The Boyfriend Contract

by Victoria James

  The conversation paused as the couple placed their order, followed by Emily and Cooper.

  “Well, we support your idea. Sometimes this town needs to shake things up a bit,” Bob said. “You just keep on trying. Don’t give up.”

  “It was nice meeting you, Emily. Good luck to you. It’s nice to see you doing so well, Cooper,” Mary said, placing her hand on his arm and giving him a sympathetic smile. The couple left, and once Cooper and Emily had paid and were back outside, Emily asked him who they were.

  Cooper stared straight ahead. He held the paper bag in one hand and her with the other. “They, uh, were my old neighbors.”

  Emily glanced at him and squeezed his hand gently. “Oh, like in the house you and Catherine had?”

  He gave a quick nod.

  “They seem like nice people,” she said.

  “They were. They are.” She started to pull her hand from his, but he held on and then pointed to a charming little brick house. “Do you like Mexican food?”

  They had stopped in front of the large town clock surrounded by giant baskets of orange mums. She stared up at Cooper, memorizing what he looked like, what this moment was like with him. He’d dressed up today, his jeans emphasizing his lean hips and height, his navy sweater hugging his broad shoulders. The navy brought out the deeper shades of blue in his eyes. He was a man she would have watched walk by while she sat in a coffee shop. She might have had a daydream about him. He was someone she would probably never have been comfortable going out with. But that was the old her, the one mired in insecurities and doubt.

  “Uh, of course I like Mexican food,” she said, smiling and following him.

  She told herself that nothing had changed between them, but it seemed every time they went out on a date, they were bombarded by Cooper’s past. She knew he was trying not to make an issue of it, but it was there. It hung between them, silently reminding them of a tragic past that would never really go away, a wound that would always keep reopening.

  They spent the day out in the town and then stopped for coffee at Callie’s. “We have a bit of time before tonight. Do you want to come back to my place?” Cooper said, once they’d placed their coffees in the cup holders in his truck.

  She didn’t want to look desperately excited, but yeah, of course she wanted to see his house. “That sounds great,” she said with a smile.

  He drove a few blocks away from downtown and then pulled into a modest, one-story ranch house. There was a large oak tree, and the lawn was nicely kept, but it was very nondescript, not an ounce of Cooper’s personality. He held the door open for her, and she walked inside. The space was an open concept with a fairly modern kitchen. Dark cabinets and stainless-steel appliances. A large island with chairs instead of a kitchen table, which overlooked a great room with a fireplace and giant flat-screen television. There were two leather couches and an ottoman in the middle. It was a bachelor’s home.

  He placed their bag of cheese in the fridge and then came back to the entrance. “So, what do you think?”

  “This is great. You’re very neat and tidy,” she said with a smile.

  He laughed. “I’m not sure whether I should take it as a compliment that you seem surprised by that.”

  “A compliment,” she said, smiling as he grabbed her hand and led her into the family room. “I thought you would have had an old home, since you like them so much.”

  His jaw clenched for a moment. “We did. Catherine and I. I’d do some renovation and restoration on the weekends. But when she got sick, there was no time. After…I lost interest in the place. I didn’t want to live there anymore.”

  She frowned, searching for the right words, but they stood in a kind of silence that seemed to swarm them with Cooper’s past, making it impossible to know what to say. She happened to glance away for a moment, and her gaze rested on the picture on the fireplace mantel. It was Cooper and Catherine on their wedding day. It was as though the air had been sucked out of her. She tried to blink away the moisture in her eyes, but he made eye contact and knew.

  He swore softly under his breath. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? You have nothing to be sorry about,” she said.

  “It’s like every time we go out, you get hit with my past, and it’s not fair to you.”

  She shrugged and forced a smile, knowing none of this was fair to either of them. But it wasn’t his fault. “You can’t hide who you were or that you were married to someone before.”

  He took a step closer to her and took her hand in his. “I know. But it’s not that I was married and divorced and she isn’t in my life because we aren’t in love anymore. I get that. I don’t know what you must feel. I don’t know how I would feel, honestly.”

  Her gaze went from his eyes back to the beautiful picture on the mantel. “I don’t know, really. I’ve never been in a situation like this. Cooper, I’m so in over my head right now I don’t know anything about anything. I don’t even know what we are.”

  He put down his cup of coffee and reached out to frame her face. Everything inside her lit up as he touched her, his strong, work-roughened hands touching her face with a tenderness she dreamt about at night. His blue eyes had darkened, his face taut.

  “I don’t know what we are, either,” he said, his voice deep and thick and sending goose bumps up her arms. “I don’t know what we are, but I know that I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be with you constantly. Hell, I just walked through every store downtown because I wanted to spend the day with you and do something I thought you’d like. I love the sound of your laugh, the sound of your voice. I wake up every day, for the first time in five years, and look forward to my day because I know you’re going to be in it.

  “But I don’t want you thinking I’m looking for someone similar to Catherine or trying to replace her. I don’t want you comparing yourself to her, or whatever. You are the first woman I’ve wanted in five years, and not because I haven’t looked at another woman, but because I didn’t want anyone else. You,” he said, his voice dipping lower, scraping deliciously against her insides. “You, Emily, I want all damn day and night.”

  She leaned against him just as he kissed her. She ran her hands up his hard chest, and everything changed. He kissed her with a hunger she’d never experienced before, that she’d never even imagined could be like this. This feeling, this ache low in her abdomen wasn’t something she could have imagined. His mouth was hard and demanding, and she kissed him back with the same desperation. She’d never felt so wanted, so out of her element yet safe.

  He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist like she was a heroine in a movie. Emily Birmingham didn’t do this kind of thing. Emily would have first fought him picking her up, thinking there was no way he’d be able to lift her. Then as his hands went to cup her bottom, she would have been insecure and worried he thought she was too big. But this Emily? This Emily just responded to his touch, to being touched by him. This Emily felt desire pool in her belly, felt the desire in him and trusted it.

  With one hand still under her butt and the other at the back of her head, he kissed her as he walked. She loved scrunching her fingers in the thick hair at his nape as she clung to him, loved the rich scraping of his stubble against her smooth skin, the sensation of his mouth on hers. She paused as they entered his room, and she knew this was inevitable. He was how old? Thirty, maybe? This was way past the point in relationships where people slept together, right? Maybe. She clung to him, hoping her rapid-fire internal questions would slow down and she could get back to being in the moment with him.

  But reality had a funny way of slapping her around, because as the sun shone through the window, it highlighted two gold bands on Cooper’s dresser. She was in Cooper’s bedroom, the king-size bed a glaring symbol of what they were about to do, yet there were two bands symbolizing his love and commitment to another woman. Had he moved on, really? Was she someone he was attracted to because he hadn’t been with someone in fiv
e years? Had she been easy for him…this shy woman from the city with no history or ties to anyone in Maple Hill? She didn’t think he was that callous, but maybe he wasn’t even aware of it.

  He set her down in front of the bed, and she put her hands on his chest.

  “No pressure,” he said.

  She tore her gaze from his, from his, and tried to voice her concerns in a way that wouldn’t be insulting. “I know this is going to be disappointing, especially if you haven’t had sex in five years—”

  “What? Hell. I don’t need you doing me any favors,” he said, taking a step back, his face like stone. So much for not being insulting.

  “Oh my gosh, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, covering her face for a second, frantically trying to explain. “I just meant…I don’t do this. I…I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Like, never. I’ve never gone on a date, I’ve never talked on the phone with a guy, nothing.”

  The anger drained from his expression, and he went white. “What?”

  She shrugged, increasingly embarrassed as the seconds went by. “I told you about my past and the…issues. I was just never comfortable enough with myself to trust a guy. You saw the contract. You know I have issues. I would clam up every time I talked to a guy, I would stand there and hear all the words that had been spoken to me growing up, and I would transpose them onto the guy, thinking that was what he was thinking. It’s insane, I know, and I’m embarrassed to even tell you.”

  He ran his hands through his hair and let out a breath. “You mean, like, what I think you mean?”

  She threw her hands up. For a girl that didn’t like a lot of attention or embarrassment, this situation was going sideways fast. “Yes, I mean I’ve never had sex. I haven’t even worn a bathing suit after the age of twelve. I’ve never been naked in front of a guy.”

  That pathetic admission hung in the air, and she told herself that she wouldn’t cry, because that would be even more humiliating. She told herself there was a reason she was confiding in him, that her gut had decided he was a man who could be trusted. She told herself, even as he stood there not saying a thing, that he would come through for her.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know what— Hell. This isn’t what I expected. To be honest, that pisses me off.”

  She swallowed hard and folded her hands across her chest. “What?”

  “I mean, it pisses me off to think of you going through life with such little self-esteem. Like, you turn heads, and you don’t even realize it. I know that it shouldn’t be about that, but it’s like you’ve grown up thinking you’re some kind of monster, when the truth is that you’re incredibly attractive. Beautiful. On the inside and out.”

  She stood across from him, from the most kind, handsome man she’d ever known, in his bedroom, and they were worlds apart. He’d experienced a full life. He’d experienced love and death. She’d experienced nothing compared to him. She was only just now finding out who she really was, who she wanted to be, what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She was years behind him.

  He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her face on his chest, listening to the strong beat of his heart. Was this what it was like to be in love with someone? To have them know everything about you and have them defend you and see the best in you? He kissed the top of her head and whispered something. She leaned back and looked up at him.

  “We should probably stop this here,” he said.

  She tried not to appear disappointed. It was the right thing to do. She knew she was falling for him; she was in love with him. And as much as he might like her, or be fond of her, or attracted to her, she didn’t think forever was in the cards for him anymore. And if she slept with him, she would get herself into trouble, because she knew she’d fall for him completely. But the saddest part was that he knew it, too, and was doing the right thing by not getting that close to her.

  As they left the room, her eyes went to the rings again, and she came to terms with the fact that everything they symbolized would prevent her from ever having Cooper’s heart.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I’m so happy you and Cooper are together,” Callie said after Emily ordered. The coffee shop was bustling, and Emily knew her friend didn’t have time to stand and chat—which was perfect because, after her time with Cooper last weekend, she didn’t really know what to say.

  Something had changed. Their easy banter had slowed, and she found herself avoiding him and suspected he was doing the same. But it had been easy to justify because they were both busy. He and his brothers were finishing up the major parts of the renovation, and she was busy with her new plan, which was the other reason she was at Callie’s shop today.

  She didn’t want things to get awkward between her and Callie, because she’d grown so close to her and she loved their friendship. But she couldn’t confide in her about Cooper.

  She forced a bright smile on her face. “Thanks. Me, too. Is your friend here yet?”

  Callie shook her head. “Noel texted to say she’s running a few minutes late, but the window seat is empty. How about you go over and snag that spot, and I’ll bring you guys coffees when she gets here?”

  She nodded. “That’s perfect. You’re the best, Callie.” Emily made her way through the tables, and once she reached her favorite spot, she pulled her laptop and notepad out of her bag. She settled in, telling herself to concentrate on the appointment she had with Noel, who was moving to Maple Hill and could potentially help her pull together her idea for the women’s shelter.

  If she and Noel clicked, then she’d have the support and expertise to move forward with her plan. She hadn’t told anyone yet, but if she could make this happen, then at the next town council meeting, she’d be presenting an entirely different idea.

  The distinct impression that someone was watching made her turn her head to the line, and her stomach dropped as she saw Cooper’s former mother-in-law staring at her. Emily gave a wobbly smile and turned back to her screen.

  Had Bernice heard what Callie had said? Obviously she must know that she and Cooper were dating, since she’d seen them together, and it’s not like she’d expect Cooper to live the rest of his life by himself. She tried to shake off the guilt, but it wasn’t easy, especially with Cooper’s distance. She had believed for a while that she was starting to belong in Maple Hill, but this past week kept reminding her that she was still an outsider. All these people shared a history she wasn’t part of. Maybe she’d never fit in here.

  She glanced back at the line, somewhat relieved to see Bernice wasn’t there anymore. Her pain was palpable, and she couldn’t imagine what that would be like…to see the man who was supposed to be by your daughter’s side for the rest of their lives now living a new life, a life that included a new woman, a new path.

  She tried to shake off her sadness as she settled into her spot and reviewed her notes. This time she would be more prepared for the opposition. She started making a list of the most likely concerns neighbors would bring forward, and then after her list was done, she was going to come up with at least three counterpoints for each. She pulled out a notepad and pen, ready to jot down ideas so she didn’t forget anything.

  “Emily, right?”

  She glanced up to see Catherine’s mother standing in front of her. Her heart pounded, and she forced a casual smile. “Hi, Bernice, nice to see you again.”

  She smiled back her, but it was a tight smile, and Emily’s heart squeezed. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what this woman had lived through, what her day-to-day life was like without her daughter, how many dreams she’d been robbed of. “Yes, it’s nice to see you again, too. We were very happy to see Cooper out again with women,” she said, her voice thin, not sounding happy at all, but her message registering that maybe Cooper was seeing other people, too.

  Emily wasn’t going to take any of this personally, and she knew full well that Cooper wasn’t seeing other people. �
�Would you like to sit down?” she asked, gesturing to the empty seat across from her. She hoped she wouldn’t, though, because she didn’t really sense any friendliness from the woman.

  She gave her a small nod and sat down with her cup of tea. “Are you liking Maple Hill?”

  Emily tried not to let her trepidation show and nodded, pushing her notepad and laptop aside. “I am. I wasn’t sure at first, since I’ve always lived in the city, but I really think this is becoming home.”

  Bernice toyed with her tea bag, her thin hand trembling slightly. “So you’ll be staying here, then?”

  Emily wished Callie would come soon with her coffee refill. She would serve as a great distraction, too. “Yes, I think so. I have plans for my grandmother’s old house,” she said softly.

  Bernice gave her a nod, her gaze darting from Emily to her cup of tea. “The Merrick family is wonderful. I see you’ve also gotten to know Callie. She and Catherine were also very close. Like sisters, really,” she said, her voice a thin whisper, as though the words were barely able to come forward.

  “Yes, they have all welcomed me and become dear to me,” Emily said, aching for the woman across from her, for how tortured she was, while at the same time uncomfortable. It was obvious this was all still very painful for her.

  Bernice pursed her lips. “That’s nice. Do you have a family of your own?”

  Emily opened her mouth and shut it, not knowing how to answer that question without hurting her. She didn’t want to feel guilty, like she and Cooper were doing anything wrong. But even worse was the possibility that Cooper felt the same way. The image of the wedding rings on his dresser was vivid and stabbed her with insecurity. She cleared her throat and shifted in her chair. “I have a brother in Toronto. My parents passed away almost a year ago.”

  She frowned slightly. “I’m sorry to hear that. But you and Cooper seem very happy.”

  “We…are. But it’s…we’re not serious or anything like that,” she said, her voice trailing off.