Finding Patience

by Eden Rose

  Hell, I’m still all over the place with my emotions.

  Watching Alexa jump into Brett’s arms is too much for me. I burst out in tears.

  He’s cradling her to his chest, like he did with me, but he’s holding her differently. He’s holding her like a father would hold his little girl.

  “Alexa, I’m so happy to meet you,” he murmurs with emotion thickening his voice.

  We kneel in the yard like this for a few minutes until my knees start to hurt. I adjust my body to sit on ass and watch as Brett and Alexa get to know each other.

  “What’s your favorite color? You can’t like pink. It’s my favorite color. Mommy’s favorite color was pink but I made her change it.”

  Letting out a giggle, I kick my shoes off that were pinching my toes. “Yes, you can’t like something she likes because she will make you change it,” I affirm.

  His big body falls against the grass until his ass is sitting on it. “Well, I like blue,” he offers.

  She’s not having it. Her little face gets skewed up with her little attitude. “No. You can’t like blue. That’s grandpa’s favorite color.”

  Brett, being the good guy that he is, just smiles and nods his head like he understands her madness. “What color am I allowed to like then?”

  “I’ll get back to you.”

  Alexa skips away from us but stops before she gets to the front porch. She turns to look back at me with a big smile on her face. “Mommy, daddy, come play with me!”

  My heart feels like it’s slowly healing back together again. For so long, I was the mommy and the daddy. Now I get to share it with someone.

  I’m in the process of getting off the ground, still wearing my dress from the concert, when Brett leans over to pick me up. He carries me into the house like we just got married. I can’t help but cry, smile and swoon all at the same time.

  RABIES

  I’m not surprised that Patience’s parents are waiting for us at the dining room table with scowls on their faces.

  Without Alexa knowing it, she’s a buffer right now from the shit that’s about to hit the fan.

  I’m wanting to get out of here with my girls and go home.

  Home.

  The word home used to be so lonely to me and now it has a different meaning. I can’t wait until Patience and I go home together.

  “Alexa, why don’t you go get dressed,” Mrs. Monroe suggests with a stern look on her face to her granddaughter.

  Patience must sense that I’m about to protest her mother ordering our daughter around, because she places her hand on my knee to squeeze. “It’s okay,” she murmurs.

  “Your parents look like I knocked you up or something,” I mutter.

  She laughs out loud. “You did, you know?”

  I smirk at her. “Remind me again how I did that?”

  Patience leans over to whisper in my ear. “It was either when you took my virginity in my bed or the time after we got married. Whenever it was, it was the most amazing time.”

  Well, fuck. What is it about this girl that has me acting like a teenager?

  “Well, where the hell are you going to live?” Mr. Monroe asks with a scowl. “I want to know what you think you’re going to be doing while Patience is out touring. You think about that?”

  My girl sticks her hand out to stop her father from talking. “Dad, I know you’re pissed off, but this is all new. Please back up!”

  He shoots out of his chair making Patience flinch along with her mother. I know all too well how this will end. I step in between them to block my wife from her dad. “Don’t say something you’ll regret.”

  Mr. Monroe looks murderous at me. “You’re just like your mother. A low-life, bottom feeding, piece of shit looking for a hand out.”

  My fist forms. There’s no way that I’m anything like my mother! How dare he say something so fucking shitty to me?

  “Daddy, no!”

  I turn to see Alexa running towards me with her curly hair bouncing. I lean over to pick her up with my arm underneath her little butt to hold her in place. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  “What are you going to do while Patience is doing concerts? Come along? Be a groupy? How are you going to feel knowing that men obsess over her? That men follow her around? Call her, email her, try to meet her in person? You going to be okay with that, biker?”

  “Don! That’s enough!” Mrs. Monroe shouts out.

  “We’re leaving,” Patience announces.

  I’ve got Alexa tucked into my arms and I’m following behind Patience as we leave her parents’ house. I look at them and then look down at my bike.

  Shit! Am I going to have to sell my bike to buy a minivan or some shit?

  *

  RABIES

  Walking into the house that belongs to my wife is pretty fucking surreal. Not only does she have gates that block her house from the road, but she has guards outside. It’s like she lives in a fortress or some shit.

  “Want the full tour?” Patience purrs next to me as we stand in the foyer of her house.

  Alexa’s already ran past us and is doing whatever it is that she has her mind set on. The whole way here, she was talking a mile a minute regarding her friends and how much fun it is to go on tour with Super Star Mommy!

  I shit you not, that’s what my little girl calls her mom.

  The front of the house looks nothing like the house she lived in where I fell in love with her. I feel like a pile of shit walking through the door in my leather and ripped up jeans- it’s that nice in here.

  Rubbing my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans, I take in the clean white walls of her house. How could someone with so much personality live in a house that is this cold? This boring? I don’t even know how else to explain it but it doesn’t fit the personality of my wife.

  “Yeah, sure,” I answer her.

  Might as well feel like a complete fuckin’ dumb ass after I get the full tour of her perfect house that she has. Might as well feel like a fuckin’ loser because I could never afford to live in a house like this.

  Her hand travels down my leather cut, over my blazing hot skin, until she reaches my hand. After entwining both of our hands together, she walks me through the foyer.

  The hallway is lit up by these lightboxes that have punched out designs on them. They are pretty cool looking because they give the walls this shadow puppet like look. It wasn’t until we stop in front of a picture of Alexa and Patience that I realized how much I missed.

  How much of their lives I missed because of my mother fuckin’ mother. How much of their lives that I didn’t get to see with my own eyes because Patience thought I was dead. Everything is different now and I lost out on five years with my girl. Five years without my daughter.

  Alexa’s wrapped in a pink blanket with tears running down her little face. But it’s Patience’s big smile on her face that tells me how happy she is now that she’s holding her daughter for the first time. It’s a picture that I should have been in. It’s a picture that I should have been there to take.

  “Brett…” Patience hedges from next to me. Her sweet voice trying to calm me down from the war that’s waging inside of me.

  When the war is unleashed, I’m going to fuckin’ kill my mother for doing this.

  Snapping out of my murderous thoughts, I look down to see Patience’s face smiling at me. “What, baby?” I ask her even though I know she’s worried about how I’m feeling. “Don’t worry about anything. I’m just fuckin’ pissed off that I missed all of this.”

  Turning my head, I see pictures of my two girls doing everything together. First steps, first dance recital, first shot by the paparazzi. First everything. Everything that I missed out on.

  She tugs on my hand. “We can make new memories now. It wasn’t your fault that your mother is a cunt haired bitch.”

  My mouth opens and I twist my head around to look at Patience. “What?” There’s no way in fucking hell she said what I think she just said, rig
ht?

  “I hate your mother but it wasn’t your fault. Are you ready for the rest of the tour?”

  By rest of the tour, she meant her recording studio in her house, a room full of all her costumes for her shows, a room full of all her shoes, a room that is designed for Alexa’s dolls to have their own houses. A kitchen that would make a professional chef weep from its beauty.

  Her bedroom was saved for last. “This is where the magic happens,” she states while pushing the door open.

  “Baby?” I raise my eyebrow at her. “Magic? There will be no more fuckin’ magic happenin’ in this house without me bein’ the one givin’ it to you. You got me?” I order with little room for her to argue with me.

  Patience giggles but then stops when she sees how serious I am. “There’s been ‘no magic’ happening in here. When MTV came over to record my house for one of their shows, that’s what they said when they entered my bedroom. It’s a joke,” she tries to explain to me.

  “No more MTV comin’ here either,” I declare with vehemence.

  “You’re being pretty bossy…”

  PATIENCE

  I should have known from the beginning that Brett would have felt left out from everything that I got to experience with Alexa. It’s not my fault nor is it his that his mother is a dumb bitch. It’s no one’s fault but her own.

  Fuck that bitch.

  We’re in the corridor of my bedroom suite and I know he’s overwhelmed. Is Brett worried that I’m too rich or something for him? He couldn’t be that insecure.

  Right?

  I look around my pristine bedspread with a lacey canopy covering my bed. It’s a beautiful bed. Hell, the minute I saw it, I had to have it. It’s a sleigh bedframe style with white sheets. The comforter that’s thrown across the bed, is the colors of a peacock matching the throw pillows lining my bed.

  The fireplace off to the side of the room, has never been used. Secretly, I hate fire and have actually had all sixteen fireplaces sealed up before I moved in here. Something about fire scares the shit out of me and I refuse to have a fire lit in my house.

  Even though I have candles decorating my house, none of them have been lit. Hell, I don’t even have matches or lighters in my house.

  If one of my employees smoke, they have to leave everything associated with smoking outside of my house. I don’t want any of it in here.

  Plus, the smoking ruins the atmosphere I have in here.

  “Holy fuckin’ shit, baby,” Brett whistles next to me.

  I know exactly what he’s focused on, but the look on his face is priceless. I’m instantly brought back to being that young girl who fell in love with the man working landscaping at my parents’ house. I’m the young girl who gave her heart over to this man and never got it back. I’m the girl who’s still wildly in love with him.

  I don’t let him move from where he’s standing before I jump on his. My hands are tangled in his hair while my legs circle his waist. His powerful fucking waist that he has is almost too thick for me to wrap around him.

  Brett’s with the program now that he’s got his hands cupping my ass. Our tongues plunder the other’s mouth with vengeance. We’re trying to make up for lost time.

  I moan against his bruising kiss and grind my pussy against the hardness of his hips. His belt buckle bumps against my clit sending me closer and closer to my orgasm.

  Without preamble, I’m ripping my costume off my body and discarding it behind me. I want nothing between us. Anything that is between us, is too damn much.

  He’s using his grip on my ass to create a dirty dance between our hops that’s driving me closer and closer to the edge of insanity. Hell, I’m so close to losing my shit, that I could pass out.

  Brett breaks our kiss and my eyes pop open to look him in his eyes. I see that they are wide and wild with lust. “Fuck, baby. You have no idea how much I fuckin’ missed you. I’m never gonna let you go again, you get me?” He groans out while shoving his hard dick against my cleft.

  “I got you. Never let me go,” I whisper against his lips. My hands are all over his body trying to touch him all at the same time but pay attention to each spot equally.

  Suddenly, I’m thrown through the air with my body bouncing on my bed. “What’s with this girly fuckin’ shit?” He mumbles under his breath as he shucks off all his clothing. “Too fuckin’ girly.”

  My mouth is about to open to tell him that he could suck a dick for making fun of my room, but a moan pops out instead.

  A wide set of shoulders have pushed their way in between my thighs and now my pussy is spread wide open by two fingers. I’m wide open for his viewing. Normally, I would be a little shy but- fuck! This man has me flying.

  Brett flattens his tongue licking me from my ass up to my clit and back down again. He’s slurping up my juices as if he’s thirsty for me and it’s such a turn on. I have never had someone turn me on this much before.

  Suddenly, two fingers are shoved through my tender pussy but I greedily accept them. Hell, I greedily accept anything he has to give me.

  He’s working me to the point that I’m stuttering out random words that don’t make any sense.

  “Oh, shit! Shit! Please. Please. Oh!” I mumble out into the darkness of my room.

  My eyes are squeezed closed but I snap them open as I feel my lower muscles clench and reach to the orgasm that’s about to flood through me. I reach one of my hands down to his head, pushing him further into me. To get his tongue to go harder against my clit.

  Anything that will push me over the edge.

  And then it happens.

  RABIES

  Her tiny little hole in her ass is calling to me to fuck it. Sliding a third finger into her pussy, easily, I might add, I gather some of her arousal in order to make my exploration work better.

  With the finger lubricated, I slide it towards her asshole. I suck her clit in my mouth to distract her but I should have known she wouldn’t let me get away with it.

  “I’m gonna fuck your ass, baby,” I tell her as I’m still licking her clit. “You’ve got the sweetest fuckin’ pussy in the world,” I murmur against her flesh.

  Her pussy hole tightens around my fingers and her moans get louder, desperate. It’s got me harder than a rock right now. My dick’s pressed against the mattress, begging to be released to fuck the shit out of her.

  The second my finger breaches her ass, she’s screaming out her orgasm. I don’t even slide the finger all the way in, but she’s moaning so loud that her neighbors could probably hear her.

  Taking this time to work my fingers in and out of the two holes, I take my mouth away from her pussy to look at her gorgeous face as she lets go. I love how her hair is all over her face and her skin is beat red.

  “That’s it, baby. Come for me. Give me everything that your sexy little pussy has for me.”

  “Brett! Shit! I’m gonna… I’m gonna!” She stammers.

  “You’re gonna come so hard you’ll pass out, P.”

  “Uh huh!” Patience mumbles. “Fuck me harder, fuck me harder!”

  Not one to disappoint, I do exactly what she asks of me. I fuck her so hard that my fingers begin to cramp but I don’t stop until her body starts shaking in front of me. It’s the sexiest thing in the world to see her let herself go in front of me.

  After her orgasm is spent, she’s lying in front of me breathing heavily.

  I crawl up her body, settle my dick against the puffy pink lips of her pussy, before sliding inside her. It’s been about two hours since I was last in her, but it’s two hours too long.

  My dick is embedded in her pussy in a matter of seconds. The silken fist of her pussy has me swallowed up and is fluttering around me. Each spasm of her pussy, has me further and further ready to lose my shit.

  “I’ll never get enough!” I chant as I pound my dick in her over and over. With each thrust of my hips, my balls bounce off her ass.

  Patience’s back is bowed in a perfect arch. “Play with y
our nips, baby,” I instruct her.

  My girl doesn’t disappoint me. She’s got her little fingers pulling on the puffy nipples, offering them to me. My mouth waters while she rolls them in her fingers seductively.

  “It feels so good, Brett,” she moans.

  My head rolls back and I shout at the ceiling just in time for my orgasm to surge through my body, filling her up. I love filling her up with my come.

  I fuck her through the jolts that rage through my body. Anxiously, I want to fill her up more and more.

  PATIENCE

  We’ve collapsed in a sweaty pile on top of my girly comforter that Brett was just bitching about before he fucked me unconscious. Our breaths are both heavy and trying to slow down but they won’t. We are still living the after glow of being with each other like this again.

  “Fuck,” Brett lets out while pushing himself off of me. “Damn, I missed you.”

  Its when the fire dies down inside me that I remember how fucked up everything is with us. We’re not the same people that we once were when we made promises to each other. Who did my husband become?

  The tattoos, leather and scars on his hands has changed his appearance big time. The new Brett is harder than before.

  Dangerous.

  Sexy.

  Just as addicting as before.

  I blurt out what’s on my mind without me even realizing I’m doing it. “What’s with all this leather and bikes and shit? Are you in some kind of gang or something?”

  The burst of laughter from Brett is enough to make me get defiant. “These are legit questions,” I defend with a scowl. “You do know that being with me isn’t like it was before, right?” I hedge along the edges of the questions that have been burning my mind since I saw him yesterday.

  “I’m not in gang, baby. I’m hangin’ out with a group of guys that like to ride fuckin’ bikes and drink.”

  I’m not convinced. I turn over to my side so that I’m facing his front. He follows suit and soon we are facing each other. “Don’t lie to me, Brett.”