The State Series Box Set

by M. J. Kaestli

  She feared she was going to go crazy if she didn’t find something else to occupy her time, so she almost jumped off the bed and changed into her exercise clothes, then hurriedly walked out the door. There was a nagging thought in the back of her mind that she should wait for Colin, but she told herself she couldn’t wait for him; if she did, she would be bored, which was the entire purpose for her going to exercise in the first place. A heavy feeling settled into her chest. Her pace abruptly slowed as the realization sank in; she missed him. She wasn’t bored at all. She was simply unsettled because Colin was not with her. She always went to exercise after civil duty, and he was always there when she got back. She didn’t know what to do with herself in that apartment without him.

  That realization made her burst out laughing, and she quickly had to gain control of herself. The last thing she wanted was for the monitors to catch her chuckling like an insane person. I miss him? How is that even possible? The girl who loved to be at home by herself, the girl who had never liked males, the girl who had never wanted to spend any time with other people if she didn’t have to, suddenly could not stand to be home without her partner. Looking back on how things had started between the two of them, it was hard to believe, but once she got over the levity of the situation, a feeling of euphoria settled over her. Freya didn’t know if it was love, but it was definitely something.

  Chapter 11

  Freya fell into her new-but-old routine. She began to go to the exercise facility every day after she completed civil duty. The only difference was that she was spending far less time there. Instead of vigorous, intensive workouts, she only completed the minimum physical activity to stay healthy and meet the State’s fitness requirements. Running was still something she enjoyed, but thirty minutes of it was truly enough. Getting home to spend the remainder of the evening with Colin is what was always at the forefront of her mind. She did love working at the State House, but her thoughts often drifted to Colin throughout the workday.

  Their mornings had changed slightly. Instead of Colin sleeping in while Freya showered first, he started to get up at the same time, with the first alarm, so they could shower together. The first time he walked in and got into the shower rather nonchalantly behind her, it had startled her. After some time, she began to get more comfortable not only with his nudity but her own as well. The shared showers soon became one of her favorite parts of the day. Colin confirmed her original thoughts from back when she had lived in the juvenile housing: Cameras and microphones were not placed in the bathrooms of any home, so on top of it being enjoyable for both of them, the shower was another safe place where they could talk freely.

  After their shower and breakfast, they walked to civil duty together, always hand in hand. Colin always kissed her goodbye and often groped her inappropriately. She had gotten used to that behavior, and it no longer embarrassed her. “If the cameras or any civilians were watching, we might as well give them a good show,” Colin often said, and Freya was starting to agree with that theory.

  She was making great progress with the work assigned to her at the State House. The ecosystem of the grounds had not only remained in good health, but the plants were flourishing. When Freya looked out at the dome structure, she no longer saw a prison, but a utopia. She finally understood the purpose of coupling when reproduction was not required, because being with Colin had somehow helped her find her place in the world. Somehow, he made her fit, and because of him, she felt more comfortable in her own skin.

  Freya often thought about what would have happened if she had been placed in independent living. The State House would still have made her happy, and she could have gone home and done her puzzles and played her solitary games in peace, but there would have been something missing. Before she was placed with Colin, she lived in constant fear. She was afraid of the State, Security, other civilians, and even her own thoughts and feelings. Since Colin had come along, her many anxieties had begun to gracefully fly away, one by one, like feathers on a breeze. Getting to know Victor had helped with those fears, because she now knew the State was not so sinister, that they were not just out looking for people to single out as being noncompliant. They were really there as a means to protect the delicate ecosystem, the one everyone depended on for life. Due to the toxic environment outside the dome, it was necessary to maintain population control. It was necessary to ensure responsibility with their limited resources. Preselected breeding was the best way to ensure the best, healthiest gene pool. Living any other way was not possible, not now.

  Freya was working in the forested areas behind the State House, her favorite spot. She knew there was a glass dome above her to protect her, but it didn’t feel like a cage when she was amongst the trees. Every few years, the trees had to be trimmed. Workers climbed up with ropes and other safety gear and pruned the trees to make sure they did not press against the dome and damage it. She had read reports about that procedure, but she had never seen it with her own eyes before. Once she did, she realized no report could ever do it justice. Even the sheer number of extra bodies that had to pass through the top security measures to gain access to the State House grounds was something to see, let alone watching the men work. There was a line at every access point, workers waiting to palm in for that unique and impressive job.

  “Freya, can you please return to the State House? I was sent to collect you,” said James.

  Freya looked down at her tablet in surprise, as she was entirely unaware that she was supposed to be somewhere else.

  “You didn’t miss anything in your schedule, Freya,” James assured her, in response to her look of puzzlement. “Victor just requests your presence.”

  “Um…okay,” she said, then nodded briefly and began to walk back toward the house. Something just didn’t feel quite right, as Victor never disrupted her work. She could not imagine what Victor wanted with her, but she couldn’t argue with the head of Security any more than she could argue with Victor himself. When she got back to the State House, she took a moment to wash up before going into Victor’s office. She looked in the mirror, took a few deep breaths, then squared her shoulders and walked toward his office.

  “Ah, Freya, just the girl I’ve been looking for,” he said pleasantly. There was something about the expression on his face or the twinkle in his eye that put her at ease. He had a certain composure about him, a friendly and casual demeanor, not at all what one would expect from the man who literally ran the world. “Come in and take a seat.” He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk.

  She remained silent, smiled softly and sat down in front of him. There was always an odd feeling when she was alone with him, which didn’t happen often. Although she was no longer frightened of him, she always waited for him to speak first. He was a kind man, but an aura of power lingered around him, and he commanded respect.

  “Now, I hope you know how much I value the work you do here, Freya. You do know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, Victor. You are always very generous with your compliments.”

  “I also feel you have made more progress with our delicate ecosystem than many who have come before you. You and your work are a real treasure to the State,” Victor added, looking her deeply in the eyes.

  Freya met his gaze but did not respond. He was walking her down a path, and she could not imagine where it was leading or why.

  “It is for this reason that I would like to send you home until the work in the forest is complete.”

  She nearly jumped out of the chair. That was not at all what she expected when she walked into his office. If I’m doing so well, why am I being sent home…and by Victor himself? she thought, but she dared not ask, as she didn’t want to risk sounding noncompliant.

  “Now, Freya, it is nothing to be concerned about,” he said, noticing the look of shock in her eyes. “I know you’re scheduled to work in the gardens, and as always, you are more than caught up on your other duties. I am afraid there is just no work for you to do.”

/>   “Yes, there is,” she exclaimed, then caught herself and tried to calm down.

  It was obviously too late for that, because Victor had already broken into one of his hearty laughs.

  She gave him a moment to finish his chuckles while she regained her composure. “What I meant to say is that even with all the extra people on the grounds, the nature of the work can always use extra hands,” she said, looking down slightly, struggling to meet his gaze even when it was her turn to speak.

  “Of course there is, but I don’t want you to be the one to do it.”

  She finally found the courage to look at him, hoping she would find some meaning in his eyes.

  This time, it was Victor who looked away. He sat back in his chair and continued, “Freya, I realize you don’t understand what I am talking about, and that is one of the reasons I value you so much,” he said, then shook his head slightly and laughed to himself.

  In spite of the small laugh, Freya could tell there was great tension behind his words. Her desire to understand burned inside her, and she couldn’t possibly understand why the head of State was behaving the way he was. She leaned forward slightly, anticipating his words.

  Victor looked at her again and went on, “You are a very intelligent girl, Freya, but there are many things happening in the world that you just don’t understand—a lot of things that we, as a society, would be better off without.” He paused and looked down, then continued to speak. “Not everyone agrees with the government about how we run things, and there is currently a bit of resistance, a rebellion, of sorts, against the State. They are often violent, so I am taking a great personal risk to invite so many workers into this facility for the tree-trimming. If anything was to happen… Well, I cannot risk losing one of my most valuable civilians. I am temporarily sending you away for your own safety, Freya,” he said, then looked at her again, with no smile in his eyes this time.

  Chills ran down her spine. “I don’t understand. How could I be at risk? What do you possibly think could happen?”

  “James seems to think I’m being overly cautious, and perhaps I am, but I see my staff here as family. I have told you that many times, and I mean every word of it. I cannot control what the rebellion will do, but I can take steps to avoid additional casualties, and I want to protect those I hold dear. What can I say? It makes me sleep better at night.”

  “Additional casualties? What does that mean, Victor? What do you expect to happen? What could they possibly do?”

  Victor smiled at her, and a satisfied look crossed his face as he shook his head again. “You are the purest of the pure, Freya. I love that quality about you, and I hope you never change,” he said, then stood. “Now, please go home and enjoy the day and tomorrow as well. Rest up, for there will be an abundance of work for you to do upon your return. The grounds will require a lot of work after all those men are done stomping around out there,” he said, then walked over to the door and gestured for her to leave.

  Freya’s mind was swimming, and she did not understand it, but she also knew she was no longer welcome in his office, and her questions would be left unanswered.

  “Also, I’ve received word that you have not made use of the common rooms yet. Perhaps you should try something else with your free time, other than the physical activity facility. You are in good enough shape already, my dear.”

  Freya nodded to Victor and took her leave. If it was not completely clear before that she was to ask no further questions, his recommendation of the common rooms had set it in stone.

  Before she had even made it out of the State House, Freya knew her destination was not going to be a common room. After a quick change of clothing, she headed off to exercise. Her emotions had moved beyond shock, into hot anger. She decided she did not appreciate Victor treating her like a child. If I’m such a valuable member of the house, part of his family, could he not have the decency to speak to me like an adult? Why would he keep information from me, simply because he deems me pure? The more she replayed the scene in her mind, the angrier she got. Her feet hit the ground in a rhythmic pattern, and her heart pumped hard to keep up with her pace. It had been quite some time since she had run this hard. Once she had settled into a routine with Colin, her exercise had been minimal, nothing so intense; however, now she had a lot of steam to burn off.

  Her mind drifted back to the fights they used to have, back to the time when her runs after civil duty were the norm. Colin used to drive her crazy, and running was her only solace. Her lips formed an involuntary smile as she thought about it. She had been so tough on him, not that he made things easy on himself. Everything he said was idiotic, and she supposed it still was; she was the one who changed, not Colin. Somewhere along the way, she had fallen madly in love with him. The poster child and the babbling idiot? she questioned with a grin, because she never would have seen that coming.

  Poster child. As her mind repeated the words, the heat of her previous anger at Victor began to rise again. His description of her as pure was really no different than what Colin had said about her when they first met. For some reason, Victor felt the need to protect her, and he didn’t seem to trust her, even though she was supposedly the perfect example of compliance. If I’m so compliant, why keep information from me? she wondered.

  The muscles in her legs began to burn as her pace increased. Her lungs felt like fire, but she pushed on, hungry to outrun her rage. The monitor attached to her began to beep, letting her know that her heart rate was too high and her oxygen too low. She knew better than to take the shirt off again, so she continued to run, ignoring the alarm. What can they do to me anyway? Call a doctor? They could not stop her from running, as it was an open track, with no machine for them to shut down remotely. For some reason, running in spite of the alarm felt so satisfying, even when the pain and her legs and lungs began to creep into her sides. The State had control of every other aspect of her life, but they could not stop her from running.

  “It’s not my fault this time, right?” Colin yelled from the side of the track ahead of her.

  Freya jolted back into the present and slowed her pace but didn’t stop running. A grin spread across her face when she saw the concerned look on Colin’s face.

  When she caught up to his spot, he began to jog alongside her. “You okay?”

  “Yep, just wanted to run,” she replied breathlessly.

  “I heard they sent you home early. Perhaps we need to find you a hobby, preferably something that doesn’t alert Security when you get into it.”

  Freya slowed her pace a little more but did not stop completely. She knew she needed to cool down properly, especially since she had not pushed hard for quite some time.

  Colin continued to match her pace as she slowed down. He seemed content to run along beside her, not expecting conversation or an answer as to what was bothering her. She did not know if that was because he didn’t want to talk in front of the cameras or because he’d changed during their partnership. She thought maybe he’d just learned to stop babbling like an idiot about every thought running through his mind. They continued on in silence, first at a light jog, slowing into a brisk walk, and finally moving at a casual pace. When she went to the mats to stretch, he did not follow. Instead, he went to the water station and soon returned to her side, with two full glasses in hand. He let her complete her stretching without joining in, just waiting silently on a mat near her, with her glass of water on the floor beside him.

  After she finished, she gulped down her water, and they walked back to their apartment in silence. He reached out with his index finger for her hand, gently taking hold of just two of her fingers, as if expecting her to pull away. She quickly interlocked her fingers with his, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He still did not engage her, ask any questions, or press her in any way; they just walked wordlessly, hand in hand.

  When they got to the apartment, Freya started to walk into the bedroom, but Colin pulled her toward the bathroom.

  “You stink,�
� he said with a playful grin. “You should take a shower.” Then he started to kiss her in plain view of the cameras.

  Freya kissed him right back, then pulled him into the bathroom. They quickly undressed each other, then stepped into the shower.

  Colin’s hands caressed the sides of her face as he kissed her, and he then moved his lips to her neck, then traveled over to her ear. “What happened today? Did someone threaten you?” he whispered.

  Freya’s head snapped away from his embrace, and she stared at him in shock. “Why do you think anyone would threaten me?” she asked with a little too much volume.