It’s My Party

by Ramy Vance

  Sandy stared at the sides of the rest stop. GB hadn’t been joking about how much he loved to dig, and he had undersold his talent. With GB leading the way, they had been able to cut straight into the hard rock that would lead them to Suzuki and Beth. As a result, Sandy was able to see the shimmering geodes underground. Her face sparkled in their reflection. She had never seen raw geodes shine like this before. “Stew, you have to see this,” Sandy said as she tugged on Stew’s belt.

  Stew looked up and almost didn’t notice the underground beauty that his attention was being called to. He instantly turned back to sharpening his shovel before it clicked. Once he looked back at the geodes, it was almost impossible for him to look away. “You don’t see that every day,” Stew murmured.

  “Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this.”

  Chip and Diana were sitting in the middle of the rest stop, talking with each other quietly. They looked at the two Mundanes, still speaking under their breath. GB sat at the far end of the rest stop, near where he was going to begin digging again. “Beautiful down here, isn’t it?” GB asked.

  Stew lightly touched the geodes. They were unnaturally cold, and it felt like he was running his fingers across an ice cube. “Dude, how did you get so good at digging?” Stew asked. “Don’t you fly or something? I always saw the wings and just assumed you were like an imp or something.”

  Gb shook his head, still looking at the eventual tunnel. “No, I was born underground,” GB said. “I spent most of my life underground. That was until the grimpons forced us out.”

  Diana’s ears perked up at hearing new information. “Did you say ‘us?’” she asked. “I wasn’t aware there were other gargoyles like you.”

  “We aren’t really gargoyles. Not like regular ones, at least. We’ve got enough similarities for humans and elves to think we’re the same, but the dwarves know. They’ve seen us for years.”

  “How come the dwarves have never said anything?” Stew asked.

  “When does a dwarf ever tell you anything about the underground places if you don’t ask?”

  Diana nodded thoughtfully as she walked over to study the geodes with the Mundanes. “True, true. They are extremely tight-lipped about what they’ve experienced underground. Some of the military think that the war would be going differently if the dwarves were more forthright about their underground experiences.”

  GB stood up and lumbered over to the rest of the group. He sat down next to Chip and hung his head. The boyish joy that had been in his eyes before was gone. His face sank, and he looked at his feet with a misery that seemed acutely out of place. “Nope,” he said. “The only things down in the dirt are more dirt and what the dwarves made. They’ve shared all of that, even us.”

  “What do you mean, ‘even us?’”

  “The dwarves made us. They made us out of stone and dirt to help them build.”

  Diana rushed over to GB and knelt beside him. She grabbed his hands as GB’s eyes turned back to their usual goofiness. “Are you saying the dwarves created you?” Diana asked.

  GB shook his head sadly, his goofy eyes making him look all the more miserable and melancholic. “Yep. They made us to dig, and the grimpons forced them to leave us behind. Then the grimpons ate almost all of us. The military took the rest of us. The dwarves don’t need us for magic, so we always go to humans and humans never dig. They never have a reason to. That’s how we live.”

  Stew and Sandy went over to GB and took a seat next to him. The gargoyle was crying, shimmering tears that rolled down his face like small diamond pebbles. Stew put his hand on GB’s shoulder to try to comfort him. “Dude, how come you never told me about this?” Stew asked. “We’re buddies, you know you can talk to me about anything. I mean, you pretty much talk to me about anything even when I don’t want to hear it. How come you didn’t tell me this?”

  “It’s not funny. It’s just sad.”

  “GB, you don’t have to always be funny.”

  The gargoyle-like creature looked at Stew. “I thought humans liked funny. They’re always saying I’m funny.”

  “I mean, you are, but you don’t have to only be funny. Take me, for example. I’m hilarious. But I’m also strong. Sexy. And extremely smart. You know?”

  GB smiled a little bit. It did little to mask the sadness on his face. He sighed heavily. It sounded like he would never stop sighing. “I don’t like to talk about it. That’s why. I don’t like to think about it. It’s more fun to talk about that time that we made your dick turn fuzzy.”

  Stew coughed loudly and covered his face as he blushed brighter than he had the whole day. “Dude, I told you that you need to stop saying that shit out loud!” Stew shouted. “Boundaries, remember? You need to remember our boundaries.”

  “Sorry, Stew.”

  “Like we talked about, with boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about this, you don’t have to. Just say something.”

  “I can talk,” GB said, nodding his head. “It’s okay.”

  Diana didn’t waste a beat and turned GB to face her as she pulled her glasses down. “Good. Now I have some questions for you,” she rattled on. “When did the dwarves make you? Were you slaves? What kind of work other than digging did they have you do? Are you organic? Do you have organs? And what the hell were the grimpons?”

  “I don’t know when we were made. And we weren’t slaves. We didn’t have to dig if we didn’t want to, but that’s pretty much all we did. Dig, dig, dig, dig. And I don’t think I have organs. There’s nothing squishy in me. And grimpons are dirt worms. They eat everything that digs.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They feel you digging in the earth. Then they come gobble you up.”

  “On the dwarven planets.”

  “Everywhere.”

  The ground in the rest stop started to shake as the walls trembled. There was a terrible rumbling that rolled and rolled until it was a near-deafening thunder. GB jumped to his feet, that huge goofy grin back on his face. “That’s a grimpon!” he exclaimed. “Now you can see how they like to eat all the good diggers!”

  Stew reached out and shook GB like a rag doll. “Are you fucking telling me we’re digging a hole in a planet filled with giant worms that eat anyone who is digging underground?!” he shouted.

  “Oh, no, Stewart. They don’t eat anyone. They just eat the best diggers!”

  “Why didn’t you tell us this before we started digging?!?”

  “Because grimpons are half the fun of digging!” GB shouted as the walls around him shook. Then the rumbling became too much to bear, as did the shaking of their structure. The walls of the rest stop started to come down. Stew raised his arm to shield Sandy, who had pulled out her wand and pointed it at the quickly-descending ceiling. Then everything went dark.

  Across the mountain, in a tunnel of their own, Fred was napping quietly as Suzuki and Beth dug their tunnel. Apparently having a physical form had worn Fred out, and he had passed out quickly after they began digging. Suzuki had strapped Fred to his back as Fred explained the situation. Fred said that it could take as little as ten minutes to three hours. Suzuki hadn’t had a chance to tease Fred at all before the imp fell asleep. It wasn’t difficult to move the imp. He hardly weighed anything. Most of the time that Fred had been sleeping, Suzuki had had him strapped to his back.

  Suzuki and Beth worked in silence. The only sound in the tunnel was that of their shovels. After the first hour of digging, they had stopped dealing with soft dirt. Now it was bedrock and stone. Suzuki had gotten around the issue by enchanting Beth’s shovel so that it was as hard as a diamond. He even managed to transmute it so that it was shaped more like a pickaxe. Instead of bothering with his shovel, Suzuki found it easier to use his ax. The ax was much sharper. He was also hoping Beth would notice how sick it was. Unfortunately, she seemed very obsessed with their current task.

  In a lot of ways, Suzuki was glad that they weren’t talking. There had been so much building up in him
that he wouldn’t even know where to start. Suzuki tried to trace the genesis of his feelings. He had been doing this for a while now, ever since Beth had left to join the military. At first, he thought that the feelings he had were motivated by the fear of missing out on an adventure. The longer he sat around at home, the more he realized that was not the case. He had been in love with Beth for a long time.

  Love. It wasn’t how Suzuki would have phrased it that long ago. Even a couple of weeks ago, he still wouldn’t have attached the word to how he felt. He didn’t know what had changed to make him comfortable with saying it to himself. He just knew it. That was why he was here. He loved Beth with all of his heart. She had been the sole motivating factor in his life for longer than he remembered. It was Beth who had dragged him out of his shell when they were playing VR, and it was Beth who had encouraged him to step up to the plate and start leading the Mundanes with his tactics. If it weren’t for her, he never would have made it to Middang3ard. He never would have had the guts to fight.

  Beth looked at Suzuki and clicked her tongue at him. “Hey, Douchy Suzy, you’re falling behind. Pick up the pace.”

  “Fuck off, you’re not the one with an imp strapped to his back.”

  “If you’re gonna be a little bitch about it, we can switch off. I mean, if you think that you need help from a malnourished prisoner, be my guest. I would have thought that the MERCs were keeping you well-fed and strong. Guess I joined up with the right outfit.”

  “Trust me, I’m well-fed and strong. Strong at least, but the food hasn’t been all that good for a while.”

  “Okay, I was joking, but that definitely hit a nerve. The food that we get at the barracks is shit. They aren’t trying to shower us with a lavish life, even if we are the last defense against the Dark One.”

  “Did you mean what you said back there? About not being able to defeat him?”

  Beth stopped digging and let her shovel fall to the side. She turned to face Suzuki, shaking her head. “No, that was the torture talking,” she said softly. “It was rough in there. Daily beatings. There are only so many times you can let someone kick your teeth out.”

  “Looks like you still got a couple.”

  “They used shit to heal me. Weird shit. It wasn’t magic.”

  “It’s because the Dark One isn’t using magic. I don’t think he’s using it at all. You know he’s microchipping the different races to control them.”

  “I had an inkling. I’ve been hearing things between the walls.”

  “All of their communication is tech, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the weapons are too.”

  “I haven’t seen any tech weapons.”

  Silence fell between them, only it wasn’t heavy. It felt natural, a breath of life in their conversation, into this odd time, the two of them alone, beneath the earth.

  Suzuki spoke first. “I’m sorry about what happened in there. Shit sounds fucked.”

  “It was. And I didn’t even get the worst of it. Some of my platoon couldn’t take the torture. Some of them didn’t come back.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  Beth wiped tears from her eyes. She turned as if she were getting ready to get back to digging, but instead, she fell to her knees. Her body shook as she sobbed and pulled at her hair. She screamed, and it was the sound of pain, pure and unadulterated.

  Suzuki knelt next to Beth. He reached out to put his arm around her.

  Beth slapped Suzuki’s hand away. “Don’t touch me,” she shouted, stumbling over her words, barely able to get them out. “Don’t fucking touch me. Where were you? Where the fuck were you, Suzuki? I needed you. I fucking needed you! I told them you were coming for us. I promised them we were going to make it out, all of us. Every fucking one of us. And I let them die. I couldn’t do anything. I let them die, and I couldn’t stop any of it.”

  Beth curled into a ball, hugging her knees between her arms, and fell against Suzuki. She cried until there were no more tears. Her body continued to shiver as she sobbed breathless gasps as if all of the life were being forced out of her lungs. She held Suzuki’s hand hard enough that he could feel the bones in his hand squeezing against each other. After some time, Beth was quiet, her back heaving heavily, up and down, in a slow rhythm.

  “I tried to get here faster, Beth. I’m sorry. I tried as hard as I—”

  “Don’t apologize. I know. That’s why you’re here now. I just… I was close to cracking. I’m glad you came. I knew you would.”

  “What else would I do?”

  “Some people wouldn’t come. I know they wouldn’t. We’re expendable. We’re just grunts. Hundreds disappear every day, and they never send search parties. We’re pawns in a game, Suz. At least us military are.”

  “I would never leave you.”

  “Never split the party, you know,” Beth said with a weak laugh.

  Suzuki took Beth’s chin in his hand so that she could see him; so that she could look him in the eyes. “No, Beth. I mean, I will never leave you.”

  Beth smiled weakly. She looked like she was made of glass. “I know, Suz. I know.” She rested her head against Suzuki’s shoulder. They both stared out at the geodes sparkling underground. “Could we just stay here for a little while. God, I wish I was anywhere but this hell hole, but I’m too tired. I just need to sit for a little bit.”

  “Where do you want to be?” Suzuki asked.

  “I don’t know. At your place. I never got to see where you lived, like your room or anything.”

  “It’s nothing special. It’s kind of shitty, like the kind of nerd cavern you don’t want to show anyone.”

  Beth shrugged. “I still want to see it. I’d much rather be there than here. I’d rather be there than anywhere.”

  Suzuki knew Fred was asleep. He didn’t know how this was going to work out, but he was going to try anyway. He focused, shut his eyes, and tried to clear everything from his mind except for one thought. Everything but one image. He whispered under his breath, “Clairvoyance.”

  Everything changed instantly. Beth and Suzuki were sitting on Suzuki’s bed. The room was modest-sized. The walls were covered in posters from different anime series and D&D campaigns. A large bookcase took up most of one of the walls, and books were spilling from its shelves. The Middang3ard VR lay next to a computer, with far too many crumpled napkins sitting next to a bottle of lotion. Suzuki sighed loudly and hoped Beth wouldn’t notice.

  Beth looked around the room and then sleepily looked at Suzuki. “How did you do that?” she murmured.

  “Magic. Getting to you required a lot of upgrades.”

  “This is exactly what I imagined, cum rags and all.”

  “We could…uh…go someplace else. If I’ve been there—”

  “No, this is good. This is perfect. This is where I want to be.”

  Sandy opened her eyes. She couldn’t see anything around her. Her hands reached out in the dark until she found her wand, and she picked it up and cast an illumination spell. The cool, pale light revealed the collapsed tunnel.

  Stew was sitting up against the wall. There was a massive gash across his forehead and he was bleeding profusely. “Stew!” Sandy shouted.

  Stew’s eyes fluttered open. “What’s up, babe?” he whispered as he touched his forehead. He looked at his bloody fingers with glazed eyes. “Oh, babe, ‘tis just a flesh wound.” He chuckled as he slumped forward.

  Sandy waved her wand, casting a healing spell as fast as she could. She rolled Stew over on his back. The wound was already nearly done stitching itself up. She tried to waken Stew, but he didn’t move. Then she remembered one of the first lessons that Diana had given her on advanced magical healing. Magic can and will always heal physical wounds. It doesn’t always heal the ramifications of those wounds. Specifically, head trauma. That’s why most MERCs wore helmets, but there wasn’t time to think about that. She had to figure out the situation. Sandy pushed Stew back up against the wa
ll and flipped her HUD down. She scanned his body for injuries using the nice feature Chip had added to their HUDs when the Mundanes and the Horsemen had left the Red Lion.

  The HUD displayed Stew’s body. He had a minor concussion. Sandy sighed with relief. At least it was only minor. Stew would probably wake up in a little bit. That, however, didn’t help her with the situation she was in right now. Sandy prodded Stew with her wand a few times before she got up to check the extent of the damage. She checked to see how bad the collapse in the tunnel was. After going over every inch, she thought it was safe to say that the tunnel was airtight. No air was getting out, and none was getting in.

  Sandy pulled out her amulet from Ashegoreth. She pressed it to her chest, and her skin dissolved into ash and cloaked her in a miasma of decay. After she had adjusted to being formless, she plunged her hand into her chest.

  No organs.

  No lungs.

  No need for air.

  Perfect. This would at least buy some time. Sandy sighed as she leaned back against the other side of the wall so she could keep an eye on Stew. Just blowing her way through the rock wasn’t going to help. The grimpons could pick up on whatever she was doing. There was also a chance that more of the tunnel could collapse. The whole point was to use the tunnels to get to Suzuki. If there was anything she had learned from that nerd, it was that you don’t sacrifice a plan because it didn’t work. You improve it if you can. Using tunnels to get Suzuki and Beth out was the best idea, and Sandy wasn’t going to sacrifice the work they’d already done.

  “Fuck.”

  Sandy conjured a tome. She flipped through a few pages and nodded her head, then she cast the book aside. She didn’t have time to read through anything. If the Amulet of Elroz was worth anything, she was going to find out soon enough.