by Lucy Smoke
I nodded. “You can try. Not sure how much that will help though.”
“Want to know the reason you never see me drink?” He asked; his hands stopped on my shoulders.
The randomness of that question surprised me, but I was more than interested in hearing this. I slowly nodded and pulled away from him to lean on the edge of the fireplace.
“When I was a kid, my father was never really in the picture, so my mom raised me on her own,” he started as he sat next to the fire and looked up at me. “She was always doing her best to make ends meet, but that meant she was always gone. I was pretty much left with a babysitter for hours on end, seven days a week.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, preparing myself for what I knew was going to be a hard story by the look on his face. “What happened?” I asked gently.
“I started acting out in school. I felt like she was abandoning me, because I was just too young to understand that she was doing it so I could eat, have a bed to sleep in, and have all those neat action figures she would randomly surprise me with as an apology for being gone. I was slacking in school and starting fights. I had to change schools twice because of it.” His face fell a little more.
“When I turned nine, though, things changed,” he continued. “Mom married a financially stable man, and it all seemed like a great start to a new beginning. She worked less, and I got to have a male figure in my life. I was excited. But, sometimes the nicest of things are simply a mask for what really lies inside.”
My brows pinched in worry. I didn’t like where this was going at all.
“Then what happened?” I prodded softly; my voice almost shook with nerves at what I knew was coming.
“He was an extreme alcoholic with a bad temper. He never took no for an answer. At first, it was just continuous arguments between them. I would throw a pillow over my head and try to drown out their voices while they screamed. But then, things escalated. The fights turned more physical. He’d hit her, and if I tried to stop it, he’d hit me. But then one night, it went even further.”
I covered my mouth with my hand and held my breath, waiting in absolute horror for what would come next in his story.
“He had drunk more than usual, and they got into another fight. I went downstairs because I was worried about my mom. When I got to the bottom of the stairs though, it was to the sight of him stabbing her with a kitchen knife. She died right in front of me.”
“Oh my god… I’m so sorry, Jasper. I can’t even imagine…” My vision blurred as my eyes glassed over. How could someone as light-hearted and funny as Jasper, come out the way he did after seeing something like that.
“The neighbors had called the cops from the noise and they got there before he could get to me. After that it was the foster system. It broke me inside what happened, but I tried to hide it away behind humor. I figured laughing my way through the heart ache was the only way I’d survive it. Drawing had been my escape when I was alone. When I met Tobi and Ezra, it made things hurt less. I liked drawing houses a lot, since mine was never really a happy one. I drew tons of windows, because I figured if there was enough light in them, the darkness wouldn’t seem so suffocating.”
I was in complete shock and honestly had no idea what to say. I fisted a hand over my heart as a few tears slid down my cheek. “That’s why you won’t drink. Because of him.” I paused and suddenly was hit with the memory of how I acted when we first met. “Oh my god!” I slapped my hands to my cheeks. “I was such an asshole to you that one day! How do you not hate me?”
Jasper chuckled and stood. He grabbed my hands from my face and lifted them to his lips, placing delicate kisses on my knuckles. “You didn’t know. I couldn’t have hated you for that if I tried.”
“Still, I’m an asshole.” And I definitely needed to slow down on the drinking. Or, you know, quit all together. Baby steps.
He turned me around and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Yeah, but you’re a caring asshole and I adore the shit out of you.”
I laughed and shook my head. I couldn’t believe myself. His reaction had been so opposite of the way I probably would’ve reacted. I envied him and idolized him all at once. “Shit. Now, I’m sad and freaking out about the show.”
He laughed again. “Yeah, I probably should’ve saved that story. But at least now you know my dark and ugly past. We are all equal now.”
He had a point. “True. But now I don’t even know what to do with myself.”
“Well,” he said; his voice dropped an octave lower. “This is the first time you and I have had any alone time.” He leaned his head over my shoulder and caressed the side of my neck with his lips. “I could think of a few things that could take away the sadness and the anxiety all at once.” His hands slid beneath my shirt to my hips.
“Oh really?” I breathed out, knowing exactly where he was going with this. Which only surprised me more that he could go from something so heavy, to something so seductive.
“Definitely,” he answered huskily. “If anything could bring up either of our moods, it’d be the idea that’s playing on a loop in my brain.”
He nipped at my ear then walked over and grabbed my blanket from the couch, laying it out on the floor in front of the fireplace before returning to his stance behind me.
His hands slid down my back to the hem of my shirt, grabbing the edges. Slowly, he worked my shirt up and off me. He trailed kisses from one shoulder to the other before kissing his way down the rest of my back. I felt him slide his own shirt off and press his lean, muscular chest against my naked back.
His skin never stopped touching mine as he fell to his knees behind me, then reached around and undid the button and zipper on my jeans. I quietly gasped as his hands slid them down my legs. He followed the trail of my jeans with kisses down the back of my thigh before stopping on the back of my knee. His hands ghosted along my flesh as he pulled off my jeans, causing goosebumps to break out everywhere.
“Lift your foot for me,” he commanded gently.
I obliged him without hesitation, letting him undress me at the pace he wanted.
This slow seduction of his was lighting my body up more and more with every gentle caress. I had felt Tobi’s aggressive affection and Ezra’s fiery passion. But Jasper surprised me with his tender, yet deliberate touches. I never expected it to be like this when it was just the two of us.
When I was in nothing more than my matching red, lace bra and panties. His hands gripped my waist and slowly he turned me around. I looked down at him with hooded eyes, ready for whatever he wanted to do with me next.
His hands went to the back of my knees and he tugged, not hard, but enough that it sent me down to straddle his lap.
“That was smooth,” I said with a smile.
“You have yet to see smooth, baby.” He pressed his lips to mine; his arms pulled me closer and his hands dove into my hair.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and held him to me as he lowered me backwards. Somehow, he had snapped the clasps of my bra without me feeling it, and peeled it away from my body as I settled against the soft blanket. The faux fur against my bare skin only heightened the sensations I felt tingling throughout my body.
He lowered himself on top of me, pressing his center against mine as he continued to kiss me. He wasn’t fast or overly zealous; he took his sweet time tasting my tongue on his. I wouldn’t even care if we went any further at this point, as long as he kept kissing me like this. It made my toes curl and my breathing heavy.
He shifted away from me and slipped out of the rest of his clothes. As he finished, he slid one hand from my ankle, all the way up to the edge of my underwear. He pulled them away, the slow act was torturous as my body yearned for his touch and to feel him inside me.
It was crazy how much I started to shake after that. Between how hot he was making me and the roaring fire beside us, I shouldn’t have been shaking. But this wasn’t feeling like the normal sexcapades I had with the guys. This wa
s more than that. And I was scared of it.
Yet, I couldn’t pull myself away to stop. Not with how good my body felt beneath his commanding hands.
He played with me a little, sliding his fingers between my wet folds and biting my sensitive nipples. Every touch was so loving and tender.
“You are a goddess, Lowen Westmon,” he whispered into my ear just before entering me.
I moaned loudly as he began to move. He held onto me tightly, continually kissing me and touching me as he rocked into me over and over again. I heard nothing, but the beating of my own heart. I thought of nothing, but the feel of Jasper’s velvet skin sliding across mine. I saw nothing, but stars swimming across my vision. I was washed away into oblivion as he took me there on the floor beside the fire.
I wished I could admit to myself what this moment truly was, but the words refused to escape the deepest confines of my mind. The fire that built inside of me roared just as brightly as the one that casted shadows across our entangled bodies. I felt the pressure build as electricity flowed between our bodies. Whatever Jasper was igniting in me was more than the need to have fun – the three of them had opened a floodgate inside of me and released things I had never felt before. Things I didn’t want to feel.
With that I felt the tightened coil inside of me snap, and I called out his name as he drove into me one last time.
All too soon, it was over.
We had barely finished dressing when Tobi called asking if we were on the road yet. Surprisingly, Jasper kept it to himself on why we were late, confirming that this moment meant more to him than just a quickie.
As we stepped into the snow from the stairway to head to my Jeep, I was so busy thinking about what happened, that my foot caught a patch of slick ice. I felt like a cartoon character as I tried to catch myself, arms wind milling in the air. Unfortunately, I didn’t. My legs flew out from under me and I went down onto my ass, groaning in pain at the hard landing. Jasper had been too far ahead to catch me in time, but instead of helping me, he began to laugh.
“Would you shut up and help me up?” I seethed at him. I sounded madder than I intended, but I was pretty sure it was my mind rebelling against the thoughts that kept popping up about what just happened.
“I’m sorry,” he chuckled, walking over to help me up. “Are you okay?”
I glowered at him, but quickly recovered. Just as he leaned down and held a hand out for me, I grabbed his hand and pulled him down next to me. Only, he didn’t land on the ice like I did; he ended up slipping and face planting into the snow.
It was my turn to laugh as he lifted himself to his knees.
"Oh no you didn't," Jasper said slowly, wiping the snow from his face and flicking it away.
“Your face … is priceless! Karma is a bitch, isn’t it?” I asked him through my laughter.
My laughter died quickly when I saw a mischievous look take over Jasper’s face. He scooted closer to me on his hands and knees, prowling like a panther stalking its prey.
I tried to crawl backwards away, but he snagged my ankle and slid me to him.
“You can’t just start a war and not finish it, Low,” Jasper said with a wicked grin.
I got no warning before a huge glob of snow was shoved up the back of my shirt. I yelped and jumped up from the ice. I danced around trying to get as much of it out as possible, but it was too late. My entire back and ass were now completely soaked through.
“That was a cheap fucking shot!” I bellowed at him before bending down to make a snowball.
“You’re just mad I had you wrapped around my little finger. You don’t start a fight with me and expect to come out a winner!” He started gathering up his own snow.
With an almighty battle cry that would’ve made my dad proud, I ran at him.
Complete chaos ensued as we fought each other with snowball after snowball. It was the most fun I had in a long time and by the end of it, I was just so happy, I didn’t even care how unbelievably soaked I was. This was what I needed to get the frustration of what I was feeling out. Anything to help keep away feelings I didn’t want to face at bay.
Jasper was finally the one to call it quits, grabbing me up and over his shoulder to throw me into my jeep. He hopped into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine then turned the heater on full blast.
“You’re not even going to let me change before we go?” I asked him.
“No time! Tobi will kill us if we’re late.”
I gave him a pout as my body shook, the heat of the Jeep not warming me fast enough. I wouldn’t have started anything had I known I wouldn’t get to change out of my wet clothes beforehand.
“Nope! You should’ve thought about that before starting a snowball fight,” he teased with a smile as he shrugged off his jacket then handed it over. “But, I’ll give you my jacket to warm you up faster.”
Fuck new clothes! This works.
I stole the guy’s jackets frequently when I was too lazy to go search out my own. I always felt safe in theirs. I couldn’t help bringing the edge of the jacket to my nose and subtly smelling the musky cologne on the leathery material, memorizing the spicy scent as Jasper drove us towards the city. Jasper never smelled bad.
It was then as we drove, that the reality of them leaving hit me.
I hated to admit it, but I’d miss having them close. I’d miss having them at all. I knew once they went back to their regular lives after the holidays, we wouldn’t see each other anymore. That was what I wanted when we agreed to everything. No attachments. Just fun. But then what happened with Jasper by the fire was starting to make me rethink everything I’d said I wanted.
I just didn’t know if that was good or bad.
9
“Shaq”
I couldn't believe what I was seeing when Jasper and I walked into the venue.
The building looked a lot bigger inside than it did outside. The ceilings were vaulted and at least five stories high. White Christmas lights were strung around large pillars that lined the room. There were at least six Christmas trees, hundreds of red bows and wreaths hung around the room and everything smelled like brown sugar and cinnamon.
The guys had obviously not spared an expense making this place breathtaking. If it wasn't for the stage covered in fake snow that was at the back of the room, I never would've guessed a strip show was about to go down. There were hundreds of tables set up all around the middle of the room and chairs set up along the stage next to the wide catwalk that jutted out from it.
The teams that would be dancing were milling about the room; some of which were in an array of costumes from red leather Santas, to speedo wearing elves. Very few were still in regular clothes. But all of them were just as sexy as the three men I'd been sharing the cabin with. It was a bit intimidating being the only female moving through the crowd as Jasper tugged me towards the back where a set of doors led to behind the stage.
Tobi and Ezra were talking to some of the stage crew when we entered. Tobi gave an exaggerated sigh and looked up as if thanking God, we'd made it. I was thankful when I saw there were two women in the stage crew. It meant I wasn't completely surrounded.
Ezra scooped me up for a hug and kissed me quickly. "About time you two made it. We were worried you wouldn't get here in time to get you all sexied up."
"I'm already sexy. You didn't need to worry about that," Jasper responded smugly.
"He didn't mean you dumbass," supplied Tobi who grabbed me then hugged and kissed me as well. His kiss was a bit more searing than and not nearly as quick as what Ezra had given me.
I grinned like an idiot when he released me. "You can blame Jas for our late arrival. He decided to pick a snowball fight."
"I was going to ask why your clothes were damp," Ezra said before shooting Jasper a scolding look.
"She started it not me. I just finished it," Jasper defended with his hands held up.
"Which he liked reminding me the whole way here," I added and stuck my tongue out at him.
He snapped his teeth at me. "Woman, don't tease me right now. Tobi will be pissed if we disappear out of this room before you've gotten ready."
"Yes, I will. You," Tobi said to me pointedly. "Meet Mindy and Grace. They're going to do your hair and makeup." He motioned to the two girls standing off to the side. They gave me with friendly smiles as they shook my hand. "Girls," he said to them. "Make her look hotter than she already is please. The works."
"You got it!" The one name Mindy said before she grabbed my shoulders and steered me towards another room off to the side.
Oh, lord ... what had I gotten myself into?
An hour later, I was finished having my face washed, scrubbed, plucked and made up. My hair was done in full curls that gave my normally flat hair a shit ton more volume than it was used to. I was relatively impressed with what those girls had done. My hair shined more, and my face looked sculpted from stone by how smoothly they'd contoured it. My eyes were smoky with thick, fake lashes added. My cheekbones shimmered like they were made of glass from the glitter they put on them. My lips were painted blood red with a lipstick I was sure I'd have to use acetone to remove. And finally, after getting my full outfit put on, my skin that wasn't covered was dusted with silver glitter powder, giving it an added shimmer.
Thigh high, red and white striped stockings were added into my outfit, along with red stiletto pumps that I was terrified to even walk in. I'd heard the show begin halfway through getting ready and knew I didn't have long before the guys came looking for me. The sounds of music and women screaming could be heard like an avalanche from the little dressing room I was in. It seemed weird I'd be performing in front of so many women, but the guys had assured me that there were men out there as well. Most of them were most likely gay, but my part would still be appreciated by the few who weren't.
I was scared to show the guys how I looked, but I had a feeling they'd like what the girls had done. I took a deep breath and threw on my Santa robe before stepping from the room. I quickly found the guys standing by a group waiting for their turn on the stage. It wasn't until I was halfway across the room that Ezra noticed me first. His jaw dropped. He elbowed Jasper next to him, who also gaped. Tobi turned noticing the looks on both their faces. I'd never seen Tobi look surprised before. It was a damn good look on him.
