The Boyfriend Contract

by Victoria James

  She pulled the edges of her sweater coat closer over her thin frame and gazed into the distance, almost like she wasn’t even talking to Emily anymore. The chatter from the crowded coffee shop receded, and Emily clung to her words, even though she knew they were meant to hurt her, but she clung to them because they offered her a glimpse of the man Cooper was before she knew him.

  “He was wonderful to my Catherine. He was like a knight in shining armor, always there for her when she needed him. I knew right from the beginning, when he rang our doorbell and respectfully came to meet us and take Catherine out on their first date, that he was a good man. Of course, he was very young then, but he grew into a wonderful man. They were so lovely together, so vibrant, so happy. Best friends. Soul mates.”

  Emily took a shallow breath, because all of it, hearing about Cooper and Catherine and this woman who was stuck in the past, was so heartbreaking. “He speaks of Catherine that way, with that love you are describing.”

  She folded her hands and stared at Emily. “They were supposed to have children. They were supposed to have the world. They wanted them so badly, and Cooper would have made a wonderful father. They were robbed of that. I’ve never seen such a doting husband. Even when she…when she got her diagnosis, he never gave up hope, he never stopped looking at her like she was the most important, beautiful woman in the world.”

  Emily forced a smile, despite the ache in her heart. “She was so beautiful. I saw her picture. They made a lovely couple,” she said, hoping that she might at least ease her pain slightly.

  “It wasn’t fair,” Bernice whispered. “I…I have to go,” she said, gathering her purse, about to stand.

  Emily reached across the table and held Bernice’s hand, compelled to do something. “I’m sorry. I know Catherine was special. I’m so sorry she is gone, I’m so sorry for what you all had to endure.”

  Bernice stood abruptly, pulling her cold hand from Emily’s. “Thank you. Sorry to have interrupted your work,” she mumbled.

  Before Emily could say that she hadn’t bothered her at all, she was gone.

  As soon as she walked out the door, Emily put her hands over her face and rested her elbows on the table, the load of that conversation weighing her down as Bernice’s words ran through her mind. Cooper would have made a wonderful father. Soul mates. Would any of them ever be able to get on with their lives without Catherine? She had no idea. She had no idea if she was setting herself up for a hard fall. Never mind—she was beyond setting herself up, she was already all-in. She was already in love with Cooper, and no matter what happened, she couldn’t undo that.

  Her stomach churned painfully, and she felt like she was going to be sick. She stared at her closed laptop, wondering how she was going to focus.

  “Hey.”

  Emily looked up to see Callie standing there with a sympathetic smile and two mugs of coffee. “Hi,” Emily said, trying not to sound upset.

  “Sorry I couldn’t get over here sooner. That conversation didn’t seem very fun,” she said, softly, sitting down across from her.

  Emily pulled the mug of coffee closer to her, wrapping her hands around it and taking a sip, trying to collect her thoughts. She couldn’t be honest with Callie… Catherine had been her best friend; she’d been Cooper’s wife. They were all part of that life she knew nothing of. “She seems like a nice lady,” she said, forcing a smile.

  Callie frowned and opened her mouth, but a young woman walked up to them. “Callie!”

  Callie stood up and smiled, hugging her. “It’s so good to see you!” she said. Emily stood, too, as Callie introduced her to Noel.

  “I’m going to grab you a coffee, Noel, and give you two a chance to get started. I know Emily has big plans. I’ll be back,” Callie said with a smile, walking to the counter.

  Emily was relieved because now she’d be forced to get Cooper and Bernice off her mind. She turned her attention to Noel, who was unpacking her bag. She was very pretty, with long, wavy blond hair and big brown eyes. “Thank you so much for meeting with me,” Emily said.

  Noel smiled at her, leaning forward. “I should be saying that to you. Based on our emails, I think you’re onto something important and special, and I’d be really proud to be a part of this.”

  Emily let out a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders. At least something was turning out according to plan.

  …

  “This is what I want to do. For sure,” Emily said.

  “What?” Cooper asked, trying not to notice how gorgeous Emily looked today, trying to keep his emotional and physical distance. He’d barely slept a wink this week because he couldn’t get Emily off his mind, or the fact that he was falling for her, harder than he thought possible. When he wasn’t with her, she was all he thought about, and it had been good to feel, to want, until the other thoughts shoved their way through. He didn’t know what to do with those—the ones that told him to back the hell away before something bad happened, before he got his heart ripped out again. He was mad at himself for thinking like that and for having no solution other than to pull back for both their sakes.

  She spread her arms wide. “This. These girls. Morgan. I don’t want an inn. I don’t want to build my new life around my old ways. I don’t want revenge. I don’t need to prove to my family that I can make my own company and my own set of inns to compete. I don’t want any of it. I want out of the game, and I want to do something meaningful. For the first time in my life, I believe I can do something meaningful, I can impact someone’s life, I can maybe change the course of someone’s life. I have been given this amazing opportunity through the circumstances of birth, and I can either use it to continue to stick it to my brother, or I can change a few lives at a time.”

  God, he loved all that about her. He fought the urge to kiss her and tore his gaze from hers before his control was shot. “So you’ve decided, then. You’re positive?”

  “I want to run a home for girls, teenage girls. Or maybe women and children. I don’t know! I need advice and research, but all I know is that I want to use this big old house for women who need a safe place to live. Is that crazy? Am I crazy?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  Cooper listened intently as Emily read her bulleted list for the town council meeting. He’d never met someone with such drive and enthusiasm. They were sitting outside, enjoying what would probably be one of the last warm days of fall.

  “What do you think?” she said, looking up from her laptop screen.

  “I think you’re incredible. I think you’re the most ambitious person I’ve ever met.”

  She smiled—a beaming, proud smile like his opinion of her was that important. “Really?”

  He nodded, and a wave of uneasiness gripped him by surprise. “You took this from one project to another without blinking an eye. From a business to a charity. Hell, you’re amazing.”

  Her eyes shone, and she glowed. Instead of kissing her, he felt something tighten and was almost…repulsed…at himself. What was he doing? What was he saying to her? He was speaking to her like he was that significant in her life.

  It hit him, then, all this worry for her, this wanting to be around her constantly, the thinking about her constantly, that he was most himself when he was with her.

  He knew what all of this meant because he’d been down this road before. He knew what it was to love, and to love deeply. He knew the pain that went alongside that love, too, and he’d vowed to never go there again. And here he was, in love.

  “So, by next year, I could have funding in place, zoning approved, and this house could be full. You and I can build this together, and we wouldn’t even have to live here in the future and…” She stopped talking, her face turning red. Hell. He should say something to reassure her. But she was making plans…for a future. He didn’t do that. Making plans meant nothing because then life happened and screwed up those plans.

  He’d be worrying about her. He’d be worried that some enraged ex would come
charging in here and go after one of the women and Emily would get hurt. What if she got sick? He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to worry about anyone ever again.

  “Sorry, that was stupid,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He saw the flash of embarrassment and the wobble of her smile—he’d caused that. He caused that to a woman who had worked so hard to get to a place where she was completely comfortable with a man…him. And now he was going to destroy everything she’d built, because he was a coward.

  “I think we should slow down. Maybe step back from whatever it is we are,” he said, doing his best to sound firm but not like an ass. He knew this was coming out of left field, but he had to stop everything. It was too much. Too fast.

  Her face drained of color. “What?”

  He ran a hand over his jaw and maintained eye contact with her, even though it was painful. “I didn’t intend for us…to be anything. We started as friends, and I enjoyed my time with you, but I’m not interested in more than that.”

  Her mouth dropped open for a half second, and then she crossed her arms. “Right. That’s perfect. I wasn’t interested in anything more than a friend, either. I think I was the one who said that originally, right? That’s why we have the contract. Great. So. Phew. Dodged a bullet there.” She was speaking a mile a minute and backed up a few steps, her laptop almost falling as she tucked it under her arms. Her heroic attempt at saving face was killing him.

  He shook his head. “No, not at all. I realize I’m not looking for commitment again, and it’s not fair to drag this out.”

  She was nodding a little too quickly for it to be good.

  “Me too. This is great timing, anyway. I have friends here now. And Morgan. And the women I’ll be helping. Who has time to date their contractor?”

  He swallowed hard, knowing this was all bullshit, knowing that he was hurting her just as much as he was hurting himself. He didn’t want to be like the other men in her life who’d let her down.

  “Emily…”

  She gave him a sad smile, like a pitiful smile. “I know you’ve been incredibly, unbearably hurt. I know you were married to the best woman out there. I know you guys had all the same hobbies and interests, and she was brave and strong, and I probably would have loved her just as much as everyone else did. Still does. I know you miss her, and I know there is a part of you that will always, always love her. I was fine with that. I don’t think you can love someone deeply and then just shut out that part of your life when someone else comes along. I may never have been in love before…but I understand that. So, you can go, guilt-free. Goodbye.”

  He wanted to take that offer and run, but he knew it wasn’t that simple. He knew she was trying to hold onto what was left of her pride, and he hated himself for it. She was so incredibly wrong about him. She believed this was because of Catherine, that he was still in love with her, but that wasn’t it at all.

  The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, but if he laid it all out there, if he told her everything, there would be no going back. He’d be all-in. He swore he’d never be all-in again.

  Her phone rang, and the Darth Vader ringtone filled the silence with cruel irony. She shot him a smile. “See? I have lots going on.”

  He clenched his fists, hating that she was still dealing with that jerk, and now she’d be doing it all on her own again. “You don’t have to answer it.”

  She stared at him as the music continued. He’d lost the right to give her advice, to be protective. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine,” she said.

  He turned from her because it was killing him to know he was the cause of the pain and vulnerability on her face.

  “No, wait,” she called out.

  He reluctantly stopped.

  “Just in case you get it in your head that I’m not going to be okay without you—I’m going to be just fine. I came to Maple Hill because the men in my life screwed me over. I vowed to get revenge, but I did even better than that because I’m helping other women. But don’t for a second think I can’t move forward with this plan without you. I’ll go to that council meeting without you, and I’ll convince the town that approving this is the right thing to do. I’ll build this place into something amazing for other women, and I’ll do it without a man. So, thanks for our time together. You’re a great guy, and I’m so glad you ended this now.”

  Well, hell. He’d never considered himself one of the bad guys until now. The fact that she lumped him in with her father and brother was insulting, but he knew from her perspective, it was pretty damn accurate. He’d failed her. She’d given him her honesty and her secrets, and he was turning his back on her. He cleared his throat past the lump in it and stared into her defiant eyes, admiring her strength. “I know you will.”

  He left, walking away from the woman who’d managed to enter his heart when he’d closed it off. She was the woman who made him laugh, who got under his skin, who listened to him, who trusted him. She was the woman that turned him on and made him feel alive again for the first time in five years. And he was a coward. He was a coward who was afraid of loving her unabashedly in case he lost her. He knew there would never be another chance if something happened to her. He knew he would never recover again. He was fine living alone. He was fine not having kids.

  He was fine with all of it until Emily came along. She made him wish for things

  But he wasn’t fine with how he broke her heart along with his own. He wasn’t fine with how he let her believe he wasn’t able to love her because of Catherine, or that she couldn’t come first over a woman who was no longer here. He wouldn’t forgive himself for that. Because Emily was a woman who deserved to come first.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Cooper?”

  He looked up to see Catherine’s mother standing in the doorway of Emily’s home, her lips pinched and a deep worry line in her forehead. “Hi, Bernice, are you okay?”

  She gave a small smile and nodded, walking in, turning her head, taking in the restored entrance, her gaze lingering on the freshly painted and stained staircase. “This is beautiful. You boys have done a wonderful job.”

  He nodded. “Well, it’s all Emily’s direction, her vision,” he said gently. He had actually just been admiring the place, and the fact that Emily had decided to change her plans from making this a profitable five-star inn to opening a shelter for women and children. That kind of selflessness was inspiring…it was who she was…and he’d broken her heart.

  He had believed that by breaking up with her, he was protecting himself. The only problem was, he was in too deep. Because not being with her every day was no kind of life, either. He just didn’t know what the hell he was going to do about it. He had been thinking far too much lately. He was second-guessing things. He was letting fear control his life.

  Bernice’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Cooper, I’m so sorry.”

  He walked over to her, placing his hands on her arms. “You don’t have to apologize to me. What’s happened?

  “I was horrible to her. I was a jealous, petty woman, and I’m so sorry. I came here to apologize to Emily,” she said.

  He swallowed hard as dread filled him. He’d hurt Emily, he didn’t need to hear that she was now being hurt by other people, too, because of him. “She’s not here.”

  “Can you call her for me?”

  He let his head fall back, dropping his arms. “We’re not in a very good spot right now, but I can leave her a message that you stopped by.”

  She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, please don’t let it be anything I’ve said.”

  His stomach dropped. “Why? What did you say?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

  “I…I saw her at the coffee shop, and she was sitting there, beautiful and alive and…I was overcome with rage and jealousy. It should have been my Catherine sitting there, happy that she has you in her life, but she’s gone. I sat there and talked about how you and Catherine were soul mates and h
ow much you both wanted to be parents. Oh, Cooper, I’m sorry. I made it sound like there would never be anyone as good for you as Catherine. I think I broke her heart,” she said, covering her face and sobbing. He pulled her into his arms, and she clutched his sides.

  “It’s okay. I’ll talk to her,” he managed to say through the ache in his throat. Emily didn’t deserve any of their baggage, and she’d been saddled with all of it. All she’d heard about was Catherine. He had seen the sadness in their faces, and he didn’t even know how to introduce Emily. It felt stupid to say she was his girlfriend, because she hadn’t been, and he didn’t want to hurt them.

  He wasn’t doing anything wrong, and he wasn’t guilty of anything. He knew they would never want him to remain single for the rest of his life. But he cared deeply for them. They were good people, and while he could go on with his life, they couldn’t. They couldn’t go back and have more children. They would never have grandchildren. Their lives were set in stone now, and it was just the two of them living out the rest of their days without the daughter they adored.

  Bernice pulled back and sniffled. “She should have been angry with me. She should have yelled at me and told me to leave. Do you know what she did?”

  His teeth were clenched, and he shook his head.

  She wiped her eyes. “She reached across the table and held my hand, Cooper. She knew I was in pain, and she showed me so much compassion. I didn’t deserve her compassion. She’s a lovely person, inside and out.”

  He nodded, the emotion in his chest making it impossible to speak. God, he loved Emily.

  “I will never get over my daughter not being here, I will never get over all my old dreams of holding grandbabies one day, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. You’re a young, wonderful man, and you deserve all of that. You were the best son-in-law we could have ever asked for. You made us so proud. Please, please don’t ruin the rest of your life by living on memories or living in fear of loving again. In my heart, as I was sitting across from Emily, I knew she was special. Live your life, Cooper. Fall in love again, have babies, have dreams to grow old.”