Last Christmas

by Kate Brian

Paige had all abandoned their breakfasts to watch their argument.

  Daniel's eyes flashed. "Because. You're my girlfriend." "Wow. Medieval much, Daniel?" Noelle joked.

  Ariana could have hugged her friend for standing up for her. "He's right," Paige said in a tone that dared any

  of them to contradict her. "He does have a right to know. Especially when she's acting so cagey." Noelle

  looked down at her food, rolling her eyes only slightly. "I'm not being cagey," Ariana said steadily, willing

  herself to not sound defensive. "So who was it, Ariana?" Paige challenged. "Fine! It was my mother, okay?

  She texts me these sappy messages and they're too embarrassing to show to anyone," Ariana improvised,

  hoping they couldn't see through her. Couldn't see the red liar sign that had to be flashing over her head.

  "Can the inquisition end now?" "Your mom knows how to text?" Paige asked, looking skeptical. The clasp on

  her citrine-and-diamond necklace had fallen to the front, and she quickly adjusted the chain.

  "She's on Instant Messenger, too. It's bizarre." Ariana shrugged, trying to appear blithe. But as desperate as

  she was for everyone to believe her, she started to feel anger burn at her core. She had never done anything

  wrong before. Never given Daniel reason to worry. And maybe she had made one small-teeny, really-

  misstep with Thomas, but she was always so good.

  Noelle yawned. "That's it," she announced. "I'm officially bored." She got up and pulled on her camel-

  colored suede coat over her cardigan. "I've got to finish packing." "Same." Dash nodded."And I need to

  finish my paper." Ariana stood up and grabbed her bag, swinging it over her left shoulder, away from Paige.

  Just in case the girl made a swipe for her phone. Glancing across the room, she saw that Thomas was looking

  at her again, watching intently. "See you later?" she said to Daniel.

  "I'll come by to get your stuff," he said, rising to give her a quick kiss. Keeping her eyes on Thomas, Ariana

  pulled Daniel closer and turned his peck into a long, deep kiss. By the time she was done, Daniel was

  blushing and Thomas looked stunned. As Ariana turned and walked with Noelle toward the exit, she couldn't

  help smiling. Maybe Thomas was right. Maybe she was a little naughty after all.

  CARELESS

  ***A razor-thin sliver of dusk glowed outside Ariana's window, the last remnant of day before darkness

  enveloped the campus. She checked her watch. It was exactly 6 p.m. on Tuesday. She had one hour to put her

  paper in Mr. Holmes's mailbox and catch a cab to the train station.

  As she leaned over her desk and clicked the print command on her laptop, her eyes fell on the framed photo

  perched on her desk, the one next to the picture of her and her mom. It was the black-and-white shot Daniel

  had taken of her. Ariana was wrapped in a fluffy, oversize beach towel and stretched out on a lounge chair,

  blowing a kiss to the camera. The girl in that picture looked happy. In love with her boyfriend. Normal.

  She could be that girl again. She wanted to be. Thomas might be sexy and exciting, but Daniel was familiar.

  She knew everything about him. No surprises. For better or worse, he was the guy for her. The guy who could

  give her everything she wanted. Everything her mother wanted. Thomas was just a blip. She pulled her cell

  phone from her Kate Spade tote, scrolled through her text messages, and read Thomas's one last time. Then

  she deleted it. As soon as the text was gone, she felt better. Lighter, somehow. She'd made her decision.

  She snatched her paper from the printer tray, stapled it hastily together, and stuffed it in her bag. Winding a

  soft aqua scarf around her neck, she glanced one last time at the photographs on her desk. She'd made the

  right decision. The decision her mom would approve of. She slung her bag over her shoulder and slipped out

  of the room without looking back.

  A lacy curtain of snow draped over her the moment she stepped outside Billings House. As she cut across the

  deserted grounds, the snow seemed to be falling heavier, thicker around her than it had earlier in the day. Hell

  Hall loomed just ahead, dark and imposing against the snowy sky. She took the stairs two at a time, and

  pushed through the doorway.

  The lights had already been turned off. The sound of her footsteps echoed down the hall as she hurried in the

  dark to the faculty mail-room. She slid her hands along the wall and paused when she reached the last door.

  She strained to hear the sound of a professor's laugh, or a muffled conversation. Nothing but thick silence

  buzzing loudly in her ears.

  She leaned against the heavy, stubborn door, nudging it with her hip to force it open. A dusty Tiffany lamp

  glowed on a table in the far corner of the room. Rows of small wooden cubbies stretched along one wall, and

  she scanned the names below each mailbox until she found Mr. Holmes's slot. She pulled her paper from her

  bag and stood on tiptoe, sliding it into his already overstuffed cubby.

  A loud clatter in the hallway shattered the silence, and Ariana instinctively ducked behind the wall of

  mailboxes. She had thought she was alone. Immediately she felt silly. Easton was the safest place in the

  world. She just wasn't used to the place being empty. Shaking her head, she was about to come out when she

  heard footsteps, and something told her to stay where she was. She heard a door opening-or was it was the

  wind rattling the ancient windows? She couldn't tell. She held her breath and closed her eyes. Silence. What

  was going on? The campus was practically deserted. Who else would be coming to Hell Hall at this hour?

  Slowly, Ariana pulled open the door and stepped cautiously into the hallway. It was empty. She quickly

  headed for the door but felt the overwhelming sensation that someone was watching her. Her steps turned into

  a jog, and the only sound she could hear was her heart pounding loudly in her ears.

  This is stupid, she chided herself even as she ran. There's no one here. No one. No one. No-Just a few feet

  from the double doors, she slammed into something. Someone. Ariana screamed. A hand clamped over her

  mouth and her back slammed into the wall. A hooded figure. Strong and tall, but thin. Ariana opened her

  mouth to bite down when she caught the familiar, spicy scent of Thomas Pearson.74 "Calm down! It's just

  me." He let her go and she gulped in a huge breath. "Jesus, Thomas. Do you have a death wish or

  something?" Ariana sank back against the wall, adrenaline draining from her body. She wiped her clammy

  hands on her coat and tried to slow her breathing. "What the hell are you doing here?"

  "Just in the neighborhood." He lowered his hood and laughed. She felt her body begin to relax. Even in the

  dimly lit hall, his eyes were stunningly blue.

  "Try again." She felt the heat radiating from his body. She knew it was ridiculous, but suddenly she felt

  warmer. " Okay. I knew you would need a little help getting to the chapel." Ariana's heart skipped a beat, but

  she remembered her decision. She had to stick to her plan. "I can't. I have to catch a cab. I'm meeting Daniel

  in Vermont tonight." "So go in the morning," he said simply, moving closer. She took a step back, bumping

  in to the hallway wall. He was mere inches from her now, and Ariana felt the resistance melting from her

  body. It was as if he had some sort of power over her. The power to make her forget what she had with

  Daniel. To forget what could happen if anyone saw her with him. What she could lose. Billings.
Easton. Her

  mother.

  But when he was that close, all that existed was Thomas. All that she wanted was Thomas. "You know you

  want to stay. "He took another step closer. The tips of his shoes bumping against hers. I do, Ariana thought,

  her longing taking over. I do, I do, do. She had to touch him. Had to kiss him. Now. Right now or she was

  going to lose her mind. "Aria-" She silenced him with her touch. She grabbed him around the back of his

  neck and pulled his mouth down on hers. Power surged through her body as she took control, kissing him

  until he finally woke up from his shock and kissed her back. He yanked her scarf from around her neck, and

  his lips moved down from just below her ear, down, down to her collarbone. He groped for the buttons on her

  coat as she struggled with the belt. The moment she was free of it, his hand slipped inside and under her

  sweater. Her skin seared everywhere he touched her. She let the coat drop to the floor and slid her hands up

  under his clothes, running her fingers over his chest. Every inch of her body trembled with excitement, with a

  kind of energy she'd never felt before. "Want flooded through her and she gave in to it, feeling completely,

  wonderfully out of control. She needed more. More. More now.

  But when he starting pulling her sweater over her head, she pushed him away. "Wait. Not here," she

  whispered. "The professors ...they're still around...."

  Wordlessly, he grabbed her hand. Ariana had just enough time to grab her coat and bag off the marble floor as

  he tugged her toward the double doors. Once outside, the snowflakes swirled thick around them, and Ariana

  felt as if her heart were swirling too. Wildly spinning with no chance of stopping. She didn't think about how

  she was supposed to be in love with Daniel. How she was supposed to be on her way to the train station. She

  just let Thomas lead her through campus to the edge of the woods. She had no idea what was going to happen.

  How far she would let things go.

  And for the first time in her life, she didn't care.

  DESTROYED

  ***"After you." Thomas held back several thick, snow-covered pine branches. Behind them were a series of

  cracked stone steps leading to the old chapel's doorway. The building had been marked for demolition at the

  beginning of the year and was supposed to be torn down by the end of December. The student body had been

  warned by Dean Marcus to stay away from the woods until the area was cleared, but a select few, Thomas

  included, had ignored the dean's warning. It was the perfect place to drink and get high.

  "I haven't been back here in awhile." Ariana tilted her head back, taking in the circular stained-glass window

  above the door and the crumbling steeple that stretched into the cloud of snow above. She felt a sudden,

  unexpected surge of sadness. The old building had withstood so much over the years and had become

  strangely more beautiful, stronger with age. But it was only a matter of time before it would be completely

  destroyed. Gone forever. Thomas made his way up the steps and pushed the door opened with a creak,

  gesturing for Ariana to go inside. She took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.

  "Shit, it's freezing," he whispered as he closed the door behind them. His breath hovered white and heavy in

  the stale air.

  Ariana nodded silently, even though she knew he couldn't see her in the dark. She braced herself against the

  bitter cold that permeated her clothes, seeping into her skin and chilling her insides. With any luck it would

  keep her brain frozen so she wouldn't have to think about what she was doing. That she was in a condemned

  chapel. With Thomas. Alone. "Here we go." A flash of light exploded in front of Thomas, and he lowered his

  lighter to two candles in wall sconces on either side of the door. The dim light cast shadows over the rows of

  dusty pews and cracked stained-glass windows that ran the length of the small chapel. "Hey, can you light

  those?" Thomas handed her the lighter and nodded toward the altar.

  Ariana took the lighter gingerly and held it in front of her, making her way slowly to the altar. The flame

  caught on a shard of blue glass at her feet. She knelt to pick it up, suddenly overwhelmed by the decaying

  beauty around her. This place was cracked and broken, just like she was. She felt the weight, the gravity of

  the space. Of all who had been there before. She could sense the ghosts all around her, spirits of students long

  dead and forgotten, clinging to the hallowed walls of their glory days.

  One day, that would be her. And Thomas. And Noelle and Daniel and Isobel and the rest. One day they would

  all be dead and gone.... "Ariana?" Thomas's voice jolted her. The metal of the lighter burned her thumb and

  she winced, dropping it on the floor. "I've got it," she said, feeling stupid. She groped for the lighter, then

  quickly walked to the front of the chapel, which was dotted with votive candles, a few burned down to the

  wick. A cigarette butt rested on the altar steps. She nudged it off with the toe of her boot. "What are you doing

  on campus tonight, anyway?" she asked, trying to call attention away from her clumsiness as she carefully lit

  each votive. "Aren't you going back to New York for the holidays?"

  If Thomas heard her, he didn't answer. The wicks of the candles popped and sizzled, illuminating a thick

  marble altar and the several rows of benches behind, probably meant for the choir.

  "Thomas?" He was still at the back of the chapel, fiddling with a cell phone. After a few seconds, he snapped

  the phone closed and slipped it into Ariana's bag. "What are you doing with my phone?" she demanded. How

  dare he go through her stuff? "Letting Ryan know to not expect you." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and

  headed down the aisle toward her.

  Daniel. Goosebumps prickled her skin at the sound of Daniel's last name, and her throat was suddenly dry.80

  "What did you tell him?" "Relax." Thomas laughed. "Told him you didn't finish your paper in time, and you

  couldn't get out of town tonight." He sat in front of the altar just a few steps below her and rubbed his hands

  quickly over his thighs. "So tonight, you're all mine, naughty girl." Thomas sat down on a long wooden pew

  and pulled her down next to him, all in one swift motion. His blue eyes flashed in the candlelight, and warmth

  spread through Ariana's body like hot wax. I love you, she thought. Then almost laughed at herself. How

  ridiculous-in love with Thomas Pearson. But she couldn't stop her heart from pounding. Couldn't stop her

  hands from grasping his jacket and pulling him to her. Didn't want to be anywhere but right here with him in

  this dark, cold place, even while the perfect boy waited for her at an exclusive resort with his wonderful

  family and some elaborate gift undoubtedly hidden away in his luggage.

  What was that, if not love?

  Thomas cupped her face in both hands and kissed her, this time with less urgency. It was sweet, soft,

  searching. As if he wanted to slowly take in every inch of her. Daniel had never kissed her like this. Never

  made her feel beautiful like this. He was more mechanical, stiff. This kiss was warm. It was right. It was ...

  perfect. Ariana relaxed into the moment, taking everything in. The hiss of the flickering candles, the snow

  falling on the dilapidated roof... The sound of the chapel door, creaking open. Slamming shut. They were not

  alone.

  NEW

  ***Panic hard
ened in Ariana's veins. She'd given in to herself for once in her life, done what felt right just

  one time, and she was about to get caught. What would her mother do when she found out Ariana had been

  expelled? She wasn't strong enough for this, for the humiliation that would come. Ariana was sure of that.

  Sure she'd be responsible for the aftermath. She jumped up and reached for her coat, which had somehow

  made its way off her shoulders once again. "Don't stop on my account," a familiar voice called out.

  Tentative relief spread through Ariana's body. Not a teacher. Not security. Thank God. She almost wanted to

  cry.

  "Tate!" Thomas barked, jumping up. 'You scared the shit out of us!"

  Eli Tate, Thomas's former roommate, ambled down the aisle in dark jeans and a hoodie, a crooked grin

  plastered on his face. Even though Eli lived just a couple towns over in Connecticut, he hadn't been back to

  campus since his expulsion. "Pearson!" Eli clasped hands with Thomas. "What's up, loser?" He laughed.

  "Miss me?" He nodded in Ariana's direction. "Hey."

  Ariana tried to speak, but her throat felt constricted, dry. She nodded, wiping her sweaty palms on her wool

  pants.

  "What the fuck are you doing here, man?" Thomas demanded, resting his forearms on his knees as Eli

  dropped down next to him on the bench. "Better question is, what are you two doing here?" Eli flashed his

  familiar, impish grin. "Just hanging out," Thomas said warily, catching Ariana's eye. "Ariana had to stay

  behind for a couple days to finish up some things." "I bet," Eli snorted, letting his eyes linger on Ariana. "So

  really, what are you doing here?" she asked quickly.

  "Needed a break, so I trained in from Greenwich," he replied, stretching his arms over his head. "Evil

  stepsister number two is getting hitched next week, and if I had to sit around the house and hear one more

  screaming phone call to the florist, I was gonna lose it." He pulled something from his jacket pocket and

  rolled it between his fingers, examining it carefully. Ariana tried not to look obvious as she craned her neck a

  little to see what it was. A joint. "Thought I'd come over to campus and hang out. Didn't know you two were

  already staked out here." He smirked, giving his wiry curls a shake. He picked up one of the votives and held

  it to the end of the joint. He inhaled deeply, then paused. A sickeningly sweet smell hovered around him.

  "Shame they're tearing this place down." "Yeah," Thomas said vaguely. "Shame." Ariana thought she saw

  the beginnings of a smile in his eyes, but she wasn't sure. She had the sudden urge to tell Eli to leave. She'd

  gotten a taste of what being with Thomas was like, and she wanted more. Craved more. Her body still

  throbbed with anticipation, restless energy. She wanted Thomas alone. She needed to find out what could

  happen.

  Eli passed the joint to Thomas. He closed his eyes and brought it to his lips. Ariana felt her body tensing.

  Would Thomas rather get high with Eli than spend time with her? He should have been thinking of ways to

  get Eli to leave. A spark of anger flared up inside of her. Why did the men in her life always put her second?

  Her father, Daniel, Thomas. Why did she never come first? "Ariana?" Thomas held the joint in her direction.

  And just like that her irritation melted. He was still thinking of her, including her. Only she had never smoked

  before. It had never quite seemed her. But who the hell knew who she was, what she could do? Didn't just