Snow Angels: An emotional Christmas read from the Sunday Times bestseller (The Lovely Lane Series Book 5)

by Nadine Dorries

  Your loving Eva.

  Melly leant on her mop. ‘Silly cow. The docks are paved with broken hearts…’

  The next letter was the last and much thicker than the others. Biddy felt a strong sense of foreboding and as she hesitated. She glanced towards the window; no sound from Louis. He must still be asleep. She would read this last letter and then she would bring him in, he had slept for long enough.

  ‘Come on then, let’s weigh the meat,’ said Malcolm. ‘How short was it last week?’

  ‘Four ounces I’m guessing,’ said Melly. ‘I’m not saying he does it deliberate, mind, I mean he drinks in the Silly and I see him every night, it could be that lad of his, but it’s worth checking.’

  Their voices began to fade as they moved towards the kitchen. Malcolm glanced back. He wanted to know what the letter contained, but he also dreaded knowing, so he was happy for Biddy to read it alone…

  Biddy slipped the final and longest letter out of its envelope. This letter was in an air mail envelope and had a postage mark from New York.

  Dear Jacob,

  I have given birth to our little boy, Elijah Jacob. We did not get to the hospital because Ben wouldn’t let us, even though Maja pleaded with him. Elijah Jacob made an undignified entrance here on the bathroom floor, one week ago. We are not allowed out. I cried when Benjamin said that. I can bear anything, but not our baby being denied fresh air and sunshine.

  I heard Maja and Benjamin arguing; she said he was going mad and the next day the Polish woman came to the house in a van and brought a pram which Benjamin put in the garage. Maja had made him tell her and to ask for her help. He has said that when the baby is ready for fresh air, he can go in the garage in the pram and that I may leave the doors open because they face the kitchen window, but only when he is asleep. He must not be allowed to cry and attract attention.

  Elijah and I have been upstairs since he was born and Maja has been looking after us. I was sick and had a temperature and Maja and I thought we might have to call a doctor. Ben said that if I didn’t get better, the Polish woman would bring a doctor, but first, she came to see me. Maja said she wasn’t allowed to know the Polish woman’s name, but she had come to Liverpool from London.

  As soon as the woman left, Maja came upstairs with herb tea for me. ‘I think something has happened in Liverpool,’ she said. ‘The woman said that the agents are here. She said they had only been in London until now, looking for those who came from Poland but now they were in Liverpool and Manchester and that they were brutes. She said that she was there to help the families who wanted to leave Liverpool now and take the ship to New York where there was more protection for Polish Jews. That they had set up a network for people to be received and helped when they got there.

  Maja said we won’t have to go, that Ben will never leave the orchestra behind. I hope Maja is right. I want to be here when you return. Even if we have to live as prisoners, hidden away, we will wait.

  Your son, he has no hair yet. He does have your brown eyes and if I tell you that he is the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on, I am not telling you the truth, because he is more than that. I cannot tear my eyes away from him. But I don’t think I have enough milk for Elijah and he is too thin. Ben will only let Maja go out if she is with him and we aren’t even allowed the lights on when it is dark, we sit in the back of the house in candlelight. Our precious son has woken from his sleep, I will continue tomorrow.

  Jacob, I pray every day to God that you will soon return. I have faith in you. I know you are coming. I cannot think otherwise because if you don’t, I fear something very bad is going to happen.

  Dear Jacob,

  I have little time to write. It is the last time Maja will leave the house before Benjamin returns and so I must be quick. The enforcement agents from Poland have found Ben and we have to leave tonight. He has told me that I cannot take Elijah, that I have to leave him at the gate to the children’s home, Strawberry Fields. The community we are being taken to join in New York has not been told that I am an unmarried mother and it may jeopardise their welcome to us if they know. Benjamin thinks people will be suspicious of him and wonder who the father is. I will not do this. By the time tonight arrives, I will have found some way for us to escape.

  Ben has told the woman that I am his niece but he says people have evil minds and he says that you are not coming back to us. He does not know or understand you, my love. I know you are thinking about me right now, as I am thinking about you.

  The woman brought some tablets for me. I have been sick since Elijah’s birth. I wake in the night, hot and covered in perspiration and always shivering. I have had headaches that make it hard for me to move and I cannot lift my head up without effort and the pains in my belly make me feel so sick.

  The woman has told Ben she already has a place for him with an orchestra in New York. I cannot go and leave Elijah behind. He is not well. He is too thin and pale but his eyes smile. I tell him about you every day. About how his daddy is working hard to save up money so that we can all return to live in Poland. Hurry. I feel as though something terrible is about to happen. There is a banging on the door, I have to go. Maja is taking this letter for me. Hurry, please.

  ‘No need to open the rest of the letters. I think we know enough now,’ said Biddy.

  Malcolm and Melly walked back in as Biddy was folding the letter.

  She felt sick to her stomach; the penny had dropped. Elijah was Louis. Eva was Louis’ real mother. God, what was the right thing to do? She had to go to the police, there was no option, but Emily, Dessie? She rose to her feet and felt giddy herself.

  ‘Shouldn’t you be going now?’ said Melly. ‘Isn’t it time that Eva brought the baby back?’ Melly lit a cigarette as Biddy put her hand on the back of the chair to steady herself. She felt as though someone was tugging at the edges of the rug she was stood on.

  ‘Bring what baby back?’

  ‘Your baby, little Louis. I saw her take him fifteen minutes ago.’

  ‘What do you mean, took him? Are you sure?’ Her words ended on a shrill note and Melly looked more scared than cocky.

  ‘Am I sure? Of course I’m sure. I thought you must have known.’

  Biddy ran to the front door and flung it open. And then, in something that sounded between a shout and a scream, she yelled, ‘Malcolm, call the police.’

  Chapter 20

  Ida wasn’t used to anyone knocking on the front door, other than the rent man, and he came on Thursdays. ‘Who the hell is this?’ she said to the dog. ‘Just as I’m about to go for my sleep.’

  The knock came again, loud and impatient. ‘Hang on, hang on, I’m coming,’ she shouted, hurrying down the hallway. She flung open the door to see Eva standing there with the pram.

  ‘I’ve got him,’ she said. ‘Can we come in?’

  ‘Holy Mother of God,’ said Ida. ‘How the hell did you do that? Quick, go and push him down the back entry and in through the gate and leave the pram in the yard, I’ll meet you at the back door.’ She looked up to the sky and felt the first flakes of snow melt on her skin. ‘Well, that’s an omen if ever I saw one,’ she said as she closed the front door and hurried to the yard.

  *

  Roland and Victoria were halfway to Liverpool when the pains began. ‘Gosh, the Braxton Hicks are strong today,’ she said. ‘I think it was the bumpy road out of the village that did it. I can’t say I’m actually looking forward to labour itself if the practice pains are this bad.’

  Roland looked concerned. ‘Do you want me to turn back?’ he asked.

  ‘Don’t be a silly billy,’ said Victoria. ‘I was so excited about today, I could hardly sleep last night. Did you call Teddy?’

  Roland grinned. ‘I did indeed. He and Oliver and I are going to watch the football, so don’t you worry about me. This is the best idea you have had this week! You sew and we go off to the match.’ He grinned as he kept his eyes forward on the road.

  Victoria would have ans
wered if she could, but the Braxton Hicks were making her short of breath, so she couldn’t. Instead, she grabbed the side of her seat and panted, waiting for it to pass.

  *

  Eva sat on the sofa in Ida’s kitchen with her son on her knee. He didn’t smile, but he did put his hand on her cheek, a look of confusion and bewilderment on his face.

  ‘He knows it’s me,’ said Eva as she looked at Ida who was digging around in the back of a cupboard.

  ‘We’ve got a spare bottle here. We’ve got more than enough grandchildren. I always keep one in, just in case. I’ll warm up some milk.’

  ‘Ida, what do I do now?’ said Eva. ‘He was outside the house, so I hope Malcolm doesn’t get the blame for me taking him. I don’t know what he was doing there. Do you think Malcolm knew and got him for me?’

  ‘I doubt it, love,’ said Ida, placing her hand on Eva’s brow. ‘Are you hot, Eva?’ she asked, with a kindliness Ida was unused to.

  ‘I’ve been hot since he was born, it comes and goes. I’ve never been right since he was born.’

  Ida poured the milk into a pan, as she spoke. ‘Where did you have him?’

  ‘On the bathroom floor, with Maja. She had never done anything like that before, but she did her best. Her and Ben, they never had children.’

  ‘Where is Maja now?’ Ida switched on the gas and checked under the pan to see that it was lit.

  ‘Ben died of a heart attack on the boat on the way to America. I actually thought about throwing myself overboard on that day. I felt as though I was in a living hell.’

  ‘Jesus wept,’ said Ida. She was a woman who found pity a difficult emotion to muster, but faced with Eva in her kitchen, she managed. ‘Where is Maja now then?’ she asked.

  ‘Maja is safe. She is living with a lady we met as soon as we arrived in New York. She and Maja knew each other’s families and now Maja is staying with her. No one will come after her now.’

  Louis’ bottom lip wobbled and he became an eruption of tears and fretful emotion in no time at all. Eva looked scared, but not as scared as Louis.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Ida with a tenderness she was unused to. ‘He’s just hungry. How did you get back here? It must have been expensive.’

  Eva stood and bounced Louis on her hip, but it didn’t work and the volume of his outpouring rose. ‘Maja gave me some of the money out of the violin case that Ben had stored, to come back and get Elijah. She is waiting for me to go back and look after her; life is hard for her with Ben gone.’

  ‘Elijah? A violin case?’ Ida sounded incredulous. ‘Eva, you are making no sense to me whatsoever. Look, what I think we do is give the baby a bottle and I’ll go and see if we have any old nappies in our airing cupboard. Then we can take him in his pram to the house of the lady who runs children’s services. She doesn’t live far – I’ve already been to her house once today.’ Ida winked at Eva and gave her a knowing smile.

  Eva barely noticed as she cradled her son into her. She was pressing her son against the pain that was creeping into her belly, using the warmth of him to hold it down. She focused her mind on her son on her lap, on the smell of him, the softness of the skin on his hands, the wispiness of the dark hair she was kissing over and over again. But it wasn’t working; the pain refused to abate, it was draining her, the pain, rising sharper and faster than before and this time her mind was failing her. She breathed in deeply, not now, not now, she thought, but she knew she was lost. With the relentless speed with which the pain was rising, she would not be able to stand. Her peripheral vision began to blur, her son in her arms felt too heavy.

  ‘Ida,’ she whispered, but Ida wasn’t listening. She was rinsing out a bottle under the tap.

  ‘I put the green sheet in an envelope and wrote to her that the baby wasn’t being looked after properly. She doesn’t need to know that was me, though, so don’t say anything when we get there. Let’s just get him ready and go – you can explain everything to her. He’s your flesh and blood, and you will be keeping him.’ She lifted the net curtain up on the window above the sink. ‘God Almighty, would you look at that. It’s snowing, we had better get a wiggle on.’ As Ida poured the milk from the pan into the bottle, the sound of a police car’s siren ringing out its urgency filled the room.

  *

  Emily had made a good start on the exams. The post-operative care of an appendicectomy was written across the top of the paper before her. She smiled; the scores had been good, her second term nurses had been paying attention. The back door opened and startled her as Dessie walked in and banged his boots on the coconut hair mat.

  ‘Oh hello, I thought you had an oxygen delivery to meet?’

  ‘I did,’ said Dessie, ‘but it arrived early because they were expecting the snow and the night porter checked off most of it.’

  Emily sat back on the chair and watched as her husband removed his brown coat and, without a word, walked over, took her hands in his and lifted her to her feet.

  ‘What?’ she asked.

  ‘Well, I was thinking, if Biddy has taken Louis out for most of the day, and I’m home early, we can finish off what we started last night.’

  Emily giggled and they both ran up the stairs to the sound of a police car’s siren passing down the road. Dessie stopped in his tracks.

  ‘What’s up?’ asked Emily.

  ‘Nothing, it’s a police car, not an ambulance; just making sure it wasn’t turning in through the hospital gates but it hasn’t, it’s carried on to the docks. Now, move!’ He clapped his hands behind Emily and made her squeal as she ran into the bedroom before him.

  *

  Matron heard the siren too and turned the chair from her desk to the window and watched the progress of the police car as it passed by the gates of the hospital. She bent and stroked Blackie’s head. ‘Not for us, thank goodness Blackie. We need a quiet day. Look at that snow.’

  Down in the yard, she saw Jake hauling Christmas trees onto a trailer he had attached to the back of his van. Matron felt a thrill of excitement run through her. She had no one of her own. The hospital, the patients and its staff, they were her family. She rose and walking over to the stationery cupboard, wheeled out a horse on wooden runners and castors.

  ‘We had better get this wrapped up and put next to the tree, Blackie, ready for Louis to open.’ She stroked the mane of the horse and sighed. She knew nothing of the second complaint or the edict issued by Miss Devonshire that she would be taking Louis to Strawberry Fields. As far as she was concerned, Dr Gaskell and Dr William would have worked their charm and magic and all would be well. She glanced at the phone on her desk, willing Dr Gaskell to call with some good news.

  *

  Elsie arrived at Mavis’s just as Roland pulled up outside and sprang out to open the door for Victoria.

  ‘Well, would you look at you,’ said Elsie. ‘You look a bit flushed – are you all right?’

  ‘She insisted on having the heater on,’ said Roland. ‘I’m off to the match so will you look after her for me, Elsie?’

  ‘Of course I will, Roland, off you go. We’ll see you later.’

  Victoria stood and waved off her husband, who stopped at the end of the road to let the police car past.

  ‘Flippin’ heck, that was going fast,’ said Elsie as they walked in through the back door. ‘Hope it’s not for the hospital. Be careful with the snow, Victoria. It’s not sticking but it will be slippy.’

  ‘I’m only having a baby, Elsie. I just said to Roland, even the Queen does that without too much fuss.’

  ‘Yes, well, to your Roland you are his princess and he’s worried about you.’

  ‘Honestly, we’ve got three weeks to go. You would think the baby was coming any day the way he behaves.’

  Elsie smiled and kept her thoughts to herself. She wasn’t sure that Victoria even had three days and she had no idea why they were all there to sew the dresses because any idea of a party was pie in the sky. She wondered if she should tell Victoria and decided
against. ‘Here we are, here’s Victoria, everyone,’ she said as she walked in through the door.

  The kitchen at Mavis’s house was a hive of activity within minutes. ‘Will you check my waist, Mam?’ said Pammy. ‘I’m sure I’ve put weight on.’

  ‘It had better be only weight, my girl,’ said Mavis.

  ‘Mam!’ said Pammy, affronted. ‘Of course it is – what a thing to say!’

  At that moment, everyone turned to Victoria and Pammy slammed her hand across her mouth. ‘Oh Vic, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…’

  Victoria waved her apology away. ‘Pammy, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m a married woman, and honestly, I’d be cross with you too if it wasn’t just a bit of weight.’

  Everyone laughed, crisis averted. Madge was at the sink, her preferred place where sewing was concerned. Elsie placed a cup and saucer in the bowl and both women faced the window.

  ‘Does she know that baby is coming early and about to drop any minute?’ said Madge.

  ‘She does not,’ said Elsie as she rinsed the cup.

  ‘Are you going to tell her? She’s never going to be having a party.’

  ‘I know that,’ said Elsie, ‘but there won’t be a bit of use in anyone telling her. I remember when I began stripping the wallpaper in the kitchen. Everyone told me I’d be having the baby in the middle of it and I wouldn’t listen to a word anyone said. I still carried on. I almost had my baby on the pasting table. What will be will be and the frocks will always come in useful – and let’s face it, they won’t have cost anything.’

  Both women turned and looked at Victoria, her arms held up in the air while Mavis cut a piece of wide elastic next to her.

  ‘Mavis won’t be telling her either,’ said Elsie as she left Madge to dry the cups.