A Doctor's Dilemma

by Laura Scott

  “It was the best meal ever.” He gently kissed her again, then forced himself to release her. His feelings were rising and swelling in his chest to the point that if he didn’t get out of there fast, he was going to make a fool of himself.

  “I’m sure it wasn’t, but thanks.”

  He told himself to leave. Now. Before he said something that might scare her off, for good.

  Kate pulled herself together with an effort. She thought that riding the merry-go-round with Ethan was enough to make him relax and enjoy himself. But afterward, the emotion swirling in his eyes had been a bit overwhelming.

  Inviting him to her place had been a bad idea. She should’ve known better than to get personally involved with one of her projects. Ethan was learning to smile and laugh. Carly was doing better, too.

  It was clear they didn’t need her anymore. It was time for the two of them to move on. To find someone who would make their family complete.

  Someone other than her. She wasn’t the type of woman men wanted to settle down with. And that was okay, she was sure she’d find a new project.

  She watched as Ethan shrugged into his coat, then walked him to the door. “Thanks for coming.” Her voice sounded falsely cheerful to her own ears.

  “Kate, I’d like to see you again, sometime soon.” His low husky voice reminded her of all the things she couldn’t have. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his embrace, but she crossed her arms over her chest as a way to stop herself from acting like this was more than it was.

  “Okay, sure. It would be fun to get together, maybe with the kids next time. Say hi to Carly for me.”

  “Kate, please—” He raked a hand through his hair as if struggling internally with something. “I don’t want to rush you, and I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but you need to understand how much I care about you. In fact . . .” His voice trailed off for a long moment before he added in a rush, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

  Whoa. Wait. Love? Had she heard him correctly? No, it couldn’t be.

  Men didn’t fall in love with her. They moved on to other relationships.

  Ethan couldn’t possibly love her. Could he?

  The abrupt jangle of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She was tempted to ignore it, but then realized with a sinking sensation that the ring tone was the one she used specifically for her grandfather.

  “Excuse me, I need to get that.” She turned away from Ethan and picked up her cell phone. “Hello? Granddad, is that you?”

  “Kate?” Her granddad’s familiar voice flowed over the line, although it was soft and faint. “Do you have time to come over?”

  “Of course, but why?” His tone sounded off, and all her senses when on full alert. “What’s wrong?”

  “I—don’t know.” Granddad’s voice faded, and she strained to hear him. “I think I need help, Katie girl—” The sharp clatter of the phone hitting the floor on the other end of the line pierced her ear.

  “Granddad!” she shouted. “Granddad, can you hear me?”

  “Kate, what’s wrong?” Ethan immediately crossed over to her, taking the phone from her limp fingers.

  “Granddad needs me. He’s sick.” Her emotions were in a turmoil. She tore herself away from Ethan, rushing over to grab her coat. What on earth had happened? A heart attack or stroke? What were his symptoms? Had he blacked out? His heart. Oh, no. What if it was his heart?

  She turned to find Ethan on the phone. He caught her gaze and lifted a hand. “Just a moment, I’ll get someone who has the address.” He handed her the phone. “I called nine-one-one, but they need your granddad’s address. You talk while I drive.”

  Kate didn’t argue but gratefully accepted his help. She gave the address of her granddad’s house to the nine-one-one operator, then gave Ethan directions on how to get there. Once the dispatcher had sent an ambulance to her granddad’s, there was nothing more she could do but sit back and pray.

  Please, God, don’t take my granddad. Not yet. Please? I need him so much!

  Chapter Twelve

  Kate stared blindly out the window at the blur of scenery flashing by. Helplessly, she clutched her fingers into fists, wishing Reese or Nate could swoop down in the Lifeline chopper, pick them up, and fly them to her granddad.

  Ethan pulled into the driveway about the same time the wail of a siren could be heard growing louder as the ambulance approached. He’d barely stopped the car when she opened the door and jumped out.

  “Granddad!” Thankfully, the front door was unlocked, and she barreled through, her gaze searching for her grandfather. “Where are you? Granddad?”

  The living room was empty, so she dashed into the kitchen to find him slumped over the kitchen table, his cell phone lying on the floor at his feet.

  “Oh, no! No!” She thrust her arms beneath his and lifted his seemingly frail body up and off the chair, setting him gently to the floor so she could examine him properly. As she aligned his airway, she felt Ethan come up behind her. “I don’t think he’s breathing.”

  “The paramedics are here; they’ll have all the equipment we need.” Ethan’s steady, take-charge tone helped remind her of the times they’d flown together and had cared for patients together. “Let’s start CPR.”

  She’d already given Granddad two breaths and was feeling for a pulse. She couldn’t feel anything, but she didn’t trust yourself either. Her own heart was racing so fast it was difficult to concentrate. Ethan knelt across from her, placing his fingers on her granddad’s carotid artery.

  “No pulse,” he said. “I’m starting chest compressions.”

  Kate heard him begin to count just as there was the clatter of footsteps running into the house. Two paramedics entered the kitchen, shoving the kitchen table out of the way so they could get better access to Granddad.

  “Here.” One of them handed her an Ambu bag and oxygen mask. “Use this while we get him hooked up to the monitor.”

  With trembling fingers, Kate fit the apparatus over her granddad’s nose and mouth, then waited as Ethan counted his compressions. When he reached fifteen, she gave her grandfather two big breaths.

  “He’s in V-tach. We need to shock him. All clear!”

  Kate let go of the Ambu bag, knowing that if she didn’t, electrical shock could transmit through the material to her. The second paramedic had just finished placing an intraosseous IV in Granddad’s femur, hooking up the IV tubing before letting go.

  “Shock him three times, then give him a loading dose of amiodarone,” Ethan directed.

  The paramedics did exactly as he told them. She bit her lip hard when that jolt of electricity jerked through her granddad’s seemingly frail frame. She felt every one of the shocks as if the defib pads were pressed to her own chest. On the third shock, his heart rhythm finally converted.

  “He’s in first-degree heart block with PVCs,” the first paramedic stated. “Hooking up the loading dose of amiodarone now.”

  “Does he have history of heart problems?” one paramedic wanted to know as the other began to insert a breathing tube.

  Kate averted her gaze, swallowing hard. It was more difficult than she’d ever imagined watching Granddad being treated like a patient. She forced the words past her tight throat. “Yes. Three years ago, he suffered a mild heart attack. They placed a stent in one of his coronary arteries. I think it was the right descending artery.”

  “Surgery?” Ethan asked.

  “No, he didn’t need surgery.” Not then. But somehow she feared he’d need it now.

  If he survived long enough.

  “Blood pressure is better, ninety-six over forty.” The paramedic glanced at her. “We’ll need to transport him to the hospital ASAP.”

  “Will you please take him to Trinity Medical Center,” Kate begged. ”I used to work in the ICU there and that’s where Granddad’s doctor is.”

  “Will do.” The paramedics didn’t need her assistance. Helplessly, she watched as t
hey quickly transferred Granddad to the gurney and wheeled him outside.

  “I’ll drive you to the hospital, Kate.” Ethan followed her out, putting a hand on her arm.

  “No, I want to ride in the ambulance with him.” She turned to the paramedics, who exchanged a long glance. “I’m a nurse. I promise I won’t be in the way.”

  “Kate, let me drive you.” Ethan’s hand tightened on her arm.

  Ignoring him, she wrenched from his grip and pinned the paramedic with a hopeful look. “Please?”

  “Sure, you can ride along.” When the paramedic granted his permission, Kate didn’t waste a second giving him a chance to change his mind. She jumped in the back of the ambulance behind Granddad.

  Just before the doors closed, she caught a glimpse of the hurt expression on Ethan’s face. Because she’d pulled away from him after he’d said something about falling in love with her? Honestly, she didn’t really believe him. Ethan must know that his daughter needed to be his top priority.

  As soon as Ethan faded from sight, she turned her attention to her granddad. Watching and praying he’d be okay.

  When they reached Trinity Medical Center, Kate couldn’t follow him all the way into the trauma room. She watched as the paramedics discussed his care with the emergency department physician, who had already called in the cardiology team.

  Kate waited in the lounge because they took her grandfather directly to the cardiac cath lab. They had her granddad in there for almost half an hour before someone came out to talk to her.

  “Kate Lawrence?” She nodded and jumped to her feet when the resident approached. “Your grandfather has three completely blocked arteries, the original one that was stented three years ago, along with two more. He is on his way to the operating room for a three-vessel bypass.”

  “Three vessels.” Kate’s knees gave way, and she collapsed down onto the chair. “Open heart surgery.”

  “He’ll be fine, he’s holding his own at the moment.” The resident awkwardly patted her shoulder. “If you want to head over to the operating room waiting area, the surgeon, Dr. Elliott, will come out to talk to you when the procedure is over.”

  There wasn’t any place else to go, so she followed the resident’s suggestion. The waiting area was a large room with sections portioned off for privacy. A few other people were already there, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk, so she found a private corner and sat down.

  Open heart surgery. The words echoed over and over in her mind. She scrubbed her hands over her eyes. As a student nurse, she watched an open heart case, fascinated by the entire process—the way they were able to bypass the heart in order to operate on it, the detailed work the surgeons did, grafting the arteries.

  She slammed her eyes shut. Her memory was far too good. She didn’t want to imagine Granddad lying on the cold, hard OR table with his chest open and some surgeon cutting into his heart. She didn’t want to think about the myriad things that could go wrong. She knew all too well that complications happened during scheduled open heart cases. Clinically, she knew an emergency procedure held more risk.

  How many emergency heart cases actually survived? She had no idea.

  Her parents. Kate pulled herself upright and dug out her cell phone. She needed to call, to let them know what happened. Where were they exactly? She stared blankly at the phone realizing she had no clue. She hadn’t memorized their European cruise itinerary. Helplessly, she dropped the phone back in her purse. Maybe she’d wait until he was out of surgery, then she’d be able to share good news on how well he was doing.

  The alternative was too painful to contemplate.

  When she grew tired of sitting, she stood and paced. Horrible coffee from the nearby vending machine was her only choice, but she downed a few cups anyway until every nerve in her body jittered so badly it was a wonder she didn’t leap out of her skin.

  The hands on the clock moved in slow motion. She stared at the time, trying to think back. They’d gotten to the hospital with Granddad around 9:15 at night. Then he’d gone to the operating room around ten.

  It was only 10:40 now. Granddad wouldn’t be out of surgery for another two to three hours.

  Maybe longer if things didn’t go smoothly.

  Feeling completely alone, she plopped back into a chair and cradled her head in her hands. She knew Ethan probably would’ve stayed with her, at least for a short while. How long had he arranged to have the babysitter stay with Carly? She had no idea.

  The wounded expression in his eyes when she’d left him outside Granddad’s house haunted her. It must have felt like a slap in the face after he’d confessed falling in love. Why had she left him there? Why couldn’t she accept his willingness to help?

  Was he really falling in love? With her?

  Panic seized her by the throat. No, he couldn’t have developed feelings for her already. Theirs was a temporary relationship. Two friends, out to have fun.

  Until she’d blown it by kissing him. She crossed the line of friendship and didn’t know what to do. Her throat closed, and tears welled in her eyes.

  What was wrong with her?

  “Kate?”

  She lifted her head and opened her eyes, sniffing inelegantly. She blinked away the tears because she thought it was Ethan standing in front of her. Except he had to be home with Carly, who had school in the morning.

  But the blurred version of Ethan sat beside her, using his thumb to brush away a single tear. “Hey, don’t cry. Your granddad’s going to be fine. Dr. Elliott is a great cardiothoracic surgeon. You couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

  “I know.” She sniffled again and glanced around in confusion. “Ethan, what are you doing here? Where’s Carly?”

  “I made arrangements for her to stay at a friend’s house overnight—that’s what took me so long.” He offered a lopsided smile. “We had everything packed, were practically out the door, when she insisted we go back because she wouldn’t leave without your dream catcher. She’s very impressed with how well it’s been working.”

  Uncharacteristically, fresh tears threatened. What was with the waterworks? Kate was forced to admit she was an emotional train wreck. “That’s so sweet.”

  “Yeah, Carly really likes you.”

  She’d meant the fact that he’d gone to such lengths to be there with her at a time when she needed him the most, but she couldn’t find the words to tell him.

  “Kate—” Ethan drew her name out in a sigh. “Don’t cry. I don’t have any tissues.”

  “I do.” She dug one out of her purse and blew her nose. She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “You’re worried about your grandfather, that’s what’s wrong with you.” He reached over and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. “I understand.”

  “Why are you being so nice to me?” Kate simply couldn’t comprehend his actions, not after she’d left him so abruptly. Not only had he come back, but he made arrangements for Carly to spend the night at a friend’s house, just so he could be with her as long as she needed him.

  His expression softened. “You know why, but this isn’t the time to get into a heavy discussion about our future. So, what else can we talk about? Hmmm.” He pretended to think. “Hey, maybe you should give Jared a call. I’m not so sure you’re going to be in any condition to work tomorrow.”

  “Neither are you if you stay here with me. Granddad could be in surgery for hours yet.” Kate had considered calling Lifeline earlier but had given up the idea. “I can’t call off for tomorrow, we’re short staffed enough as it is. Besides, once Granddad is out of surgery and in the intensive care unit, there isn’t anything else I can do for him. I can come and visit once I’m off work.”

  Ethan remained silent for a few minutes. “I’m not leaving you here alone, so if you’re going to work tomorrow, then so am I. Maybe we’ll have a slow day. We can hope for fog, or a whopping snowstorm.”

  She gave
a weak laugh. “How about a tornado? Although, April is a little early for tornado season.”

  “Yup, and Wisconsin is too far inland for a hurricane.”

  His dry response almost made her smile. “Oh, Ethan.” Kate leaned into him, dropping her head onto his strong shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll always be here for you, Kate.”

  She didn’t know what to say to that, so she fell silent. Amazing how much easier it was to sit patiently in the waiting room with Ethan’s arm around her. Listening to the strong, resonant beat of his heart beneath her ear, she knew he’d meant what he’d said.

  He would be there for her as long as she needed him. But she wasn’t good in long-term relationships. The one and only guy she’d loved had taken his own life rather than talk to her.

  She squeezed her eyes tight and shunted those thoughts down another path. Like she’d told Ethan, they couldn’t change the past, but she could focus on the future. Granddad would need her more than ever once he made it through surgery.

  She’d be there for him the way he’d been there for her.

  “Kate?” Ethan gently stroked her cheek. “The surgeon is here to talk to you.”

  “Huh?” Blinking owlishly, she lifted her head, wincing at the crick in her neck. She must’ve dozed. “I’m awake.”

  “Ms. Lawrence?” Dr. Elliott took her hand in his. “Anthony Lawrence has been transferred to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. You will be allowed to visit once the nurse gets him settled.”

  “How is he? How did the surgery go? Any complications?”

  “He’s fine. Overall, surgery went well, although I did have some trouble controlling his blood pressure. I still have him on vasopressors.”

  Kate nodded, knowing vasopressors post heart surgery weren’t uncommon. Frankly, his condition could be much worse. “He’s not bleeding or anything?”

  “Not that I’m aware of.” Dr. Elliott’s expression was wry. “Don’t worry, I plan to head back inside to check him over before I head home.”