Break the Faith

by M. Mabie

  He made an adorable face and pointed to his ring finger. I nodded.

  Quietly, he said, “Tell whoever you want.”

  I wiggled on the stool, happy and excited for whatever was to come. “Abe gave me a real engagement ring last night.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Chris!” she shouted to her husband. “Chris, Abe gave Myra an engagement ring.” She laughed and said something that I didn’t catch. “Yeah, you two probably weren’t paying any attention to that storm. You were getting the real good D.”

  My friend giggled, and so did I. I’d been around her long enough to pick up on what she was saying, and she wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t going to say anything.

  “Do you need help with that tree mess?” As I asked her, Abe pointed through the window over the sink at something in the yard. I stood on the bottom rung of the stool to see what it could be. We didn’t have any limbs down that I could find, but the creek, that was usually not much more than a trickle near the house, was roaring down by the meadow. “Oh my goodness.”

  “What?”

  “Our creek. It’s like a river.”

  “Oh shit. The news warned there could be flash flooding.”

  I’d made it a point to not watch the news since the night I watched the story on those innocent children being hurt, but maybe it was time I sucked it up and did it anyway. I couldn’t hide from the world’s ugliness and pretend it didn’t exist anymore.

  That wasn’t who I wanted to be. I was stronger than that.

  “We have to go to town later anyway, what about if we come over and Abe can help Chris with that limb?”

  As he poured our coffee he nodded, approving the idea. I knew he wouldn’t mind. He’d be angry if they didn’t let him help. It was just the way he was.

  “Yes, please. Chris with a chainsaw is terrifying. He gets this look in his eye.” She makes a shuddering sound and groans. “He needs supervision.”

  Surely, she was joking. After all, he worked at a lumber mill.

  “We’ll be there in a little while.”

  “Sounds good. See you then. I can’t wait to see that ring. I’m really happy for you both.”

  I was happy for us too.

  I HELD VIOLET WHILE Ashley answered her door. She ordered us all Chinese food for helping. Dori and Ted were outside with the guys. After our crazy week, being around these people, even for a less than ideal reason, made me feel so at home and comfortable.

  Gently bouncing the sweet baby girl in my arms, I felt even more certain I’d made the right choice to put a pin in babies of my own for a while. Although I loved children, I wanted to be ready. There would probably never be a perfect time but getting my feet under me first would only make me a better mother.

  Her tiny fingers wrapped around my pinky as I stared at my beautiful ring for the hundredth time that day. Abe would be a wonderful father, and I didn’t doubt that when he wanted to start a family, he’d tell me.

  For now, we had a lot on our plates. For starters, the new store, which as far as I knew Abe hadn’t told them about yet. And I had to figure out a way to fast-track my GED. The next week was science, but after that I’d have two whole weeks where I didn’t need to attend class.

  Not far from the front of my mind was Lancaster.

  I wasn’t sure how I would help or bring change, but the urge to do something only grew stronger. However, I had to be patient. There was no way change would happen overnight. Especially not there.

  Ashley sorted through the cartons and set out plates, napkins, and plastic forks. “Food’s here,” she called out their patio door. “Care if I make a plate before Dad steals all the rangoon?”

  I was perfectly content holding Violet. “Go ahead. We’re fine. Aren’t we?” In fact, the precious girl was almost asleep in my arms. It was so funny what babies could sleep through. Three chainsaws going like mad outside and she was nodding off like nothing was happening. But on the flip side, a sneeze from a room away could startle a little one out of sleep as if it were a fire alarm.

  The tree team filed in and headed for the sink to wash up.

  “So have you two thought about where you might have a ceremony or a reception or both?” Dori asked, ripping a paper towel from the roll.

  I was hesitant to speak up. I didn’t have a clue where one would do such a thing, and I didn’t want to disturb Violet.

  “We haven’t talked about it yet. I just gave her the ring last night,” Abe answered and winked at me from across the room where he waited his turn at the faucet. “But I’ve thought about it, so maybe at the cabin or the church I’ve been going to.”

  He didn’t talk much about the services he attended, but it wasn’t hard to tell, by how relaxed he was when he came home after, that he enjoyed attending the small church just inside Fairview.

  I drove past it on the way to class every day. It was called The Love House, and the sign said that it was a non-denominational place of worship that welcomed everyone.

  I’d never been, so I’d have to trust him if that was something he wanted. But having a small ceremony at the cabin and then a celebration there might be fun. Especially since the shop would most likely be empty by the time we got around to it. All his tools, lumber, and machinery would be at the new building by then.

  I loved that he’d already thought about it.

  “Oh, Abe. We’re pulling out of town around three tomorrow. That’s what I told the guys. Figured I’d see you here. That work for you?” Ted asked.

  Abe was lathering his hands, but even watching his back was all the reaction I needed to see. He took a big breath and then straightened. “Three sounds good,” he answered.

  I didn’t want him to leave, but it was his job and I respected that. I hated the thought of not seeing him for days and days.

  I’d be missing him by three-oh-one tomorrow.

  Still, we’d been apart before and came out the other side closer. We’d even spent nights apart by choice for a while, and even though it had only been a few days of sleeping in the same bed permanently, I could tell the space apart had done us some good.

  Because now we were together, and there was no doubt that it was a choice.

  I never had choices before and now I had so many. Everything was a choice.

  So even if I wasn’t looking forward to being apart from him, I’d chose to keep my head up and see the positives. He was starting his own business and maybe that would mean not many of these long trips out of town. Or possibly in the future, I might go with him—depending on what I found to do for work. And this was a huge job for the Griers’ mill. I was happy for them too.

  Abe walked over to me, and we gazed down at sleeping Violet.

  I whispered, “I’m going to go lay her down,” to Ashley. My friend pouted at the sheer cuteness of her totally passed out daughter.

  But before I turned to leave the room, Abe quietly clapped his hands together for me to pass her to him. “Go get a plate. I’ll put her down in her crib.”

  It seemed silly to pass off a sleeping baby to someone else just for him to put her down. Odds favored the notion she’d wake up. Yet, he was so handsome and willing to help that I couldn’t resist.

  I’d read a quote on Pinterest that said something like men stand tallest when stooping to help children. Watching him, I found that to be true.

  As if it were old hat, he scooped her up and took her away. She was none the wiser. You’d think he had done it a million times. I suppose there was a lot to be said about a man with confident hands.

  Eventually, we were all around their six-person dining room table, which fit us perfectly, and we ate like a family. Like always, the Griers poked fun at one another and went on about the most random things. I wasn’t great at conversations like that, but I liked to listen and sometimes I learned things I never knew I needed to know. For example, the fact that some perfumes have whale poop in them, which Chris found fascinating enough to bring up at the table.

  Just as I was
taking my last bite, Abe stretched and draped his arm across the back of my chair.

  “You know what sounds good right about now?” Ted asked, rubbing his belly. “Some of Myra’s raspberry stuff.”

  20

  Abe

  My girl choked, and I had to pat her on the back.

  Ted handed Myra the bottle of water she’d sat between them. “Oh damn, kid. Get a drink before you die.”

  It was a naughty secret, and her blush wasn’t from the coughing fit.

  “You’re right,” I replied. “She needs to make that again soon.” I leaned into her shoulder as she stared at me, wiping the tears away from her bugged-out eyes. “It’s my favorite.”

  When she got it together, she offered to make a new dessert she’d found. I couldn’t blame her for not making it for anyone else again. She was bright red thinking about what we did with the last one.

  The joke was on me, because after a having thought about that scene in our kitchen, it came to mind all too often through the rest of that evening.

  After the wood was cut and stacked in our truck beds—split between Ted and I, since Chris and Ashley didn’t have a working fireplace—we headed home as it got dark.

  I hadn’t planned to spend a whole day listening to Chris and Ted give each other hell. In less than twenty-four hours, I’d have weeks of that ahead.

  All I wanted to do was go home, maybe have a drink with Myra, and spend some time with her before I had to leave. I wasn’t looking forward to the trip. It would be long days, doing back breaking work, followed by embarrassingly lonely nights.

  I’d worry about it later though. I was there with her now.

  Settled inside, she changed into my gray sweats and a worn-thin V-neck. She was right about that article she’d read all those weeks ago. I loved seeing her in my things. I wasn’t sure if it was the androgyny of it or how petite my over-sized things make her look. Maybe it was just her.

  While she got changed, I gathered some kindling I’d collected and put it in the wood stove.

  Hair all pulled to one side, she strolled back into the living room where I was and went straight for the bookcase. “Better not forget your new book. You’ll get bored.”

  “I’ll be bored anyway. Staying at a hotel, for nights on end, is torture sometimes. I hate not getting things done around here. All I’ll think about is what I could be doing at home.” I was ahead in the shop, but that wouldn’t last long. Especially since we’d went to Lancaster last weekend. Plus, I’d been busy and distracted by a blue-eyed, blond haired woman all that week.

  “I’ll keep the place up. You can trust me. It’ll be fine.” She fell into the corner of the sofa and tucked one foot under herself.

  “I trust you. Think you’ll get bored?”

  She was just like me. Nose to the grindstone. I doubt she’d have a spare second the whole time I was on the road.

  “I’ll try not to. Won’t be hard. I bought some things at Hobby Lobby to play with, I have a laundry list of blankets and clothes to make for people. School work. Looking for a tutor—because there must be someone else who can do it. And Ashley and Violet aren’t too far if I get lonesome. I’ll visit them.”

  “Could you try to miss me a little?” I teased, threw the long match in the fire, and then climbed on the couch with my girl, laying across her lap even though my feet were left to dangle off the other end.

  She ran her fingers through the front of my hair, and God it felt good. “I’ll miss you the whole time. I don’t like being away from you, but we’ll be okay. You’ll come back.”

  “I will.”

  “Maybe the time will go fast because we’ll both be so busy.”

  I didn’t want her to be sad, but damn. “Why do you have to be so practical?”

  “Why not? You’re not going away because you want to be away from me. It’s for work. Unless you need a break? Are things going too fast for you? A lot has happened in the last week or so.”

  I shook my head and looked at her upside down. “No. No break needed. I finally just got invited back to the bed.”

  When she laughed, my head bounced against her stomach.

  “True. Should we sleep apart tonight, just to get used to it again?”

  “Hell no. I’m sleeping where you’re sleeping. I’m putting my foot down.”

  The challenge had her mouth hanging open. “Oh, your foot, huh? What if I put my foot down?”

  “My foot’s bigger,” I countered. Then I lifted my leg and wiggled my bare toes.

  “You’ve never struck me as a put-your-foot-down sort of man before. Is this a new thing?” It had taken her sometime to pick up on sarcasm, but she was mastering it all the same. I didn’t care if we turned the tv or the radio on, I could talk to her all night and never tire of it.

  “I’m usually not, but I’ve always been a get-what-I-want kind of man.”

  “I’ve noticed that about you. I think it’s sexy.” Of all the words in the English language, hearing sexy fall from her lips was erotic. She continued, “We have that in common. Recently, I’ve become a get-what-I-want woman.”

  “Really? Tell me more about that.”

  “Well, I wanted you to sleep in the bed and now you do. Guess I put my foot down.”

  “I guess you did.”

  Her fingernails scraped across my scalp and it made my eyelids heavy. Out of nowhere, a thought occurred to me. “Will you take my last name?”

  She’d been going by Fox at the bank and at school, which I completely respected. Make no mistake, Hathaway wasn’t really a name I was proud of, but it was mine, and I would share with her whatever she wanted.

  “Yeah,” she answered, and her eyes shined. Leaning forward, she kissed my lips and the sensation of our mouths being in opposite directions was odd, but kind of cool.

  “Thank you for asking me.” She sat back and one of her hands found my chest. “When I was at the Griers, I didn’t know what was going to happen, so I used my maiden name for things. I was confused and didn’t know what you or I wanted, and Jacob was gone. Although I don’t really think about my time with him anymore.”

  She never spoke about it either.

  “You don’t?”

  “No. It seems like another life. I was a different person. It’s crazy how fast someone can change, isn’t it?”

  “Not when they want to, it’s not.”

  “I didn’t even know I wanted to though.” She scanned around the room, and I watched her think through what she was trying to say. “I had no idea this life was possible. Or the idea that men like you were out there. I didn’t even dream of getting an education or a job or money of my own to do with as I wished. You’ve changed my life so much.”

  I had to correct her, “No, you did. You chose to leave. The same as I did.”

  “I left because I thought it was what God wanted me to do. I thought he orchestrated it all to put us together. Heck, who knows? Maybe he did. Or maybe it was something else that brought us together.” Her hands stopped rubbing me as she pondered such a huge concept. One that people for ages and centuries have debated. Then, after a bit, she added, “You know what? I suppose it doesn’t matter who gets credit or how it happened. I’m just glad that it did.”

  I was fine to accept the way she thought, but I had my own theories. I believed it was probably more than one thing that pointed me in her direction. Good. Evil. Free will. Fate. God.

  She was right though. It didn’t matter. I was thankful for it all and wouldn’t change a thing.

  WE HUNG OUT ON THE couch through two bundles of firewood. Talking and laughing. Touching and kissing. For hours and hours, we talked about things we wanted to try and places we wanted to travel someday. I was surprised when she told me she wanted to visit Waco, TX. She told me it wasn’t only because of the history of what happened there with a cult she’d learned about, but also because it was close to a store owned by a couple in one of her favorite television shows.

  I had to agree; it didn
’t sound like a bad trip. One day, we’d go. After all, we were a couple who got what they wanted.

  It was one of those nights that sticks with a person. Real quality time.

  And when we both got sleepy, and the conversation seemed to burn out like the oak in the stove, we went to bed.

  It was the best sleep I’d get for a while, which turned out to be the gospel truth.

  A few nights later, I was tossing and turning. Uncomfortable. My foot wandered the hotel sheets for hers as I dozed and woke up for hours.

  So far that week, the days weren’t bad. Sure, the work was daunting. Especially since we were at the beginning of the giant job, but the conditions could have been much worse. Chris and Ted were right, the tracks were mostly flat, and that made a huge difference. The weather stayed dry, although the temperature was cooling off more and more each day. But without mud and hills to war with, overall, things were good.

  Good, except I’d rather be at home at night.

  I refused to let it get the best of me though, and I didn’t let on to Myra how much it sucked being away. We talked every morning and texted throughout the days when we had a free moment, but FaceTiming was what I looked forward to each night.

  On Thursday, Ted let me know he needed me to stay through the weekend to keep everything moving since we were getting so much done. He was staying to help through Saturday and then going home for a day. Chris was leaving Friday and then coming back on Monday with a ripped load.

  I wasn’t looking forward to telling her it wouldn’t be until sometime next week when I’d be able to bring a truck home, but I pressed send to start our video call and waited for her to pick up.

  Smiling ear to ear, hair in a thick, long braid over her shoulder, she answered. “I was just about to call you, but I was trying to wait until nine when you usually do. I got out of class early and waiting was getting the best of me.” She was wearing the robe I’d bought and sitting against the headboard in our room. Clean faced and beautiful, I could almost smell her skin.

  “How was your day?” I asked.