It’s My Party

by Ramy Vance

  Suzuki thought that Beth was sleeping. He was surprised when she spoke, her voice soft, almost as if she didn’t want to hear what she had to say. “Suzy…” she murmured.

  “Yeah.”

  “Does anyone else call you that?”

  “Uh, Sandy sometimes. why?”

  “You remember how you got that nickname, right?” Beth asked.

  “I don’t know. You were making fun of me or something.”

  “You know why Sandy calls you that?”

  Suzuki shook his head. “’Cause she’s teasing me. Same reason you’re always calling us douchenozzles.”

  “Sandy calls you Suzy because I asked her to.”

  “Why?”

  She pursed her lips as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him. Then she shook her head, and with a determined look on her face, she said, “So you wouldn’t forget about me. You know, because you’d keep hearing it. Like, so I’d be kind of like an afterthought.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “You remember why I called you that?”

  “Yeah, you were saying that I was soft. You were saying I was really soft, like a Susan or something. You settled on Suzy.”

  Beth chuckled. “Right. That’s not what I meant, though. I didn’t say what I wanted to. I was scared. I was really fucking scared, so I was joking. I’m tired of being scared, Suzy.”

  “So why’d you call me that? I thought you were just saying I was a bitch.”

  Beth leaned in close. “It’s ‘cause you’re pretty. I think you’re really pretty. And I was afraid you’d get butt hurt because I didn’t say handsome or some shit and I was scared that you would think it was weird. I guess I was mostly afraid of admitting that I thought you were.”

  “You think I’m pretty?”

  “Yeah. I think you’re really pretty.”

  They were quiet. Suzuki didn’t think there was anything worth saying. He was still enjoying the feeling of stillness that had settled over the illusion of his room. It was quiet enough that Suzuki could hear Beth crying softly.

  “I’m so tired of being afraid,” she choked through soft sniffles. “I have been so scared for so long.”

  Suzuki reached out to her and pulled her in close. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  “There is always something to be afraid of,” Beth said, leaning into him.

  Beth’s sobs faded and were replaced with quiet snores. She’d drifted to sleep, leaving him with his thoughts. There were far too many to figure out. All he knew was that this was right. Whatever was happening right now was right. It went beyond words and had no need to be spoken. At least right now. He also believed Beth. There was always something to be afraid of. But that didn’t change anything for him. He’d been living with fear since he’d come to Middang3ard, some fears larger than others.

  And the next thought Suzuki felt clearly, unclouded and distilled into a pure rage that twisted his stomach and set his entire being on fire, was simple: The Dark One was going to be afraid.

  The Dark One was going to fear Suzuki. He would fear his face. He would fear his war cry. He would fear his ax as it descended on his neck, cleaving his head from his body.

  The Dark One would know fear.

  12

  Diana woke up covered in dust. She tried to stand, but her body refused to listen. She could not tell where she was.

  All of the world was dark.

  When she inhaled, it was only the scent of dirt, of soil broken apart and suffocating. “Chip! Sandy!”

  There were no answers.

  Diana reached out into the dark and fumbled around until she found her wand. She grabbed it and held it tightly as she tried to prop herself up.

  The air was thin. There was hardly enough to breathe. The darkness was swimming, and Diana rested her head against the wall. She felt as if the world were caving in around her—but it already had.

  Sandy was somewhere.

  So was Stew.

  Chip wasn’t a concern, she could take care of herself. Diana had no worry about that. Both she and Chip had been through worse situations than this one, if not worse, at least comparable.

  There was still a tunnel. It would have been impossible for the grimpons to have collapsed the rest pit that they’d built and separate all four of the MERCs. They had to have gone somewhere. It wasn’t like they could have just been transported into the dirt unless the grimpons had some kind of magic that Diana had not sensed at first. More likely was that everyone was split up through the tunnel that had been built. All that Diana had to do was figure out how to reconnect with the other tunnels. It’d be easy enough. She sat for a few moments, thinking of the different possibilities, of various outcomes and variables. In the back of her mind, she wished that she could have been trapped with one of the newbs.

  This would have been a good time to observe how they reacted under pressure.

  Air was the first thing to take care of. When she had been connected to the other tunnel, air had still been funneling through their initial hole. Now that she was cut off from that hole, she had to make sure she didn’t suffocate. First things first. Diana cast a protection bubble around her head. It was a trick that she had picked up for underwater missions. Then she pressed the wand to the clear, soapy bubble. The wand passed through the bubble and Diana cast a small whirlwind spell.

  Typically, it was an offensive spell, but if the caster was skilled enough, the expansiveness of the spell could be reduced and the wind focused for other purposes. In Diana’s case, that meant a constantly circulating cycle of fresh air. Scratch suffocation off of the list.

  “Find target,” Diana murmured as she sat up, her body still aching from whatever the grimpons had caused to happen.

  A golden spear of light flew out of Diana’s chest as she absentmindedly checked her inventory for her mana supply. She had enough to ease her mind. She’d easily get out of this without dipping into her magic reserves.

  The golden spear ended at the wall of the enclosed tunnel. “Perfect,” Diana muttered to herself as she pointed her wand when the spear had disappeared. A small blue light shot out the tip of her wand, burrowing itself into a sigil which she drew, covering the section of the wall in ancient, magical chicken scratch. When she was done, she tapped her wand against the rock and dirt.

  It was neither an explosion nor an implosion. The rock merely collapsed in on itself. There was now a bit more walking room. Diana repeated the sigil work and carved out another bit of the stone and dirt, making a fresh tunnel to connect to wherever else the rest of the MERCs were.

  At this rate, this was going to take forever. Diana hoped that whatever was going on with the rest of her friends, that they had figured out a similar plan. In her earlier panic, Diana had forgotten that she could at least try to communicate with the rest of the MERCs. She flipped down her HUD and jotted a message quickly, pinging her location. She sat in the dimly lit tunnel, waiting for a response.

  After a few minutes, Diana’s HUD pinged. Chip had apparently had the same thought. Diana patched her HUD into Chip’s so they could talk. “You still alive?” Diana asked.

  Chip’s voice came garbled over the HUD’s comm. “Barely, and hardly happy about it,” Chip complained. “Just once, I’d like one of these shenanigans to go right for a change. My assbone is off-kilter, and I’ve noticed that there is a surprising lack of ale in these here tunnels.”

  “Have you heard from José?”

  “Aye, he already gave me the scoop on what I figured would be the plan. Converge on the little newbs, righto?”

  “Exactly. Might want to link up first, though. You know those grimpon things are—”

  Diana’s tunnel started to rumble. Something was chewing through the earth surrounding her. “Speak of the fucking devil and he, she, or it will appear. Hold on, Chip.”

  Diana backed up and placed her ear against the wall. She strained her ear to listen to which direction the rumbling was coming from. Then somet
hing dawned on her. If the grimpons were digging through the dirt looking for something to eat, that meant they were leaving tunnels as well. That meant more traveling space, and the potential for less digging.

  All Diana had to do was lure the grimpon toward her. Now that she knew what she was up against, whatever the fuck those things were, they weren’t going to get the drop on her again.

  The rumbling increased. Whatever was coming for Diana was coming fast. Diana’s tunnel shook violently and Diana raised her wand, the tip bristling with energy. Then one of the walls of the tunnel collapsed, sending dirt and dust flying everywhere. Diana held her breath and patiently waited for the dust to settle before she fired a blast. Her heart was racing, but she kept her cool. If there was one thing Diana knew she was capable of, it was waiting for the precise moment to be as deadly as possible.

  Diana could see a silhouette through the dust. This was her chance. She raised her wand and sent forth a lightning whip, the energy tethered to the tip of her wand.

  “Holy shit!” a familiar voice shouted.

  Diana withdrew the whip and cast the same whirlwind spell she had used before. The dust shot backward in the direction that whatever stood before her had come from. As the last of the dust cleared away, Diana could see who her assailant was.

  José was doubled over, coughing loudly as he tried to fan away the last bit of dust. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?” he shouted.

  Diana laughed, and she walked over to José and helped him to his feet. “I figured I’d give a warning just in case it was you. Besides, I knew it was going to take more than a little bit of lightning to kill you,” Diana joked.

  José dusted himself off and walked farther into the small enclosure. He held an ax in each of his hands, and his face was dripping with sweat. His armor had been removed and his scar-covered chest was heaving with exhaustion. “You seen the gargoyle?” he asked.

  “No, I’ve hardly moved from this spot. How’d you find me so quickly?”

  “Not my first time being stuck underground. Honestly, it’s happened much more than I’d like to think is normal. You pick up a few tricks. Besides, with all the upgrades Chip’s dumped into these HUDs, I honestly don’t think I’m ever going to lose track of you two.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.”

  “It’s definitely an irritating thing.”

  “And Chip?”

  Diana nodded. “She messaged me that she’s trying to zero in on the newbs. Figure if I linked up with you, we could get through this faster. I had a feeling you’d be taking your time.”

  “I don’t want to burn through all my mana and risk bringing the tunnel down on myself. And, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t work well in enclosed spaces.”

  “Could have had me fooled.”

  “So we’re digging?”

  “Yep.”

  “And the grimpons?”

  “I didn’t get a good look at them, but they were fast. Let’s try to be faster next time.”

  Suzuki jerked awake violently. He wasn’t sure where he was. The last thing he could remember was falling asleep with Beth at his side. They had been… back home? That didn’t make any sense. Slowly, Suzuki started to come out of the haze of sleep.

  Too slow, Suzuki thought. It never takes me this long to wake up. Something’s keeping me down. It’s almost like a drug. He tried to push through the fog obscuring his mind. Where the hell is Beth? he suddenly thought.

  When Suzuki tried to look around in the dark, he found that his neck was stuck. The muscles were working, but there was something restraining him.

  That was when he first felt the warm, sticky substance on his neck. That was all he could feel, though.

  His whole body was numb.

  The fluid covering his neck up to his chin was probably all over his body. That was probably what was keeping him drowsy and incapable of moving.

  “Beth?” Suzuki whispered. “Beth, are you there?”

  Suzuki heard a soft groan from not too far away. A couple of feet, if that. “Suzy…” Beth murmured. “Is that you?”

  “Yeah, yeah. It’s me.”

  Suzuki could hear Beth struggling. Whatever had wrapped him up had taken care of Beth as well. “Ugh.” Beth groaned again as she tried to fight the oppressively sticky, slimy substance covering her body. “What the fuck is this shit?”

  “No idea.”

  “Fucking great. I get sprung from a jail cell just so some subterranean perv can cover me in its love funk. This day just keeps getting better.”

  “Do you know anything about what kind of creatures are in the mountain?”

  “Not really. There were rumors about different magical creatures being brought into the camps, but I don’t think I ever heard anyone talking about anything actually in the mountains.”

  They were both quiet for a few minutes, Suzuki trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get out of a seminal cocoon if he couldn’t use his hands and Beth silently fighting the fluids that held her down. “Actually,” she said after a while, “I did hear something about the mountain. The tunnels that were being used for the prisons, they weren’t dug by the Dark One. There was already something here, and the Dark One’s forces just moved in and made use of what was already here. Every so often, some guards would turn down the wrong tunnel and end up disappearing. It happens when they move prisoners sometimes. Whatever dug those tunnels is probably still using the ones that weren’t taken over by the Dark One.”

  “All right, so we know there’s definitely something else in this tunnel. Obviously, whatever it is uses the tunnels to hunt, but it can’t be too starved for food.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Well, it didn’t eat us right away. Either this thing is pretty well-fed, or it’s got other plans for us.”

  “Dude, we’re probably lunch for some queen or something. The whole mountain feels like a giant anthill.”

  “Let’s hope we’re just lunch.”

  Something moved in the darkness. The chamber Suzuki and Beth were in was larger than Suzuki had first assumed. It was nothing like the small tunnel they had dug earlier, or any of the other tunnels they had walked through in the prison. This room was large enough to have an echo. Whatever was moving around in the dark was close, but not close enough to reach out and touch. Not that Suzuki could have if he wanted. It didn’t matter. The thing moving in the darkness was getting closer.

  It was the clicking Suzuki noticed first. It reminded him of a toy he had owned as a child, an electronic dolphin. When you pressed a button on the back, the dolphin would do an electronic impersonation of a real dolphin’s echolocation. The sound was a little bit off on the toy. It sounded as if it were drowning as it clicked away. The creature moving in the darkness sounded very similar. The second sound Suzuki picked up was something dragging itself across the ground. Maybe the creature searching for its way in the dark was gimpy or carried a large club. Whatever Suzuki imagined, it didn’t seem good, but he was going to find out soon enough. Too bad he couldn’t do anything to defend himself.

  There was a sudden brief flash of light. It looked like when a firefly’s butt illuminates, but much larger. For a second, Suzuki could make something out in the darkness. He could see the emaciated body, bones sticking out so that the ribs were pronounced, the large, white eyes sunk deep in the creature’s skull like those of a dead fish caught up in reverential prayer. It had long arms and legs, feet with grossly disfigured toes that jutted out like a bundle of straw. Its arms hung so the creature’s massive knuckles dragged across the ground as it walked, its dull-gray head swaying from side to side as it drooled, its tongue vibrating at a fever pitch against the roof of its mouth while it wheezed heavily, the bones of its spine moving up and down as if they were rearticulating themselves with every labored movement.

  The disgusting grimpon moved by stretching its arms forward, then pressing its palms against the ground in an almost apelike fas
hion. The grimpon clicked its tongue and lumbered its way toward Suzuki and Beth.

  The light went out, and Suzuki realized that the brief flash had come from the grimpon. Its skin must have been bioluminescent. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, but with the current situation, it was more likely a way to secure its prey.

  Suzuki struggled against the hardened fluid holding him in place. It felt like the more he moved, the tougher the gelatinous goop covering his body became. Or it could have been reacting to the presence of the grimpon, which was now close enough that Suzuki could smell its breath, a rancid, foul scent that reeked of rotting flesh, decay, and something frighteningly sweet. The grimpon took Suzuki’s head in its oversized hand, its cold, wet flesh sticking to Suzuki’s face. Its fingertips had large suction cups that clung to Suzuki’s face as he tried to turn it away. The creature was stronger, though. It forced Suzuki’s face forward as its skin lit up again, casting a sickly yellow glow across the vast underground room. The grimpon stared into Suzuki’s eyes as it ran its fingers over his face, each suction cup sucking Suzuki’s face. He felt the suction cup puncture his skin as the grimpon pried Suzuki’s mouth open with its other finger.

  The grimpon forced its searching fingertip into Suzuki’s mouth as Suzuki gagged. Suzuki bit down as hard as could, but the grimpon didn’t seem to mind. The only sign that it acknowledged Suzuki’s teeth was a quiet moan that escaped its mouth and the increasing brightness of its glowing skin as it clicked its tongue. The grimpon opened Suzuki’s mouth with its other hand and tried to force both of its hands down Suzuki’s throat while he tried to keep from vomiting, the sickly-sweet smell from the grimpon wafting into his nose, making him feel dizzy but surprisingly awake and alert. He was getting used to the grimpon’s hands in his mouth, propping his tongue, gently piercing the sides of his mouth.