Break the Faith
Page 13
“Do you like being a banker?” she asked Lindy.
“I do, but it can be stressful at times. It’s fast-paced, but I get to help a lot of good people. So I enjoy it.”
Since finding out Hobby Lobby wasn’t hiring, Myra had been curious about other jobs that she might like to try.
“A lot of math, huh?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Never mind,” Myra relented.
It made me chuckle under my breath, and I cleared my throat to hide my amusement at her disdain for numbers.
Fiona jogged past us to the double glass doors. “Good evening, everybody. Hope you weren’t waiting long.”
We assured her we hadn’t, and then she let us in.
Myra was right. It was perfect. The showroom was spacious and bright with all the windows up front. There were a few office-style rooms down the hall, a break room, and then a massive warehouse. The back corner still had rows of tall shelving units, and the giant room would be ideal for building. Even though it was empty, I looked across it, completely able to envision where different tools and machinery could go.
My designs were mostly simple with clean, contemporary lines. At first, because they were the easiest to make quickly, but then it became sort of my style. Here in this space, and if I was eventually able to hire a few extra hands, maybe I could invest in new tools and expand even more.
Just the daydream of it had my pulse racing and my stomach in knots. A few months ago, taking such a big risk wouldn’t have been as scary.
I wasn’t alone anymore. I wanted to provide for Myra and give her the best life she could imagine.
“What do you think?” I asked her when she turned back around after looking at the gigantic dock doors.
She glanced over at Lindy and Fiona who were talking by the small warehouse office. When she saw that they weren’t paying attention, her face twisted up in the toothiest smile. Her beautiful head went up and down slowly, and she mouthed, “Yes.”
I took a deep breath and quickly blew, trying to reign in my nerves.
“Abe, if you’d like to have an engineer or any inspections done that we haven’t already provided, you’re welcome to have access to the building whenever you need it. We’re only right down the street,” Fiona said. “Whatever we can do for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Price wise, we’re prepared to go as low as eighty thousand on the property just to get it off the books. Like I told you, this is a special circumstance because of how we acquired the property. The appraisal came back well over double that amount. Even if you decide to buy it, you could just turn around and re-sell it if you wanted. Even if you don’t want to open your store here, it could be a very profitable investment property.”
I trusted Lindy. I believed she was fair and dedicated to downtown Fairview thriving.
From out of nowhere, Myra spoke up. “Seventy-seven. Five.”
Three pairs of eyes swung to my girl who was holding her head as high as I’d ever seen it.
I guess we were doing this. Biting back my grin, I repeated her offer to a smiling Lindy. “Seventy-seven. Five.”
Seemingly amused, our banker countered. “Eighty, but how about we agree to cover the closing costs which are a few thousand. What about that?”
My eyes darted back to Myra. This was it.
She was beaming and if getting this building and going for it made her this happy, how could I refuse.
“I think it’s a deal.” I held my hand out to Lindy and then to Fiona.
Then I took a step toward my girl, but she was already leaping into my arms.
“You did it. All of this is yours.”
Had it not been for avoiding Myra by hiding out in the shop when she first came, and then for her staying at the Griers when she needed the space to figure out what she wanted, I never would have made as many pieces as I had that summer. In turn, I never would have sold as many and been able to save as much money as I had.
“We did it,” I corrected. “All of this is ours.”
I SIGNED THE PAPERS and told Lindy about leaving town for the next few weeks on a big job. She said she’d be as flexible as I needed with the closing date, but that I was welcome to come by for the keys if I needed them for anything.
Minutes later, we were walking out of the building commercial property owners—well, technically it was just me, but I’d share everything I had with the woman beside me.
Inside the truck she slid to the center and kissed me as she laughed. “It’s so wonderful. What a blessing,” she said. I hadn’t heard her speak like that in a long time. She hadn’t mentioned God, or prayer, or anything holy for weeks aside from my father’s office.
I couldn’t argue though, I felt one hundred percent blessed.
When she climbed back to her side and fastened her seat belt, a couple in front of the neighboring store caught her eye. They were young and clearly in love, pointing at jewelry through the glass, holding on to each other, and laughing.
Glancing back and forth, from them to her, I noticed a lot of the joy she’d been wearing on her face had fallen away. Did she feel differently about marriage now? Or, rather, what did she think about marriage at all?
“Are you okay?” I asked before backing out onto the street.
Instantly, she brightened. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s celebrate and go out for dinner.”
Whatever it was she was thinking about, she hid it. That was fine for now, but I didn’t want to wait long wondering if there was something else on her mind.
“Basil & Company?” I asked. It was becoming our favorite place to go the few times we dined away from home.
“That’s what I was going to say. We’re already downtown. Just think, when you open, you can run down there for lunch sometimes.”
Of course that would be handy in a pinch, but I was fond of our leftovers. “Maybe, but it wouldn’t be the same without you.”
That pleased her, and over the console, she reached for my hand.
THE RESTAURANT WAS busy, but we still got one of the tables we liked in the patio area. Since the weather had turned colder, they’d covered the open-air space’s ceiling with a thick canvas, and instead of umbrellas peppering the patio, there were domed upright heaters to take the chill off.
Truthfully, it was just as comfortable outside as it was in, but it had been one of the warmer days we’d had in the past week.
She ordered the Rosé which was one of the two standard drinks she ordered. The other was whatever beer I got, and that night I went with one of my favorites, a local porter. Halfway through the appetizer board we often got, Myra went silent again.
Sometimes I was patient and waited for her to open up, but sometimes I just wanted to know what was weighing on her. Especially on a night like this when she’d been so happy earlier. Therefore, I moved my chair closer to hers and leaned in so I didn’t have to speak over the acoustic player on stage.
“Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?” I asked and then popped the last black olive in my mouth.
Her eyes went wide. She was so busted.
“I’m not sure it’s anything, really. I think I’m just being petty and silly. Probably ungrateful too.”
My brows pinched together. “Why would you think that? That doesn’t sound like you.”
She sat back in the patio chair, hands clasped on her lap, and began to fidget.
“I guess there are just things that maybe I missed out on. We missed out on.”
I sat forward careful to give her space if that’s what she wanted, but I needed to touch her, and so I put a hand on her bouncing leg. “What’s my girl missing?”
“It sounds so vain. And selfish.”
“Hey, don’t do that to yourself. If you want anything, all you have to do is say it. I’ll give it to you, or I help you get it yourself.”
The corners of her mouth tipped up. “That’s very sweet, but I read somewhere that men don’t like to hear about these things.”
She sighed, her blue eyes still wide, and looked at her hands.
“Please tell me,” I said.
“It sounds so dumb, because of where we’re from, and how we got together in the first place, but I don’t know...” she trailed off and still wouldn’t meet my eyes. It was reminiscent of when she first came to the cabin.
“Look at me.” Her gaze slowly rose to mine. “You can tell me anything.”
Her shoulders fell, and she surrendered. “If we were just a normal couple, and we’d never grown up in Lancaster—heck, if I’d never grown up there. You were already out. But if we were just a man and a woman who grew up in Fairview, like Chris and Ashley or that couple in front of the jewelry store, we would have gotten to celebrate so much. We never had a graduation. Or a prom. We never even got engaged like regular people do. I have this ring on that doesn’t mean what I want it to, and we have a marriage certificate, but that wasn’t a real wedding. I know it’s all superficial, and it said online that guys don’t want pressured into stuff like proposals. It’s just...I’m not sure where we are. Are we dating? Married? Engaged? None of the stuff that happened in Lancaster feels like us. It doesn’t feel real, and I want us to be real. I want happy memories for us.”
God, thank you for her.
I put her hands in mine and she scooted closer, and then pulled her hands away. With her right hand, she slipped the band from her ring finger.
“I don’t even want this. It only reminds me of bad things. Of being pawned off. Of being not worthy of a choice. Of you putting it on my finger just to save me from a horrific life. And thank you for doing it because I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. But I don’t want this anymore. I want something that’s just ours. Something that means something to us when the time is right.”
She placed the gold ring in my hand.
“If you want to wear it around your neck or if you feel differently, that’s okay. But you asked, and that’s what I’ve been thinking about.”
“I don’t think it’s silly or selfish. Thank you for telling me.” I swallowed and sat back in my seat.
There are days to play it safe. Days to avoid risk and wait for a better, more sure time.
That was not today.
19
Myra
I felt relief after getting some stuff off my chest, and maybe a tad guilty too because I didn’t want to spoil the mood of his big day. He’d worked so hard for so long on that dream, and now it was right in front of him.
So after I told him what was on my mind, I asked him to dance. I don’t think either of us were particularly great at it, but I didn’t think that was the point. To me, dancing with somebody—from what little bit I knew about it—was about being in sync with someone. Taking steps together. Sharing a tiny scrap of time and moving to the same beat.
That cool autumn evening, Abe held me in his arms and swayed with me to a beautiful song. The guitarist and singer said it was his favorite one by Ross Copperman called Hunger.
I had to agree. It was lovely.
There was something magical in the way Abe held onto me. His big hands around my waist and back. He smelled like the woods and soap, and his chest was warm against my cheek. I enjoyed how small he made me feel. It gave me such a valued sense of protection and security.
Abe was this giant of a man, yet he was delicate with me at times. Tender and caring. And in the moments of passion when his raw power broke through, it only made me desire him more.
I loved him and as we danced around the restaurant’s concrete patio, I wondered if he felt love for me as strongly as mine was for him. My heart didn’t need an answer though because the thought that he might made it flutter and beat faster.
When the tune finished, his grip loosened, and I pulled back. The music had stopped but there was a tapping coming from somewhere. Without asking out loud what it was, Abe’s hazel eyes looked above our heads at the canopy Matteo and Travis had installed.
“Want to go home before it really comes down?” he asked.
The ceiling looked like it would protect us from a few sprinkles, but if a downpour came along, we’d get soaked.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
I followed him to the table where he left an additional tip, then he held out his hand for me to take. I laced my fingers with his and we walked through the restaurant and out to the truck. On the ride home, I searched for the song we’d danced to. I found it, played it again, and saved it to my playlist.
Lightening lit the sky, and the thunder came soon after, telling me the storm was getting close. Like he sometimes did when we had a lot of groceries to pack in or when it was raining, he pulled the truck up close to the front porch so we wouldn’t have so far to go.
The ran came down in sheets as soon as he turned the ignition off, and I sprung from the cab to get under the roof fast as I could. Since we hadn’t taken my car, I’d left my keys on the island, so I had to wait for him in the porch light.
When I noticed he wasn’t right behind me, I turned back to the pickup.
Out in the rain, on one knee on the tiny sidewalk, Abe looked up at me smiling ear to ear.
“What are you doing? You’re crazy. Get up.” He was going to be soaked to the bone.
“I’m not good at this, but I have to do it right now.” He looked down and drew a deep breath as I walked closer to the steps. “You’re the most kind, loving, and beautiful person I’ll ever know. The second my eyes found you, you were seared somewhere inside me. You impress me. You teach me. And you’ve shown me what it means to love unconditionally.”
I’d never seen him like that, and it could have been the chill of the rain and wind, but he was shaking. He paused and laughed, and then beamed up at me with glassy eyes. Before me, he held out a small black box.
“Will you please, please, let me try to make you happy for the rest of my life? Will you please let me be your husband? Will you marry me—for us, for real?”
Breathless, I nearly slipped down the stairs. Then I fell to my knees in front of him. My eyes burned hot and my chin was about to quiver off my face.
Thankfully, he continued because I couldn’t speak.
“The only reason I give a damn about these bands around my neck,” he said as he pulled the necklace out of his shirt, showing me sometime that night he’d strung them both on the silver chain again. “Is because they brought me to you, but earlier when you said you wanted something just for us, you were right, and I need that too. So here is a real engagement ring for my girl.”
He opened the box and my heart stopped. Inside was a clear, square stone surrounded with tiny versions of itself. It looked like a fancy, shimmering pillow as lightening flashed behind Abe’s back.
I sat on my heels, not able to hold my weight under such a huge moment in time.
I stared at the box and then I looked up at him, drenched and shaking the water from his face and hair.
How did women handle all this? I’d never felt so much all at once.
“I don’t know what to say,” I shouted over the thunder rolling in the distance.
“Say yes, baby. Just say yes.”
“Yes!”
He ripped the ring from the cushion, threw the box somewhere in the yard, lifted my left hand, kissed the knuckle on my ring finger, and then slipped the ring over it. Then we crashed into each other, an embrace so tight I could barely draw breath. I cried tears of pure joy that seemed to leak from every inch of my blissful body.
“I love you so much,” he said, nearly growling it into my ear. Just then he pulled back and slipped his hand into my soggy hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me back so that we were face to face. “You make me so damn happy. Do you know that? Do I tell you that enough?”
“Show me.” I don’t know where the words came from because I didn’t need him to prove anything. But in that mome
nt, like the song said earlier, I burned for him and never wanted it to go out.
That night was special, maybe the most special I’d ever had.
I was the luckiest woman, but I couldn’t give luck all the credit.
During that crazy storm, Abe showed me his love for hours on end with his body, his strong hands, and his mouth. And later, as I gave the sleeping man one last look before blowing out the candle we’d lit when the power went out, I had to admit I’d been truly blessed.
MY PHONE WAS RINGING somewhere in my purse, and I faintly remembered Abe tossing it on the couch when he carried me inside the night before. As I threw a t-shirt over my head and jogged into the living room, I stretched my neck and I retrieved it from my bag.
“Hello,” I answered and cleared my throat.
“Did I wake you up? Oh my God. Do you have any damage out there?” Ashley sounded like she’d been up a lot longer than I had. “Half our tree fell. It almost hit our car port, but it missed. Don’t worry. Why are you still in bed? I thought you got up at like four every day.”
I carried my cell with me as I tiptoed into the kitchen to start the coffee.
“We were up late,” I said not thinking about what it implied.
“Because of the storm or...”
I laughed because she was so nosy, but I kind of enjoyed it too. “Or. And also—” I paused, unsure if I should say something and because I wasn’t sure how to say it.
Holding the phone against my ear with my shoulder, I didn’t hear Abe come up behind me. He placed a quick kiss on my neck and took over with the decanter full of water.
“Also? You can’t stop there? Also what?”
“Sorry, Abe just walked in.”
“Oh, you don’t want to talk about it around him. That’s okay. Is it girl talk? I get it.”
I chuckled again as he leaned against the counter, shirtless and squinting at me. So I mouthed, “Ashley.”
“No. No, it’s nothing like that. I just didn’t know if I should say anything or if it was just between me and him.”