A Hole in My Heart

by E. L. Todd

  “That can change,” he said. “Give it time.”

  “You know, I always thought I was the monster. But it’s you.” I kept my arms by my sides even though I wanted to ball my hands into fists.

  “Excuse me?” He sat up straighter, clearly provoked like a snake.

  “You know damn well that Trinity loves me, that she only wants me, but you’re forcing Reid on her like we’re in the middle ages and she needs to be married off to the wealthiest duke. I may not be as good as Reid, but I’m the man she wants. Instead of being a jackass, you should just give me your permission and let your daughter be happy.” I knew that wasn’t a smart thing to say but Mike was being unfair.

  “Let my daughter be happy?” he asked incredulously. “Last time I checked, she was miserable. Last time I checked, she told me you were the biggest mistake of her life. Last time I checked, she said she wished she’d picked Reid to begin with.”

  Pain like no other washed over me. It burned my skin like acid. My breathing increased even though I wished it hadn’t.

  Mike smirked in triumph.

  I wanted to lash out but I forced myself to be logical. “If she said that, it was only because she was insanely depressed over me. She didn’t mean it. I know she didn’t.”

  “Then why is she spending almost every day with Reid?” he asked. “I can’t force her to hang out with him. She’s doing that all on her own. I’m entitled to make him feel welcomed in our family if I wish.”

  “She spends time with him because he doesn’t remind her of me. That’s it.”

  He shook his head slightly. “You’re in denial.”

  “No, I’m not. If I proposed to her today, she would say yes. You’re purposely not giving me your blessing so you can buy Reid more time. And that’s just despicable.”

  His eyes darkened in offense. “I’m protecting my daughter from a piece of shit. That’s what I’m doing.”

  “You think I’m just going to go away?” I asked. “I’m not. You are going to accept this and you are going to give her to me.”

  “Do your worst, Slade. I’ll never change my mind. You had Trinity to begin with. I told you this would happen, that you would leave. I was completely right. And I know what would happen if you did marry her. My daughter will not have that fate.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’ll be married for a year, maybe more. Then you’ll leave her and find someone else. You’ll hurt her because you can’t give her everything she wants. You’ll be a mistake that she can’t take back.”

  “I would never leave her.”

  “Well, you already did once.”

  “She left me,” I snapped. “I never wanted our relationship to end.”

  “But you refused to marry her. So, what’s different?” he asked. “Just because a successful and respected man wants her. This is just jealousy on your part. You don’t want to marry her at all. You just don’t want her to be with anyone else.”

  “I don’t want her to be with anyone else,” I admitted. “But I also want to be with her for the rest of my life, married or not married. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know we’re meant to be together. I will not give up until you give her to me.”

  “Meant to be together?” he asked incredulously. “She may be the best thing that ever happened to you, but you’re the worst thing that ever happened to her. I’m sick of this conversation so get out of my office.”

  I stayed rooted to the spot. “Give me your permission.”

  “You don’t respect me anyway so why do you care?”

  “I care because Trinity loves you. She wants her father to give her away. She wants your approval. I would never propose to her without it because I love her. I want her to be happy. If I were the selfish man you pinned me for, I wouldn’t suffer this agony just to make her happy. So, you misjudged me, Mike.”

  “No, I know I didn’t,” he said darkly.

  “Give me your permission,” I demanded. “I will hunt you down and follow you everywhere until you give it to me. I did it once, I’ll do it again.”

  “But this time you won’t succeed,” he said. “Now get out.”

  I stared him down, my feet glued to the floor.

  He stared back, not giving in.

  The door behind me opened. “Dad, ready for lunch?”

  I turned to see Conrad.

  Conrad looked at me then at his father. He seemed to realize something was off. “Am I interrupting something?”

  “No, son.” Mike stood up and came around the desk. “I was just taking out the trash. Let’s go.”

  Conrad gave me a sympathetic look. “You okay, man?”

  “Conrad, let’s go,” Mike ordered.

  I pulled out the box and showed it to him. “I’m going to propose to your sister.”

  His eyes lit up in surprise. “Alright! Way to go, man.” He gripped my shoulder.

  I returned it to my pocket. “But your dad won’t give me his permission.” I pleaded with him with my eyes. “Please help me.”

  Conrad eyed his dad by the door. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  Mike watched us, clearly irritated. “Conrad, now.”

  Conrad walked with him and they left for the elevator.

  I stood there, unsure what to do now.

  ***

  “I can’t say I’m surprised,” Skye said. “My dad is the nicest guy in the world but if someone crossed me…he’s a completely different person. He’s cold and unforgiving. When Zack tricked me, Dad was going to sabotage his entire life and make it as insufferable as possible. Mike is the same way.”

  “Yeah, I got that impression,” I said sarcastically. My empty tray sat in front of me, and my milkshake was depleted.

  “Don’t give up,” Cayson said. “If you keep pestering him, he’ll eventually give in.”

  “No, he won’t,” I argued. “Not when it comes to Trinity. He made it pretty clear he wants her to be with Reid. The longer he turns me down, the more time Reid has to make her fall in love with him.”

  “Fucking dick,” Skye hissed.

  We both eyed her in surprise, shocked that she said that about her uncle.

  “I understand Mike is protective of her, but that’s just ridiculous. Would he really do that?” Skye asked. “Purposely sabotage your proposal so Reid could get her?”

  “That’s what he said,” I said simply.

  “I’ll give him a piece of my mind…” She bunched up her napkin and threw it on the tray.

  “Baby, this is between Slade and Mike. Don’t interfere,” Cayson said.

  “No, do interfere,” I said. “Please. I asked Conrad to help me too.”

  “You need to do this on your own,” Cayson argued.

  “No,” I said. “I really don’t think Mike will ever give me his blessing. He seriously hates me.”

  “I wouldn’t say that…” Cayson shook his head slightly.

  “Oh, he does.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. I looked at Skye. “I need your help.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “You need to keep Trinity away from Reid,” I said.

  “But they’re just friends,” she said.

  “I don’t give a damn,” I snapped. “Just hang out with her and keep her from him. Please. I would do it but it wouldn’t help. She would just kick me in the balls and run away from me. Please, Skye.”

  “Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll do it.”

  “I can’t risk having her fall for him,” I said. “I can’t.”

  “She won’t,” Skye said firmly. “She’s really upset with you but she still feels the exact same way as before.”

  That gave me some comfort. “Mike told me Trinity said she wished she’d picked Reid…”

  “She said the same thing to me,” Skye said.

  Cayson looked at her like she was mad. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because she didn’t mean it,
” Skye said. “I know she didn’t. You really hurt her, Slade. She’s just lashing out, trying to get rid of the pain.”

  “You really think that?” I asked hopefully.

  “I know,” she said firmly. “We’re going to get through this, and Mike will give you his permission. Don’t lose hope. You’ve got all of us to help you. If you can’t soften Mike up, then the rest of us can. And you’re forgetting who my mother is. She can get him to do anything.”

  I nodded. “You’re right. We got lots of options.”

  “It’ll happen,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean you can give up on your end.”

  I sighed in irritation. “Great…”

  ***

  I rang the doorbell with an arrangement of flowers in my hand. My heart was beating fast and my palms were sweaty.

  Cassandra opened the door, wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt. She looked like she just returned from a run. “Slade? What are you doing here?” She didn’t say it in an irritated way.

  I handed the flowers to her. “These are for you.”

  “Oh.” She held them to her nose and smelled them. “They’re beautiful.”

  “I’m glad you like them.”

  “So, why are you trying to butter me up?” she asked with a smile.

  “I was hoping I could have a minute of your time.” Mike was still at work, and I hoped I could come and go without running into him.

  “Sure.” Cassandra allowed me to walk inside. She put the flowers in a vase and added water. “What’s on your mind?”

  “A few days ago, I asked for Mike’s permission to marry Trinity. He didn’t give it to me.”

  She almost dropped the vase. “What?”

  “I’m guessing he didn’t tell you.”

  “No.” She faced me, her eyes wide.

  I held out the ring to her.

  She gasped when she looked at it. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful. I see her face when I look at it.”

  “I know she’ll love it.”

  She stared at it for a long time before she handed it back to me.

  “But I can’t ask her unless Mike gives me his blessing. I know it’s important to Trinity. Please help me, Cassandra.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “My husband is very…”

  “Psychotic? Insane?”

  “Protective when it comes to me and the kids.”

  “You don’t say…”

  She smiled slightly. “He’ll come around, Slade.”

  “I really don’t think he will. And I want to ask her as soon as possible before Reid wins her over.”

  She nodded. “I understand.”

  Cassandra had always approved of me and made me feel welcome. She was my biggest hope. Since she was married to Mike, she knew how to manipulate him. “Can you talk to him? Please?”

  “I will,” she said. “But I doubt anything I say will make a difference.”

  “He’s purposely sabotaging me so Reid will have more time.”

  She sighed in irritation. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  “So, you’ll help me?”’

  “I’ll do everything I can.”

  The garage door opened and Mike walked inside. Wearing running shorts and a t-shirt, he looked like he just finished his boxing regime. He dropped his bag on the ground and immediately glared at me like I was the biggest nuisance in the world.

  He marched to me with anger in his eyes. Then he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the cabinets. “Do not harass my wife.” He squeezed my windpipe so hard I couldn’t breathe.

  “MIKE!” She hit him hard in the back then shoved him. “Knock it off!”

  He released my neck but still looked like a vicious bear. “Get. Out.”

  I stumbled back and coughed as I gasped for air.

  “Now.” He grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me toward the door.

  I wanted to hit him back but I couldn’t. Since he was Trinity’s dad, I didn’t dare do something I couldn’t take back.

  “Mike, you’re being ridiculous,” Cassandra said.

  He shoved me against the front door. “You can bother me all you want. I really don’t give a damn. But don’t you dare bother my wife. Don’t you dare harass her. This is between you and me.” He backed away, still looking like he might kill me.

  “Last time I checked, Cassandra was Trinity’s mother. She deserves to know what’s going on.”

  “I’m Trinity’s father and I decide who gets to spend their life with her. It’s not you!”

  “I’m not going to give up!” I yelled. “You may as well just give her to me.”

  “No!” His eyes were wide.

  I opened the door then stormed out.

  Their voices could be heard from this distance.

  “Mike, don’t you ever grab him like that!” Cassandra screamed at Mike.

  “Next time, I’ll break his neck.”

  I got into my truck and slammed the door. Anger pounded through me and I wanted to punch something—particularly Mike. If I didn’t love Trinity so fucking much, I would just propose and make her mine. I would turn her against Mike and teach him a lesson. But I knew Trinity didn’t want that. I would keep trying.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Skye

  “Mom, I need your help.” I stood in the kitchen while she took the lasagna out of the oven and placed it on the stove.

  “Anything, honey. How can I help?”

  Dad was upstairs taking a shower so I had a moment of privacy with her. “Mike is being a jerk.”

  “A jerk?” she asked with a laugh. “Mike is one of the sweetest men I know. I can’t imagine him being a jerk in any way. Well, unless the person deserves it.”

  I guess Slade did deserve it…a little bit. “Slade is going to propose to Trinity.”

  Her oven mitts fell to the floor. “He is?”

  “Yeah, he has the ring and everything.”

  She sighed with a smile on her face. “I knew Slade would change his mind. It’s obvious how much he loves her. Slade has a reputation for being a punk, but he’s so much more than that. I noticed it even when he was a young boy. One Christmas when they were five, he and Silke were opening presents and Silke got a snow globe. But she dropped it and it shattered everywhere. When she started crying, Slade gave her his.”

  I never knew that. “That was sweet.”

  “Slade is complicated, but that’s not a bad thing. I think it makes him even sweeter.”

  I’d known Slade my whole life, but I’d never given much thought to his inner thoughts or emotions. “Anyway, he asked Mike for permission.”

  Mom sighed. “That didn’t go well, I take it?”

  “No. Mike said he’d never give it to him. This is a problem because Trinity has been spending time with Reid, and Slade fears she’ll get with him if he doesn’t ask soon. Of course, Mike wants that to happen. He’s pretty much stalling.”

  Mom stared at the stove for a long time. “I see…”

  “Mom, can you talk to him?”

  “I really don’t want to interfere.”

  “Please,” I pressed.

  She thought for a moment. “I’ve known Mike for a long time. He’s one of the best men I know. He’s loyal, and he’s very brave. He’s forgiving to those who don’t deserve it, and he has such a playful attitude and zest for life. However, like your father, he gets a little crazy when it comes to his family, particularly Trinity.”

  “I understand that. I’ve had to deal with Dad my whole life.”

  “Just remember his behavior stems from a good place. He just loves his daughter and wants to protect her. You can’t blame him for that.”

  “But he’s over the top right now.”

  “I admit he is. I’ll try talking to him.”

  “Thank you,” I said appreciatively.

  “Don’t thank me. I want Slade and Trinity to be together. They bring out the best in each other.”

  “They do.”

&nbs
p; Mom returned the mitts to her hand then put the lasagna on the table. “Are you staying for dinner?”

  “No. I really need to get going.” I had to act as a cock block to Reid.

  “Okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll tell your father you said bye.”

  “Thanks.”

  She hugged me. “Love you, honey.”

  “Love you too, Mom.” I returned her embrace then left.

  ***

  Cayson and I reached Trinity’s apartment.

  “How are we going to do this?” he asked.

  “Let’s invite her to the movies or something.”

  “And if she has plans with Reid?” he asked.

  “We’ll stall until he gets here then we’ll tag along.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I have a feeling this is going to be more difficult than it sounds.”

  “We have to keep them apart,” I said. “It’s important to Slade. With the way Mike is acting, it might be forever until he finally gives Slade permission.”

  “But Trinity is going to catch on to what we’re doing.”

  “Oh well. That doesn’t mean we’ll stop.” I knocked on the door.

  Trinity answered it wearing a purple dress. “Hey,” she said in surprise. “What brings you two here?”

  Judging by her attire, she and Reid were going out to dinner. “We just wanted to stop by.”

  “Oh,” she said. “That’s nice of you. I’m actually going out to dinner…” She eyed Cayson then turned back to me.

  I never told Cayson she was spending time with Reid. Slade told him, so I didn’t break my promise. But Trinity clearly thought Cayson didn’t know anything.

  “Can we join you?” I pressed.

  “Uh…” Trinity shifted her weight. “It’s kinda personal.”

  “But we haven’t seen you in forever.” Cayson didn’t sound like himself at all. “We should hang out.”

  “How about tomorrow?” Trinity asked.

  Reid came down the hallway wearing slacks and a vest. “We got a party over here?” He smirked at Cayson and I.

  Trinity looked uncomfortable, probably because Cayson was Slade’s best friend.

  “Hey, Reid.” I hugged him then pulled away. “How are you?” Just because he was a possible threat to Trinity and Slade didn’t mean I had to be rude to him. He was a really nice guy.

  “Good. How about you?” he asked.