Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  She looked over and saw two little girls staring out the window and their mum anxiously glancing.

  Suri pushed open the door and got out, seeing her mother’s relieved face.

  Walking slowly, and letting the snow fall on her, she was about to go in but turned and went around the church. She took one of her white roses and threw it where Rory died.

  ‘I know you’re here, with the baby,’ she whispered. ‘Watch over me.’

  Her busker was in his usual place, this time he waved and she waved back.

  It was a good sign, considering how wrong the build-up had been so far.

  Then she went in, knowing Jack was watching her from the corridor then he rushed away. Suri walked in, pulling the snowflakes out of her hair.

  ‘Hello, I’m Sarah, Joe’s sister,’ the woman said smiling at Suri and grabbing her hand. She looked like a female version of Joe. ‘It has been all go, hasn’t it? Are you okay?’ Suri nodded. ‘I know what it’s like. I nearly bought a one-way ticket to the Amazon when I was about to go down the aisle.’

  ‘There’s been a bit of a confusion,’ Suri said, forcing a smile. ‘I’m sorry for the delay.’ Then she looked down. ‘Who do we have here?’

  ‘Now here is Abbie, who is five and Maddie, who is three. Say hello.’ Sarah smiled proudly at her two little daughters. ‘Don’t be shy. You’ve been talking about Suri all morning.’

  ‘You the princess,’ Maddie said, smiling brightly. She was an exceptionally pretty child. ‘You live under the table.’

  ‘I do,’ Suri replied, starting to laugh. ‘And thank you for not telling anyone.’

  ‘What a carry on!’ said Naomi, rushing out of the toilets and walking towards her hand bag. She sat Suri down and took some things out, dabbing her eyes with powder. ‘Looks fine. You should have worn a veil.’

  Suri didn’t want to speak as she was feeling a little confused.

  ‘Are we ready?’ the pianist, Mrs Howe, asked before smiling at Suri. ‘You look beautiful.’

  ‘We are sure ready to go!’ said Naomi, smiling at Suri and kissing her gently on the cheek. ‘Let’s rock and roll!’

  There was a nod, and she heard the music.

  Elvis Presley’s ‘Falling in Love’ being sung by the choir and a man, who wasn’t Joe.

  ‘Are you feeling all right? Do you want to go to the loo?’ her mother asked then smiled. ‘When are you making me a grandmother?’

  ‘Let’s see if you get a son in law first,’ Suri mumbled and stood up straight. ‘Joe was very rude to the driver down the phone.’

  ‘I know,’ she replied, squeezing her hand. ‘But he wants to marry you. Do you want to marry him? Is that what the problem is?’

  ‘I’m not a Vicar’s wife. How can he love me?’

  ‘Love is love. It’s as simple as that.’

  Suri was the guided by her mother as they walked down the aisle. To her amazement, people were smiling. There were only thirty in church.

  And then he turned, all kitted out in a suit and looked at her.

  Joe didn’t look angry or happy. He stared in what could only be described as amazement.

  ‘Is he shocked to see me?’ she whispered to her mother.

  ‘Relieved,’ her mum whispered. ‘When’s the baby due?’

  ‘June.’

  Her mother accidentally tripped before her mouth dropped open. Suri steadied her mother knowing it wasn’t the best time to break the news.

  ‘June?’ her mother whispered. ‘That means-.’

  ‘Later.’

  All Suri focussed on was looking at the people around her, half of them she had no idea who they were. Then she saw Edgar smiling brightly and a few of her friends. The family was huddled together, already crying and the wedding hadn’t even begun.

  Then their eyes met as she stopped at the front. He leaned closer to her and whispered,

  ‘I love you.’ He kissed her on the lips. ‘More than you will ever realise, which is becoming blatantly obvious as you seem to get twitchy and scare very easily.’

  ‘Marry me Joe Isley,’ she whispered, stroking his face. ‘Because I love you too much, that’s why I get scared.’

  Jack cleared his throat as Suri started to grin.

  ‘Now let us begin,’ Jack said loudly before bending down to mumble. ‘And God help you Joe, and the church, for what you’re about to do today. Suri Thomas of all people!’

  ‘Kiss me, again.’

  They were lying on a beach in Tenerife. It had been a wedding present from Edgar that Suri had no idea about. Her husband was now trying to get amorous by massaging her bottom. ‘Come on Suri, it’s been an hour.’

  She turned over and looked up at him smiling brightly at her.

  ‘Sing me ‘Overjoyed’ again and we’ll snog until your lips crack,’ Suri replied letting out a loud sigh.

  ‘Aren’t you sick of it?’

  ‘You sang it on my wedding day.’

  ‘Kiss me first.’

  Leaning over, she placed a gently kiss on his lips as he decided to massage her thigh. Carefully, she removed his hand and placed it by his side, knowing his public displays of affection would get unwanted attention.

  ‘We have to email Edgar and tell him thanks for this wonderful surprise. I can’t believe he paid for everything. And we’re half way through and have got five more days. I’m so happy,’ she sighed, while Joe’s eyes were travelling down to her breasts, once again. ‘Look into my eyes.’ He leaned forward and kissed her exposed tummy, which was getting nice and round. ‘Eighteen weeks pregnant and it’s a little large, don’t you think?’

  Joe sat up, and she could see he tanned very well. His skin had a golden glow, and he looked very relaxed. It was Suri who was pouncing on him, non-stop. She decided not to try it on that morning, to give the poor man a rest.

  The wedding turned out to be wonderful, and she met his family and friends, as he did hers. It was romantic, full of Stevie Wonder songs, and the tension of what had happened earlier on had been forgotten about.

  Or so she thought.

  ‘You know, your mother nearly clobbered me with her handbag on the day of the wedding, did I tell you?’ he said, looking at the sea.

  ‘She didn’t say.’ Suri knew he was thinking hard, due to his frown lines. ‘Why did she do that?’

  ‘Accused me of getting you pregnant then doing a runner. I told her; it wasn’t me who had gone off joy riding with the chauffeur.’

  ‘Oh Joe!’ she sighed, sitting up and trying not to fall off the lounger. ‘Let’s forget about it.’

  ‘I was never going to stand you up. Why can’t you believe me?’ As he turned to look at her, she could see it had obviously been troubling him. ‘I was so worried a week before the wedding that you’d change your mind, call it all off. When we did the rehearsals, I noticed how scared you looked.’

  ‘Only because I wanted to make it perfect for you.’ She kissed his shoulder. ‘I have deep rooted mental problems and maybe a slight commitment phobia.’ He laughed. ‘But I was worried you’d change your mind and … we got married, and I’m very happy.’

  She kissed his cheek, and they both stared at the scenery. Then he started to laugh.

  ‘Suri Thomas-Isley. STI. That’s very funny,’ he said, glancing at her. ‘I don’t think people will get the joke but I’m happy if that’s what you want to call yourself. No wonder you didn’t want to discuss the name change before the wedding. And here was me thinking that you didn’t want to get married, and it was all down to the fact you weren’t happy about your initials.’

  ‘Yes, I’m shallow,’ she said, lying back down and trying not to laugh. ‘You’re all saintly so something has got to give.’

  ‘And I know you threw a rose where Rory lay dying,’ he blurted out. ‘I think that was a wonderful and beautiful gesture, which made me realise I need to assist you in getting the memorial plaque. It doesn’t matter what happened; he deserves to be remembered because he loved you, like I love yo
u. And you loved him.’

  ‘I’m going to cry.’ Suri sat up again and put her hand over her mouth. ‘You say the most wonderful things when I least expect it.’

  ‘That’s because I feel bad.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Now don’t get upset, not in your state,’ he said, grimacing. ‘I was pretty torn on what to do.’ Suri watched him wring his hands. It sort of looked like he was praying. ‘When they did the vote for the plaque, in memory of Rory, I abstained.’ Joe shut his eyes, as if waiting for her to go ballistic. ‘And I didn’t tell you.’

  ‘Why?’ she calmly asked, moving forward. ‘I thought you’d support me.’

  ‘I love you, I’d do anything you wanted but…’ Joe slowly opened one eye and looked at her. ‘I’m a bit jealous.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Your love for another man and the need to have something to remember him by,’ he said, looking devastated at the admission. ‘I wanted you to forget about him and just think about me. I’m sorry. I’ll make good when we go back.’

  She rested her head in her hands and looked at the fallen angel.

  ‘That’s not very nice,’ she whispered, wanting to laugh at his childlike expression. ‘And I thought you were a good man.’

  ‘Did you love him more than you love me?’ Joe bit his lip anxiously. ‘I don’t mind, you can tell me.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone as much as I love you.’ Then she stroked his hair. ‘You shouldn’t be jealous. He’s dead, and you’re not, but come back to the room and I’ll start on your heart attack.’

  ‘Nine days late.’

  She smiled at Edgar while stood in his office. ‘And now I’m thirty-four years old. Thank you for the wedding gift. It was overly generous and much appreciated. Here.’ Suri handed him an expensive bottle of cognac. ‘As a gesture in appreciation for your kindness.’

  ‘I could hug you right now but I’d probably be accused of sexual harassment,’ he laughed from behind his desk. ‘You look well.’

  Sitting down in a chair opposite, she looked at Edgar and had rehearsed what she wanted to say.

  ‘Go on Suri, I can see you’ve prepared something.’

  ‘Edgar, Mr Peters,’ she began which made him snigger. ‘I don’t want to lose my job but I don’t like it. I’ve been given the-.’

  ‘Ted told me what you said about work,’ he said, raising his eyebrows. ‘You ran into him not so long ago. Does he know you got married?’

  ‘You told him I got engaged,’ she frowned, being put off her trail of thought. ‘Didn’t you tell him I got married?’

  ‘I don’t want to get any more involved in this than I have to, but I had a long chat with him. He seems genuinely upset that you’ve moved on with someone else.’ Edgar frowned. ‘You need to tell him how your life has changed.’

  ‘What did he tell you?’

  ‘I think Ted’s going through a mid-life crisis; the thing is, I think he has been going through it all his life. He wants what he can’t have and doesn’t want what he’s got.’ He sat back in his chair. ‘The man is exceptionally good at his job, when he’s focussed. Right now, he’s not.’

  ‘That’s not my fault. Why didn’t you tell me Ted dropped the grievance?’ she asked quietly. ‘I could have come back in.’

  ‘A few things have happened and I thought it was best you stay away. I never doubted you. Why didn’t you tell me Denise and Leila were involved? I don’t understand. Ted eventually told me the truth about what she did to him.’

  Suri’s mouth dropped open, and she didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Did he confess?’

  ‘Not exactly,’ he said, looking coyly away. ‘I heard something before confronting him.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Sometimes, you should tell people what happened. Other than thinking you can protect and solve things on your own,’ he said, looking gravely at the ground before smiling up at her. Suri knew it was a dig about Felicity. ‘But that’s not my concern, right now.’

  ‘You want me to tell him I’m married.’

  ‘Don’t you think you should?’

  ‘Why are you feeling sorry for him?’

  ‘I know what it’s like to be at a cross roads in your life. The kids have grown up, and you’re not sure where you fit in.’

  ‘Is that why you left Janet Peters?’

  ‘I wish you’d stop calling her ‘Janet Peters’ as if it’s some glaring insult,’ he said, shaking his head solemnly. ‘She’s not that bad.’

  ‘She’s not that good.’

  ‘I’m digressing so let’s stick to why you’re here,’ he continued, clearing his throat. ‘I take it writing for an adult channel isn’t a good thing for a Vicar’s wife?’

  ‘It’s making me feel sick.’

  ‘You’re a prude.’

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  Edgar’s face was a picture as he stood up and walked around the table, taking a chair and sitting down.

  ‘Suri, that’s wonderful,’ he said, grabbing her hand tightly and placing a large kiss on her cheek. ‘When’s the baby due?’

  ‘It’s been a bit of a shock because we think the conception was done on the night of your wedding, so you’re to blame for this.’

  ‘Of course I am,’ he said delightedly. ‘Serenading your boyfriend at my wedding when you looked like an innocent angel might have helped.’

  ‘I’m nineteen weeks pregnant, and the due date is 23rd June. I’m not showing too much, but winter jumpers are helping.’

  Then he sat back in his chair, the smile wiped from his face.

  ‘You’ll be going on maternity leave in May?’ Edgar then started to laugh. ‘Why do I employ you again?’

  ‘Because I’m very thorough when checking script and exceptionally good at clearing up the mess Denise leaves.’

  ‘You don’t want to come back, do you?’

  ‘You’ve been very generous to me, and I want to return, as we’ll need the money. A Vicar’s salary is pretty poor even compared to your cleaner’s standards.’ She let out a little laugh. ‘I’ll work as long as I possibly can and I’d get statutory maternity pay. I don’t expect anything. I just want to write and check scripts, even with Denise as my boss.’

  ‘No plan to come back to take on the world?’

  ‘You have met the ladies of the church, haven’t you? That’s hard enough to deal with.’

  ‘You’ll have to go back and work for Denise, you do know that?’

  ‘I know but I’m doing my hours, like all the others and no big favours for anyone, especially her. I have a husband to look after and his merry flock of evil women.’

  ‘Janet’s not so happy about the wedding and your influence on young Reverend Isley. She was saying that some of the others want to make sure your involvement in the church is as little as possible.’

  ‘I’m not getting involved. Annabel doesn’t get involved in your work so I’m certainly keeping out of Joe’s.’ Then she sighed and looked at him. ‘Who’d have thought we’d get married, aye?’

  ‘I was married to a lovely woman once before,’ he said as Suri grimaced. ‘She’s still very nice but bitter.’

  ‘She fancied Joe that’s why she’s got the arse with me.’

  ‘She wished she saw her daughter get married, like I would have done,’ Edgar said quietly. ‘They’re planning Felicity’s plaque service on Valentine’s Day, did you know?’

  ‘My husband omitted to tell me.’ She was seething silently inside and didn’t want Edgar to see. ‘Obviously there will be a service.’

  ‘Will you come?’

  Edgar was staring at her, and she knew ‘yes’ was the desired response, so thought hard.

  ‘It’s a family thing, and Janet Peters would hate the idea of me being there, considering she blames me for Felicity’s death. I shall give my regards, alone.’

  ‘What will you say?’

  ‘That’s between your daughter and me,’ came her
diplomatic reply.

  ‘I don’t have to do porn anymore!’

  She shouted it out when walking into Jack’s house. ‘My days of people fiddling with themselves over my words of love are over.’

  Then she flung open the door to Jack’s office and stood dead in her tracks.

  There was a large woman sat at the table with Jack and Joe. She noticed her husband shook his head, before looking down.

  ‘Oh, sorry!’ she quickly said. ‘Wrong house!’

  Shutting the door quickly, she rushed down the corridor, feeling her face go bright red.

  ‘Suri,’ she heard Joe call, stepping out of the room.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Suri whispered. ‘Tell the woman I’m a mad person who likes to enter people’s houses. He should lock the door.’

  ‘Come in and meet her. She’s a Commissioner.’

  ‘What? Police?’

  ‘The people who guide us on practical things about the church like money,’ he said starting to smile. ‘What an entrance!’

  ‘Does she think I’m a porn star?’ she said, apprehensively going towards him. ‘They might sack you.’

  He grabbed her hand and walked her back into the room. Suri stood there and smiled at the woman sitting at the table.

  ‘So you do porn?’ the lady asked, in her early fifties with a twinkle in his eye. ‘How invigorating! Someone has to do it!’ She laughed, her extremely shiny brown bob bouncing off the light. ‘Can’t knock what we don’t know.’

  ‘This is Suri,’ said Jack, shaking his head from side to side. ‘I’ve known her since the day she was born and the poor thing has a way of putting her foot in it.’

  ‘As long as it’s just her foot!’ the woman roared with laughter.

  ‘I’d like to introduce you to my wife,’ Joe said, looking down at her and smiling. ‘She writes continuity, like I said, for a large television company.’

  ‘I’m Connie,’ the woman said, coming towards her and giving a large hug. ‘Many congratulations!’

  ‘Don’t I call you something like your holiness?’ Suri sincerely asked and was met with a laugh from Jack.

  ‘I think we can manage first names, don’t you think?’ Connie replied turning to Jack. ‘This calls for a celebration.’