Finding You

by Kelly Elliott

Meagan lifted her hand and waved it as she said, “You taught me well, Grace!”

  Letting out a chuckle, Grace turned to Grayson. “I’d say someone was sexually frustrated. You should go after her, Gray.”

  Letting out a gruff laugh, Grayson said, “Fuck that. Been there done that. No thanks.” Turning, Grayson followed Meagan.

  “Wow, I’m sensing deep issues between those two,” I said as I picked Grace up and threw her over my shoulder as she screamed out in protest.”

  Meagan turned around and screamed, “If you ruin her hair before pictures, Noah Bennet I’m kicking you in the balls!”

  As we walked back up to join everyone, I took a chance and looked over at Jeff. He was shooting me daggers so I looked away. Matt walked up and handed Grace the painting that was wrapped up. “Assmole Noah had me make you this. It’s his wedding gift to you, Grace. Open it now!”

  The excitement in his voice made me smile as Grace took the painting and sat on a chair. When she opened it, she let out a gasp. It was a portrait of Grace. A beautiful one at that. “Matt, this is beautiful. I’m in the kitchen at home!” Grace turned and looked at me and then back at Matt.

  Nodding his head, Matt said. “You said yes.”

  At first Grace was confused before she looked back at the picture. “Oh my goodness. The day Noah asked me to marry him. Matt, you’re amazing.”

  Matt smiled a smile so big and bright. “You are amazing, Grace.”

  Tears fell from my eyes and Grace’s eyes. “Matt, may I hug you?” Grace asked as Matt nodded his head.

  After a quick hug, Matt looked at me and said, “Come play Frisbee with me, assmole.”

  Yep. This day was beyond perfect.

  Grace

  I hated the month of September. It was hot and today I wasn’t in the mood for hot. October was in one week and I couldn’t wait to do the Halloween display in the front window of Wild Flower.

  “Hey,” Alex said as she walked up with Bayli on her hip.

  Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I stood from where I had been digging in the small garden in the back of the nursery. It was only there for Alex and me to play around in. Something about digging in the dirt calmed me and today, I felt like I needed calming. I smiled when I saw Bayli hold her arms out for me to take her. “Hey, baby girl. Oh, look at my big girl.”

  Bayli gave me a huge grin, and I couldn’t help but feel butterflies in my stomach. I wanted a baby desperately.

  Because of the Fragile X gene being in the family, I had already been tested to see if I was a carrier of the gene and I wasn’t. As soon as I got that result back, I stopped taking my birth control pills. Noah and I decided not to stress about it. We’d let it happen when it happened. We’d only been married for almost three months, and I honestly was enjoying the time we got to spend together.

  “Grace, are you feeling okay?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “No. I think I’m getting sick. I feel like shit and this morning I threw up.”

  Alex stood there staring at me. “Why are you looking at me like that you freak? I’m not going to get y’all sick. I think it was something I ate.”

  Alex slowly shook her head and said, “Grace! You’re pregnant!”

  Tossing my head back, I said, “No way, Alex. I just got off the pill a few months ago.”

  Pulling her cell phone out of her back pocket, Alex hit a number. “Libby? We have a code baby bundle.”

  “Baby bundle?” I asked as Alex rolled her eyes. Apparently, Libby didn’t know what that meant either.

  “Oh my gosh. I declare a new code word. Baby bundle is now the code name of when we have a possible pregnancy.” Alex giggled. “Nope, not me. Grace.”

  I heard Libby scream and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m not pregnant. I’d know if I was, Alex. I’d feel it.”

  “Ha!” Alex said as she turned and walked toward the door that led into the back office of Wild Flower. “Okay, we’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

  Shaking my head, I looked at Bayli. “Your mommy is crazy, Bayli. Do you know that?” Bayli let out a giggle and then blew bubbles as she made funny sounds. “Come on, little bit. Let’s go prove her wrong. That is Aunt Grace’s favorite thing to do, prove your mommy wrong.”

  Bayli kicked her legs and waved her arms. “Oh, you too, huh? I knew I liked you for a reason.”

  An hour later I found myself standing in Libby’s bathroom staring down at a pregnancy test. The plus sign was like a flashing beacon. A warning sign that kept saying over and over, Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

  The soft knock at the door caused me to jump and let out a gasp. “Grace? Can I come in?” Alex’s voice was soft and gentle.

  Reaching over, I unlocked the bathroom door as Alex slowly opened it. Looking over at her, a single tear rolled down my cheek. “Oh Grace. I’m so sorry honey. I thought for sure you were.”

  Wiping the tear away, I held the stick up to her as her mouth dropped open and she let out a gasp. Then her smile faded. “Grace, are you not happy about this?”

  Nodding my head, I said, “No. I mean, yes! I guess I’m just in shock. Why don’t I feel pregnant? Shouldn’t I feel it?”

  Alex took my hand in hers and smiled sweetly. “Oh, Grace honey. I didn’t know either the first time. I think most women probably think they’re sick, just like you did. I’m so happy for you!” Alex pulled me to her as I wrapped my arms around her. Libby walked up and started jumping and pretended to scream. One of the girls must have been asleep.

  When Alex let me go, Libby took her turn with the hugging. “Call Dr. Johnson’s office right now and make an appointment. He’s starting to cut back on patients. My mom said he’s retiring this year. Grace, he has to deliver your baby. He’s delivered most of us! It’s tradition!”

  Nodding my head in agreement, I pulled out my phone. “Oh wait! I need to tell Noah!”

  Well fell into a fit of laughter until Libby put her hand up to her lips. “The girls are both napping. Come on, I’ll grab the monitor and let’s go sit on the front porch. Grace, you can call and make the appointment at least!”

  Alex agreed and shoved my phone into my chest.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon with Alex, Libby, Mireya, and Bayli. It was one of the best afternoon’s I’d had in a long time. It was full of laughter, chasing my precious little niece and holding Bayli until Alex demanded I give her back.

  Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I saw Noah had sent a text.

  Noah: Hey babe! I’m exhausted from helping Will and Luke today. Jesus how do they do this whole cowboy shit every day?

  Grinning, I hit reply.

  Me: My poor baby. I’ll treat you right tonight. Let’s head into Fredericksburg for dinner. I have a surprise for you.

  It didn’t take Noah long before he called.

  “Hey, handsome.”

  “Surprise huh? What is it? Something sexy?”

  Standing up, I made my way down the porch steps as I purred back into the phone. “Yep. Very sexy.”

  “I’m five minutes from home. Where are you?”

  Giggling, I said, “Libby and Luke’s. I’ll leave now. See you at home.”

  Hitting End, I turned and saw Libby and Alex both standing there with silly looks on their faces. “Oh for Pete’s sake. The both of you clearly need to get laid.”

  Alex shook her head and said, “Well we know who will for sure tonight!”

  Giving them a wink, I said, “Hell yeah, I will be. I’m going to head home. Bye y’all.”

  “Love you, Grace. Be careful and tell Noah congratulations!” Libby called out.

  Happiness bubbled up inside of me, but for some reason, doubt plagued my thoughts. Could this really be happening? I had wanted a baby so badly, but I’d kept it to myself for so long. Then when Noah mentioned it, I didn’t want to be a freak and tell him I’d wanted one since the moment his eyes looked my body over. Now, my dream could very well be coming true. My entire body broke out in goose bumps and I c
ouldn’t wipe the smile from my face if I tried.

  Climbing into my car, I took a deep breath in and exhaled it as I calmed my nerves down.

  I knew Noah was going to be beyond thrilled.

  I’m pregnant.

  I’m having Noah’s baby.

  The closer I got to home, the more excited I was to tell Noah.

  Noah’s hand was on my lower back as he led me into August E’s. It was one of his favorite restaurants in Fredericksburg.

  The hostess asked if we were celebrating anything and I had to bit hard on my lip before I busted out and screamed to the world that I was pregnant.

  “Nope. Just a night out with my beautiful wife,” Noah said as he slipped his arm around my waist. My heart was beating so hard in my chest I was sure everyone could hear it.

  As we sat, the hostess went over the specials as she handed us the menus. Noah and I stared at the menus for a couple of minutes as the waitress came and took our drink orders. Putting his menu down, Noah said, “I know what I’m getting. What about you, baby?”

  Baby. He said baby.

  Setting my menu down, I smiled and went to tell him what my order was going to be. Except the only thing I heard coming out of my mouth were the words, “I’m pregnant.”

  I’m pregnant. Holy hell! I’m pregnant and I totally just blurted it out at Noah.

  Making a funny laugh, Noah let out a chuckle and then his face went serious. Pinching my eyebrows together, I shook my head. Way to be romantic, Grace.

  Noah shut his eyes, and shook his head quickly. “W-what did you just say, Grace?”

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out. My hands began sweating as my heartbeat kicked up about ten notches.

  Attempting to speak, I smiled instead. “We’re having a baby,” I whispered.

  Noah quickly stood up, came to my side and pulled me into a standing position. “Grace,” he said in the most amazing voice I’d ever heard. His eyes locked onto mine and when I saw the tears, my knees about buckled. If he hadn’t been holding me up, I was almost positive I would have fallen to the ground.

  “We’re having a baby?” Noah asked in a stunned voice

  Nodding my head, I said, “Yep. I’ve got a bun in the oven.”

  Noah’s eyes moved quickly about my face before they landed on my lips. Licking them instinctively, Noah pressed his lips to mine as he kissed me deeply as we stood in the middle of the restaurant. Pulling his lips back, he spoke against my lips.

  “Holy shit. We’re gonna be parents.”

  Giggling, I placed my head on his chest as he hugged me tightly.

  “We’re having a baby!” Noah shouted as I buried my face in his chest and laughed.

  Applause erupted around the room as people started congratulating us. A few people stood and gave us each a hug, which I thought was so sweet. When we finally sat, Noah reached across the table and took my hand in his.

  “When did you find out?”

  My cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so big. “Earlier today. Alex had a hunch and forced me to take a home pregnancy test. It dawned on me I was late, but I guess I figured my period was messed up from getting off of birth control.”

  Noah’s eyes filled with tears as he leaned forward and kissed my hand. “Grace, you’ve just made me the happiest man in the world.”

  My stomach felt as if a million butterflies were flying around in there. “I um, I called the doctor’s office and made an appointment. Alex and Libby said the doctor will do another test and then do a sonogram.”

  Noah’s grin grew bigger. “When is it?”

  “Tomorrow at nine.”

  “Damn, I’m supposed to do a conference call with one of the suppliers for the new fertilizer we have coming in the store. Let me reschedule it right now.”

  Before I could even say a word, Noah got up and pulled his phone out and called someone as he walked out of the restaurant. I watched him through the window as he talked to whomever he was supposed to be talking to tomorrow. The waitress came over and set our drinks down as she gave me a sweet smile and a wink. “You’re so lucky he is willing to drop work to go with you. My husband has yet to come to one appointment with me.”

  My heart broke for the poor girl standing before me, when I glanced down it was then I noticed she was pregnant. Looking back up into her eyes, I gave her a weak smile and said, “How far along are you?”

  Placing her hands over her stomach, she grinned from ear to ear and said, “Twenty-four weeks.”

  “Congratulations. I hope your husband wakes up soon and realizes what he’s missing out on.”

  Her smile faded, as she slowly nodded her head. “Yeah. Here’s hoping.” Shrugging her shoulders, she put a fake smile on and said, “I’ll be back to take your order when your husband comes back in.”

  Nodding, I said, “Okay. Thank you.”

  Noah walked back into the restaurant and threw two twenty-dollar bills down on the table and reached for my hand. Pulling me up, he brought his lips to my ears and said, “I need to get you home. Now. We’ll pick up something to eat on the way home.”

  Giggling, I turned to see our waitress laughing. She lifted her hand and waved goodbye. Giving her a wave back, I tried to push away the weird feeling that swept over my body.

  Noah

  Taking a hold of Grace’s hand, I pushed the door open to Dr. Johnson’s office. Grace walked in first as she made her way over to the receptionist and signed in. After giving the receptionist everything she needed, they called Grace back to pee in a cup and to draw some blood.

  I sat in the waiting room and tried to calm my nerves down. My stomach felt as if I’d eaten something that was not agreeing with me. The moment the door opened from the back and a nurse called for me, I jumped up and quickly followed her.

  “Your wife is in here. Dr. Johnson will be joining y’all in just a few minutes.”

  Smiling, I nodded and said, “Thank you so much.”

  Grace was sitting on the table biting on her thumbnail. Walking up to her, I pulled her thumb out of her mouth and brushed my lips across hers. “Stop that. Why are you nervous?”

  Exhaling a deep breath, Grace closed her eyes and said, “We’re going to see our baby for the first time, Noah. I’m so scared. What if I’m not a good mom? What if they were wrong about the Fragile X testing?”

  Standing in front of Grace, I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “Baby, settle down. Take a deep breath and blow it out. First off, you’re going to be an amazing mother. They didn’t mess up on the testing so stop worrying.”

  Placing my finger on her chin, I gave her a wink. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

  Grace smiled and dropped her head against my chest. “Okay. You’re right. Deep breaths.”

  There was a light knock on the door before it opened and a doctor I was guessing was Dr. Johnson came walking in with a smile on his face. Holding my hand out, I said, “Good morning, I’m Grace’s husband, Noah Bennet.”

  Dr. Johnson smiled and said, “Pleasure to meet you.” Turning to Grace, the doctor smiled bigger. “Grace, it’s hard to believe you’re sitting in my office. Feels like just yesterday you were born.”

  Blushing, Grace peeked over to me and smiled.

  Dr. Johnson opened up Grace’s file and read over it quickly. “Okay. Well it looks like your tests have all come back positive. Let’s take a look at our little peanut shall we?”

  My heart felt as if it dropped to the floor as Grace reached out for my hand.

  “Move on back and lay down, Grace. We’re going to do a vaginal sonogram since the baby will be smaller. By the date of your last period, I’d be willing to guess you’re about nine weeks or so along.”

  “O-okay,” Grace whispered as she did as Doctor Johnson asked.

  A few seconds later and we were looking at something on the monitor. Dr. Johnson said, “There he or she is.”

  Looking at Grace, I saw the tears in her eyes. Wiping my eyes quickl
y, I looked back at the monitor. Dr. Johnson tilted his head as he moved the wand around. Leaning forward I looked for some sign of something from our child. I figured I’d be seeing a little heart beating quickly. All I saw was a black spot. Then again, I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to be seeing.

  “Where is the baby?” Grace asked.

  Dr. Johnson clicked a few times on the screen, like he was taking measurements.

  Pointing, Dr. Johnson said, “The baby is right here.”

  Looking closely all I could see was a peanut looking thing. My gut told me something was wrong.

  After taking a few more measurements, Dr. Johnson did a few other things before he turned back to, Grace. I didn’t even need to hear what he was going to say. Somehow I already knew by looking into his eyes. Clearing his throat, Dr. Johnson started to talk as he looked at Grace and then me.

  “Grace, I’m not picking up a heartbeat.”

  Grace’s smile vanished as she shook her head and whispered, “What?”

  Squeezing her hand, I sat next to the bed and stared at our child.

  “It appears the baby passed away maybe a few days ago, possibly even a week ago.”

  A sob escaped Grace’s mouth as she slammed her hand over her mouth. “How . . . um . . . how do you know that, Dr. Johnson.”

  “The measurements of the baby show he was about seven to eight weeks.”

  Grace closed her eyes and shook her head. “What if you’re wrong? What if there is a heartbeat and you just can’t see it?”

  Dr. Johnson looked lovingly at Grace as he swallowed hard. This had to be hard on him as well. “Grace, I’m so sorry, but it’s very evident that you’ve suffered a miscarriage.”

  Looking away, I fought to hold down my breakfast. Closing my eyes, I counted to ten before turning back and focusing on Grace.

  Tears poured down Grace’s face. “No. Dr. Johnson. Please tell me you’re wrong. Please.”

  “Oh Grace, I’d give anything not to tell a parent this type of thing. Grace, I’m so very sorry, but the baby is gone.”

  Grace’s body shook as she sobbed and asked, “What did I do wrong?”

  At this point, the doctor had removed the wand and was motioning for me to help Grace sit up. Doing so, I helped her sit up as she stared at the screen and repeated. “What did I do wrong?”