Snow Angels: An emotional Christmas read from the Sunday Times bestseller (The Lovely Lane Series Book 5)

by Nadine Dorries

  ‘Doris,’ he shouted, ‘what on earth is all this?’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, it’s my sewing stuff. I’ll be off in a minute. Not that you would have a clue what I’m up to, seeing as how you didn’t get home until gone eleven and missed out on supper with your own son and Teddy.’

  Dr Gaskell slapped his hand to his forehead.

  ‘Don’t bother with an excuse,’ she said. ‘I’ve heard them all before. And why is it my sewing bag is a problem? You have just swerved to miss your own golf bag.’ She bent down and lifted her bag from the rug onto the chair.

  Dr Gaskell smiled at his wife who had recently morphed into a new woman, one he didn’t know; and it dawned on him that he found this new woman, who was answering him back, quite exciting.

  ‘Well, Mrs Know-it-all, I can guarantee, you won’t have heard this one.’

  Doris raised her eyebrows. ‘Try me,’ she said. ‘Only don’t take long – I don’t want to be late at Mavis’s house.’

  ‘Mrs Tanner’s?’ He looked even more surprised. ‘From the WVS? Nurse Tanner’s mother?’

  ‘Yes, the very same Mrs Tanner. The nurses need dresses running up for Nurse Davenport’s party and I said I would help – although there is no way I am going to ask about the provenance of the fabric. When I remarked on it sounding like such beautiful silk fabric, one you would struggle to find as good in George Henry Lee’s, I heard the words “fell off the back of a ship” and I changed the subject, quick.’

  Now her husband did laugh out loud. ‘Well, they do live on the dock streets and by those very docks, they thrive or fail,’ he said. ‘Look, Doris, I’m sorry about last night, there has been a bit of a catastrophe at the hospital and that was Dr William I was on the phone to. A letter of complaint has been sent into children’s services about the way Emily and Dessie have been raising Louis and, well, one of the conditions of the pre-adoption fostering, was that Emily gave up work.’

  ‘But she hasn’t,’ she said. ‘She was telling me at Matron’s drinks that her nurses were sitting exams that week.’

  ‘That’s right, she hasn’t, and children’s services are being very difficult about it. She was also less than honest with Matron, but Matron understands why and, to be frank, that is the least of their worries, or should I say, our worries.’

  Doris picked up the teapot to empty it down the sink. ‘Do you want another cup, there’s one left in here?’

  He shook his head and said, ‘Doris, I think that they may be about to lose Louis.’

  ‘About to lose him? That’s not possible!’ The smile Louis had given her, the moments of bonding while she had fed him had lit a torch in her heart.

  ‘I’m afraid it is true. Matron has telephoned the new woman who runs children’s services – and you know as well as I do that Matron can work miracles. It would appear, however, not to be the case this time. This nightmare of a woman apparently received a second letter of complaint, just before Matron telephoned her, pushed through her own letter box this morning, with pages from Louis’ hospital notes, showing that he is failing to attend appointments and has lost a considerable amount of weight.’

  Doris was shocked. ‘I fed him myself,’ she said. ‘He was a bouncing healthy weight. Considering what he was like a few months ago, it is quite remarkable. Does this mean that it’s someone from the hospital making the complaints?’

  ‘It looks that way. I had him on my knee last night,’ said Dr Gaskell as he slipped his hands into his trouser pockets and began to pace the floor. ‘Emily came to see Matron and I, to confess what she had done – even Dessie didn’t know that she had carried on working without permission – and to be honest, without these letters of complaint, it would have been an easier battle to fight. As it is, Miss Devonshire has just told me she won’t see Dr William or I and would we do her the courtesy of driving around to Emily and Dessie’s house, as we are so concerned, to let them both know – and there were no ifs or buts – that she will be collecting Louis later today, to take him to Strawberry Fields children’s home just as soon as they confirm that they have a cot available.’

  *

  Dana and Pammy were the first to arrive at Mavis’s house where a line of children were standing at the kitchen door, having gloves, hats and scarves inspected by the lady of the house.

  ‘Now,’ she said, ‘off, the lot of you – and if one of you comes back with a scarf missing, you’ll feel the back of my slipper across your backside, do you hear.’

  There was a chorus of ‘Yes, Mam’, then the children all shouted ‘Pammy!’ and jumped up to kiss their older sister, before running out into the entry, pushing and shoving, squealing and shouting as they did so.

  ‘If they had to knit the scarves themselves, they wouldn’t lose them, I can tell you,’ said Mavis. ‘Our Lorraine is at the college and God, I do miss her looking after them. Go on, into the front room, you two, I’ve got everything laid out. I’m just going to put a flame under this pan and then I can leave it to simmer all morning and I haven’t got to worry about the food then. The crew from the Queen Elizabeth could walk in through our door unannounced and there’d be enough. Mind you, sometimes I think our Stan could eat enough for ten men and look at the size of him – Skinny Stanny I call him. I’ll drop the spuds in at twelve and bingo, we’re onto a winner, eh, Dana?’

  Dana laughed. She didn’t think she had ever met anyone in her life as full of life as Mavis Tanner.

  ‘I just hope Mrs Gaskell doesn’t turn her nose up at it. I mean, I said to our Stan, I have no idea what the likes of the lah-di-dahs eat. I never see anyone down our shops without curlers in – and even when I popped around to their house, which is lovely, by the way – there she was, she doesn’t even wear a housecoat.’

  ‘Is she definitely coming?’ asked Pammy.

  ‘She is, and with Beth and Victoria, Madge, Doreen, Gracie, Biddy, and Elsie that’s a army. Easy-peasy, eh, girls? We’ll have those dresses knocked out in no time.’

  Dana walked into the lounge and saw two bolts of fabric leant up against the wall. One was an emerald green satin and the other a black shot silk, while a wad of cream organza sat on the table with a navy-blue silk next to it. The girls gave a sharp intake of breath.

  ‘Where did this come from?’ gasped Dana.

  Pammy looked at her and grinned. ‘My mam’s done well.’ The blow of a ship’s horn filled the room. ‘See that ship down on the docks? Me da will have met one of the sailors down the pub. That’s how. We might be poor down on the dock streets, but we rarely go without. Right, me mam’s got everyone’s measurements written down somewhere, so let’s get everything ready while we wait for the others.’

  *

  Doris Gaskell lowered herself into the chair; she felt shocked to her core. She had seen with her own eyes the bond between Emily and Louis, could not believe that the child was about to be taken off her.

  ‘It’s a disaster, it is a complete catastrophe,’ she said as she looked up to her husband.

  ‘I told you it was,’ he said as he pulled out the chair next to her. He placed his elbows on the table. ‘There was no reasoning with Miss Devonshire, I’m afraid, she would hear none of it. I tried my best.’

  Doris looked straight at him. ‘Miss Devonshire, you say. As in Dukie?’

  ‘Who?’ her husband asked.

  ‘Dukie, she worked down at the shipping office with me, very well-to-do. Her fiancé died in the war and left her in difficult circumstances.’ She pushed the chair back and rose to her feet. ‘Are you still going to see her with Dr William?’

  ‘No,’ her husband said, looking mildly confused. ‘There’s no point. I’ve just asked Dr William to come here so that we can both go and tell Emily and Dessie that the baby is being taken off them. I’ve told many people many things, and many of them have been the worst news, and God himself knows I’ve never been one of those doctors who could just shrug it off, but this… this is different. I know and work with Emily and Dessie. This will break
her heart and hasn’t she been through enough losing her entire family in the Blitz?’

  ‘No, you are not going to Emily and Dessie’s house. You are both taking me to Miss Devonshire’s house and she can hear from me before you both do anything. Right, where’s my hat?’

  Chapter 19

  Biddy fetched the letters and placed them in front of Malcolm. He peered at them as though Biddy had placed a nest of cockroaches on his dining table.

  ‘I can’t open them, I feel guilty,’ he said. ‘I mean, isn’t it illegal to open someone else’s mail?’

  ‘Malcolm, you’ve said yourself, he isn’t coming back. It’s up to you, but I would find out who is sending them and then put them all into one envelope and return to sender. Hurry up, because I’ll have to go and check on the baby in a minute.’

  Malcolm opened the first letter and began to read it out loud; only when he got to the bottom did the colour leave his face.

  Dear Jacob,

  I am going to push this letter through the door of your lodgings and I don’t have long to write it. I am in desperate trouble. I think I am having your baby and I haven’t heard anything from you for weeks. You said you would be back within three months and there has been no sign of your ship. I have told Maja and I thought she would be angry, but she was so kind. However, she doesn’t want me to tell Benjamin. He is always worried and suspicious. Always looking over his shoulder for the Gestapo. Sometimes I think he is going mad and others, that maybe he knows something he just won’t tell us for fear of scaring us.

  Maja said it would be better to wait until you come home and then you and I can tell him together. Maja has told Ben that she wanted me to give up work at the café and to be at home with her because her bones are aching and he agreed. He always let me keep the money from the café and I have it saved.

  Ben is always receiving news from Poland. He says that a net like a spider’s web has been thrown across the world and that everyone who fled Poland in the war will be found and have to pay Poland back. Ben has a contact from home that he meets every week, a woman. She has been to the house to talk to both Maja and I and I will not tell her my predicament. Maja says she was a spy during the war and now she works against the new regime.

  Please, Jacob. The second you come ashore and read this letter, run to the house. Come to me. I can only do this with you at my side. I believed you when you said you loved me and you know I love you – how could I not? Our love has given us more than we thought before we could marry. Come safely home, my love, and then, run to me.

  Your Eva

  Malcolm looked up at Biddy, his hand trembling, and the paper crackled as it slipped from his fingers onto the table. ‘Biddy, these letters – they’ve been written by Eva.’

  ‘What, your Eva, the girl who is staying here?’

  ‘Yes, it has to be the same one. How many Evas do you know in Liverpool? It all fits into place now, the way she looked at those letters on the stand, the night she arrived.’

  ‘The poor girl! Well, there’s no baby in tow so I wonder what happened.’

  ‘That’s none of our business,’ said Malcolm. ‘Now I feel really terrible; she’s going to come back this morning and see those letters have gone. What am I going to say?’ Malcolm had felt his heart slide down into his boots and he realised, with a shock of surprise, that his feelings for Eva were strong.

  ‘In for a penny, in for a pound I say,’ said Biddy. ‘Look, why don’t you open the next one? You can’t put them back with one missing.’

  ‘I can’t,’ said Malcolm. ‘I don’t want to upset her.’

  ‘Flamin’ hell, Malcolm, you’ll upset me if you don’t. Look, take my advice; best thing to do is to tell her he’s not coming back so you put the letters on the fire. That way, she can move on – and if you don’t mind my saying, so can you.’

  Malcolm removed his glasses. ‘What do you mean, Biddy?’

  Biddy dragged her chair across the rug and positioned it next to his. ‘Malcolm, it’s as plain as the nose on your face that you like her, don’t you?’

  Malcolm thought, his face flushed, and a light sprang into his eyes as he turned to Biddy. ‘I do.’

  ‘Well, lad, take my advice – you know I’m never wrong. Let’s get those letters read and burnt, then you will know what you are dealing with.’ Malcolm stared down at the pile. ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, give them here.’ And Biddy snatched the pile and opened the next letter.

  Dear Jacob,

  I feel as though I am at my wit’s end. You haven’t replied to my letter and you must surely have read it by now. My heart is breaking and I am so confused. I think that maybe you have it but have no way to post a letter back to me? Maja said that the tramp ship sailors had the best money, but the worst lives. She said they were the ships that took the cargos to the places others wouldn’t. Jacob, you never told me that. Maja made it sound dangerous and I think you were just being brave and that when you told me you didn’t know where you were sailing to after Portugal, you didn’t tell me the truth to spare me the worry.

  Maja told Ben about the baby, she had to. Our child refuses to be hidden and it is very obvious to anyone who would see me that I am pregnant. Ben lost his temper and has ordered Maja to make sure I stay indoors. He is not a bad man, he never shouts, but lately, he has been restless and anxious. Maja says it is because he received a letter from one of his friends who was in the orchestra with him in Warsaw and who escaped to London. Ben collects his post from a post box number in town, he doesn’t even have the mail delivered here and he has been like a caged lion since that day. He insists we eat in the back of the house and now I am not even allowed out in the street until after the baby is born.

  Ben has brought the car into the garage and he walks into town with his hat down and travels on the bus from Menlove Avenue, not from the bottom of our own road. Maja says he writes down all the details of every car he sees parked outside and checks the list each morning when he is on the bus. We have a story, that we have been living in London since before the war and came to Liverpool for Ben’s job. No one in the Avenue knows what he does. They think he is a music teacher and we have never spoken to our neighbours. When they knock on the door, he won’t allow us to open it.

  Oh Jacob, I remembered the last conversation we had so well, when we sat on the bench looking out over the dock. Do you remember? There were so many stars shining on the black water. Your ship was the only one docked in the Princess dock that night and it creaked and groaned. I laughed and said it sounded like a moaning old man was watching us. The dock was empty apart from the two of us and I remember your words, you said that you would make one more journey on the tramp ship and then, when you came back, we would take the train to London and then onto Poland, together. You said you would take me back and with the money you had earned and I had saved, we had enough to make our own home. I remember your eyes, Jacob. You had the kindest eyes and then you kissed me for that last time and I thought I had fainted and gone to heaven. I feel closer to you, as though we have just spoken, and our baby is calmer because I know that the moment you can, you will come looking for me, for us.

  Your loving Eva.

  Melly walked into the room, clanking a mop and bucket at her side. ‘I haven’t mopped in here, yet,’ she said as she folded her arms and glared at Biddy. She had never liked Biddy, liked Eva even less. ‘Are those the letters off the rack?’ She didn’t wait for a reply. ‘Thank God, I thought you were never going to get rid of them. I was going to chuck them myself if they hadn’t gone by Christmas.’

  Biddy wasn’t listening, she was reading the next letter as fast as she could.

  ‘Malcolm, I’ve put the meat from the butcher under a towel next to the sink, he just dropped it off,’ Melly said. ‘We need to check the weight – it was short weight last week.’ But Malcolm wasn’t listening. His eyes were fixed on Biddy and he was listening intently to her every word.

  Dear Jacob,

  Still no word and my
time must be near. I feel in my heart that you are thinking of me, of us. I know you cannot have had the letters, or you would have replied. Every day Maja asks me the same questions: are you sure he said he was coming back? Are you sure he talked about marrying? She doesn’t mean to upset me or to hurt me but now I no longer answer her questions, I make myself busy and in doing so, make my point.

  Ben says that most Polish women have their babies at home and that I will too. He says that Maja knows what to do.

  But Ben sounds more confident than Maja; I don’t think she has any idea at all. She seems very nervous when I mention it. She has no children of her own so how can she possibly know what to do? Because Ben doesn’t want me to be seen out in the Avenue, Maja walked down to the footpath and checked the way was clear before we left today and she said we would have to stay out until it was dark before we could come back home. I was so tired. We went to a café in town and Maja kept saying all the time, ‘Don’t make eye contact with anyone, Ben would be so cross.’

  I think something is very wrong. I am sure that Benjamin is imagining all of this and that when our baby is born, somehow, I have to get away. This environment is no good for either me or the baby and I cannot hide our son or daughter away. I love Maja and Ben so much, but it is all getting so much worse. He brings letters back from the group he visits on Mondays and shows them to Maja, but not to me. He and Maja read them when I wash up after supper and he is making Maja as mad as he is.

  If you haven’t returned before I run away, I will make sure to leave the address to let you know where I am at the Seaman’s Stop. Our baby is oblivious to all of this is and keeps kicking me to let me know he or she is there. I wish you could see, my kochanie. When I am in bed at night, I whisper to our child and I say that if it is a boy, I will name him after my father and you, Elijah Jacob, and if it is a girl, after my mother, Ella. I wish I knew where it was your mother lived; I would run to her and tell her I was carrying your child and we needed somewhere to wait for you. This is all so hard to bear. Sail safely home and run to us,