Unequal

by B. E. Sanderson

  Using the tips of her fingers and the steel toes of her boots, Rue slinked along the aluminum. Silently, she thanked her luck she hadn’t gained weight. The duct had been tight enough on her trial run. Any extra pounds she’d put on since would stop her. She imagined hands closing around her ankles, dragging her toward her own disappearance. Instead of imminent capture, though, she seemed to slide through easier than during her practice runs. All the worrying of the past few weeks—all the work of the past few years—had reduced her to a wafer of her former self.

  At least she figured it had, until she reached the first sharp corner. She wriggled against the unforgiving metal. She pushed as hard as she could. Not a centimeter of movement. She was trapped. Stuck in the air ducts or captured if she backed out.

  Her heart beat faster. Her breaths became shallow. The metal walls of the air duct seemed to be tightening around her. Die in the walls or disappear with the DOE.

  Stop it, you silly bitch! You’re too close to give up. Use your head.

  She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly until she was as thin as she could possibly make herself. Leaning partway onto her side, she bent like a pocketknife and worm wiggled until something gave and she was through. In a straight part of the tube once more, Rue almost laughed at her near-stupidity. Sheer meters away from freedom, she’d almost panicked herself into the grave.

  The last few meters seemed longer than the rest but after a minute or two, she was parallel to her goal—the hospital’s laundry facilities. She hoped no one had re-tightened the screws on this grate. It’d been months since she checked, but there was no accounting for people. The way her luck was running, it would be the one time someone else bothered to do their jobs.

  Rue pushed the tips of her fingers against the grate’s sharp metal and heard the stripped screws clatter on the floor. As the last tangible barricade to her escape tipped away, she reached to keep it from clanging against the concrete beneath. Shelving and a few empty boxes hid her, but they also hid the door from her. For a moment, she held her breath and listened. Nothing but the soft swish of the huge washing machines.

  Rue shifted the boxes to one side and slid under the shelf on her stomach. She was nearly free. Wriggle out from under the shelves, replace the boxes, go to the unused space behind the dryers, and wait. Once night fell, she’d be able to slip away from the hospital. Where she would go from there was anyone’s guess, but at least she wouldn’t be in the DOE’s hands.

  Rue’s sigh of relief turned into a stifled scream as a hand clasped tightly around her wrist.

  “Hush.”

  Her mind raced to place the somewhat familiar voice as she tugged against the firm restraint.

  “Hold still.”

  Flat on her belly, Rue couldn’t get enough purchase to fight against her captor. All she could do was squirm as she was dragged from beneath the shelving. Her right boot caught on the lip of the hole, and she pulled with her leg muscles, fighting to escape despite the act being pointless.

  “Damn it, Logan, let go. I’m trying to help you.” And finally, through her fog of fear, the voice became distinctly recognizable. The image of the duty nurse and her sly smile popped into Rue’s head. A new fear blossomed, causing her to struggle harder. She reached with her free hand and attacked with her blunt nails. A pointed yelp came seconds before a stinging slap.

  “Stop your ridiculousness this instant, or I really will leave you for the DOE.”

  Those initials stopped Rue. Her breath came in gasps. Her heart slammed against her ribcage. But she stopped her struggles and allowed the woman to pull her free. If this was a trick, it no longer mattered. Rue didn’t have the strength to fight any more.

  Flipping over onto her back, she looked up into deep-set eyes the color of a storm. “Take me wherever you need to,” Rue said on a gasp of breath. “I give up.”

  The duty nurse reached for a dry rag and patted the red lines on the back of her hand before speaking. “You’re a nasty little cat when you want to be, aren’t you? Scratch the hell out of me and then decide to give up. Why couldn’t you have waved the white flag before you drew blood?”

  The words were gruff, but Rue heard a hint of humor behind them. “Who are you?”

  “For the moment, I’m Citizen Nurse Hubert. And if we get caught, I’ve never seen you before and I came in here for some clean linens.”

  “But you’re helping me? Why would someone who works for them help me?”

  Hubert laughed. “Where’d you get such malarkey?”

  “The man who told me he’d help—”

  “The same man waiting for you today?” She shook her head as she leaned against an industrial washer. “You see how well that worked out, don’t you? Let me guess, he also told you the little puddle of joy on the fifth floor was an ally.”

  Rue nodded, drawing a derisive snort.

  “Certainly explains why she requested a transfer. You talked to her didn’t you?” Another nod preceded another snort. “She was probably the one who reported you as Unequal.”

  “He told me I’d be safe as long as I didn’t talk to anyone.”

  “Probably one of the few true things out of his mouth. Lying’s much easier if you throw a few truths in with it.” Hubert held out a hand and helped Rue to her feet. “But you’re probably pretty familiar with the theory.”

  “I don’t lie.”

  “Really, Citizen Doctor Mason? Or are you really Mason and Logan’s a lie?”

  Sometimes she wondered the same thing but since all her papers read Rue Logan, she couldn’t claim to be anyone else. “No, I’m Rue Logan. But—”

  “But you couldn’t stand by and be a janitor because you had more medical training than the doctors around here. Honey, if you were the first one to believe you were meant for more than the job you were assigned, I wouldn’t be here. Hell, if you were the hundredth one to believe it…” She scratched at one bony hip and pulled a pack of something out of her pocket. Withdrawing a slim white stick, she placed it between her thin lips. “I’d ask you for a light… God, I’d give my left cheek for a real lighter, but they don’t sell them anywhere you could shop.”

  As Rue stared, she flicked a match against the cinder block wall and held the flame to her mysterious stick. “What is that?”

  Hubert put the unlit end to her mouth and drew in a deep breath. As she exhaled, smoke made a slow exit. Rue’s wide eyes followed its progression. “Heaven,” the nurse said after her breath turned clear. “It’s a cigarette. They don’t sell them anywhere you shop either.”

  “What kind of store sells those things?”

  She drew in another deep, smoky breath before stubbing the stick out against the wall. “Time enough to swap shopping tips later. We’ve both worn out our welcomes here. What say we find your cubby hole and grab a few dozen winks until nightfall?”

  FIVE

  Rue’s planned hiding spot was no bigger than a broom closet. By herself, it would’ve been uncomfortable but bearable. Two people was damn near intolerable. But they had little choice. If the DOE found either one of them, they were as good as disappeared.

  They slept standing up. Hubert braced herself on the shelves. Rue leaned as comfortably as she could with her back against the locked door. If anyone opened it before she woke fully, she’d fall flat on her face. It couldn’t be avoided. The nurse had helped her and she had to suck it up.

  Rue was used to sucking things up. Hours of sitting, taped to a chair, in front of the videoset had broken her of complaining while she was young. As she stood in the dark and uncomfortable closet, she silently thanked her father for the training. Without those torturous sessions, she wouldn’t have been able to be so uncomfortable or go so hungry for hours on end. She certainly would’ve never been able to hold her bladder through the remainder of the long day.

  After what felt like forever, the nurse tapped her shoulder. “I think it should be night by now, don’t you?”

  It could’ve been the next
day, or it could’ve been an hour later. She’d lost track of time in the tiny space, alone with her thoughts as Hubert snored softly against the back of her neck. Without bothering to comment, she turned the lock and eased the door open.

  “Looks dark enough. And the machines have stopped,” said Rue. The nurse grunted something. “They only do laundry during day shift.”

  “I figured as much. And if you don’t mind moving, I need to walk. My legs turned into lumps of meat in there.” Hubert shouldered her out of the way and hobbled into the room, shaking her leg with every other step. “First things first,” she said. “We need to steal some food and then we need to get the hell out of here.”

  Rue wanted to tell the woman about her friend in the cafeteria. In all likelihood, Kyle had gone for the day, but he usually left bits and scraps for her nightly visits. If he had, the two of them might be able to eat before they escaped. But then she wondered what might have already happened to Kyle. If the DOE had information about her, they probably were aware of her friend, and assisting the Unequal ended as badly as actually being one. She couldn’t risk putting him in further danger. Food was out.

  Thoughts of Kyle led to her wonder about her patients. So many of them required her constant care. Charts needed to be fudged every night to get them the right medications or to make sure their dressings were changed. Or to be certain they were eating the right foods. Once she left, those people would be at the mercy of a system that no longer provided the care they needed.

  Hubert pushed at her. “I can guess where your mind’s headed. I’ve got patients in this hospital, too. We can’t help them anymore.” She placed her arm around Rue’s shoulders. “We did the best we could here. From here on out, we have to look forward to those we can help elsewhere.”

  “Elsewhere?” She had known the day she’d have to leave would arrive sooner or later, but she never thought beyond it. As far as she was concerned, there was no elsewhere. Logically, other hospitals and other cities existed who might need her skills. But she couldn’t begin to guess how she could work after she was declared Unequal. No one could hire her. If she showed her identification, she’d be arrested immediately. “What am I going to do?” she whispered.

  For a moment, the nurse stared at her as though she’d grown a third arm out of the middle of her head. Finally, she asked, “You really don’t know, do you?”

  “Not a clue.” Rue shook her head. “I never dreamed… Well, maybe dreamed, but never seriously considered what would happen after—”

  “Not what I meant. You really have no idea who I am, do you?”

  Rue stared at her. “You’re the duty nurse.”

  “Not anymore. And not my chosen profession.” The woman gentled her voice. “I was planted here, Logan. One of hundreds, all over the city. I’m not in this hospital by accident. The DOE had nothing to do with my assignment here. In fact, they don’t have much to do with anything we choose to accomplish.”

  “We?” She’d never felt so stupid. Everything the woman said made sense, in that she could understand the words. The meaning of them, though, wasn’t filtering through her confusion.

  “You’re not the first Unequal who ever tried to blend in. What do you imagine happens to all those others?”

  “The DOE disappears them.”

  “No, dear.” Hubert shook her head. “Not all of them at any rate. The ones we can find, we save.” The woman’s laugh reverberated between the machines. “Hell, darling, I was a version of you not too awfully long ago. And the day the DOE came for me, a guy showed up to save me—the way I’m here to save you.”

  She took Rue’s hand. The woman’s skin was leather against Rue’s palm but for some reason, the sensation was comforting. Rough hands meant labor. Most of the Equal weren’t meant for hard work, and their skin was as smooth as a baby’s cheek. Hubert’s hands, more than anything else, proved she was Unequal.

  “I suggest we get out of this place before the DOE decides to search down here.”

  Hubert pulled Rue along like a doll, but she was fine with it. So much of her life had been spent moving under her own power. For once, it felt nice to let someone else lead. The opportunity to not have to focus all her energies on staying safe, on her work, on her patients—

  She stopped full, jerking Hubert back.

  “We can’t leave yet,” Rue said.

  “We can’t leave later. Now come on.”

  “I have something I have to do first.”

  “You can’t help your patients.” Hubert shook her head sadly. “Trust me, they’ll be better off if you aren’t caught with them. And if the DOE talks to any of them, you’ll be surprised how fast they turn you in.”

  Rue held her ground. “Not the one I’m thinking of. He’s too small to tell anyone anything, and he’s too damn small to leave unprotected.”

  Something in Rue’s face must’ve told Hubert there was no point arguing. “Fine, but you do realize he won’t have to talk to turn us in. All he has to do is cry.”

  Stealing two sets of scrubs from the hospital laundry had been the easiest part. With the DOE in the building, Rue couldn’t access her priority identification. She sure as hell couldn’t waltz into the infant ward as Citizen Janitor Logan and walk out with a baby. As lax as the hospital was about a lot of things, they were sure to object to something as big as smuggling out a child. As a duty nurse, Hubert could access any part of the facility without fear. Too bad the woman’s ID would stand out like a beacon after all these hours.

  When Rue expressed her concerns aloud, the nurse grinned. “I can’t believe you’ve been out on your own for so long without getting picked up,” she said. “How the hell did you manage?”

  “Mason was disappeared, and I stole her papers. It wasn’t too hard to transfer my photo and thumbprint to her ID.”

  “So what you’re telling me is you had a lot of luck?” Hubert shrugged. “Let’s hope some of it is with us tonight.” She held up one finger. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  “And if you’re not?”

  “Forget the baby and run. Get the hell away from here.” At first, Rue assumed the nurse was being witty, but one glance at Hubert’s eyes told her it wasn’t a laughing matter. “Once you get away from the hospital, go to the tall, red building off Washington Avenue. On the top floor, there’s an office. It’s set up to be a branch of the DOE’s testing division, but it isn’t. Tell them Hubert sent you. They’ll take care of everything.”

  A lump the size of a walnut grew in Rue’s throat. “What about you?”

  “Forget me, too. By the time anyone arrives to save me, I’ll already be disappeared.” And with those words, the nurse slipped out into the brightly-lit hallway.

  Rue stood staring at the closed door until her unblinking eyes itched and the soles of her feet ached. How long should I wait? How long is too long? As her stomach curdled, she remained as stiff as a statue. The whole scene reminded her of something she read once about the way a deer would react to something called headlights. Terrified to the bone and yet unable to move as a transport barreled into its fragile body.

  About the time she was ready to scream, the door clicked on its hinges. The deer in her leapt behind the nearest washing machine rather than get crushed. Rubber soles squeaked. One step and then another, until whoever had entered was standing in the exact spot Rue had been frozen in for so long.

  “Logan? Where the blasted hell have you gone?” Nothing could’ve sounded better than Hubert’s gritty voice.

  Rue allowed herself to breathe normally again and stepped into the light.

  Hubert jumped. “You scared the shit out of me, kid. What were you doing back there?”

  “You took too long. I was afraid maybe—”

  “It was five minutes.” Hubert shook her head once and sighed heavily.

  Rue felt foolish. Of course the woman hadn’t been gone long, but every second had been an eternity. If she couldn’t handle a few tense minutes, how she would ever be
a real doctor was beyond her.

  “Don’t sweat it. I’m scared shitless myself.”

  Hubert’s words were gruff, but Rue caught a certain kindness behind them. The way she’d always imagined a real nurse would be—firm but gentle. For the first time in years, she relaxed. The older woman wasn’t anything like her own mother, but she exuded something maternal Rue responded to. If only she could see her mother one more time before she disappeared into whatever future awaited her.

  The nurse handed her an ID badge.

  “Citizen Doctor Yang?”

  “It was the best one I could find, so don’t complain. Or would you rather be Citizen Technician Barney Joseph?” A tiny laugh bubbled between Rue’s lips and the older gal smiled. “That’s more like it. Just wait. One day you’ll be laughing all the time.”

  Rue clipped the badge to the breast pocket of her stolen scrubs. “When?”

  “After all of this nonsense is over and done with.” She gripped Rue’s hand tight. “You’re not old enough to remember how the world was before, but once upon a time people could go as far as their wits would take them. Someday, it’ll be the same again. This can’t last forever, child.”

  Her words echoed Rue’s own secret hopes—the ones she lay in bed at night and dreamed about. With the DOE after them both, though, she was pretty sure she wouldn’t live to see the day.

  “Are you ready to go on this fool’s mission?” the nurse said. “Because if we wait too much longer, my wits are going to talk me out of it.”

  Together, they walked from the laundry room, straight to the nearest elevator bank. “In for a penny,” Hubert said. Rue didn’t know what a penny was, but she was in this for whatever it took.

  The hallway was sparsely populated at that time of night. She hadn’t expected to run into many people but with the DOE on her mind, she couldn’t help but feel it was a tad too empty, a little too quiet. She told herself she was being stupid. Hubert seemed unaffected by their surroundings and gave the impression of being nowhere near as nervous as Rue.