A Life Worth Living

by Amanda Canham

  He heard her push open the door, and felt a little thrill go through him that she was here, even if she sounded mad. Because if she was here, yelling at him, it meant she wasn’t out somewhere, doing God knows what with another man.

  He turned back to the living room and saw his brother stretched out on the sofa.

  ‘Out. Now.’ Cameron pointed his finger at his brother, then the door.

  ‘So that’s Stacey, ay?’

  ‘Yes. Now go.’

  ‘She sounded pretty mad.’

  ‘Go.’

  ‘Maybe I should stay, use some of the Lewis charm that you seem to have forgotten, to smooth things over for you.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Don’t I even get to meet her?’

  ‘No. Now go.’

  ‘Geez, that’s no way to treat the brother that gave up a Saturday night out partying to cheer up his big bro.’

  ‘Now.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I heard you. No need to get your knickers in a twist.’ Brad put the controller on the coffee table and grabbed his things.

  ‘Thanks, man.’ Cameron said as his brother made his way out the door.

  ‘No worries. Just. . .’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Well, I was going to say, “Don’t be stupid”, but I think that’s pretty much a lost cause with you.’

  ‘Gee, thanks, your faith in me is astounding.’

  ‘Anytime, man, anytime,’ his brother said, saluting him as walked out the door. The elevator dinged and the doors whooshed open. Cam watched as Stacey raced through, not noticing Brad giving her a curious look as he got in the lift she was exiting. She stormed down the corridor towards him.

  ‘Come on in,’ Cam said, opening the door wide.

  She barely acknowledged him, thundering past him through the open door to his apartment.

  Cameron sucked in a breath as Stacey brushed past him in whirl of red silk. He followed her into the living room, his gaze fixated on her shapely legs. He realised he’d never seen Stacey’s legs before. She always wore pants at work. He didn’t know why, because she had some of the sexiest legs he’d ever seen. He wondered whether they’d be as silky to touch as they looked.

  No. He needed to concentrate. But then she turned around to confront him, sucking in a deep breath as she prepared to let rip. This, unfortunately for Cameron’s state of mind, had the effect of pushing her chest up, drawing his attention. Her breasts looked larger than he remembered. He wanted to peel away her dress and cup them in his hands. He could almost feel them now.

  ‘I can’t believe you didn’t call me. How old are you, fifteen? Did you really think we’d never see each other again? We work together for crying out loud!’

  The pain in her voice ripped Cameron’s attention away from her body.

  ‘Stacey, I—’

  ‘No. You listen to me! I don’t care if you changed your mind. It was late at night, you were exhausted, you weren’t thinking straight. Those are excuses I can handle. They’re weak and gutless excuses, but at the very least you would be acknowledging what happened. To just ignore it; to completely blot Friday night from your memory and then to withdraw your friendship and treat me like I’m the crazy one for wanting to talk about it is unacceptable. We’re adults, Cam. Let’s deal with this like adults.’

  ‘What do you want, Stacey? Do you want to know why I didn’t call?’

  ‘Yes! That would be a good place to start. Then you can move on to why you’ve been ignoring me all week.’

  Cameron thought about distracting her, skirting around the issue. But she was right. Again. They were adults and he should at least have the decency to be honest with her.

  ‘The truth is I couldn’t call you, Stacey, or talk to you, or be near you, because if I did I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.’

  ‘So what? If you recall anything from Friday night, surely you realise that’s exactly what I want.’

  She said “want”, not “wanted”. Even after all this, she still wanted him. He clamped down on the excitement that shot through him with that realisation. Nothing had changed. They still couldn’t do anything about this attraction.

  ‘Don’t you understand? It would be a mistake for us to do anything. We’re too different. I can never give you what you really want. When we’re apart I can see all this. But when I’m near you, that all goes out the window. All I want to do is touch you, to be with you. I didn’t trust myself to call you, or talk to you about this, because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stick to my guns. Even now, standing here, listening to you yell, all I want to do is rip that dress from you, drag you into my bedroom and make love to you all night.’

  Stacey felt an erotic shiver pass over her at his words. She looked at him properly for the first time since coming into the apartment and saw the hunger in his eyes. His gaze was roving over her, clinging to her breasts one moment, before shifting to her legs, then roaming back up to her mouth. She slipped her tongue out to moisten her suddenly parched lips and heard his breathing become ragged.

  She felt liquid heat run through her veins. Her anger vanished, replaced by molten desire. But her confusion remained.

  ‘Then why don’t you?’ She asked huskily.

  She saw hope flicker in his eyes briefly, in response to the challenge in her voice. Oh, God, how she wanted him.

  ‘I can’t,’ he bit out, between gritted teeth and she knew he was fighting the urge to do just as she asked.

  ‘Why not?’ Stacey persisted, moving towards him, pressing her advantage.

  ‘I told you, we want different things,’ he managed to say, but his eyes told a different story, hypnotised as they were by the sway of her body as she moved in front of him. ‘You want a child, and I don’t.’

  ‘I don’t want a child from you. I’ve already got that sorted.’ Emboldened, Stacey stepped closer. She’d never felt so brave, or so sexy before. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or because of the way Cameron couldn’t tear his eyes from her, and quite frankly, she didn’t care. Tonight she was going to be reckless. She was going to have fun. She was going to have Cameron.

  ‘And I don’t want a future with you. I’ve already got my future sorted.’

  Cameron stood still. He looked like he was frozen. He stared at Stacey as she inexorably made her way towards him. She watched him try to suck in some air as she stopped, only millimetres away from him. He failed.

  ‘All I want from you is this,’ she ran her finger along his hardness where it jutted out against his pants, ‘deep inside me,’ she finished, enclosing him in her hand.

  She felt him shudder beneath her touch and new she’d won.

  With a groan he swooped down, his lips finding hers and plundering them. He plunged one hand into her hair, crushing her to him. There was no softness tonight. The need was too strong.

  Stacey sank into the kiss, leaning her body into his, her hands drifting to his head. The desire that had been sparking in her since she’d entered the apartment—no, since she’d met him—went into meltdown. She didn’t have the strength to stand as she dissolved with need. Her body thrummed in anticipation. She felt his free hand slide down her back, sparking fires everywhere it touched before settling on her derrière. He pulled her close and she moved against his hardness, trying to get closer. She felt him groan into her mouth as he pulled her in deeper, if that was even possible.

  Stacey was in free-fall. She’d never felt like this before. Every part of her was alive; his fingers finding places she hadn’t even known existed. She moved her hands to the bottom of his shirt, tugging, lifting, needing to touch skin. He broke away from her momentarily to pull the shirt off completely, but found her lips again almost instantly.

  Cameron’s fingers ran down the side of her dress, searching for a zip. She agreed – there was too much material between them. She shifted slightly to give him access but he gave up and began bunching the dress up, dragging it over her body. She shimmered and helped him pull her fr
ee. She was rewarded by the feel of his fingers on her bare skin. Shivers ran through her as her breasts brushed against him. His hands slid up her waist until he reached her breasts, cupping them through the red lace of her bra. Stacey’s nerves went into overdrive. They swelled beneath his touch, the nipples tingling as he brushed them lightly with his thumbs.

  She felt a stab of disappointment as his hand left the warmth of her chest, but it was only momentarily. He deftly unhooked her bra and his hand returned once he pulled the barrier free. His lips trailed kisses down her neck, following the curve of her shoulder until he found his goal: nibbling, kissing, tasting the sweetness of her breasts. She pushed his head closer, burying his face in her chest, wanting to be consumed. His fingers drifted south, burrowing beneath the scrap of red lace, sifting through the tightly wound curls until he found the heart of her. Her body twitched convulsively as he rubbed his thumb against her. He slipped a finger inside her. She was moist and warm and ready to explode.

  Stacey pressed herself against him, driving herself down, mindless with want. She threw her head back and groaned.

  ‘God, you’re beautiful,’ he said, pulling his head back and looking down at her, his eyes heavy with lust. He trailed his other hand down her chest and she shuddered beneath his watchful gaze. She was almost at her limit.

  Somehow, he seemed to know. He slipped out of her and scooped her up, carrying her into his bedroom. He stretched her out on the bed and slipped his pants off before joining her. She reached down and grabbed him, pushing him onto his back and making her way down his body. She felt wave after wave of shuddering pleasure roll through him as her hot little hands moved over him and then her mouth engulfed him. His hands clutched desperately at her head, and she knew he’d almost lost it.

  Stacey could have stayed down there forever, but there was an ache, deep inside her that needed to be filled. She replaced her mouth with her hand again and moved back up his body, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers.

  ‘I need you now,’ she whispered in his ear and felt him tremble.

  He stretched an arm over the bed, opening a drawer and producing a condom. Quickly he sheathed himself and then she was on him, slowly sliding down and engulfing him. She arched above him and he ran his hands over her body, caressing her breasts as they swayed above him, taunting his lips. His hands travelled down, encircling her waist before coming to rest on her hips, guiding her as they moved together, as one.

  Stacey stared down into his eyes, lost in a world of blue, even as her body continued to grind against him, harder and faster. Somehow, somewhere, in the middle of all this she was catapulted into another level, something far deeper than the physical joining of their bodies. She leaned down, sinking her mouth onto his, so their tongues mimicked what they themselves were doing. Her breasts slid across his chest, electrified by the rhythm of their movements.

  His smooth hardness filled her, stretching her. She moved up and down, squeezing around him, allowing him to fill her. Stacey moved faster and felt Cameron plunge deep within her, over and over again. And still she couldn’t look away, couldn’t stop sharing this moment, this link with him.

  Her body began to shudder and spasm. Finally she closed her eyes and gave in. From some place distant she heard Cameron cry ‘Oh, God,’ and then Stacey fell over the cliff and forgot everything.

  Chapter 7

  Slowly, but surely, Stacey drifted back to earth. She was lying, collapsed, really, on top of Cameron. His arms were wrapped around her and she snuggled down, enjoying the intimacy before she would have to move away.

  ‘That was good,’ she stated, her voice partly muffled by the smooth muscles of his chest.

  ‘That’s one word for it,’ he answered, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

  ‘Well, how would you describe it then?’ she asked playfully, pulling back so she could look into his eyes.

  ‘Spectacular. Mind-numbing. Earth shattering.’

  ‘I suppose they would suffice as well,’ she answered, looking thoughtful.

  ‘You suppose!’ He exclaimed in indignation.

  ‘Maybe we’ll have to try it again sometime,’ she said, running her fingers across his chest. ‘If you’re still talking to me of course.’

  She kept the words light, but she was nervous just the same, tweaking his hairs while she waited for his answer.

  He captured her hand in his, trapping it against his chest and waiting till she met his eyes before he answered her.

  ‘I’m sorry about this week, Stace. I was trying to protect you, and me, in some abstract way. And then I ended up hurting you anyway, which was never my intention. I won’t be that stupid again.’

  ‘Good,’ she said, leaning down to peck him on the lips before jumping out of bed. ‘In which case, I’d better go,’ she said, searching for her panties.

  ‘Why?’ Cameron asked, propping himself up on an elbow, unabashed in his enjoyment of the view.

  ‘I told you I don’t want a boyfriend.’ Stacey said, finding her underwear and sliding the little red thong up her legs before moving out of the bedroom in search of the rest of her clothes.

  ‘What does that have to do with anything?’

  ‘I may not have done this casual fling thing before,’ Stacey explained as she hooked her bra in place. ‘But I’ve seen the movies, I know how these things work,’ she continued as she shimmied into her dress.

  Once her head was clear, she glanced over at Cam. He was leaning against the wall, naked, his arms crossed against his chest. A shiver ran through her at the memory of that body against hers, inside her. She couldn’t wait to feel that inside her again, but men were different from women. They needed time to recuperate.

  ‘And how exactly do these things work?’ Cam asked suspiciously.

  ‘No sleep-overs, no dates, no breakfasts, no talking about emotions or the state of the relationship, no cuddling, no plans for the future – just pure, unadulterated sex, whenever we feel like it.’

  ‘You seem to have it all worked out,’ Cam said, but she couldn’t read the expression on his face. ‘What about exclusivity?’

  Stacey was reaching for her clutch purse, but her hand hovered over it. The thought of Cam doing what they’d just done with someone else didn’t sit well with her. But she couldn’t let him see that. This thing between them was not supposed to involve any emotions. If she let him know she cared, even a jot, he’d be running for the hills.

  ‘Well, exclusivity probably isn’t all that important. But I think, in this day and age, full disclosure would be appropriate. And, of course, safe sex definitely needs to be practised.’

  ‘Of course. That goes without saying.’

  ‘And in the spirit of full disclosure, I should tell you that I won’t be sleeping with anyone else. It’s not a commitment thing, so don’t freak out. It’s just a bit of an ‘ick’ factor. The thought of doing, you know, with more than one person at a time, just kind of grosses me out,’ Stacey said, looking anywhere but at Cam. ‘That’s just me, though. It doesn’t mean you have to be the. . .’ her voice trailed off as she saw the room properly for the first time. There were empty pizza boxes on the table, and beer bottles on the kitchen bench—too many for just Cam.

  ‘And you’re not, obviously,’ she finished, picking up her purse and moving towards the door, trying to hide the sudden burst of anger. She shouldn’t be mad. Cam could entertain whoever he wanted.

  But just the thought that he’d been. . .intimate. . .with someone else, in the same night as her made her skin crawl. She needed to get out of here before she was sick.

  ‘I’m not what?’ Cam asked, following her to the door.

  ‘Exclusive,’ Stacey said, gesturing towards the living area as she stalked down the hallway.

  ‘Maybe next time you could let me know if you’ve already been with someone. I don’t really want to be the encore performance.’

  She was almost out of the apartment when Cam moved past her, closing the door a
nd leaning against it so she couldn’t leave.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Cam asked again, confused.

  ‘Fine,’ Stacey huffed, leaning back on her heel. If he wanted to go there, they would go there.

  ‘The pizza boxes, the beer bottles, clearly you had company tonight. And, I mean that’s fine. I only came over here on a whim. But I’m not quite that casual yet, and—’

  ‘Alright, stop, now,’ Cameron said, holding a finger up to her lips. ‘I’m not that casual, either. It’s true, I’m not into commitment, but I’m not promiscuous. I don’t have a different woman every night of the week.’ She felt Cameron’s hands move up to her head, cupping her face, and she melted into him, just a little bit. After all, he was saying all the right words.

  ‘If you noticed the beer bottles and pizza boxes, then I’m surprised you didn’t see the controllers on the coffee table and the game still paused on the television screen. My brother was over earlier, we were having a games night. But I kicked him out when you arrived. So there was no one else tonight. And there was no one else last week, and there won’t be anyone else next week. Just you. While we’re doing, whatever it is we’re doing, there will only be you.’

  ‘Oh, okay, that sounds. . .good,’ Stacey said, trying to sound like rivers of joy weren’t bursting through her veins. She couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face, though. His fingers brushed along her cheekbone, and she saw an answering smile on his face. His head drifted down and his lips brushed against hers, strong and powerful, brushing away all her doubts. She dropped her purse as she melted into the embrace, running her hands up into his hair, gripping him to her.

  ‘Just good?’ he murmured against her lips, pulling back slightly, his eyes heady with desire.

  ‘No. It sounds very good. Excellent, even.’ Stacey said, coming back to her senses. She slipped free of his arms, and picked up her purse. She reached past him, opening the door and slipping free of the apartment.

  ‘And make sure you call me, when you want to do this again,’ she called out, waving her purse towards him in farewell as she made her way down the corridor to the bank of elevators.