Unequal

by B. E. Sanderson

  Rue shivered. After spending so many years trying not to get caught, she couldn’t conceive of any other way to live. But this man’s appearance in her hiding spot told her she was closer to being disappeared than she’d ever been. One duty nurse who might’ve recognized her for what she was and another who could’ve seen through her disguise. Either one could have given her name to the DOE. Either one of them still could.

  “I’ll leave you to get your brief nap,” the man continued. “Wouldn’t want you falling asleep on the job.”

  Shaking herself, she considered the implications of this man’s words. And she was frightened to the core. “What happens until you find a way to save me?”

  “You keep doing what you’ve been doing. But be more careful from here on out.” He pulled the collar of his overcoat tighter around his throat. “And for godsakes, steal a space heater. At this rate, a chill will kill you before the DOE gets a chance.”

  “But how do I contact you?”

  “You don’t.” He began to move toward the stairwell. Rue was almost afraid he’d leave without another word and she’d be left alone, wondering if this really had been a hallucination. Then he stopped. He kept his back to her as he continued speaking. “Someone will be in touch with you. Don’t talk to anyone, whether if you think they’re one of us or not. You never can tell who to trust.”

  With his cryptic statement, he disappeared up the stairs. Suddenly, her dimly lit room took on a sinister air. If some stranger could find her home, even someone as Unequal as he was, she needed to find a better hole to escape to. The problem was she had no other place to hide. She’d scoured the hospital for weeks to find this unused corner of the basement. Even if she could find another hiding spot, she couldn’t afford to let her work slip in either job. She’d just have to stay put and hope for the best.

  For the first time in a long time, Rue let herself hope.

  All chance of sleep was lost after the strange, dark man left. She lay down anyway, simply to rest her eyes, but his scent on her pillow was more than she could take. In trying to help her, he’d invaded the one place she could call her own.

  As she changed into her scrubs, she made a mental note to steal a new set of bedding as soon as possible. She’d be lucky if the mental note was ever found again amidst the clutter in her brain. A dozen or so new cases from the transport wreck needed to be checked on. She needed to look in on her current patients and if they were well enough, sign their release forms. In short, she had to make certain everything was taken care of before she left the hospital.

  Her blood raced at the idea. Outside this place, outside the life she’d cobbled together out of spare parts, a world existed where her accomplishments might be valued. Someone wanted her for what she really was—not for the janitor they thought she should be. And maybe, with the help of this mysterious group, she could let go of the fear someone would discover how Unequal she really was.

  A small smile teased the corners of her mouth as she bypassed the elevator and climbed the stairs to the first floor. For once in her life, she felt accepted. She always hoped this day would come. She never dreamed she’d live long enough to see it.

  “Citizen Doctor Mason?” asked someone as Rue stepped out of the stairwell. “Forgoing the elevators today?”

  Rue turned and almost bumped against the same nurse from the previous evening. It was as if the woman was stalking her. Stalking… Her heart thudded against her ribcage. The woman had to be working for the DOE.

  “Yes.” Rue drew the word out to buy herself a few valuable seconds. “I was… That is, it’s… I… I need coffee. The elevator was running slow and…” She looked down her nose at the stick-thin woman. “I don’t see why I have to explain myself to a Citizen Nurse.”

  “You don’t. Curious how you felt the need.” The woman’s face hardened into an impenetrable mask. “Don’t you agree, Citizen Doctor?”

  Drawing upon the acting skills she’d honed over so many years of playing her role as doctor, Rue gave the nurse a glare laced with disgust and superiority. “I do not agree. Now, if you don’t mind, you’re keeping me from the beverage I require to maintain my alertness. Or would you prefer to be held responsible if I fall asleep in the middle of examining a patient?”

  Pasting on the most superior demeanor she could muster, Rue brushed past the nurse. “When in doubt, perform your part to the best of your ability,” Uncle Howard had told her.

  As she walked away, she heard the woman snort and feared she hadn’t pulled the act off. All she could do was hope the woman wouldn’t add all the sums and arrive at the correct answer. If the nurse reported her as Unequal, there was nothing she could do but run. If she was forced to run, she couldn’t leave her patients hanging. The only thing she could do was work and let what would happen, happen.

  By the time Rue was twenty minutes into her shift, the episode was all but forgotten.

  “Good evening to you, Citizen Patient,” she said as she stepped into the room belonging to a new case from the transport accident. Rue hadn’t been around to take note of this particular victim. From the looks of it, this poor person had been burned badly in the conflagration.

  “Help me.”

  Rue flinched. The voice belonged to a female, but between the bandages and the burned tissue it was impossible to tell her gender. The rawness of her voice and her difficulty breathing made it apparent to Rue the woman’s throat and lungs were shot. And those were probably not the worst of her problems, all equally mistreated.

  The smell of scorched flesh turning septic made the coffee rise in Rue’s throat. Swallowing hard, she reached for the woman’s one unmarked hand. Despite the nerve endings destroyed by so horrific a burn, the victim flinched at her touch.

  “It’ll be okay.” The lie was a necessary evil. Rue could tell by simple observation the wounds hadn’t been treated properly. As she scanned through the chart, it told her what she couldn’t see—the woman was on too little pain medication and too much liquid. At this rate, she would drown in her own bodily fluids.

  Perhaps if Rue had been on duty the whole time, she could’ve saved the woman. If she had been there, the burns wouldn’t have begun to poison the woman’s already taxed system. All she could do was to make a few new notes in the chart and maybe give the patient a few more comfortable hours.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  Rue didn’t bother to look up. “Reading this woman’s chart.”

  “She’s not your patient. Unless you took it upon yourself to switch from childbirth to burn victims.”

  It took every ounce of will Rue possessed to not jump at the words. One long, slow breath later, she turned toward her accuser. After she saw the pediatric nurse, her too-tense body relaxed. “Oh, it’s you,” she said before she could stop herself.

  “Right. It’s me. And it’s you. Since we’ve settled who we are, you can explain yourself.”

  “I’m pretty sure we already know where this game is going, but why don’t you explain why an infant nurse is wandering around on this floor?”

  “My spouse is on staff here. I came down to see him.” The pudgy woman put her hands on her hips. “Your turn. Or should I call security?”

  Rue allowed herself to smile. The games these people played were genius. “You know why I’m here, and you’ve already called who you needed to call.”

  The nurse’s face scrunched into a perfect mimic of confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “Well, as soon as I finish filling out this order for more drugs, we can go somewhere quiet and discuss it.” Rue continued to write, all the while wanting to whistle a happy tune. She was safe here. It felt awesome. Despite the woman taking her performance a bit far.

  “Stop what you’re doing right this instant.”

  Rue crossed her last tee and as soon as she put the chart back at the foot of the patient’s bed, she leaned toward the nurse. “It’s okay. You can drop the act,” she whispered. “I know who you are.”<
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  The nurse crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I don’t have the faintest idea who you are, and if you don’t leave here this instant, I’m calling—”

  “Who? The DOE?” For the first time, Rue didn’t cringe over those three letters. They couldn’t hurt her anymore. “Your friend told me what you did, and you’re not in any position to report me.”

  Her eyes went wide. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Rue winked as she stepped closer to the nurse. “I’m pretty sure you do, but I understand your need to keep up the pretense. No one wants to be Unequal.” For the first time, she wasn’t afraid of being discovered, even if it was only this one person she didn’t fear. And the feeling was so wonderful, she couldn’t help but laugh.

  Her laughter made the woman gasp, but she didn’t really care. Whatever issues the nurse had, Rue felt free.

  “Do me a favor and get those meds for Citizen Patient Thurman. I want her last hours to be as painless as possible.”

  “Last hours?” the woman stammered. “But how would you…”

  Rue didn’t bother explaining. Whoever the nurse was, she hadn’t spent nearly enough time obtaining the knowledge her profession required. Hard to believe such a person would help the Unequal. Maybe she was Unequal in another way. After all, being Unequal wasn’t judged on mere intelligence. Physical defects. Mental differences. Something seen or unseen. Anything could set a person apart. Or in this case, perhaps someone she loved had been disappeared and she was helping for them.

  Whatever the nurse’s reasoning, Rue was happy someone was willing to help.

  The rest of her shift was spent in an almost-giddy haze. She went from one patient to the next, helping where she could and easing a patient’s pain where she couldn’t. Several of the victims from the wreck had passed away while she was playing janitor, but she couldn’t help everyone. The idea maybe someday she’d be able to help every illness she encountered gave her comfort. With the mysterious man’s help, she could become an actual physician and not merely pretend to be a Citizen Doctor.

  The day couldn’t come soon enough.

  FOUR

  As the weeks passed, the time of Rue’s emancipation seemed farther and farther away until she became half-certain she’d dreamed the visit. After all, she’d been exhausted and heartsick the night he arrived. A hallucination, maybe. Perhaps exhaustion made the scene seem more real than it was. The man hadn’t come back. Of course, she hadn’t seen the pediatric nurse either. Rue couldn’t have dreamed that woman up but in retrospect, she realized the words she’d spoken would’ve frightened anyone half to death. The nurse was probably avoiding her, if she hadn’t left the hospital entirely.

  If their positions were reversed, Rue would’ve avoided her, too. In fact, she’d been doing her damndest to avoid the duty nurse who’d frightened her. The woman never approached again. But Rue sensed her. Always there. Always waiting. Every once in a while, she’d catch the bony face turned her way, the sly smile playing across a set of too-horsey teeth.

  Someone will be in touch with you, the stranger had said. But no one ever came.

  Every time someone walked purposefully toward her, she held her breath, hoping this was the person he’d hinted would come. Every time someone avoided her gaze, she wondered whether they were one of the man’s contacts within the hospital. Surely, the pediatric nurse couldn’t be alone.

  “Citizen Janitor Logan,” a stern voice ground out behind her.

  For a moment, she didn’t respond. What time is it? Who am I supposed to be?

  When she raised her eyes, she was facing one of the administrative staff. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t place him. For all she knew, he was the chief.

  “Yes?” she asked, lowering her eyes once more. Direct eye contact wasn’t something any janitor could hold for long and in this case, Rue wasn’t faking. She’d never seen such cold, dead eyes in a living person before, and they terrified her.

  “Is there some reason you’ve been washing the same spot on the floor for twenty minutes?”

  Her gaze flickered to the tiles. He was right. Her flesh ached to show her embarrassment, but she had a part to play. “Thought it was dirty, sir.”

  “I believe it more probably you decided you could be lazy. For your information, it isn’t only the different people who get branded as Unequal. Sometimes it’s the slothful ones.” He spoke with the experience of someone who’d reported too many people for such an offense.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean nothing. Gathering weeds in my head, I guess. Won’t happen again.”

  He kicked the end of her mop, spraying both their legs with filthy water. “See it doesn’t. And for godsakes, change your bucket water. We’re trying to get rid of dirt, not patients.”

  Rue fought down the laugh threatening to bubble from her lips. If he had any inkling of exactly what kind of slipshod place he was running, he wouldn’t make such an asinine statement. Nonetheless, he was right. The water in her bucket was so filthy, she couldn’t see the bottom.

  Rolling her equipment toward the utility shed, she shook her head at the man who thought he was more than Equal. Maybe he was, but with his attitude, she doubted it. It was more probable he was one of the Citizens for whom the Equalization Laws were created. In a rational world, no such moron would ever hold a leadership position. He’d be the one pushing a mop, and she’d be treating patients, saving lives.

  In a rational world… A harsh laugh burst from her. If such a thing as a rational world existed she hadn’t seen it. And the tales she read were simply that—tales.

  “Can I have a word with you, Citizen Doctor Mason?”

  “Give me a second and I’ll be right with you.” She opened the closet and put her tools away before the implication sank in. With her heart hammering against her ribcage, she slowly closed the door and turned toward the speaker. Her lowered eyes noted several pairs of dark shoes forming a semi-circle around her.

  The blood froze in her veins. Her heart fluttered as though trying to escape her chest. She had as little chance of escape as the organ. No one moved. No one spoke. In the hurried rush of a hospital, all sound had ceased. Rue only heard the thump-thump of her pulse and the rush of breath through her lungs.

  Her mind raced. If they catch you, I can’t help you. Throwing her other name at her while she was in her janitor guise certainly meant they’d caught her.

  As a child, playing in the vacant lot behind her father’s house, she found a black bird hanging upside down in a bush. Its right leg was tangled up in one end of a bright, red piece of string whose other end was looped around a thick branch. The poor thing was alive but exhausted from its struggles. Its one available action, to blink at her with one pleading, yellow eye.

  Rue must’ve stood there for twenty minutes trying to figure out a way to help it. She couldn’t break the string. She would never break the bird’s leg. And the branch was too thick and too healthy to snap. She could either leave the bird to die or end the bird’s misery herself. In the end, she couldn’t do either. She had been as trapped as the bird.

  And she was as trapped as the bird now.

  She raised her eyes toward the men. “Do what you have to do. I’m not afraid…” The brave words jammed in her throat. She’d saved the bird by running home for a small, stupid pair of scissors. No simple tool would save her. Especially since one of her captors—her own personal piece of red string—was the man who had promised to save her.

  “I told you I’d be back when the time came, Citizen Logan. This is the time.” His mouth twisted in a sneer. “I told you not to trust anyone. I guess I should’ve included myself.”

  Rue shivered, remembering the old wives’ tales about someone walking over your grave. With these DOE men standing around her, she wondered if the tale was true after all.

  One of them moved a fraction of a millimeter. It was enough to set her flight defense in motion. She feinted toward him and then bolted straight toward the one w
ho had promised to help her. He was ready for a willing capitulation, not for her to shove him aside. Before his hands could close on her, she was running.

  Her mind whirled with possible exits. As much time as she’d spent roaming the halls of the hospital, she was familiar with every meter of its behemoth structure. The simple move would be to run out the front doors, but they probably had every obvious exit covered. There was more than one way to exit a building, and it wasn’t always through a door. She spared a brief thought for her usual means of ingress and egress but since the liar had discovered her home downstairs, he would probably be aware of her typical exits, too.

  Hard, black shoes clattered the floor behind her. Her heart throbbing and her lungs aching, Rue hated to admit she hadn’t been as prepared as she’d hoped. Exercise had never been high on her list, but with so much of her time occupied, her stamina wasn’t what it should be. The all-out effort of the prey animal she’d become was wearing her down.

  Think quick, act quicker. As the idea passed through her mind, her legs knew what to do before her brain fully engaged.

  In full sight of her pursuers, she ducked into a supply closet. They were mere seconds behind her, but she didn’t dwell on it. Clicking the flimsy lock into place bought her more than enough time. With one fluid motion, she dropped to her knees and then to her belly. A few boxes pushed aside and she scrabbled beneath the lowest shelf.

  The door handle rattled. Shouts echoed through the door and rebounded through the small room. Someone was calling for keys. Someone else was demanding they break the door down. Rue did her best to ignore the shouts and focus on removing those damn screws. The first two fell as smoothly as they had when she’d practiced this escape years ago. After breaking two nails on the third, it dropped to the floor. As she coaxed fourth screw out, the door exploded.

  Her pursuers wouldn’t be able to see her from their vantage point. The smoke they created with their pyrotechnics provided additional cover. Grabbing the edges of the ventilation grate, she lowered it as quietly as she could and slid into the duct. Further inside a junction point would have allowed her to turn and put the grate back in place, but she’d run out of time.