Listening to Love

by Beth Wiseman

  “He takes it back,” Mary said. “Our family has a lot of friends who aren’t Amish.”

  Lucas hung out with Natalie a lot, but he’d never mentioned her to his parents. With eight brothers and sisters still living at home, it was easy to get lost in the crowd, as long as everyone kept up with their chores.

  Levi finally said, “I take it back.”

  “Look who decided to join us.” Mary nodded to her right at their black cat.

  Natalie reached out to pet him. “Maxwell! You sweet boy, I’ve missed you.” Grimacing, she looked at Mary. “What’s wrong with him? His hair is standing straight up, and his eyes look wild.”

  “He has started doing that when a storm is coming.”

  The cat circled the table and even hissed once before he returned to the living room.

  Mary craned her neck until she could see the distressed animal. “He gets on the windowsill. Isn’t it odd how he just knows when bad weather is approaching?”

  “Mamm says her knees ache when a storm is coming.” Lucas laid his fork on his plate. “It didn’t look like rain, and Daed usually tells us if bad weather is forecast. He checks the newspaper.”

  As if it was God’s perfect timing, a loud clap of thunder shook the windows, followed by a loud neigh of disapproval from Lucas’s horse.

  “Uh-oh.” Natalie pushed her lips into a pout again. “That’s not good. You can’t take the buggy home if it storms bad.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin before she laid it across her plate. “You’ll have to make an exception and let me drive you home. It was already a little icy on the roads. If it rains, it’s going to be a mess.”

  Lucas stood, as did Levi. “For now, I gotta get Red in the barn. I just have her tethered to the fence.”

  They were out the door in seconds, and by the time they reached the horse, another thunderous roar sounded, followed by a downpour that filled the sky.

  Uh-oh, indeed.

  * * *

  Natalie walked to the kitchen window as black clouds hovered overhead, firing lightning bolts and unloading massive amounts of rain. “You have to talk Lucas into letting me drive him home, Mary.” She spun around. “I know you all occasionally drive in bad weather, but won’t this thunder spook the horse? Not to mention how slick the roads will be. Or he needs to spend the night here.”

  “I don’t think he will stay here.” Mary stood and walked to the fireplace in the living room. Natalie followed. “Levi told me Lucas walks in his sleep and that it’s much worse when he’s away from home. As a young boy, he was allowed to stay with friends sometimes, but it was always a problem. One time he even left a friend’s house and headed down the road.”

  “He still does that as an adult?” Natalie had sometimes walked in her sleep when she was a child, but she’d outgrown it by the time she was a teenager.

  Mary shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think Levi knows for sure either. It stands to reason that he must still sleepwalk sometimes since he is so against sleeping away from home.” After Mary added a log to the fire, she turned around to face Natalie. “But maybe don’t mention that to Lucas. I think it would embarrass him.”

  “I won’t say anything.” Natalie tried to picture Lucas sleepwalking.

  “Personally, I don’t think either of you should travel in weather like this. My family would put each of you in extra bedrooms, or even on the couch, but Levi and Lucas’s family has a strict rule about two single people staying overnight in the same house, no matter what.”

  “That’s crazy. They’d rather their son get into an accident than stay safe?”

  Mary shrugged again, then stoked the fire. “I just don’t think he will stay.”

  “Well, if that’s the case, he’s going to have to let me drive him home.” Natalie groaned a little. “I couldn’t live with some of these Amish rules.” She couldn’t imagine not having a car, for starters.

  “Nee, you couldn’t.” Mary touched her friend’s arm. “Lucas is a grown man. He’ll do what he thinks is best.”

  Something about Mary’s response made Natalie wonder if her friend was still worried about her friendship with Lucas. She sat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other.

  “If this storm doesn’t let up, he should stay or let me drive him home. I think bad weather is close enough to an emergency.”

  Mary looked past Natalie and out the window. “Let’s just wait and see what the weather does.”

  Natalie lifted herself from the couch. She wished she hadn’t had that third slice of buttered bread or extra helping of potatoes, but she always overindulged on Friday nights. She followed Mary back to the kitchen to help clean up. Mary would argue that it wasn’t necessary, but Natalie would help anyway.

  As the wind whistled and howled outside, more lightning and thunder filled the sky, and rain pelted against the farmhouse’s tin roof like pebbles.

  “I think that’s hail.” Mary handed Natalie a dish to dry. “I think you’re right. We are going to have to convince Lucas not to take the horse out in this. But I don’t want you leaving in your car either until we think it’s safe.”

  “No arguments from me.” Natalie disliked driving in the rain, even more so in sleet and snow.

  “It sounds like a few card games will be in order.” Mary handed Natalie another dish.

  Natalie nodded. She prayed the storm would end and she and Lucas would both get home safely, but playing cards and spending more time with her friends wouldn’t be so bad either.

  “Ach, remember, no supper here next Friday. We’re having both families over on Saturday, and I’ll have a lot of food to prepare. You’re coming Saturday, ya?”

  “Yep. My mouth waters when I think about all the good food that will be here.” The wonderful meals were always a bonus at an Amish gathering.

  A few minutes later, Natalie and Mary rushed to the front door each carrying a large bath towel. Lucas and Levi walked into the living room soaking wet and shivering. Neither had put on a coat before they rushed out the door to tend to Lucas’s horse.

  Mary wrapped the towel around her husband, and Natalie did the same for Lucas, gently rubbing the towel across his face, neck, and arms. She wouldn’t have thought a thing about it if Lucas hadn’t abruptly moved away from her, taking the towel with him to stand in front of the fireplace.

  She’d never really touched him before, but helping him dry off was instinctive. Did he think it meant something else? They’d never held hands. They were friends. They hadn’t hugged because Natalie learned a long time ago that the Amish were not fond of public affection. She supposed a hug in the privacy of Levi and Mary’s home would have been fine, but it had just never happened. And she and Lucas were never alone. They chatted in restaurants, libraries, or anywhere other people were. They talked on the phone a lot.

  Natalie took a deep breath and reminded herself she had a tendency to overthink things, but she hadn’t done so about her friendship with Lucas. She wasn’t going to start now. Maybe he was just cold and anxious to get in front of the fireplace.

  She shivered as flashes of lightning came closer together, followed by thunderous booms that sounded like explosives going off. She wondered when traveling would be safe.

  Chapter 2

  Helen stared out the window into the darkness. It was almost midnight, and Lucas hadn’t returned home from Levi and Mary’s house. She turned around when a board creaked behind her, the one outside her and Isaac’s bedroom.

  “Lucas still not home?” Her husband spoke through a yawn as he cozied up beside her.

  Helen shook her head as she hugged herself.

  “He’s a smart man.” Isaac yawned again before wrapping his arms around her. “Maybe he waited out the storm at his bruder’s haus and is on his way, or he might have chosen to spend the night there.”

  “You know he won’t spend the night away from home.” Shivering, she turned to face him and leaned into his warmth.

  “Come back to bed, Helen. He’ll be her
e in the morning.” Her husband kissed her gently on the lips, then turned her around and pointed out the window. “Look, car lights.”

  “Please, dear Lord, let that be Lucas in the passenger seat and not someone delivering bad news.” She placed her hands over her pounding heart and peered out the window until the blinding headlights caused her to look away. When she looked back, she saw Lucas walking across the front yard.

  “See, he looks fine. Just waited out the storm and hired a driver.” Isaac leaned around and kissed her on the cheek.

  “We only hire drivers when there is no other option. I hope he wasn’t in an accident.” Helen leaned closer to the window when her son turned around to go back to the car. “Why is he going back?”

  “Maybe he forgot to pay the driver.”

  Lucas had only taken a couple steps when the driver’s door flew open and a young woman stepped out carrying Lucas’s hat. She handed it to him and they both laughed before she walked back to the car. “Why does that Englisch maedel look familiar?”

  Isaac leaned closer. “It’s hard to see her.” He shrugged. “Probably just a woman he hired.”

  Helen squinted. “Maybe.”

  A few minutes later, Lucas walked into the living room, quietly closing the door behind him as he slipped out of his coat and shoes. When he turned around, he startled. “Ach! What are you doing up?”

  “Your mamm was worried. You’re usually home much earlier. I told her you probably waited out the storm at your bruder’s haus.”

  “It stopped raining over an hour ago. Why did you hire a driver?” Helen stepped closer to Lucas, picked up the lantern from the coffee table, and held it up. She just needed to see that he was all right.

  Lucas took off his hat and placed it on the rack by the door. “Levi and Mary’s road had iced over. Even in a car, it was slippery until we got to the main road. Then it was okay. I’ll get Red and the buggy tomorrow after the sun is out.”

  “You could have just stayed at your bruder’s haus, though I know that wouldn’t have been your preference.” Helen walked back to the window just as the car pulled out of their driveway. “Who did you hire?” She turned to face him when he didn’t answer right away.

  “I, uh, didn’t hire anyone. That was Natalie, Mary and Levi’s friend. You’ve met her once or twice when she was with Mary.” Her son started toward the stairs.

  “It was hard to see, but I told your daed I thought she looked familiar.”

  Lucas slowed his stride but didn’t turn around. “Ya, she is going to stay at Levi’s instead of driving all the way back to Montgomery.” He finally looked over his shoulder. “It was nice of her to bring me home, and I was glad we didn’t hit any more ice, so she should be okay getting back to their haus.” He gave a quick wave. “Night, Mamm.” And he disappeared upstairs.

  “Can we go back to bed now?” Isaac sighed before yawning again.

  “You go ahead. I’ll be there shortly.”

  Isaac ambled back to their bedroom, and Helen carried the lantern to the kitchen. She eased a chair back from the kitchen table, set the lamp down, and slipped into the chair. A moth that must have followed Lucas inside buzzed around the dim light, bumping it every now and then.

  Her heart raced as she thought about all the Friday nights Lucas had been going to have supper with Levi and Mary. She wondered if Natalie had been there all those evenings too. If so, why hadn’t Lucas mentioned her?

  * * *

  Lucas climbed into bed, glad he’d transformed the attic into his own private space not long ago. Otherwise, he’d be forced to share a bedroom with one of his brothers. He lowered the flame on the lantern, fluffed his pillow, and pulled the two heavy quilts up to his neck. He regretted not grabbing a hot water bottle before coming upstairs. His mother always heated water and left it on the woodstove, along with a plentiful supply of hot water bottles for frigid nights. Lucas was too cold and tired to go back downstairs, and he didn’t want to miss Natalie’s call. He was dozing off when the phone buzzed.

  “I didn’t have any problems getting back to Mary and Levi’s,” she said right after he answered.

  Lucas breathed a huge sigh of relief. He’d tried to talk her out of driving him home, but Red would have had a hard time on the ice. Mary tried to convince him to stay in their extra bedroom, but visions of himself roaming around their house caused him to politely decline the offer.

  “Thank Gott you made it back okay. I wish you hadn’t needed to drive me, but I’m glad you’re staying with Levi and Mary instead of going all the way back to your apartment.”

  It had been a quiet ride to his house. Natalie drove slowly, and Lucas tried to watch for ice. But there was more to their silence, and they both knew it. Sometimes awkward conversations were easier to have over the phone.

  “Yep. No problems getting here, and I’m in the extra bedroom with the propane heater running. Comfy cozy. I could have gone the extra twenty minutes home, but there’s a stretch between Shoals and Montgomery that gets really slick during the winter.”

  “Gut.” Lucas knew he owed Natalie an explanation for the way he jerked away from her earlier, but if he told her the truth, would it make things uncomfortable between them or jeopardize their friendship?

  “Lucas . . .”

  “Ya?” He swallowed hard, assuming Natalie would get right to it.

  “Are we okay? I mean, you and me? I value our friendship. You know that, right? I mean, I feel like I shouldn’t even have to ask, but it just felt weird tonight when—”

  “When I pulled away from you?” He took a deep breath. His next words could affect the future of their relationship, and he wasn’t ready for Natalie to be out of his life. It was bound to happen sooner or later. She’d meet a man who could share her lifestyle. Lucas had already spent time in the outside world during his rumschpringe, and he knew it wasn’t where he wanted to be. The only reason he hadn’t already been baptized was because he wanted to share the experience with the woman he would marry. Eventually he would find an Amish woman to settle down with.

  “Yeah, when you rushed to the fireplace after I tried to help you dry off,” Natalie finally said. “There have been so many times I’ve wanted to give you a hug. You know me, I hug everyone. But I grew up here, and I know the Amish frown on public affection. But it was just Levi and Mary, and I thought I was helping, and . . .”

  Lucas sighed. Apparently, he was going to have to tell her the truth, but hopefully in a way that didn’t scare her off. “It felt gut when you wrapped the towel around me.” He cringed, wishing he’d said something else.

  She was quiet.

  “Are you still there?” A flicker of apprehension coursed through him as he wondered if she’d hung up.

  “Yeah, I’m here.” She laughed softly. “Well, maybe we need to hug sometimes so you don’t get so freaked out by it. There’s nothing wrong with hugging a friend and helping him dry off after getting soaked.”

  If she had any idea how much he’d wanted to kiss her at that moment, she might not think so. But telling her that would surely scare her out of his life. “We just don’t hug much.” He recalled hugging Mary in front of Natalie every Friday night and flinched.

  “Lucas.” She paused, and he pictured her tapping a finger to her chin, the way she did when she was thinking. “I look forward to these phone calls every night. I enjoy our lunches and trips to the library. Let’s not let things get weird, okay? I’ve learned so much from you, and my relationship with God continues to grow. Can’t we just trust Him to guide us?”

  Warmth filled Lucas’s heart. It sounded exactly like something he would say to her. “Ya, we can.”

  He knew himself well enough to know that physical contact of any kind needed to be avoided. He hadn’t expected to have such a strong reaction to her touch, and the strange surge of affection he’d felt had rattled him. Now he was having trouble not thinking about her lips. Kissing her would mess up their friendship—or end it. As a couple, they had nowhe
re to go. He’d stay friends with her until she started dating someone, and then he’d be weaned out of the picture. He’d have no choice but to wish her blessings for a happy life. He’d done what God set him on the path to do—show Natalie the way to Him.

  They settled into a relaxed conversation about the ways God works in everyone’s lives, and for the first time since he’d known Natalie, she was doing most of the talking about the many ways God was showing Himself to her.

  “I hear Him everywhere, Lucas—in my thoughts, in things I read, and sometimes I could swear He was in the room with me.”

  Lucas smiled again.

  “That’s the Holy Spirit, isn’t it?” She talked with a peacefulness and a calm that came over her in the evenings.

  “Ya, I believe it is.”

  They talked a little bit longer about her growing relationship with the Lord, but soon he heard her yawning.

  “Maybe we can meet for lunch in two or three days.” She sighed. “I have to have lunch with my mother tomorrow. I’ll eat while she whines and rants about Dad and his girlfriend.”

  “So, the move to Mississippi didn’t make things any better?” Lucas yawned, too, knowing four thirty would come early. It was well after midnight. Usually their calls wrapped up around nine or ten, but they’d gotten a late start tonight.

  “Nope. The distance has not made the heart grow fonder, nor has it stopped my mother’s exasperation with him. I keep telling her if she would get a job she could refocus her anger into something productive. But she says she isn’t qualified to do anything but be a housewife.”

  Lucas thought about his own mother. If she had to get an outside job, she wasn’t qualified to do anything else either. “Maybe she just needs something to occupy her time, like a hobby or something.”

  Natalie grunted. “She needs to occupy her time with a job so she can support herself.”

  Lucas wasn’t sure how to counsel Natalie about her mother, and it wasn’t his place. The thought sounded ironic since his people weren’t keen on ministry, and he’d spent a lot of time ministering to Natalie about God. He decided to take a shot anyway. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe if you stop giving her money, she’ll have to get a job.”