing homes for you,” he teased, shooting me the same grin he always wore and I wondered if my sleep-deprived mind had made me imagine the odd exchange.

  I flipped my middle finger at him and then opened the door and got out of the car. I could still hear him laughing as I climbed the steps and went inside. I was too tired to take the stairs, so I rode the elevator instead. I got off on the fourth floor and pulled my keys from my pocket and started to slide them in the lock, but stopped when it occurred to me that something was…off. I looked behind me and a chill swept through my body when I saw that the door across the hall was standing wide open. Even stranger was the fact that Mrs. Stevenson was nowhere in sight.

  I unlocked my door quickly and ran inside, searching for anything that could be used as a weapon then returned to the hallway. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed nine-one-one then let my finger hover over the send button as I crept closer to the open door. I wasn’t sure what I would find inside Mrs. Stevenson’s apartment so I was going to go in as prepared as possible.

  For just a second, I wished that I’d let Garrett come upstairs with me, but then I realized I was being a terrible friend and that it was better that he had left so that at least one of us would survive. My heart beat wildly against my rib cage and my pulse made a loud whooshing noise in my ears. I slowly made my way inside the apartment and my eyes swept over the living room, looking for signs of foul play.

  I’d always pictured Mrs. Stevenson’s home to look like that of an elderly lady. Lots of antiques and trinkets that she’d collected throughout the years, but now sat collecting dust. Perhaps a cat or ten that would be lying around on every available surface and the entire place would smell like mothballs. What I saw instead was a huge surprise.

  Her living room was neat and orderly with fairly modern furnishings. The place smelled like fresh baked bread and I saw no obvious signs of her having roommates of the feline variety. A sound coming from further in the apartment caught my attention and I crept slowly down the hall towards the bedroom.

  The hand holding my phone shook and I glanced down to make sure the call was still ready to send then I raised my other arm as I neared the doorway. I could feel sweat trickling down my temple and I tried to swallow, but my mouth was suddenly too dry. I rounded the doorway and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. A loud gasp escaped before I could stop it.

  Morgan turned around quickly when he heard me, his own eyes widening when he saw my raised arm. I slowly lowered it, letting it drop down beside my leg. Mrs. Stevenson gave Morgan a puzzled look and then turned to see what he was staring at. Her mouth formed an O shape when she saw me standing in her doorway. The three of us stood there, staring at each other in silence until I heard a muffled voice.

  “Nine-one-one, what is the nature of your emergency? Hello?” I swore under my breath as I realized that I must have hit send in my surprise and completed the call.

  “I’m sorry, I dialed by mistake. There is no emergency,” I explained quickly.

  I then spent the next several minutes assuring the emergency operator that I was absolutely positive that I wasn’t in any danger, followed up by a lengthy lecture on why it was important to only call nine-one-one in cases of actual emergencies. I hung up, feeling fully chastised and looked back up at the two other people in the room. Neither of them had moved from their spots, but they wore the same confused expressions on their faces.

  “What the hell is going on?” I demanded.

  Mrs. Stevenson’s brow wrinkled and she looked up at Morgan questioningly. It wasn’t until he set them down on the bed that I noticed the hammer and picture frame he’d been holding. What he did next surprised me the most out of everything that night. She smiled as he turned to her and began speaking to her, using sign language.

  “I came to see you and saw your nice neighbor. We started talking and she offered me some iced tea while I waited. I noticed the picture frames she had lying on the kitchen table and offered to hang them for her. I was just getting ready to hang the last one when you showed up,” Morgan explained simply.

  My eyes widened even further when I saw the adoring smile Mrs. Stevenson gave him. I raised my arm to my brow and wiped the sweat from it. I felt like I was losing my mind. Either that or I’d been so tired that I’d slipped and fallen down the stairs after Garrett dropped me off. Maybe that was it; I’d fallen, hit my head and was lying in the hospital in a coma. My parents must be so worried that I’d never wake up, I thought sadly.

  “What are you doing?” Morgan asked, interrupting the devastating thoughts I was having.

  “I got home and saw that Mrs. Stevenson’s door was standing open and I was worried that someone had broken in. I came over to help her,” I explained. Morgan tilted his head and stared down at the object in my hand then his eyes met mine.

  “Let me get this straight. You thought someone had broken in and was doing something to harm your neighbor and you brought a flyswatter?” I noticed the slight trembling of his lips and the way his shoulders had begun to shake. I narrowed my eyes and popped my hip out, giving him my best glare, but all it did was make him howl with laughter.

  I crossed my arms, the flyswatter jutting into the air as I waited for him to finish. Ten hours later, okay maybe it was two minutes, he settled down and began signing to Mrs. Stevenson who was looking at us strangely. I knew the moment she understood because she covered her mouth, her eyes dancing with silent laughter. I stuck my nose in the air with a sniff and rolled my eyes at both of them as Morgan began chuckling again. She wouldn’t be laughing so hard if I’d had to actually save her, and I definitely could have saved her, I thought, soothing my bruised ego.

  “Why doesn’t she like me?” I hadn’t even realized I’d spoken the words aloud until Morgan’s head snapped up and his eyes found mine. His laughter drifted off and his eyes softened as he looked at me then he turned to face Mrs. Stevenson and signed my question to her. She turned to look at me and shook her head, then lifted her hands. Morgan acted as translator, telling me everything she said.

  “She says that she does like you very much and that you’ve always been a nice boy, bringing her mail to her and dropping off groceries. She learned your schedule and would watch for you to make sure you made it home safely each night because you remind her of her son and she worried about you the way a mother does.” Morgan smiled at that. “She was born unable to hear
or speak, but most people don’t bother to learn sign language so she’s found that it’s just easier to keep to herself.”

  “Why did she talk to you?” I looked at Morgan curiously.

  “My charm?” Morgan suggested with a wink. I rolled my eyes even though I knew all too well how very charming the man could be. “Fine, I saw her watching me through the crack in her door and I said hello. She just stared back at me with a blank look so I decided to give signing a chance and just see what would happen. You should’ve seen her eyes light up when she realized I could speak to her. She invited me in and we ended up talking for over an hour. Turns out she’s just a very lonely woman.” My heart hurt at the thought of her being all alone, with no one to communicate with for so many years.

  “You said I reminded her of her son. Where is he?” I asked. Morgan used his hands to ask Mrs. Stevenson and a happy smile spread across her face as she explained that her son had been away at a college in Europe where he’d received a full ride scholarship. When her husband died, her son had almost given up the chance because he worried about his mom, but she’d insisted he go because she didn’t want him to have to take out a bunch of loans if he attended school nearby.”

  She smiled at both of us and then walked over to her bedside table and picked up the book that lay there. She pulled a folded piece of paper out of the book and handed it to me. I read over it and then raised my head, smiling at her. She nodded and smiled back at me.

  “Her son is graduating soon and he’s found a job and a place to live in France. He said there’s room for her as well and that he’ll fly here and get her in a few weeks,” I explained to Morgan. Morgan’s face split into a happy smile.