Finding You

by Kelly Elliott

  “You wouldn’t,” Noah whispered.

  “I’m going to get a bucket for the next time you puke. Can you behave while I’m gone?”

  Noah rolled his eyes and looked away. “Fuck you.”

  Grayson laughed as he headed to the door. “I love you too, bro. Come on Meg, let’s go find a bucket together.”

  Grayson grabbed Meagan’s hand and pulled her out the door as I watched them disappear.

  Breathing in through my nose, I calmly blew it out as I walked over to Noah’s bed. His body was trembling, so I pulled the covers up and over him. Sitting on the bed, I reached for his hand.

  Noah turned to me as our eyes met. His once beautiful caramel-colored eyes looked dark and empty. His brown hair was a mess from where he had been running his hands through it and pulling on it. “I want to be alone.”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I whispered, “Too bad. I’m not leaving.”

  Trying desperately to find a spark of life in his eyes, I continued to stare into them. “Grace, don’t you get it. I don’t want you here. You need to leave. Now.”

  Slowly shaking my head, I let a single tear fall from my eye. Noah watched as it made its way down my cheek. “I’m not leaving you, Noah. You can say whatever you want, but I’m not leaving.”

  Reaching his hand up, Noah wiped the tear away as our eyes met and something moved across Noah’s face. “Please don’t give up on us.”

  Giving him a weak smile, I said, “Never.”

  “What if you lose me, Grace? What if I can’t come back to you?”

  Leaning down, I kissed Noah gently on the cheek as I moved my lips to his ears. “I’ll find you, Noah. I swear to you. I’ll find you.”

  Noah wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him as he finally let go. Sobs shook his body as he held me like it was the last time he would ever have me in his arms again.

  The cool evening breeze blew through the trees as it gently whipped my hair about. Bringing the coffee cup up to my lips, I took a sip. Closing my eyes, I let the sound of silence penetrate my mind and soul.

  Two weeks had passed since Noah stopped taking Ativan, Valium, and Klonopin. Christmas had come and gone as I spent every moment either with Noah or on this porch. Hearing Grayson drive up, I opened my eyes and watched him pull in to the driveway.

  “Hey,” I said with a whisper. Grayson had decided to stay another few weeks until Noah was feeling back to a hundred percent.

  “Hey back at ya.” Grayson said with a smile. “Where’s Meg?”

  Smiling softly, I said, “Why? Is the sergeant looking for his new soldier?”

  Pushing my shoulder softly, Grayson sat next to me. “Very funny. That girl is hard to read. One minute I think she is into me and the next, she tells me what a whore I am.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. “You are a stripper, Gray. You don’t seriously want a girlfriend, do you?”

  Holding up his hands, Grayson gave me a fake laugh. “Whoa, turn it down, Johnson. No one mentioned the G word. I’m looking for a little P action and that’s it.”

  Lifting my eyebrows, I did the one thing I knew I shouldn’t do. I asked what he meant. “What is P action?”

  “Seriously, Grace? Sometimes I’m so disappointed in you. Pussy action.”

  Rolling my eyes, I let out a disgusted sigh. “Ugh. Men are pigs. No, I take that back. You’re a pig.”

  Standing up, Grayson rubbed his hand on the top of my head before heading into the house and calling over his shoulder, “I may be a pig, but I can dance better than you.”

  “Bullshit!” I shouted. Taking the last drink of my coffee, I stood and looked down the street for Meagan. She’d gone for a run about an hour ago. She had left right after Grayson left. Something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was something different about Meagan this morning.

  “Grace?”

  Spinning around, I smiled when I saw Noah standing there. “Hey there. Did you get some good sleep?”

  Giving me a smile so bright I had to catch my breath, Noah nodded. “Yeah. I did actually.”

  “Good. Are you hungry?” I asked as I walked up to him.

  “Um, not really. But I was wondering if we could take a walk? I wanted to talk to you.”

  A feeling of uneasiness bubbled up as I attempted to smile. “Sure. Right now?”

  “Yeah, if that’s okay?”

  Swallowing hard, I nodded and said, “Let me put this coffee mug in the kitchen.”

  Noah glanced away and stared down the street. “I’ll wait right here.”

  My voice abandoned me as I made my way past him and into the kitchen.

  Setting the mug into the sink, I leaned against the counter and dragged in a few deep breaths.

  Whatever was about to happen, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. The look in Noah’s eyes scared me shitless.

  Noah had grown distant the last two weeks. The better he seemed to get, the more withdrawn he became.

  I was losing him and no matter how hard I tried to fight, I wasn’t winning this battle.

  Noah

  Grace and I walked along the street in silence as I fought for a way to tell her how I was feeling. These last two weeks had opened up my eyes to so many things. I wasn’t the man I wanted to be for Grace. I wanted to be so much more for her. I needed to be the strength . . . not her. If I kept going down this path, Grace wouldn’t be able to follow her dreams.

  Finally breaking the silence, Grace spoke. “How are you feeling today?”

  Nodding my head, I said, “Good. Today I think my mind has been the most clear.”

  “Good,” Grace said just above a whisper.

  “Have you talked to Alex about the nursery? How are things moving along?”

  Grace worried on her bottom lip. “Um, we’ve hit a couple of snags, but I don’t think it’s going to be anything that puts us too far behind. I told Alex I’d be there this weekend. I was hoping you and I could go stay a couple days at my parents’ house.”

  The dull ache in my chest grew stronger; I knew I was the cause of the snags. “Grace, maybe you should head to Mason. I’ve kept you away for so long and it has to be stressful for Alex to tend to this all herself.”

  Grace stopped walking and took my hand. “A few weeks ago you told me to get the fuck out of your house. Do you remember that?”

  Making a grimace, I shook my head. “No. I don’t remember that and you have to know I didn’t mean it.”

  Smiling a smile so brilliant, I quickly found myself smiling back. “I knew then you didn’t mean it, just like I know now you don’t mean what you’re saying.”

  It felt as if the entire world was resting on my shoulders and I wasn’t sure how to push it off. “Grace, maybe I should take some time and go travel, or visit Em. Your parents probably want their daughter back and I don’t feel like I’m . . . like I’m–”

  Placing her fingers up to my lips, Grace’s eyes burned with a fire I was used to seeing. Some days it burned brighter than other days. “Stop talking, Noah. You are my everything. It’s you and me. Remember?”

  “Grace,” I whispered as I took her hand and kissed her wrist. “I feel like I’ve failed you and your family. I’m not the man I want to be for you.”

  Walking closer to me, Grace placed both hands on my chest and looked deep into my eyes. There were so many moments I’d found myself lost in those emerald eyes. “You are the man I want you to be. Flaws and all. You can’t be who you think I want you to be if you’re not with me, Noah. I won’t . . . no . . . I can’t lose you again.”

  My knees felt weak as my eyes searched Grace’s face. “How did I get so lucky with you?”

  Giving me a sexy smile and a wink, Grace replied, “I could say the same thing. There is something though that we do need to talk about, now that you are feeling better.”

  Pulling her closer to me, I kissed the tip of her nose. “What’s that?”

  “Sex. If I have to stick my hand into my panties one more ti
me, I’m going to have to start paying myself.”

  My dick instantly came to life. A feeling I had not been feeling since my mother passed away rushed through my body. “I believe I owe you a few Christmas presents as well.”

  Licking her lips, Grace slid her hand down and grabbed my dick as we both let out a moan. “Noah, take me home. I’ve missed you.”

  Grabbing Grace’s hand, I quickly started back toward the house. We had some serious love making to make up for.

  Practically pulling Grace back to the house, I felt a surge of energy I hadn’t felt in weeks.

  Running up the stairs of the front porch, I pushed open the front door, grabbed Grace and pinned her against the wall as I attacked her lips. Her hands pushed through my hair as she took a handful and pulled. God I wanted to be buried deep inside of her.

  Pushing my hand up and under her shirt, I pushed her bra out of the way and played with her nipple. Grace moaned into my mouth as she pushed her hips into me.

  “Now, Noah. I need you now.”

  Grace and I quickly made our way up to my room when we heard noises coming from Grayson’s room. Stopping, we both leaned closer to his door.

  That’s when we heard it.

  “Oh God. Harder!”

  Dropping her mouth open, Grace jumped back and hit me on the arm as she pointed to the door and covered her mouth. “Oh my God! He brought a whore home!”

  Shaking my head, I pulled back and stared at her. “What? Why do you assume it’s a whore?”

  Giving me a look like I had just grown to heads, Grace tilted her head and said, “Hello? Stripper?”

  “Stop labeling him, Grace. Besides, he quit his stripper job.”

  Grace was about to say something when everything got quite. The strange female voice grew louder as she moved toward the door. Grace and I pushed each other as we ran down the hall and into my bedroom. Pushing Grace in, we shut the door but not all the way.

  Barely opening the door, Grace and I put our ear to the opening. “Grace and Noah should be getting back any moment.”

  Grace sucked in a breath of air and looked at me with a stunned look on her face. “Holy shit, Gray and Meg?” I asked.

  Grace made a funny face and said, “Well, I wasn’t too far off with my whore comment.”

  Giving her a nudge, I attempted to keep my laughter in. Grace and I used to talk on the phone for hours and I learned a lot about her friends during those conversations. From what I gathered from Grace, Meagan was the more sexual friend in the bunch. But she’d also had a very rough time at college with being bullied.

  “That’s not even funny, Grace.”

  The loud knock on my bedroom door caused both Grace and I to let out a scream. The door pushed open and Grayson came charging in.

  “Shh! What in the hell is wrong with you two?” Grayson said as he looked between us. “Y’all are not supposed to be here. You said you were going for a walk.”

  Grace smiled and said, “I’m kind of feeling a little bad for Meg if you only need that short of a time span to get it on, Gray.”

  Hiding my smile, I looked away as Grayson gave Grace the finger. “Go to hell, Grace.”

  “Hey! That’s my girlfriend, asshole. And we were coming back home to spend some time together.”

  Grayson’s face busted out with a huge smile. “Ah, so I wasn’t the only one hoping to get lucky.”

  Grace pushed Grayson on the chest. “Wait. You and Meg? How long? When did this happen? You better have worn a condom.” Grace’s faces turned white as a ghost. “Oh my God. That’s twice I’ve heard Meg calling out to God while being—”

  “Shut up, Grace. I don’t need to hear about Meg’s past sex life,” Grayson said as he pushed his hand through his hair.

  Grace sucked in a breath and pointed to Grayson. “You like her. Holy hell, you like Meg.”

  Grayson shook his head. “No I don’t. She came on to me, said she wanted to have a good time, so we did. Listen, she doesn’t want you to know we hooked up.”

  “Why?” Grace asked.

  Shrugging his shoulders, Grayson said, “I don’t know. She just said if I told either one of y’all she’d cut my balls off and something about hanging me from a rafter first.”

  Grace giggled and then put her finger up to her mouth. Grayson spun around. “Shit, she’s coming back upstairs. You weren’t here!”

  Grabbing Grayson’s arm, I pulled him to a stop. “But we are on our way back! No more screwing around. I’m never going to be able to erase what I heard. Ever!”

  Rolling his eyes, Grayson pushed my hand away and headed out of my room and into the hall, but not before he slammed the bedroom door shut.

  Grace and I took one look at each other and busted out laughing as quietly as we could.

  “Should we sneak back out and then come back in?” Grace asked.

  Nodding, I said, “Yeah, let’s hurry before she leaves his room again.”

  Tiptoeing back down the hall and to the stairs, Grace and I pretended to walk back into the house. As I shut the front door, Grace started laughing, loudly. Too loudly.

  “Jesus, you were never in the drama club, were you?” I asked as Grace gave me the finger.

  Tilting her head, she playfully ran her hand up and down her body. “If I remember correctly, Mr. Bennet. You were about to take me up to your room.”

  Walking up, I slid my hand behind Grace’s neck as I pulled her lips to mine. Slamming my lips to hers, I slid my tongue in and moaned, as I tasted her.

  “Ugh, do the two of you mind? I mean I’m happy you’ve got your mojo back and all, Noah, but seriously. We all don’t need to hear you moaning.” Meagan said as she walked past us.

  Pulling my lips from Grace’s we both laughed. If Meagan only knew.

  “Take me upstairs, Noah.”

  Reaching down, I lifted Grace and walked up the stairs. “My pleasure, baby.”

  It didn’t take long for either of us to strip out of our clothes. Grace sat on the bed and slid back as I crawled on after her.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I said as I moved my hand up her leg. Slipping my fingers inside her, Grace hissed as she threw her head back against the headboard.

  “Oh God,” she gasped as I worked my fingers in and out of her.

  Kissing the inside of her thigh, I whispered against her soft skin, “I’ve missed you so much, baby.”

  Grace’s hand went to my head as she grabbed and pulled at my hair. Smiling, I knew what she wanted and I was more than willing to give it to her.

  Moving my lips closer to her, I pushed my thumb against her clit as she gasped and began to shake. It wouldn’t take long for her to come.

  Pulling my fingers away, I buried my face between her legs and went to town on her pussy. I loved the way Grace’s body responded to me. From the first touch, I knew we had something amazing together.

  “Fucking hell!” Grace called out as she grabbed a pillow and screamed into it as her orgasm rolled through her body. Her hand pushed my head into her as she grinded her pussy into my face.

  I had to fight like hell not to come. My dick was so hard and my balls pulled up so far I knew the moment I pushed into her I would come harder than I ever have before.

  When her body finally settled down, I got up and pulled her down further on the bed. Before she could even respond, I pushed my dick into her and fucked her. I’d never been this rough with Grace before, but I could tell we both needed this right now. It had been far to long since the last time we made love.

  “Yes!” Grace said as she dug her nails into my ass.

  Pulling out and pushing back into her, I fought to hold off. “You like that baby?” I asked as I moved in and out of her body like I couldn’t get enough of her.

  Closing her eyes, Grace arched her back. “Harder. Noah, give it to me harder!”

  Pulling out, I flipped Grace’s body around as I fucked her from behind. I could go deeper this way and I knew Grace liked it from behind.


  Burying her face into the bed, she called out my name as she squeezed around my dick, pulling out the most intense orgasm I’d ever had. It felt like I was going to come forever.

  Pulling out of her, I collapsed next to her as I dragged in air. “Holy fucking shit.”

  Grace rolled over and placed her chin on my chest as she took in one deep breath after another. “We . . . forgot . . . again,” she said as she lifted her lift eyebrow.

  “Oh fuck. Condom.”

  “Honestly, Noah. I don’t want to use them anymore. It feels too good without them.”

  Looking into her eyes, I ran my finger along her cheek. “Are you sure? It’s just more added protection.”

  Nodding her head, Grace blew me away with her smile as my heart began to beat harder in my chest. Her expression was beaming and there was a glow about her cheeks. One I wanted to see every single day.

  “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life, Noah.”

  Euphoria surrounded both of us in that moment. I walked back into this woman’s life and turned it upside down, yet she stood by me through all it. It was my turn to do something for her.

  It was time to do the one thing I’ve wanted to do since the first time I laid eyes on Grace.

  Now all I needed to do was set the plan in motion.

  Grace

  The last month flew by as Alex and I finished up the details for the grand opening of Wild Flower. As I walked amongst the flowers, herbs, and garden decorations, I wanted to pinch myself. Our dream was about to come true.

  “Is it crazy we’re opening a nursery in the winter?” Alex asked from behind me. Turning around, my eyes landed on her eight-month pregnant belly.

  “When have you ever known us to not do something crazy and out of the normal, Alex? Besides, spring isn’t to far off and everyone is getting their spring gardens ready.”

  Laughing, she rested her hand on her stomach. “Are you nervous?” Alex asked as she bit down on her lower lip and wore a worried expression.

  “Did Jesus walk on water?”

  Alex rolled her eyes as she giggled. “Oh my gosh, Grace. It’s February and the baby will be here next month. Everyone is going to be getting their spring gardens going and I’ll be dealing with a newborn baby. How are you going to do it?”