The Masked Poet
Page 27
- Hmmnnn........... I guess you terrorized the university with your poems?
- You can trust that happened.
- So, how many girls were after you in that campus?
- That doesn't matter anymore.
- It does! Cos I'm jealous and I want to meet all of them.
- Meet them! For what?
- To scold them for getting at you first when they should have let you be until you meet me.
- Why?
- So I can be the first, in between, and last woman you ever know.
- Ha ha ha ha............. But you still won. You are the first lover I have.
- Yes, but l prefer taking all the glory from start till now.
- Then you should seek to scold from my hometown neighbourhood through to my secondary school in addition!
- Leave me alone! I am jealous!
- Okay, don't worry; I'll take you to meet them all.
- Good! And I will so deal with them!
Ha ha ha ha ha................. Both indulged.
'But your mum has been such a pillar in your life.' She posited.
'Absolutely, without quantification; the perfect mother.' He concurred.
- Mother-father in one.
- Correct! Very true.
- But has you dad ever looked for you? He must have heard of what you have become now.
- No, he hasn't. He promised he won't ever be associated with me in his lifetime.
- Was it that bad? What really could have provoked such a statement?
- Ermmm...........ermmm..... My mum........re.....fuse........ she refuses to tell me.
- They have issues they don't want others to know right?
- Probably.
- But that shouldn't make your father abandon you the way he's done. At least he witnessed your birth. Even if he wanted to be far off, he still should have paid your school fees in the least.
- Well, he never did.
- Do you know where he is presently?
- Don't go there, just don't bring up the conversation you are about to; I promise you, it won't fly.
- Honey, whatever, he remains your father and.........................
- I don't want to set my eyes on him too!
- Ermm......ermm............ You know, a friend of mine once told me a bitter truth by way of a line: "we have no right not to forgive............"
Her reminder shocked him as he became mute while he mused over it.
'Well then, he must seek my forgiveness. I won't go to him first.' He compromised.
'Then we've achieved a giant stride deary.' She lauded. ' After our marriage, we would see to the rest. Kudos!'
- Hmmnn........beauty, brains, biblical, peacemaker, home girl, family maker!
- I am flying.........to the sky high........ So, soul charmer, all my worries have been laid to rest. Now, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE D-DAY TO COME !!!
Delight felt she's never witnessed such a loving reception and show of hospitality anywhere. Robert's family, that is his maternal relatives, surely over did it. It was as if they never believed Robert will ever get married. They pampered her so much she thought she would be offered some breast milk! Robert's mother was particularly over the moon. Delight became the daughter and of course, the gossip partner she never had. They talked late into the night that Friday they arrived until Delight begged she be allowed to go to bed as she was exhausted. Being a two bedroom flat, she shared the same room with Robert's mother while Robert used his own room.
In the wee hours of the morning while she was fast asleep, Robert's mum sneaked into his bedroom and woke him for a tete-a-tete
'Have you told her? Or has she discovered it?' She asked him. 'Is she comfortable with it?
'Mummy calm down! Your questions press on me like an avalanche, break it down please.' He mellowed her.
- Okay, is she aware?
- No mum. I couldn't muster the effrontery to tell her.
- How then is she going to discover it?
- It is rather, a question of when?
- When then?
- On the wedding night.
- Are you sure she won't throw up a reaction?
- That I don't know; I'm leaving it to fate.
- What's her marital beliefs like?
- She's no advocate of divorces; that's why I'm placing my bet on a post wedding revelation. Perhaps her belief may tie her down in marriage irrespective of the discovery.
- But don't you think the truth should be laid bare before her or any other woman for that matter? I still believe one out of the lot will take you for who you are and agree to settle down with you.
- Mummy, I don't think any woman would agree to marry me if she discovers before marriage. I wanted a life of celibacy but she wouldn't let me be with her insistence on loving me. She even threatened suicide at a point and I was left with no other option. Now I've towed this part, this is my only route to marriage. If it works, all well and good then, but should it fail, I am ready for the associated shame.
- If she really loves you as you have narrated, she should be able to keep the secret at least for marriage's sake.
- I can't guarantee that mum, we can only hope it favours us.
- It is well my son. Whether or not it favours us, life goes on. There will always be a way out of every situation..................
CHAPTER 29
When they returned from what turned out a very fruitful trip, Delight called up the doctors she tasked with ascertaining Robert's sexual potency or otherwise.
'Hello, Dr. Ngengen.'
'Hello beauty queen.'
- How do you do sir?
- And how do you do?
- Please is my husband-to-be's potency result out?
- Can you say that phrase again: "husband to be?"
- Yesssss............... MY DEAR HUSBAND TO BE!
- What if I tell you he is negative? Would you still call him that?
- Yes doctor. You know, love is more powerful than potency or impo.................
- It's okayyyy............... Lover girl! Anyways, he is positive.
- Doctor, in a lay girl's language na..........
- He is potent. Very potent. In fact, powerfully potent! Ha ha ha ha................
- Ha ha ha ha............. But did you observe him?
- Yes. Initially, when I put him in the enclosed observation room and slotted in the X-rated film, he was uncomfortable, but as he got enticed, his manhood started rising until it hit full erection.
- Is that?
- Yes. As a matter of fact, it was so turgid that if his trousers were still on, his pintle would tear it through!
- Ha ha ha ............ Doctor! Don't give me imaginations.
- I think you will enjoy him o!!
- Doctor! Don't spoil me o. I'm still a baby ooooo.
- Sorry na. You know, I just have to report things the way they went.
- And you over did it! Ha ha ha........ By the............
- Aren't you going to ask about the size?
- What size?
- His pintle's.
- Doctor! I will tell my daddy for you!....Ha ha ha....... But seriously, that doesn't matter.
- Ha ha ha.......... But you ladies insist that size does matter.
- Well, I'm not every lady. There are more important things I consider in love. Size is the least of them.
- If you say so then.
- So, I was asking: what about his fertility rate? Did you test that as well?
- Hmmnn........ My queen, the guy is approaching 200million count o!
- What! Really?
- See, that wedding night eh, I think the guy will score plenty plenty goals!
- Ha ha ha ha.....................
'Hello, Dr. Osinwu. Good afternoon doctor.'
'Mrs. Delight the Masked Poet.'
- Ahhhh.......... Doctor, you are too fast na; time never reach o. Six weeks more and that will be official, but for now, l still be my papa pikin o. And by the way, h
is name is Robert.
- Oh! I see! Mrs. Delight Robert to be!'
- Doctor! Leave out the "Mrs." for now, abeg(giggling).
- It's a done deal already.
- Doctor, na you talk o.
- I mean it. Since this potency test proves he is absolutely normal, I don't see any other thing getting in the way.
- You mean it is positive?
- Perfectly. He has no problems whatsoever.
- What about his fertility rate?
- About that, in fact, you are lucky you say he has never had sex before else, he would have impregnated many women at first touch.
- Really?
- Yes o. You would have had plenty baby mamas to contend with.
- Ha ha ha ha................
- Seriously o, he's hitting above 190million sperm count.
- Hmmmnnnnn..............
- So, you guys should be ready o.
- For what na?(giggling)
- A semi - children home. Not a full one, just a semi.
- Ha ha ha........ Doctor! You want me to be turned into a baby factory?
- I'm only stating the obvious. Seriously, this means you may have to embrace family planning quite early. Be informed.
- Alright doctor. Thank you sir.
- Best wishes okay?
- Thanks. Please be at the wedding.
- You can be sure I will.................
She was assuaged. She had no fears then, except to plunge headlong into marriage with the love of her life...................
CHAPTER 30
The couple pleaded with, as they informed the presidency, that instead of a sponsored honeymoon package in a particular location, they would rather emphasis be placed on the duration and not necessarily the location. This is because they plan to tour a host of cities in that period with an itinerary which starts with the Tinapa resort and tours, to the Obudu cattle ranch, all in Cross River state, to the pyramids in Egypt, to the wild parks in Tanzania, and a final stop in the romantic city of Paris; instead of getting stuck to a specific place for the honeymoon. But regarding the venue for the wedding, despite the possible challenges which come with it as a result of their celebrity status, they opted still for Abuja, but strictly on invitation for guests.
It was a gathering of the nation's fleet of classy elites in their unparalleled apparels, royal robes, presidential outfits, and fashionable dress senses. The nation's president and his amiable wife topped the list of dignitaries who came for the wedding; and the wedding, including the atmosphere, was complicatedly ecstatic.
At a point in the reception, held at the Sheraton Hotels and Towers, the master of ceremonies informed the guests that special weddings require special moments, and since the wedding at hand involves a poet, the poet in question says the day can't end without an opportunity to tell his wife his love for her by way of poems. He well was given his time. When he received a microphone, he knelt facing his bride.
'Sweetheart, this first poem I have written for you is titled: 'YOU ARE MY LOVE CONQUEST.'
I am no bellicist
rather, I'm a pacifist
dragged into an unwitting conquest
actually, a love conquest
fortunately, I emerged best
to the prize so grandest;
darling, you are my love conquest.
For your prized head
were dunes of amorous foes
menacing with Cupid's arrows
placing loving deadly harrows
wielding each a self prance,
I stood not a chance!
My foes were magnates
at you threw they darts
of intertwined money fiats
displaying apt luxurious acts
to scorn all proletariats
one like me, that's.
They brought you gems
they brought you cars
and all money can buy
hoping to snare you thereby.
I had only aesthetics
no cars, gems, nor antics
not even a favourable prognostics
only pen, words, and poetry.
But how you loved poetry!
Above all woos of money
you turned a volitient conquest
presenting your heart erst
then your head next.
Then my foes turned beasts
aiming at me fatal tits
like lions, they beclad braveness
like tigers, aggressiveness
like wolves, fierceness
but I turned to a dove
and flew far above
from where I now strove
my foes became powerless
they became helpless
they, I made hopeless
as I rallied ample doves
we came in our droves
we hung in the air
as we wrote in the air
'Delight, I love you'
what a sight to behold
as you became bold
and away you flew
from they to me in lieu
to my kingdom so new.
I emerged best
in a keen love conquest
darling, you are my love conquest.........
Delight cheered excitedly, gesticulating with a smile on a tearful eye and swinging hands whose palms she next took to her face, covering her mouth as an awestruck gesture. She then took it to his face and held it.
'Thank you love, for taking to the risk of war all for me.' She stammered amidst restrained emotions.
'I've only just started honey,' he told her, 'there's more to come. And the next is titled: 'YOUR LOVE HAS OBSESSED ME.'
Your love has obsessed me
so wholly obsessed me
that if your hometown's an island
needing seven rivers to land
I'll need no bridges
neither use of boats
to swim across to you
the thought of seeing you
the hope of loving you
but all the energy I need!
Your love has obsessed me
so raptly obsessed me
that if you are in America
and I am in Africa
I'll need no fins
to be the first ever
to swim across the Atlantic
though it's not pragmatic
and could prove pathetic
yet I must reach love!
Your love has obsessed me
so totally obsessed me
that if I drown in the ocean
to the floor in sinking motion
I'll need no gills
nor use of oxygen masks
as I won't stop breathing
provided I am seeing
your face on the sky lining
and I must live for love!
Your love has obsessed me
so tightly obsessed me
that if you're suspended on air
and I'm left not a stair
I'll need no jetliner
nor the help of rockets
to put off fatality
and resist stern gravity
flying even to infinity
without wings towards you!
Your love has obsessed me
so strongly obsessed me
that if you are lost in the desert
when I esteem you more than Mozart
I'll need no compasses
nor help of any caravan
cos I'll never die of thirst
as I defy the scorching test
of the sun's jealous protest
at my quest to rescue love!
Your love has obsessed me
so direly obsessed me
that if you're frozen in Antarctica
oh my love whose moniker's Monica
I'll need no ice breakers
nor help of the royal navy
to break that icy monster
even at the peak of winter
and then, retrieve you to warmth!
Your love has obsessed me
so eternally obsessed me
that if when on a sojourn
I am killed by sniper John
I'll need no prayers
nor even heaven's angels
to assume my immortalization
and cause a mild agitation
as I obtain a resurrection
at your proximity to my corpse!
Amidst the reading, the guest were taken away as they whispered murmurs of appreciation at specific soul touching moments so that when the poem ended, they poured out all their hitherto suppressed emotions with a rapturous ovation. The ladies clapped more, obviously, including Delight who added to hers, fidgety animations.
'Here's another one.' Robert the Masked Poet interrupted.
'Oooooooooo..........' The guests echoed a response. 'Another one? Again? Love nwantiti o.................'
'This one, needs no title.' Robert interjected.
Know it love, on this Saturday
as you have chosen me today
I'll take you to many places
one of such places
is where it never ceases to rain
actually, I mean love rain
people call it waterfalls
but I call it 'lovefalls'
we'll stay in the river base
and make it a lasting base
under it's ceaseless showers
as the rock emits love showers
atop this place is a dome
and that place is my home.
'Did I say this one has no title?' He asked as he ended. 'But actually it does sweetness, and it is: "WELCOME TO MY HOME." And this is from me to you: "Welcome to my home, now our home.'
'Thank you my soul charmer. You make me want to cry.....' She spoke as she sobbed.
- Here's another one. Get ready, at the end you'll hazard a title for it.
- Yet another?
- Yes. You see,
Every woman's like an hibiscus
which can never self pollinate
but needs an admirer to pollinate.
I am the multi coloured butterfly
I am that admirer lover fly
of the hibiscus called Delight
be sure I'll transfer, oh Delight
pollens from your anther to stigma
consensually to avoid a stigma