Lost: The Complete Series

by Lila Kane

  “Touch me,” I whispered on a sigh.

  Joseph complied, cupping my breasts in his hands. And while he kneaded the left one, his mouth found the nipple on the right. It was already in a taut peak, hard from wanting him. He teased his tongue over the nipple and then swirled around the base before using his teeth to nip it. It shot a bolt of lightning straight to my pussy. My back arched, and I gasped. “Yes.”

  My legs spread automatically, wanting to feel the pressure of his body against me, pressing my thighs apart. I grew wetter, leaking onto the bed when his cock brushed my slit.

  My breath came in sharp pants and my heart raced against my chest. There was a huge battle inside of me. Wanting more at the same time I wanted this to go on forever and ever.

  Joseph ran his hand down my waist, over my hip, and then he cupped me. His finger slid along my slit and he groaned, meeting my eyes. “You’re so wet.”

  I spread my legs even further. “I need you inside of me. Right now.”

  He gripped his cock and aimed it at my entrance, sliding it along my opening and then swirling it against my clit. I gasped and almost came. My sex was swollen, throbbing and dripping for him, waiting for him. I could barely hold on. But then he entered me inch by inch until I was completely full of him. I could feel him pulsing inside of me, moving until he was fully sheathed by my pussy. The look on his face was pure ecstasy, as though he’d never felt anything this good entire life. And neither had I.

  He gripped my hips, holding me still so he could rock inside of me, hips swiveling to hit all the right spots. I closed my eyes and let myself feel, giving myself over to the sensation.

  “I want you to come with me,” he said, voice strained. “Come for me and come with me. I need this.” I opened my eyes, and they locked on his. Yes. I wanted the same thing. The next step of our connection.

  Joseph began to move faster, pumping his hips against mine in a steady rhythm. I moved with him, rocking my hips as well so we joined together as deep and as close as possible. The pressure was already building inside of me, but then he reached out and rubbed his thumb against my clit and the need to come was instantaneous. I gasped. “Oh, God. I’m so close.”

  Joseph took this as his cue to thrust harder. Faster. He speared me over and over again, continuing to rub his thumb in circles over my clit. I was so lost in sensation, I could hardly hold still. My body writhed against the mattress, and just before I came, I locked eyes with him and saw that he was at the same place I was. I shattered in front of him, my body going to pieces, shaking, trembling, setting on fire. And he did the same. His arms clenched around me, locking me against his chest as he poured into me. He pulsed inside of me as he emptied everything he had, and my body trembled against his, my heart racing, losing control as we rode that wave together. A breath and a sigh later, the world started to quiet around us. Joseph’s mouth found mine and whispered against it. He held me in a kiss for one long moment before his body relaxed as he rolled over to lay at my side.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “That’s how you’re supposed to spend a rainy afternoon,” I told him, turning my face to press a kiss to his cheek.

  He looked over at me with a smile. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. Better because you’re the one I’m here with.”

  I shifted to look at him. I set a hand on his chest. “You’re still here.”

  He covered my hand with his. “I’m not leaving.”

  I swallowed and nodded, relieved. I guess there had been a part of me that still worried he might have changed his mind.

  Joseph reached out. “Come here,” he said.

  I scooted closer and rested my head against his chest. He put his arm around me, holding me tight against him. His heartbeat was still elevated, and I listened to it for a moment before he spoke again.

  “I told you, I made a mistake. In fact…”

  “What?” I asked, glancing up and seeing the hesitation on his face.

  “I made a lot of mistakes.”

  I ran my hand on his chest, and then up to his jaw. “Is this a good time for the truth?”

  He sighed, but said, “It’s probably as good a time as any.”

  I waited, keeping my head pillowed on his chest.

  “These feelings for you aren’t new,” he said. “Back in college, I swear the first time I saw you, I was shocked speechless. You were beautiful. Young, but beautiful. And full of life. So different from me and my family—where I came from.”

  “Really? You’ve felt this way since all the way back in college? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  His lips moved in the trace of a smile. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “You were my brother’s friend. And older than me.” And I could probably think of a dozen more reasons. It felt…almost forbidden.

  “Same here. You were Tom’s sister. And younger. And…it seemed wrong. Even if I wanted it. Then time passed, and you grew up, but it was easier to keep my distance because I never saw you. I told myself I could forget about you, and it was easier because we didn’t travel in the same circles. We didn’t have the same life.” His voice grew hard. “But when Tom called and told me that bastard put his hands on you, I knew I had to do something. I told myself I could handle being around you. After all, you’re still Tom’s sister. And when Tom said it was even better for you to stay here, not only to get a break from Don, but to get a break from everyone—men, especially—I made a vow to myself. I told myself this was just business. I was helping a friend, and that was it.

  “But the moment I saw you, it all came back.” He ran his hand down my hair, then lazily over my arm. “That’s why I was so upset.”

  “Understatement,” I murmured.

  He chuckled softly, but his voice grew serious again. “I was pissed off, but it was more with myself. I made a mistake thinking I could handle myself around you, and I couldn’t. I hate making mistakes.”

  “What other mistakes did you make?”

  He cleared his throat. “That night on the couch. I…lost control. I was about to have sex with you and then I realized what I was doing. That you were Tom’s sister. That he’d probably kill me if he found out what I was doing.”

  “He wouldn’t kill you.”

  “Should we test that theory?”

  I shifted to sit up, levering myself over the top of him. “We’re going to have to, aren’t we? Or are you telling me we should keep this from Tom?” When he didn’t respond, I deflated. “Oh. I see.”

  “What? Allison—”

  He grabbed my waist before I could get off the bed. He pressed me down against the mattress, pinning my wrists with his hands.

  “Joseph,” I said, warning in my voice. I didn’t think he was going to hurt me—at least not physically.

  “Tell me what that was all about. You just had a…revelation. And it hurt you.”

  I swallowed, my eyes dropping from his face. “If you’re expecting us to keep this from Tom, that can only mean one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You know.”

  He frowned. “No, I don’t, so you’d better tell me. You’re not going anywhere until you open up. If you expect me to be honest, I expect the same from you.”

  “You don’t want this to go any further,” I whispered. “If you’re not planning on telling Tom, that means you don’t think you need to because this isn’t going to happen. Us.”

  “Are you serious?” When I didn’t say anything, Joseph’s voice turned sharp. “Look at me.”

  I looked up and met his eyes. “What?”

  “I want this. Us. I told you that.”

  “No, you told me you wanted me. And now you’ve had me—”

  “Are you fucking serious? First you think I’m some kind of monster, and now you’re accusing me of using you. Fuck that.”

  I opened my mouth to apologize, but he shook his head. His hands flexed on my wrists.

  “Fine. I get that I might deserve your distr
ust. But only once.” His hands loosened. “I’m going to tell you this, only once, and you’d better believe me. I want to be with you. I want there to be an us, and I’ve wanted it for a long time. I just have to figure out what to do about Tom and grabbing the phone to call him right now doesn’t seem like the best option. I want to talk to him face-to-face and get him to understand. This isn’t just a one-time thing. That’s not how I work.”

  “That’s not how I work either,” I murmured. “I’m sorry.”

  His eyes softened. “I forgive you.” He leaned down to kiss me, and then released my wrists.

  I sat up immediately and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “I want this—us—too. So I’ll do whatever I can to make it work.”

  “You have to stay here.”

  I blinked, then eased back to see his face.

  He nodded. “Stay here. Not just because I want you here, close to me, but I want you safe. I’m the best person to do that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “It’s not a question. I’m telling you, you need to stay here. I’m going to try not to step on your toes, but this isn’t a negotiation. Don isn’t a good person. There’s a lot about him you don’t know, and he’s not going to give up on you. He still wants you, and he’s going to do what it takes to get you.”

  My throat dried. “I don’t…what do you mean?”

  “Say it first.” He gripped my chin and held my face in place so I had to look into his eyes. “Say you’ll stay here.”

  A moment of indecision flickered through me, but then I nodded. “I’ll stay here.”

  He blew out a breath of relief. “Good. I can keep you safer if you’re here. Don is…like I said, there’s a lot about him you don’t know.”

  “Then I need to know. All of it. And what I’m supposed to do.”

  “You let me handle it,” Joseph said fiercely. “That’s what you do. You let me take care of this and keep you safe.”

  “No.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I let Don boss me around for a long time. That’s not who I am anymore. I help take care of my problems.”

  “This isn’t your problem.”

  I gritted my teeth. “It is. I made choices and now I have to deal with them, and if you can’t be open with me, I can’t stay here.”

  “You already said you would.”

  “That was conditional.”

  He narrowed his eyes on mine. I wasn’t sure whether to expect a blow-up or not. But instead, Joseph nodded slowly. “Okay, but once I start to tell you these things, we’re in this together. You listen to me, because listening to me is going to help keep you safe. Can you do that?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Are you sure?”

  I nodded, touching his cheek. I made the decision and vowed to stick with it. I had to let Joseph in. “I’ll listen to you. I trust you.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Don was a sick motherfucker. That was the gist of it. He’d had a violent past and lied to me about where he came from. Despite that, Tom still wanted me to get the restraining order so I’d have even more documentation that I wanted him to stay the hell away from me.

  Which meant I had to go to the courthouse for the hearing.

  I spent a blissful week at Joseph’s house, pretending I was safe from the world, but on the morning of the hearing my stomach tied itself in knots.

  Taking this step against him meant there was no going back.

  I showered that morning to help release some stress. Closing my eyes, I let the hot water rain down on my head.

  You can do this, you can do this. I kept repeating the mantra to myself over and over again. In two hours, I’d go to the courthouse. In two hours, I’d have to plead my case in front of a judge.

  And then what?

  Don would just leave me alone?

  I frowned. I doubted it. And that was even if a judge saw my side. If they believed that the man I’d thought I was in love with truly did treat me the way I claimed.

  I used to have the bruises to prove it. But since I’d broken up with him, I’d healed. At least on the outside.

  But since I’d been staying with Joseph, I felt like I was starting to heal on the inside as well.

  When I stepped out of the shower, I gasped. Joseph stood at the door to the bathroom, his shoulder propped against it. A small smile curved his lips.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, tightening the towel around myself without even realizing what I was doing. I still didn’t like surprises. “I thought you had work.”

  He kept his distance. But I didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled over my bare shoulders and lower, to where my hand was clutched on the towel to hold it closed.

  “I did. I got a few things done. Delegated.” He smiled again, though it was cautious. “I wanted to be here for you.”

  My eyes automatically filled with tears. Before I could even blink them away, Joseph strode forward. His scent filled the space around me. His confidence soothed me. And his hands, God, I wanted them on me.

  But he still didn’t touch me. Instead, he reached out, fingers stopping inches from my skin “Is this okay?”

  He was giving me space. Asking instead of demanding. Doing all the things I shouldn’t have to give him permission for because I trusted him. I trusted him like I’d never trusted Don.

  But it meant the world to me that Joseph understood this.

  I nodded and stepped into his arms. “You don’t need to ask,” I whispered against his jacket as my cheek touched the material. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

  His arms tightened around me. “Still,” he murmured. “I know today is hard for you. I don’t want you to ever think I’d act like him. I don’t treat women like that, and it makes me sick as fuck that I treated you the way I did.”

  “I understand why you did.”

  “No excuse,” he said, breath touching my ear. “I should have told you upfront why I was keeping my distance.”

  “It’s fine now.” I looked up into his eyes. “Right?”

  He caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Right. I want you. I’m with you.” He smiled again before kissing me softly. “I’m here for you.”

  “Will you come with me today?”

  “That’s why I’m here. I’m not letting you do this alone.”

  “Tom will be there.”

  “Then you’ll have two of us. Though I really wish you’d let my lawyer do this—”

  “It’s fine. I’m in good hands.”

  He nodded, rubbing his hands on my arms before kissing me again. “You are. Now, let’s get this over with so we can forget about the past.”

  I sighed my way through another kiss, his touch and support bolstering my courage more than anything else could have. He was right. This was just another step in letting the past go, and another step in me moving forward and becoming the Allison I used to be.

  Joseph and Tom both came with me to the courthouse and I went into the courtroom with my head held high. I stayed calm and told the judge what Tom had done. I kept my voice steady even when it wanted to wobble. Remember what Tom had done to me, what I had let go on and on even when I should have left, made me cringe inside. And it made me sad. I thought I was stronger than that, but I hadn’t been.

  Now, though. Now I was strong. Now was the time to stand up to Don. So I did.

  When I left the courtroom, I sagged against the wall and blew out a breath. My lawyer looked concerned, but before he could say a word, Joseph was there.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, cupping one hand under my elbow.

  Tom stepped up as well. “Allie?”

  All I wanted was to throw myself into Joseph’s arm. To let him comfort me and then take ma way. But Tom didn’t know about us yet. And, surprisingly, that bothered me more than what I’d just gone through.

  Which was a good sign. It meant I was already moving on.

  “I need a minut
e,” I said, lifting my chin.

  Joseph’s eyes clouded with doubt—and something else. Worry?

  I needed to talk to him. I’d already taken the first step in moving on by leaving Don. This was another step.

  And, I realized, I wanted one more step. To make it clear I wanted to be with Joseph. Which meant we needed to tell Tom.

  I nodded my reassurance to Joseph when he looked like he wanted to walk straight into the women’s bathroom with me. Then I stepped away and went to the ladies room.

  Inside, it was blissfully quiet. I splashed water on my face and stared at myself in the mirror. I was pale. But I was strong.

  This was the new Allison.

  And then the door opened behind me. My breath caught in my throat.

  Don gave one of his rare and calculating smiles. “I thought I might find you here.”

  “You can’t—you can’t be here.”

  “I can go wherever I want.”

  I pressed myself against the counter, praying for someone else to walk through the door.

  “This restraining order means nothing,” Don said. “We’re supposed to be together.”

  I swallowed hard and shook my head. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. Please, just leave me alone.”

  He glanced to the door when we heard footsteps. “That isn’t ever going to happen. We will be together. And in the meantime, you’d better keep your mouth shut. If you tell anyone, someone is going to get hurt. Your new friend,” he said with a sneer, “better watch his back.”

  My lips trembled. Don pressed a finger to my lips to make his point. Then he spun to the door and walked through just as another woman came in.

  She saw me pressed against the counter, cheeks pale and lips trembling.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, eyes wide.

  I forced myself to nod. “He just scared me. That’s all. Had the wrong bathroom.”

  “Oh.” The woman smiled. “It happens.”

  She vanished inside the stall and I splashed more water on my face to make the redness in my eyes a little less obvious. I would not cry. Not now.

  But I did have to keep Tom and Joseph safe.