Shattered Chaos (Steel Roses Book 1)

by Samantha Bee

  All of the girls are nodding and looking a little more relaxed as they notice the guys not paying them any attention. Katie is beaming at me and the girl next to her is giving me a small smile. “Alright, so in case you don’t know, I’m Scar.”

  I learn all seven of the girls’ names and a little about what they all do. The girl who walked in with Katie holds herself more assuredly than the others. She knows exactly what she came here for and it isn’t just to be able to defend herself. No, this girl, Jade, she came to me to learn how to be deadly. I plan on doing my damn best to accommodate that.

  To get them started, I have them warming up on the treadmills. They’re all going to have to work on getting their endurance up. It doesn't have to be a sprint, but I tell them they need to start doing cardio and stretching every day.

  As soon as they’re all settled into the warmup routine, I check on the guys but Kade and Luca have them handled. I move on to check on the kids. I grin at the little puppy pile the four of them have fallen into. Kai is the only one sitting up and he has Roe’s head in his lap as he pets her hair while Cal and Trevor lay on either side of her, all three of their limbs tangled around each other.

  The boys have taken it upon themselves to be her little bodyguards and it’s obvious in the way they’ve positioned themselves that they have no intentions of letting Roe get hurt. It’s probably the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed. Roe looks way more relaxed than I’ve ever seen her as the four of them watch their show. She could pass for any other little girl right now, you’d never guess the trauma she’s been through.

  I knew getting her around other kids would benefit her. I’m going to have to talk to Ian and Holden about getting them together a few times a week outside of training as well. I know Charlene watches them as well, so maybe we could just start having her do that at the house. I’ll have to talk about it with Luca, but I already know he will say yes to anything that will help Roe heal.

  I leave the kids be and go back to the girls. Today will be all about conditioning and getting them used to pushing their bodies harder. Most of them probably haven’t had any type of workout routine to build on, so we are starting from scratch.

  It took me years to get where I am, but I don't need them to learn everything I know. We will focus on making them faster, stronger, and I’ll give them a few tricks to equip them with everything they’ll need to fight back.

  By the end of the hour and a half of conditioning most of the girls are ready to pass out. I congratulate all of them on making it through and remind them of what exercises I need them doing daily before telling them I’ll see them Monday and dismissing them.

  I notice Jade is slightly winded but still has that fire burning in her eyes that I noticed earlier. I have a feeling she has a lot more to her story than I know. I won’t push her to tell me though, I will push her body harder though. I have a feeling it’s exactly what she needs to fight her demons.

  “Jade,” I call out to her and she immediately halts, “Stay back. I’ll give you a ride home.” She pauses to say bye to Katie and the other girls before walking back towards me. Now that she’s cleaned up and had a week to heal, she already looks stronger. Still weak and too skinny but a week isn’t long enough to have that much progress.

  Her hair is no longer stringy but sleek as it’s pulled back into a high ponytail. The color is that blue-toned black that you rarely see as a natural color yet that’s exactly what I think hers is. The cool tone of her hair and skin makes the icy blue of her eyes really pop against her long black lashes.

  She’s taller than me by a good four or five inches but probably weighs a good twenty pounds less than me. “How are you healing?” I ask her, not wanting to waste time bullshitting each other.

  “As the doctor expected,” she answers. I can tell she isn’t a girl who complains. She will take the hand she was dealt and smile even if it’s tearing apart her soul. “I’ll have scars but no signs of infections or long-term effects.”

  I nod, “We all have scars,” I shrug. It’s true. Every person in our world has been touched by the hand of evil and has the marks to prove it. Some of our scars may be more visible than others but that doesn’t make anyone’s more valid than the next person’s. It also doesn’t mean we have to be ashamed of the scars that are on display for all to see.

  Her eyes move down my body and I see her gazing at my own scars that I don't bother to hide. My tattoos move around the scars, blending between them, but contrary to what most people seem to think, my ink is not to cover them up. No, it’s to tell their story, my story. To express my feelings about my scars.

  “They’re beautiful,” she whispers to me. The emotion in her voice gives away she isn’t just talking about my ink but also my scars.

  I smile at her, “They’re a part of me, Mikey just helped me tell that part of my story,” I say as I gesture to where he is still working out with the guys. She nods but doesn’t focus on him or any of the guys for very long. Turning her attention back towards me.

  I turn the conversation back towards what I wanted to ask her, “Did the doctor set up a nutrition plan to help you gain weight?”

  She shakes her head slowly, “She gave me some recommendations but nothing formal like a plan.”

  I figured, usually just some suggestions and the ability to eat freely is enough to get them back towards a healthy weight. With Jade I want to take a different route since I plan on training her a little harder than the others and she’s had the least amount of time to heal. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to send my nutritionist over to you later today.”

  A look of confusion enters her eyes, but she doesn’t seem put off by the idea, so I continue my explanation, “I’d like to train you a little differently, a little harder than the other girls if you’re up to it?” Before the words are even finished coming out of my mouth she’s nodding eagerly. I knew this was what she needed. Not only to be stronger but for someone to just believe in her. For someone to see the strength she has on the inside even after so much has been taken away from her.

  “Great,” I grin, “then I need you as healthy as possible. A nutritionist will help you figure out the best way to get you on track.”

  I see the first hints of a smile twitch at the corner of her lips and can’t help but smile back. “She’s great,” I assure her. “She’s been working with me to help Rowan,” I gesture to the little girl, so Jade knows who I mean. “She will work with whatever you’re most comfortable doing.”

  Jade looks back at Roe before studying me, “You really go out of your way to help girls like us.”

  I shrug, “Maybe I’m more like you than you realize.” I nudge her towards the bag I was practicing on with Roe earlier, “Now, I’m going to show you how to properly throw a punch.”

  We spend the next hour going through different types of fighting techniques and the most basic moves of self-defense and offense. I don’t just want her to be able to defend herself, I want her to learn how to turn her body into a weapon. She has that drive in her that pushes her to need that control in order to heal.

  By the end of our session, the guys have finished, and I know they’re doing their best to watch us inconspicuously, but they aren’t really succeeding. Jade is panting next to me in exhaustion, but I see a real smile on her face for the first time.

  I pat her on the back, “You did amazing for your first session. I’ll have you do conditioning with the other girls three times a week and then staying later to work with me one on one.”

  She sits on the floor and looks up at me, “Thank you, Scar.”

  I chuckle, “Don’t thank me yet, Jade. Just ask the guys, training with me is their least favorite thing.”

  I hear a rumbling of agreements come from all the males in the room. I trade looks with Jade and roll my eyes, she grins and whispers, “Pussies,” just loud enough for them to still hear it. Feigned gasps of outrage sound across the room and I throw my head back and cackle.

  �
��I knew I was going to like you, Jade.”

  The rest of the day was spent relaxing back at Luca’s house. I wanted to invite Jade back with us but could sense her growing unease as the men started to interact more with us. They all did their best not to touch her, crowd her, or even let their gazes linger on her for too long but I could tell it was still overwhelming for her.

  Luca, Ryder, and I drop her off at the safe house she’s been staying at before picking up dinner and heading back to the house. We invited everyone else over so the kids could continue playing together.

  When we left, I could tell Roe didn’t want to say goodbye to the boys, but we couldn’t fit all of them in our car. When she had the choice of riding with them or me, she hesitated but still chose me. Even just that small moment showed just how much she has grown in the last week.

  I think those boys just might be the balm that soothes her hurt. We can help her heal but those little rascals will teach her how to just be a kid, they’ll keep her edges from becoming jagged.

  When we pull up to the house and walk in, everyone is already back except for Kade and Ronan. I send a questioning look to Mikey, but he just shrugs like he doesn’t know what happened to them either.

  The twins and Trevor immediately surround my legs as I hold Rowan in my arms. I press her kiss to her forehead as she strains to get down, “Take it easy, okay?”

  Kai grips Roe’s little hand in his own as his twin answers me with a lopsided grin, “We promise.” She leads them into the living room and starts showing them all of the different toys that have started piling up in every room. I don’t think I go a single day without waking up to more Amazon packages waiting on the doorstep.

  We start drinking as we settle in watching the kids get to know each other. Rowan still isn’t talking but she seems more relaxed and childlike than I’ve ever seen her before. The boys have accepted her into their little circle with ease, even though she hasn’t said a word to them.

  About a half hour later Kade and Ronan walk into the room, both wearing matching dopey grins. Oh, they definitely did something. I look over Kade’s features trying to determine what the hell he might have done but I can’t see any sign of whatever mischief the two of them got into.

  “What were you two up to?” I ask skeptically looking back and forth between them. Their smiles only grow wider.

  I trade looks with Luca and we both shake our heads. “Alright, where is it?” I sigh, feigning exasperation but I have a feeling all of a sudden that I know what these two did and I can’t say I’m mad about it.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kade defends and Ronan chuckles. I narrow my eyes at the pair of them. “We both know I’ll end up seeing it eventually.”

  His smile turns rather predatory as he responds, “Maybe I want to make you work for it.” A shiver runs down my spine as heat pools in my lower belly at the promise in his words.

  “Okay, enough,” scoffs Ian, “There are children here,” he reminds us. He ruins it by muttering, “You’re getting me all hot and bothered.” We all laugh as the tension dissipates.

  The rest of the night goes by relaxing, drinking, and eating pizza. Kade never owns up to where he got his new tattoo and Ronan refuses to give anything away. We watch and point out to each other every time one of the boys takes care of Roe. That girl is going to be more pampered than any other child I’ve ever met.

  I lean into Ian's shoulder, “You and Holden amaze me,” I whisper my confession to him. “You’ve both raised such sweet boys.”

  He squeezes my knee, “They won’t always be that way.”

  I groan, “Don’t remind me.” I want to preserve as much of her childhood as she has left. That extends to the boys as well. They’re going to be raised in the shadows on some ugly beasts, I just hope we aren’t all completely lost to the dark and are able to provide the light they need to shine.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I double check my phone to make sure I have the right address as I pull up to the black, wrought iron gates. Yupp. This is what Scar texted me.

  I take another look around but can’t see anything through the gate except the road and a lot of greenery. Like a lot of fucking greenery. It’s a small forest out here.

  I shrug off my questions as I dial in the code she sent along with the address. Even though it was correct when I double checked, a part of me is still surprised when the gate starts swinging inwards. I guess I can just ask her when I see her.

  I pull forward and am shocked speechless by the beauty surrounding both sides of the narrow road. Huge trees line both sides, creating a thick shield from prying eyes. I drive for a few minutes before the road curves and I get my first view of the house. It’s a huge contemporary style home done in stone with black and brown accents. There are large panels of glass on multiple levels of the home, giving it an open and modern look. That at least explains the need for so much privacy.

  I pull up and park next to a separate building that looks like a garage but massively bigger than your average two, or even three, car garage. I take a second to just observe everything around me. I know Scar said she’s staying at Luca’s house temporarily, but this is oddly fitting for her. Something about the subtle details of, well everything, just screams Scar to me. The colors, architecture, even the trees surrounding the house and road all seem to somehow fit her.

  I shoot her a quick text to let her know that I’ve parked, not wanting to take her or anyone else by surprise. Privacy seems important to Luca. I just hope she warned him about my being here.

  I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell before stepping back and waiting. I know the surprise must be clearly expressed on my face when the guy from the night at the club just chuckles after opening the door.

  “Noah, right?” he asks, drawing the door open further in invitation. I guess at this point I should just expect for another guy to be answering the door any time I call on Scar. “I’m Ryder, in case you forgot,” he continues as I just stare at him. I shake myself out of my daze as I follow him inside. “Sorry, Scar had another nightmare last night, so she ended up taking a nap,” he explains.

  Luca appears out of nowhere and smacks him upside the head, “She wouldn’t want you to disclose that to anyone, idiot.”

  He just shrugs and taunts, “Too late now, isn’t it?”

  Something about him seems different than when I first met him, and not just that the physical wounds have healed. I had planned to take Scar on this date just a few days after the last time I saw her, but it didn’t work out quite like that. Between school and a family emergency that pulled me out of town, it’s been over a month since I’ve seen any of them.

  At the club he seemed weighed down and a little bit lost. Scar was really the only thing he could focus on the entire time we were at the club. I never once saw his eyes stray to another woman and he barely interacted with any other conversations that didn’t include her. It almost seemed like she was anchoring him to the here and now so he wouldn’t get lost in a rush of his own thoughts.

  Today, he seems lighter. I can see the shadows of exhaustion and something else, something more emotional still lining his eyes but he seems more firmly planted in the present. Not like he may drift off to memories of the past at any moment.

  For someone who enjoys the more lighthearted things in life, Scar sure does collect a lot of damaged souls.

  I clear my throat, breaking up their staring contest, “Hey, sorry for intruding, man.”

  Luca just waves me off, “You’re always welcome here.”

  Just then Kade wanders into the conversation to tease, “I knew you would be team Noah sooner or later,” as he clamps his hand down on Luca’s shoulder, grinning. I grin at the bemused expression that crosses Luca’s face before he shuts it down.

  He shrugs, “I could be persuaded to your line of thinking.” Ryder looks just as confused as I do but Kade looks like a little kid on Christmas.

  The four of us stand there
for a moment silently before I speak, “I didn’t know you all would be here.” I knew she was staying with Luca, although she didn’t tell me why, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about the other two. Not that she had too.

  The three of them trade looks, looking unsure of how exactly to respond. Kade ends up just smiling, “We are all staying with Luca for now, while we,” he hesitates before sighing, “Fuck it. You’re going to figure it out anyways.”

  Both Luca and Ryder raise their brows at him, silently asking him if he’s sure. I cough, “You guys don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t comfortable sharing,” not wanting them to feel pressured. Some people would say I’m too nice but honestly, I just don’t like when someone is made to be uncomfortable.

  Kade just shrugs though, “It’s not like we can hide her.” Her? Kade saves me from asking when he continues, “Scar’s niece lost her family and is moving here. She’s been staying with Scar until we can get her comfortable enough to settle in with her foster family.”

  I feel the shock written plainly across my face. Nothing could have prepared me for that, and I can feel my own heart cracking for the girl. “I didn’t know Scar had any siblings.” To be honest, she’s never even mentioned as much as a distant relative.

  Ryder just shakes his head, “We don’t have all the details either. She’s just a little girl and instantly bonded to Scar though so we haven’t wanted to separate them.” Somehow, I feel like a lot is being left out in his explanation and I’m the only one in the dark. I shrug it off, not wanting to push them.

  As we’ve been talking, we moved through the house into what looks like the living room. I let my eyes wander around and realize what Kade meant by not being able to hide the little girl’s presence from me. It looks like Toys R Us threw up in here.

  Everywhere you look there are more toys and stuffed animals laying around haphazardly. “Sorry, about the mess,” Luca rubs the back of his neck. “Scar keeps trying to organize the chaos, but new bags of toys keep appearing.”