Guarded Hearts (Love in Sienna Series Book 3)

by Laura John

  Again, the crowd cheers.

  I step out and kiss Crystal hard. They are so going to pay for this later. I turn to the band and nod, and they start playing. Olivia dances without a care in the world. When the song is over, she blows kisses and runs offstage to Crystal.

  The rest of the set is awesome. After three songs, Kyle takes down the ridiculous cut-outs, but I’m sure they haven’t disappeared forever.

  “You’ve been great, Sienna! Have a great night!” I yell to the crowd, and exit the stage.

  “Where’s Olivia?” I ask Crystal.

  “Carol, Mikey’s mom, took her for the night,” she says with a mischievous smile on her face.

  I pull her by the hips close to me and smash my mouth to hers. “So that means I have you all to myself?”

  She nods.

  Thank fuck! Olivia is great, but she turns out to be a massive cock block.

  “Do you want to stay out and party with the guys? Or go home and have a party for two?” I ask as I kiss her neck.

  “Party for two sounds like fun,” she giggles, then lets out a small moan when I bite down on her earlobe.

  “Fuck yeah,” I whisper, grabbing her hand to leave.

  Normally, I would stay and help the guys tear down, since we don’t have our usual stagehands for this set. But I have more important things to do tonight, and I don’t think the guys will mind.

  “Peace out, Kyle!” I yell as we leave the theater.

  There is no need to say goodbye to the others; I’ll see them tomorrow at the recording studio anyway.

  “Don’t go,” Crystal whines.

  I kiss her again and again. “I’ll be home tonight, and I have a present for you.”

  “Christmas is a month away. Why are you buying me a present now?” she asks.

  I know she still hates getting presents, but I don’t care. I love spoiling her.

  “I do what I want,” I tell her before kissing her one more time.

  As I pull out of the driveway, my phone starts ringing. I normally check the caller ID, but I just press the button on my steering wheel to answer.

  “What’s up?” I ask, checking to see if any vehicles are coming.

  “Dusty, I’m pregnant,” comes Nina’s voice.

  I slam on the brakes, feeling like an elephant stepped on my chest, and I quickly pull over.

  “What?” I say, barely able to form words.

  “Meet me at Sip and Savor. We have to talk,” she says.

  I manage to choke out an agreement, and then I hang up.

  I run a hand through my hair. I should call Crystal. Have her come with me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle a situation like this. How do you tell your girlfriend you got another girl pregnant, but don’t get upset because it was before you were a thing? Fuck. This is not going to go over well.

  Me: Tell the guys I have to cancel. I’m sorry. An emergency came up.

  Kyle: Are Crystal and Olivia okay?

  Me: Yeah. I’ll explain later.

  I put the car back in drive and head to the coffee shop. How does life go from so good to so fucked up so fast?

  “Hey,” Nina says with a small smile as she stands up to give me a hug.

  Fuck, she’s huge. Why didn’t she tell me about this sooner?

  Actually, come to think of it, she probably tried, but I deleted every text.

  “How are you doing?” I ask, sitting down across from her.

  “Not bad. The baby is great. He’s due in a couple of weeks,” she says with a sad smile.

  “Holy shit. I’m having a son?”

  She nods. “I tried texting you, but you weren’t responding. I know you have a new girl in your life, and that you’re happy, but this is your baby, and he needs you.” She takes a drink of her water before continuing in a whisper that I can barely hear over the rest of the chatter in the café. “I need you.”

  I grab her hand across the table. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. If I’d known, I would have been there for you.”

  I’m having a baby, but not with the woman I love. How am I supposed to handle this?

  “I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days. Do you want to come along?” she asks.

  I smile. “I’d love to. Text me the date and time, and I’ll make sure I’m available.”

  Her face lights up, and I feel like I need to tell her the truth.

  “I’m going to be there for the baby, but you and I are done,” I clarify. “You are my friend, and if you need anything, I’ll give it to you. But my heart belongs to Crystal, my girlfriend.”

  Her face falls for a moment, but then it changes slightly.

  “The baby is kicking. Come feel it,” she says.

  I quickly move to kneel in front of her.

  “Holy shit,” I say with a grin as I feel the baby kick.

  That is the craziest thing I have ever felt. My son is growing in there. I’m going to be a dad. This is insane.

  I stand, and Nina does the same.

  “Thank you for coming,” she sighs.

  She gives me a hug and I wrap her in my arms. When she pulls away, she places her lips gently on mine.

  “We could have been really good together,” she whispers before walking away.

  I should have pushed her away when she kissed me, but it was a goodbye kiss, and I felt like Nina needed it. I sit back down at the empty table. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with everything and keep Crystal happy?

  “Thanks for meeting me for lunch,” I tell Cara as I sit across from her.

  “Anytime! It’s hard to make real girlfriends when you’re an up and coming country singer. Everyone just wants something from you. But I know that’s not you,” she says.

  “Definitely not. I’m really sorry about how our first meeting went, by the way.”

  “It’s all good!” she assures me. “Emergencies happen.”

  “How is your experience at Transcendent so far?” I ask her, hoping everything is going well.

  “So good.” She beams. “Abby is a doll! She lets me post what I want on social media, but helps make it more polished. She’s becoming a good friend of mine as well.”

  “I’m so glad to hear. She really is awesome. I’m glad you guys are getting along well.”

  The waiter comes and takes our orders, and we keep the conversation fairly light.

  “So, your tour starts soon, right?” I ask her after a bite of my salad.

  “Yes! I’m so excited! I’m opening for Kelsea Ballerini, and I think I’m going to die,” she says, bouncing up and down in her chair.

  “Your music is amazing. I’m sure you’re going to do great.”

  My phone buzzes, but I ignore it. It’s just a notification. But then it keeps buzzing and buzzing with more and more notifications. I give Cara a look.

  “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m getting so many notifications,” I tell her, trying to silence it.

  “Just look at them. I’m kind of curious,” she says, giggling.

  I shake my head and open my phone, just to have it slip from my hand and fall to the ground. I’m frozen for a moment before I feel my food wanting to come back up.

  I quickly run to the bathroom and lose my lunch. I vomit over and over again before the tears start falling.

  “I love you forever,” Dustin’s voice says in my head.

  I vomit some more. It’s just bile now and my whole body hurts.

  How can this be happening? I was finally happy. I thought that I could be loved. For one moment, I thought my life was going to have a happy ending. And now I know that isn’t possible.

  Dustin is cheating on me, and his girlfriend is pregnant. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.

  “Are you okay?” Cara asks softly from outside the bathroom stall.

  I didn’t even bother to lock the door. She pushes it open gently and crouches down, rubbing my back.

  “I’m sorry you always get bad news with me,” she whispers.r />
  I shake my head, not looking up. “This isn’t on you. It’s on him.”

  She hands me my phone, and it starts ringing. Seeing that it’s Tia, I answer.

  “I’m on my way to your house. Are you there?” she asks, and I can hear the running of her vehicle.

  “I will be soon. I was out for lunch, but I don’t want to be in public right now.”

  “I’ll give you a ride home,” Cara tells me.

  I nod.

  The ride home is quiet. I turn my phone to silent, because it’s blowing up. I’ve never been the center of a scandal like this before, and I don’t know how celebrities do it.

  As we pull up to my house, I feel the bile rising in my throat again as I see Dustin’s truck.

  “Do you want to come to my house?” Cara asks.

  I shake my head. “No. Damon is on his way and will kick Dustin’s ass if he has to.”

  I step out of the car and walk past the truck. Dustin climbs out.

  “Leave,” I say, not looking at him. I just keep walking.

  He grabs my arm and spins me to face him.

  “Let me explain,” he says.

  I feel like my head is underwater. Nothing feels real and everything sounds muffled.

  “Explain?!” I scream. “There are pictures of you kissing a pregnant woman all over the Internet, touching her belly, smiling at her. Is the baby yours?”

  My whole body is shaking now, I’m so upset.

  He nods. “Yes, but it was before you and I were together.”

  “I don’t care, Dustin. You’ve made me look like a fool. It doesn’t fucking matter when you knocked her up. What matters is you are having a baby with another woman. What does that mean for Olivia and me? Or did you even think about that?” I challenge.

  He starts to speak, but I cut him off.

  “I can’t deal with this right now. If you want to keep that pretty face of yours intact, you’ll leave now. Damon is on his way, and you know he’ll kick your ass.”

  I turn and head into my house, where Tia, Mikey, Leah, Johnny, and Cara are waiting.

  “Crystal, please!” Dustin yells, but I don’t turn around.

  I close the door behind me and fall to the ground. I finally let out the scream that has been inside me since I saw the pictures. I pull my knees to my chest and sob more than I have in my entire life. I thought I loved Gavin, but that wasn’t love. What I felt for Dustin was real love. He owned my entire heart, and he just put it through a shredder.

  I barely notice Johnny picking me up and moving me to my bed. Everyone is talking around me, but I don’t make out words. I keep my eyes closed, trying to force myself to sleep. I might feel like I’m dying right now, but I have a child to take care of.

  I will allow myself one day of sorrow. Tomorrow, life goes on.

  “I want Duddy!” Olivia cries while I rock her.

  What am I supposed to tell a four-year-old about this whole situation? I never should have tried a relationship with Dustin. I knew it would only end up breaking us.

  “He can’t come over right now.” I pet her hair and continue to rock her.

  “Can I call him?” she asks with hopeful eyes.

  My heart breaks for my little girl.

  “No. He’s really busy.”

  “Does he not love me anymore?” Her cries are soft, but I feel the moisture on my shirt from where she is cuddled in.

  “Of course he does. He’ll always love you. I promise you’ll see him soon. It’s just going to be a little while, okay?”

  She nods into my chest, but still clings to me.

  I pray to God that I’m not lying to my child. I want her to see Dustin and continue to have a relationship with him. I just don’t know how this is all supposed to work.

  “Are you coming to the work Christmas party tonight?” Maribelle asks, but I shake my head.

  “Nope. Staying in with Olivia,” I tell her.

  It’s what I do every day. I work, I go home, and I spend time with Olivia. When she goes to bed, I grab a glass of wine or three and then go to sleep and start all over again.

  Olivia doesn’t understand why Dustin isn’t around anymore. She cries for him every night, and it destroys me. But I don’t have an answer for her. It’s only been two weeks since we broke up, so I assume it’s going to get worse before it gets better.

  How does split custody work for someone who isn’t actually a father? Well, not to my child anyway.

  “You should really come out. It’s been weeks,” Maribelle tells me.

  It’s the same story I’ve heard a hundred times.

  “He’ll be there,” I tell her.

  It’s the real reason I’m not going tonight. Not only are staff invited, but all clients, and I know Dustin will be there. He might not be my client anymore, but he’s still a client of the company.

  He tries calling me, but I never answer. I delete the texts and voicemails without reading or listening to them.

  Grabbing my coat, I give Maribelle a hug. “Have fun tonight, all right? And remember I’m taking a few months of holidays. I’ll be back after the wedding in February.”

  She nods and gives me a sad smile. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

  I nod.

  I’m almost at the elevator when Tia stops me.

  “Come to my office, please,” she tells me before walking away.

  I sigh and follow her. She is my boss, after all.

  “You’re really not coming tonight?” she asks as she shuts the door behind me.

  “Do we really have to have this talk? You know why I can’t be there,” I tell her while grabbing a Kleenex off the table. “I just want to go home watch a movie and be alone. That’s my life, Tia. I’m going to be alone forever, and I’m okay with that. I’m just sick of everyone trying to make it something bigger than it is. Dustin is having a baby. We’re over. I have Olivia, and she’s all I need.”

  Tia pulls me into her arms. I love the way she can make me feel better.

  “Have fun tonight,” I tell her before standing and walking out.

  I’m a bottle of wine in and opening another when my doorbell rings.

  “Who the fuck is that?” I slur to no one.

  I look out the window, and Damon, Shae, and Cara are standing there. I open the door, beyond confused.

  “What is all this?” I ask as they push past me with arms full of bags.

  “It’s time to decorate!” Cara shrieks.

  I roll my eyes. It’s safe to say I haven’t really been in the holiday spirit. I haven’t been in the spirit of anything. Except the spirit of moping.

  I put on the happy face for Olivia, and I have been considering decorating for her, but it just hasn’t happened.

  Shae turns on the Christmas music, and I giggle at how happy they all look. This is my family. I don’t need a man. I never have. I was just stupid for a couple of minutes. That’s all.

  We decorate, eat food, laugh, and drink for hours when the doorbell rings again.

  “Who the hell is that?” I ask.

  Everyone shakes their heads, just as confused as I am. I stumble to the door, almost too drunk to walk.

  “Merry Christmas!” Leah and Tia shout, followed by Mikey and Johnny.

  “Since you refused to come to our Christmas party, we thought we’d crash yours,” Leah says, pulling me into her arms.

  I smile a genuine smile. I’m happy tonight. Dustin is barely in my thoughts, and when he enters them, it doesn’t hurt as bad.

  My heart can heal. I can move on. My family is helping me do it.

  Me: I know you won’t respond to this. I doubt you even read these. But, as I say every night, I love you. You ever need me, I’m here.

  I put my phone on the counter and pour myself a glass of scotch.

  Life has sure been interesting the last couple of weeks. Nina and I hang out a lot. Our friendship is almost back to how it was, but there is a bit of a strain. I know she wants more than just friendship from
me, but I can’t give it to her. My heart belongs to Crystal, even if she doesn’t want it.

  The baby is due any day, and I’m nervous and excited. I still can’t believe I’m going to be a dad. I wish things had gone differently, but I won’t abandon my kid.

  My phone rings, and I quickly answer it.

  “The baby is coming,” Nina says, her voice coated in emotion.

  “Did you call an ambulance or am I coming to get you?” I ask, not sure what to do, as I rush out the door to my truck.

  “Just meet me at the hospital. I love you,” she says before hanging up.

  She’s said it a few times, but I can’t say it back. I won’t give her false hope. We aren’t a couple. She’s just my friend who is carrying our baby.

  Rushing into the hospital, I ask the front desk where to find Nina and they give me directions to her room.

  “Hey. How’s it going?” I ask her when I get in.

  She looks up and gives me a tired smile. “I’m good. You just missed the epidural. I wasn’t sure I wanted one, but when the contractions felt like someone cutting me from the inside out, I decided it would probably be best. Now I’m just tired.”

  I grab a chair and sit down beside her bed. “Sorry it took me a bit. Traffic was shit.”

  “Honestly, it’s fine. It’s been pretty anti-climactic at this point.” She reaches out and grabs my hand. “Thank you for being here.”

  “I would never miss the birth of my child,” I tell her.

  She looks away for a moment. I want to ask her what that was about, but I decide to drop it.

  “So, what do you want to do once he’s born? Should we move in together? Try a relationship?” she asks with hopeful eyes.

  I don’t want to hurt her while she’s already in labor, but I can’t lie either.

  “No, Nina. We aren’t a couple, and we won’t ever be. You should stay at your place, and I’ll visit. When he’s older, we’ll talk joint custody. I’ll support you financially, but that’s it. We’re just friends,” I remind her. We’ve had this conversation already, more than once.

  She looks down, playing with the thin blanket. She gives a small nod, but doesn’t say anything.