by Dean, Ali
At least I can be real with Beck about all of it, and he’s being so damn cool, not rolling his eyes at what a baby I’m being.
I kind of love him for it.
Beck
Jordan puts her phone down after an hour and straddles me. Yeah, she swings a leg over my lap, sits facing me, and just like that, I’m in heaven. The girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. I love that about her. It’s true with skateboarding too. She somehow decided she wanted this Brazen thing after all, and even though it comes with baggage that really isn’t her jam, she’s going for it.
Every time she lets me touch her I feel like the luckiest guy on earth. She’s responsive as hell, unabashedly so, and it makes me go insane. That’s why I don’t let my hands roam under her clothes today and I make us stop and go to the library.
I know Griff was right in some ways – I gotta stop overthinking with this girl and go with the flow like I usually do. But I’m also well aware I’m almost eight years older and a hell of a lot more experienced. Kind of ironic I’m the one barely holding on to my control, but I’m trying real hard here.
“Always trying to do the right thing,” Jordan sing-songs as we put on our backpacks.
“Not always,” I defend myself, slapping her ass when she bends down to tie her shoe.
I’m still thinking about her ass as we skateboard across the quad. “Hey, Griff told me he wants to get you into the Oregon Cup.” It would mean staying in a hotel, and I want to be the one who goes with her. Except, dammit, I’m barely keeping my head above water with my course load.
“Yeah, you think it’s worth going? I kind of wanted to stick to local stuff for a while.”
“That’s the only big one on the west coast this month.”
“I know. I might not be real plugged into the rest of the skateboarding scene, like reality TV and relationships, but I do follow the competitions a bit.”
She doesn’t sound snarky about it as she says this, simply informing me that she’s not completely in the dark. After all, she knew who I was when we met, so I’m already aware she must follow some skateboarding news.
“You don’t want to go?”
Jordan swings her gaze to me, gripping the straps of her backpack. “No, I do.” I’m not expecting the determination I hear there and it’s a relief. She wants to compete. She hasn’t come out and said it since she won on Saturday, but she’s figured it out. Jordan’s a competitor. I thought so from the minute I spotted her riding for the first time, or I wouldn’t have encouraged her to sign with Brazen in the first place.
“Are you worried you’ll have to miss classes to travel up there?” Something’s up, but I don’t know what.
“No, it’s not that.”
We skate in silence along the sidewalk and I wait for her to clue me in instead of continuing to guess at her hang-up. We’re outside the library, picking up our boards to walk up the stairs, when she asks, “Would you come with me? To Oregon?”
I stop and lean back against the railing, taking her in. She looks down at her feet, then back up and darts her gaze across the quad. This is the first time I have ever seen Jordan Slattery willingly show me vulnerability. I’ve seen her uncertain, when she was contemplating dropping into Riptide’s half pipe. I’ve heard her asking me to touch her, but even then she was the one being brave, taking charge, determined. She’s always like that. Right now is different. How can I say no?
“I shouldn’t, Jordan. The media is going to be huge there, and you know I won’t be able to keep a low profile. Everyone will wonder what I’m doing there when I’ve announced a hiatus.” I say this, but I’m already coming up with a strategy for how I can make it happen.
Jordan glances at the library. “Yeah, I get it.”
I almost reach out to grab her hand before remembering I can’t do that. “Hey, I’ll go. We can spin it as promo for Brazen. That part’s true anyway. Maybe I can get Griffin to do an early exclusive launch of a single product. A hoodie or some shit I can wear around and give people codes to purchase.”
Jordan finally makes eye contact with me. “Really? You’d seriously fly to Oregon for a couple days for that?”
“No, I’d fly to Oregon for a couple days for you. Because you asked me to.”
Jordan’s eyes drop to her feet but only for a second before they’re on me, and what I see in them makes it so damn hard not to touch her. She whispers a confession. “I really want to kiss you right now. What would you call that? A thank-you kiss?”
“Yeah,” I get out. “But it will have to be a frustrated non-kiss instead. Should we go inside and do some work or what?” I’m already wondering why I thought the library would be a good idea as I’m back to thinking about her ass as I walk up the steps behind her, staring at it. I mean, the library’s got alcoves and study rooms, and tons of great places to hide away. Hopefully she’s got more willpower than I do.
Chapter Seven
Jordan
“I swear I’m not avoiding him,” I tell Lucy.
She purses her lips. “But it’s Saturday night. You always skateboard on Saturday nights.”
“Not always. Remember last weekend?”
“That’s because you were at a competition all day and we made you promise to hang out afterward since you wouldn’t let us watch.”
“Yeah, well, I also promised Zora I’d try surfing. You guys are so high maintenance.”
“I won’t argue with that. It’s true. But you’re avoiding Beck.” She points a finger at me as she unlocks our dorm door.
We just finished my last shift at Happy Beans. Zora’s now got a Honda Pilot, the same one she drove in high school. Her brother inherited it when she went to college but he got grounded through the end of the year apparently, so it’s Zora’s again. She’s pumped to drive to a beach a little farther away tonight.
“We have to change and hit the road right away if we want to catch some good waves,” Lucy explains as she starts stripping the minute we’re in our room.
Relieved she’s dropping the Beck issue, I start changing into my swimsuit. “It’s just going to be us, right?” I confirm.
“About that,” Lucy says. “Coby texted me while we were working. He wants to come.”
“Does that mean Davis might be there too?”
“It might. Maybe not. But yeah, if Davis shows up and you’ve ditched Beck? No one wants another situation like last Saturday, you know?” She says it gently, but I get it. Every time I try to party with these girls, Beck shows up and creates drama. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. It’s happened twice, and the first time wasn’t exactly drama, in fact it turned into an awesome night at a roller skating rink. It even led to the girls meeting this surfing crew in the first place. And last Saturday at the beach party, well, it was a little bit of drama.
“Beck wouldn’t show up unannounced again. Especially since it’s nearly an hour away, right?”
Lucy tilts her head. “He would show, Jordan. And I don’t even blame him. But hey, at least you’re wearing a granny suit, not a string bikini like the rest of us.” She smirks at the suit I’ve changed into.
I glance down. “It’s not a granny suit.” It’s a basic one-piece. No plunging line through my cleavage or high cut for my ass cheeks to hang out, just a normal, practical suit.
“Well, I’m psyched you’re coming with us. But I still think you should invite Beck too.”
“Just because he’s my boyfriend now doesn’t mean I have to invite him everywhere I go.” It better not mean that. “Can’t I hang out with people without him?” I’m starting to get a little worked up. Partly because her point about Beck might be true, but I also want to tell myself I’m just trying to maintain some independence here.
“No. You’re right about that. You shouldn’t have to invite him everywhere you go. Maybe I’m being stupid.” She shrugs. There’s a text from Zora saying she’s waiting outside, and we grab towels before heading to meet her.
I told Beck I wa
s going surfing with the girls tonight and he didn’t question it. Why would he? He was there when I promised Zora I’d try it, he knows I’m not coming up with some excuse to ditch out on our usual plans. Yeah sure it’s weird we’ve seen less of each other in the one week since we started dating than we did before, but it is what it is.
We blast the music on the way there, and I’m amazed when we pull into the parking lot of an empty beach. “Where is everybody?” I wonder.
“You mean Coby and whoever he’s coming with?” Lucy asks.
“No, I just mean anyone. Even first thing in the morning the beach is never deserted.”
Ellie stands on the side of the car and drops a board down to me. “That’s why we drove so far. This is one of the only places off the radar.”
Zora lifts her board over her head. “Well, that and technically this is a private beach. But we know a kid from high school whose parents know the people who own it. They’re real estate developers and they haven’t done anything with it yet so it’s just sitting here.”
“Crazy.”
“Yeah, so until someone kicks us out, we keep coming back.”
I realize it’s not exactly a parking lot we’re in, more like the end of the road that peters out before hitting the sand. I didn’t know places like this still existed in southern California.
It turns out surfing is really hard. The girls warned me I wouldn’t actually be surfing the first time, and I get it. I have to practice standing on the board, sitting on the board, and paddling. Oh man, paddling on a board is seriously hard work and I’m exhausted before I even try to catch a wave for the first time. Zora tries to help by pushing me along to catch waves, and I almost stand up before losing my footing and getting water up my nose.
When I first looked out at the waves they seemed kind of small. But when I’m actually in them, trying to catch one, they seem enormous.
I’m determined to really ride a wave before the day is out. “Are the waves getting bigger?” I call to Zora.
“Yeah, a little.”
I look around and spot Coby along with a few others, including Davis, standing with their boards on the shore. We’re a ways off now, having followed the waves a few hundred meters.
I’m toast, and as much as I don’t want to give up on catching a wave and fully standing up on the board, I need a break.
Zora follows me in. I’m borrowing Ellie’s board and Lucy’s already gone in. They’ve set up chairs and a cooler and as my stomach growls, I hope someone brought food. I didn’t really plan ahead of time and I’m starving. Zora goes straight for the drinks, pops open a can of hard seltzer, and starts chugging it like water. Not that I was going to drink anyway, but I’m pretty sure I should plan to drive home later.
There are four guys, Davis, Coby, and two others I remember meeting at the party, Lance and Trip.
“Was that seriously your first time?” Trip asks.
I glance over at Zora before realizing he’s asking me. “Yeah. I didn’t even catch a wave though.”
A few people laugh. “You almost did. And those are legit waves out there,” Coby says.
“She has great teachers,” Ellie says, taking a sip of beer.
“I do,” I agree. All three of them were out there instructing me at one point or another. I check my watch and realize it’s already seven. “We were out there for two hours! Crap, no wonder I’m starving. Did you only bring drinks or is there anywhere to get food around here?”
Davis is the one to answer. “We brought a grill. Just a camping stove for some hot dogs. We’ll get it going after we hit the waves. But there’s tons of other food in that cooler so help yourselves.” He nods toward the largest cooler I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow. They’re really prepared.
The guys head to the water and I try not to check them out but it’s kind of impossible. I mean really, I’m only human.
“So, Davis was friendly,” Ellie says as she pats the chair next to her. “You still haven’t talked to him since last Saturday night, have you?”
“No. What am I supposed to say? I’m guessing he figured things out when Beck showed up and I left with him.” I feel seriously shitty about that, but if I try to bring it up and apologize to Davis that would be a real clusterfuck of awkwardness.
“Yeah, he was hanging with us when you guys left,” Zora says, cracking open a beer. Guess she downed her first drink already. “They said we could have these, right?” There’s a second cooler, and this one’s filled with drinks and ice. I’m impressed.
“Yeah, go for it,” Lucy confirms.
“Anyway, yeah, Davis didn’t ask for your number, or about what the deal was with Beck. I think he kind of accepted it wasn’t going to happen with you.”
“I guess Beck and I weren’t exactly subtle leaving together like that. Oh well, at least Davis is being nice to me now.”
I ended up telling the girls everything, about how I was kind of the one to initiate the kiss with Davis, and how Beck demanded we speak alone. I’m relieved Davis didn’t make it weird that night and isn’t making it weird now. Maybe he wasn’t even that into me. With Lucy and Coby hitting it off and the rest of my group starting to hang regularly with Coby and his guys, I need things to be not-weird with Davis.
“So it wouldn’t be rude then if I raid their cooler?” I ask.
“Nah, I say go for it,” Zora says. “I mean, we’re not exactly contributing food or drinks here, but we did tell them about this sick spot, so I think it’s fair.”
Ellie joins me in checking out the contents of the cooler. “Plus Coby and Trip at least make real money surfing. I know it’s Coby’s parents’ house they live in, but still, pretty sure he’s loaded. They can afford to share their food.”
There are watermelon slices, pasta salad, potato chips, cookies, and a giant Tupperware of what appears to be fried chicken. These guys have their shit together.
As we watch the guys surf and stuff our faces, I have to admit I kind of miss Beck. Which totally freaks me out. How can I miss him? I’m with three awesome chicks, in a gorgeous spot, feeling that happy-tired vibe after a good time doing something fun. How annoying to miss a guy right now. But still, I can’t help wishing he was here hanging with us right now.
“Whatever happened with you and Taylor?” I ask Ellie.
“Well, we spent all day hanging out last Sunday, but haven’t hung out since.”
“She’s trying to play hard to get,” Lucy explains.
“That’s not it!” Ellie protests. She scooches to the edge of her chair, preparing to launch into an explanation, but then she sighs in defeat. “Okay fine, that’s totally it.”
Zora laughs. “Why?”
“I want to see if he really likes me first.”
“First?” I wonder.
“Before I sleep with him.”
I shove a handful of chips into my mouth.
“He does like you,” Zora says, rolling her eyes.
“Yes, but I want him to realize just how much and then tell me, and then I want to be in a relationship with him and have his babies someday.”
I start choking on a chip and Lucy pats my back.
“Oh Eleanor, our little dreamer,” Lucy sing-songs.
“Dreamer? You mean schemer?” Zora asks. “Just don’t trap him into marriage by getting pregnant,” she warns.
Ellie huffs and crosses her arms. “Fine. I’ll come up with a different plan.”
I’m like 99% sure she’s kidding.
Lucy jumps out of her seat and points at me. “Photos! We have to take a couple of you holding a surfboard for Instagram. People will love it.”
Ellie raises her hand. “I already took a ton while you were out there. Video too.”
“You know my password?” I ask as she hands me my phone.
“Yeah, I just guessed. Your birthday’s the same as Lucy’s so I put that in.”
Shaking my head, I scroll through. Summer’s posted more pictures of me than I have and as the n
umber of followers grows, it’s getting more nerve-wracking each time instead of less. Trying not to think about it too much, I find a video of me attempting to stand after finally catching a wave before crashing spectacularly, commenting that I won’t be switching sports any time soon.
It’s the truth. Yeah, I’m itching to get back out on the water and actually ride a wave for real, but my mind is already drifting to skateboarding. Even with the ocean in front of me and four elite surfers riding the waves, my feet are twitching, seeking out the feel of my board, the one with wheels.
Chapter Eight
Beck
“Wow, I think she’s trying to be funny, but if people knew that was her first time, they’d actually be really impressed.”
Naomi sits beside me on the picnic table at Airwalk, the skatepark near Mom’s house. She’s leaning over my shoulder as we watch a video of Jordan on the water. Jordan paddles hard with the wave and tries to slide up onto her feet, but nose-dives into the water right before she gets all the way up.
I see a comment by Coby Dalton: Yes but it was your first time. We’ll make a surfer out of you yet.
I click on Coby’s profile, and right there in his stories I see my girlfriend hanging on the beach. She’s with her friends, like she said, but Coby’s friends are there too. Davis is standing a few feet away from her in one picture, flipping hot dogs on a portable grill.
