Lost: The Complete Series

by Lila Kane

  Curious, and grateful he asked me instead of ordering me this time, I sat on the bench and watched as he started to pull items out of the basket.

  “What’s all this?” I asked.

  “Lunch.”

  I laughed softly. “Davies really went out of his way to make sure we were set, didn’t he?”

  Joseph looked up, his eyes on mine. He gave me a mild look. “I packed this.”

  I looked down again, taking in the sandwiches and fruit and cheese. Then the bottles of water he set on the wooden slats next to him.

  “That…” I tried to reel in my surprise. “That was really nice of you.”

  “I can be nice.”

  My mouth popped open again, surprised at the defensiveness in his tone. “I never meant to imply… I mean, you opened up your house to me and I’ll always be grateful for that—”

  “Always be grateful?” he asked, eyes lighting with amusement. But I didn’t miss the uncertainty in his voice. “You make it sound like you’re leaving and I’ll never see you again.”

  I bit my lip. But when I noticed his eyes dropped to my mouth, I stopped what I was doing and told him quickly, “You know this isn’t working. I appreciate you letting me stay while I did, and I know you think it’s safer—”

  “It is safer, Allison.”

  And there he went, saying my name again, like we were something more. My throat dried, feeling that familiar ache inside of me to be something more. But we couldn’t make or force relationships, and sometimes we couldn’t even fix ones we were already in.

  “I understand what you’re saying,” I said, trying to sound reasonable. No, trying to be reasonable because this was a new Allison. “But if it’s making us this miserable—”

  “It’s making you miserable?” Joseph cursed silently under his breath and then shoved the sandwich toward me. “Eat.”

  I folded my arms instead. “This. This is what I’m talking about. We don’t… mesh.”

  “Mesh?”

  “Yes!” I shook my head. “You don’t understand how hard it is for me. I’m trying to—to become the person I need to be—the person I used to be—and it’s not working. Living with you, living this way, isn’t working.”

  I ventured a glance over and saw his lips part, like he was going to argue. Then he cursed again, stood and shoved his hands into his pockets.

  “This isn’t—fuck.” He stepped up to me, close enough his shoes touched mine. “We got off on the wrong foot.”

  “You think?”

  “Dammit, Allison.” After another curse, he sat again, facing me. “That’s not what I meant.”

  I lifted my eyebrows at him. “Then what did you mean?”

  “This is as hard for me as it is for you. I’m trying to make the best choices for you and everything is getting in the way.”

  I shook my head. What was he talking about? “I don’t know what you mean. What’s getting in the way?”

  “Feelings.”

  That’s all he was going to give me? Feelings? Was he saying he had feelings for me? Still, having feelings for someone didn’t mean that they got hurt. I’d learned as much and more when I was with Don. I cared about him, or at least I had, but that didn’t mean it was supposed to be. It started off as attraction on my end and turned into infatuation on his, and real feelings were muddled inside of it all.

  “I’m going to need more than that,” I told him, my arms crossed.

  He glared down at me. “You want too damn much, woman.”

  “I’m only asking for one little thing.”

  He narrowed his eyes. Then he nodded, his face going professional like he was in negotiation mode. “Name it.”

  “Honesty.”

  He actually closed his eyes and dropped his chin, taking several audible breaths until he came to some sort of conclusion. Then he opened his eyes and met mine. “Like I said, you want too damn much.”

  I stood abruptly. “Then I’m leaving.”

  I turned, prepared to march straight for the limo and order the driver to take me home so I could pack my things. But behind me Joseph snapped one word, his voice rough and demanding. “No.”

  I turned around slowly as the frustration built up inside of me. As everything I’d given to Don that had been taken away from me built up inside. I was through living my life for someone else, and through with being bossed around. I stepped right up to him, my face only inches from his, and said, “Don’t you dare speak to me like that.”

  “Allison—”

  “No.” I snapped the word just like he had and had the pleasure of him seeing him flinch just slightly. “Apologize.”

  This time, it was surprise that whispered across his face. That gave me a moment of pleasure, too. Me, Allison, the girl who was running from her past, had intimidated and then surprised billionaire mogul Joseph Barringer.

  He lifted his chin and held my gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  Nothing more, just those two words. But that was enough.

  And then his eyes dropped to my mouth again. His breath caught, and my lips parted. In a flash, he swooped in. His lips covered mine, soft and demanding at the same time. His arms came around me, pulling me against his body. He was like a brick wall, hard all the way down. He was as disciplined with his body as he was with his job. As he was with everything, apparently. Particularly his relationships. Because I could tell this was a struggle for him. It was like he was doing this against as will, and what had happened on his couch with his head between my legs…that seemed to be against his will as well.

  But he didn’t stop this time. He kissed me with a desperation I felt as well. I clung to him while he devoured my mouth, his tongue licking deep inside and driving me crazy. I wanted him. Right here, right now. Just like I had wanted him on his couch.

  I pulled back at the thought. Not again. I wasn’t going to do this again.

  Joseph still clung to me, his mouth raining kisses down my cheek onto my exposed collarbone underneath my jacket. “Allison,” he murmured, voice deep and husky.

  “Stop.” When he continued to kiss me, I infused power into my voice. “Stop. Right now.”

  Joseph jerked back like I had slapped him and stared at me in confusion. His eyes were still hazy with desire, and it took a moment for them to clear.

  I held my hand out, stopping him from reaching for me. “No. I won’t do this again. Last time…”

  “Shit,” he said. “Allison. This isn’t last time. I can’t—I won’t let it be.”

  “What you mean?”

  “I mean, I made a mistake. I tried to fight this.” He gestured between us. “This thing between us. And I lost.”

  My feet were fused to the ground in surprise. I was frozen in shock, unsure what to say or what to do. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s simple,” he said. His motions were slow, testing as he reached out again. His fingers closed over my upper arm, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I want you.”

  My heart pounded against my ribs in shock. “No,” I said so softly he could barely me. “You’re just saying that.”

  His eyes darkened on mine. “I don’t ever just say something for the sake of saying it. If I say I want you, Allison, and that’s not what you’re looking for, I’ll step back. But if it is, then I intend to have my way.”

  His words hit me right in my core, the throbbing in between my legs immediate. It wasn’t a question of whether or not I wanted him, it was a question of whether or not he was going to hurt me. And he already had. But hell, I still wanted him. And now I knew he wanted me too.

  Focus, Allison. Think with your head, not with your heart. I lifted my chin. “How do I know you won’t do the same thing as last time?”

  “I give you my word,” he said.

  Don had given his word numerous times in the past. And broken his word numerous times. I swear it won’t happen again. You just make me so angry sometimes. I promise I’ll get help.

  Joseph took my cheeks between his pal
ms, surprisingly gentle. “My word is my bond. Trust me.”

  I fell into his gaze, into the sincerity of his words, and then nodded just slightly. “Okay,” I whispered. “But I want the truth from you when I ask, and I want to know what happened the other night.”

  “Then I’ll give it to you. The truth.”

  But then his mouth was on mine again, my body plastered against his as I felt his erection press into my hip. Oh God, I wanted him so bad right now, something to set my mind free from all the serious talk. To have his hands running down my body, squeezing every part of me, caressing me and making me come. I needed that now, almost as much as I needed the truth. Maybe more.

  The first raindrop fell. For a moment, neither of us even reacted. We were caught up in each other, our hands and mouths all over each other. It occurred to me briefly that our limo driver might be watching, but then I didn’t care. I parted my lips further, letting Joseph lick deeper into my mouth, claiming me. But just like last night, the sky opened up and dropped huge raindrops on our heads, yanking us away from the moment.

  Joseph cursed and reached for the basket. He pulled out an umbrella and popped it open to hold over our heads. He waved to the limo driver, and the driver hopped out of the car and ran in our direction to help. Joseph clutched my hand and pulled me into the limo. “Come on. I need to get you home now, or else I might have to take you in the car.”

  Desire shot straight between my legs. He could take me in the limo if he wanted. He could take me wherever he wanted. As long as he took me. The driver ran back to the car, getting inside as the outside world was washed away by the storm. Then he took us the only place I wanted to go right now.

  Home.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Joseph clutched my hand in his the entire car ride home. His grip was so hard, it was almost painful. I could see the tension and body, in his jaw when gritted his teeth, and knew he was holding back. But he didn’t touch me other than holding my hand, other than running his finger along my palm so I shivered. So I had to squeeze my thighs together as the throbbing increased between my legs.

  “When we get home,” Joseph said, “I’m taking you straight to my bed.”

  It was halfway between a threat and a promise, and only turned me on more. “Please.” My response was halfway between a question and a plea, but definitely giving him permission to take what he wanted. To give us both what we wanted.

  Once the house came into view, my anticipation heightened. I watched through the window as we passed through the gate and then around the stone courtyard, where I spotted Davies just inside the archway holding an umbrella. When the limo came to a stop, he raced to the door and opened it for me. Under the shelter of the umbrella, I let him escort me into the lobby. I was shivering but it was mostly out of anticipation, not cold. Then Joseph came inside under his own umbrella. He passed it over to Davies immediately and, to my surprise, strode straight toward me and lifted me into his arms. He headed to the staircase, yelling back to Davies, “Hold my calls. Don’t disturb us.”

  My cheeks flamed with embarrassment. Clearly. Davies knew what would happen. But either this was common, which I hoped not, or he was the most professional person in the world.

  All he said was, “Yes, sir,” before vanishing.

  We rounded the stairwell and headed in the opposite direction of my room. I hadn’t ventured farther down this wing before. I’d only seen quick glimpses a few rooms with Davies. But I hadn’t seen Joseph’s. When he walked through a set of double doors, I gaped at the size of the space. This was a whole house in and of itself. But I barely had a moment to look around before Joseph was lowering me to the bad.

  His clothes were wetter than mine, a few drops of water dripping on to me as he leaned over, placing his hands on either side of my head.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, voice low.

  “You made a promise.”

  “And I’ll tell you the truth right now if that’s what you want.”

  I reached up and touched his cheek, the soft spray of stubble brushing my hand. “I trust you,” I said. It was hard to say those words out loud after I’d been hurt so badly by a man in the past, but they were true. “Tell me after.”

  He exhaled, and the tension seemed to drain from him. He took off his wet shirt and tossed it aside. I let my eyes feast on his chest, the strength in his arms and shoulders, his rock-hard abs, and that mouthwatering V that disappeared into his pants and made me want to kiss right there.

  I made my move, sliding to the end of the bed and sitting up so my legs hung over the edge. I reached for him, my hands connecting with muscle. He was a sculptor’s dream, every piece of him perfect. A piece of art. Almost too good to be true. And he was standing right in front of me, his dick straining against his pants, so close me, my mouth watered.

  “Allison,” he said, voice strained.

  It turned me on that he needed me this badly, that it was almost painful for him to hold back. He reached out, but I shook my head.

  “You already had your turn,” I said softly, my voice a caress. And he had. He’d had his hands on me and his fingers in me, and his face between my legs. It was my turn to touch and to take.

  “God, I need you,” he said, the same strain in his voice.

  I slowly undid his pants and the whisper of the zipper ran through the quiet of the room. An erotic sound, a sound that said there would be flesh against flesh soon. I eased his pants off his sculpted hips, taking his boxers with them. His cock sprung free. It was an effort for me to take my time, to hold back when I wanted my mouth on him so badly. But we’d been building toward this moment too long, and now that it was here, I was going to take my time.

  Joseph’s body was filled with tension again, this time in anticipation of where I was going to put my hands and my mouth. I could see it in his shoulders as he stood statue-still in front of me. Even his eyes darkened so they were almost black as they stared down at me, his lips parted like he had something to say.

  I slid off the bed and knelt in front of him, reveling in the way he exhaled again. I used my hands to slide up his muscular calves and then to his thighs. Then higher up to the part of him I’d never seen before. The part I’d imagined a thousand times. Back in school when I’d been young, and many times after that. Especially the other night when he fucked me with his tongue on his couch.

  Just the idea of that had me throbbing and wet, wishing my own clothes were off so that I could be naked it when I took him into my mouth.

  I looked up as my tongue came out and watched as his eyes riveted on his dick right in front of my face. I licked the head of his cock, tasting just a drop of the pre-cum. It made me so hot, I gripped his ass, as much as to have a hold on him as to hold myself up. Then I moved my tongue to the underside, licking all the way from root to tip. He growled, and his hands came out, sliding into my hair and clenching at the roots. I could tell it was taking all he had not to pull me closer against him.

  “God, that feels so good,” he groaned.

  So I gave him more, his cock mine to do whatever I wanted.

  I parted my lips just slightly, pressing them on the head of his cock and then eased in ever so slowly to let his dick inside. He was huge, bigger and more magnificent than I had expected. I took him deeper and deeper as the sound of his groans of pleasure filled the room. Then I let him set the pace. Let him thrust into my mouth as he pleased. It was giving me just as much pleasure to have my lips wrapped around him as it was for him to enter me over and over again, his cock pulsing inside of me. I tightened my lips for more friction and it gave me a thrill when he groaned again.

  “Fuck,” he said. “Allison, dammit—”

  He couldn’t form coherent sentences. Instead, he gripped my head tighter and continued to thrust his hips against my face. I gripped his thighs and squeezed. Joseph’s body shook, as though he was on the brink of release. Part of me wanted to take it, take all of him so I could give him the same pleasure h
e gave me on the couch the other day. But then his hands tightened my hair again.

  “No,” he gasped. “Not yet.”

  Before I could pull back, he gripped my shoulders and hauled me upright. My body was against his. Fully clothed but just as damp on the inside as they were on the outside. I needed him so badly, and right now he must’ve had the same feeling because his hands were a frenzy on me. They pulled at my jacket, unzipping it and tossing it aside. Then he yanked off my T-shirt and paused, his eyes traveling down my chest and lingering on the swell of my breasts before he reached up reverently. He cupped my tits in his hands, brushing his thumbs on the peaks of my nipples.

  “I’ve thought about doing this for a long time,” he said. It was similar to what he said before, like I wasn’t the only one in this, the only one who had fantasized about our bodies coming together. Naked. Flesh to flesh.

  “I’ve thought about doing this for a long time, too,” I whispered, lifting my lips to kiss his jaw.

  “I need to be inside you.”

  He unlatched my bra and pulled it away from my body, eyes on me the whole time. And then he undid the button of my jeans before nudging me back on the bed. When I lay down, he peeled them off me, taking my panties with them so I was completely exposed before him. But this time, unlike downstairs on the couch, I felt at peace. I didn’t know why, but I trusted Joseph. He had fought against himself because of this, because of wanting to be with me. So knowing that he was here now, fully ready to do this, was exciting. Special. Joseph wasn’t the kind of man to do something without reason and without knowing exactly what kind of commitment he was getting himself into.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his breath touching my ear as he began kissing my cheek. He trailed those kisses down my neck and to my shoulder, across my collarbone, and to my breast. It was such a sweet and simple gesture, but also highly erotic. Everything he did made me this close to coming, and I clenched my hands on the comforter of the bed to hold on for as long as possible.