Moonshine Wizard

by Phillip Drayer Duncan

  Allie nodded her agreement and continued listening. Bert nodded as well, “Okay, and Lilith?”

  “Well, she doesn’t seem comfortable being girly, I guess. I don’t know how else to put it.”

  “Hmm,” Bert said. “Do you think that’s a bad thing?”

  “Not necessarily.” Liz shook her head. “She just strikes me as kind of odd. Maybe she just doesn’t spend a lot of time around other girls. She’s nice, though. You should go for it.”

  “Yeah, Bert,” Allie said. “You’re a great guy and obviously you care about her. Just tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t go for it then it’s her loss.”

  Bert glanced up and saw that Lilith was headed back his direction. Allie and Liz hopped up and returned to their original seats, freeing Lilith’s spot. But before she got back, Simon rose, and said, “All right, guys, it’s been great, but I’ve got to hit the road.”

  “Come on, man,” Jim said, rising as well. “You just got here. We haven’t seen you in years!”

  “No joke,” Neil added. “You can’t bail on us already.”

  Kevin said, “You haven’t told us where you’ve been, or what you’ve been doing all these years.”

  “I know guys,” Simon said, sighing. “But we’ll have to do it another time. I’ve really got to go.”

  He moved around the circle, saying his goodbyes, shaking hands, and giving out hugs, but when he got around to Bert he said, “Hey, Bert, I didn’t get to visit with you at all. Mind walking out with me?”

  “Sure,” Bert replied, rising to walk alongside him.

  They walked in silence, but the moment they rounded the corner to the front of the house, Bert summoned his sword and staff. They sailed through the house, hit the latch on the screen door, came outside, and flew straight into his hands.

  Simon took a step back and held up his hands defensively. “Woah, Bert, it’s not like that.”

  “Oh, it’s not?” he replied with a cold glare.

  “No,” Simon assured him. “You’re like a brother to me.”

  “A brother who threatens my life?”

  “Bert, I didn’t know it would come to this. I understand why you’re angry, but I’m not your enemy.”

  “From where I’m standing, that’s exactly what you are.”

  Simon hung his head. “I hoped you wouldn’t see it that way.”

  “How should I see it, then?”

  Simon paused for a moment and said, “That we’re allies. If we work together we can figure this thing out. Once Nero has the object we’ll leave you alone. You can go on with life, and I’ll go back to mine.”

  “And what if I don’t find it?” Bert asked, meeting Simon’s gaze. “Are you going to be the one to come kill me? Or are you going to let your new family do it?”

  “It won’t come to that,” Simon said. “I know you. You’ll find it.”

  Bert laughed. If only he knew about all the other assholes who wanted it. He sighed. He was probably going to die soon, and despite the fact it may be by Simon’s hand, he didn’t really want to be enemies either. Quietly, he asked, “Why are you with those people, Simon?”

  “I don’t know, Bert.” He shrugged and lowered his head again. “I didn’t want to live under the scrutiny of the Hand. I couldn’t. I knew I’d fall eventually, and I couldn’t bear the thought of taking you guys with me.”

  “Oh, well, that plan worked out great, didn’t it?”

  “Obviously not, but that’s why I left. I roamed for a while and eventually met Nero. He took me in, and trained me like the others. Made me part of the family. I’m far more powerful than I ever was before, and I have a place where I belong. I believe in his cause, Bert. I’ve never had a moment of doubt—”

  “Until now?” Bert asked, cutting him off.

  Simon nodded. “I never thought I’d see any of you guys again. I’m sorry, Bert. Truly.”

  “It’s not too late, Simon,” Bert said. “We all want you to come home.”

  “It is too late,” Simon said, laughing. “I’ve gone rogue. What do you think Carter will do if he catches me? At the least, I’d be imprisoned. More likely, he’d kill me outright.”

  “Then why are you really here?” Bert asked. “I doubt Nero would let you come for a burger.”

  “You’re right. I’m here to give you a message. You’re running out of time.”

  “Right,” Bert replied, grinning. “Let me take a wild stab… Tomorrow by midnight?”

  “Yeah,” Simon said, giving him a skeptical look. “How’d you know?”

  “I’m more powerful too, Simon,” Bert said. “So, I guess this is it, old friend.”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” Simon said, sticking out his hand. “From this point on…”

  “I know,” Bert replied, taking his hand. “We’re on opposite sides of the fence.”

  Still holding Bert’s grip, Simon said, “Only if you don’t come through. If not...”

  “Then the next time we meet, it won’t be as friends. I know how it works, asshole.”

  Simon let go of his hand and stepped toward his car, his dark eyes sorrowful. “I’ll see you soon, Bert.”

  “Maybe not,” Bert replied. “There’s always a chance I could get hit by a bus, or maybe, I don’t know, get murdered by a psychotic clown before the next time you see me. There’s only one thing I can say for sure.”

  “What’s that?” Simon asked as he got in the car.

  “If we’re enemies the next time we meet, you’d better hope you’re right about being more powerful.”

  Simon didn’t reply, and Bert watched his tail lights disappear down the driveway, waiting as a new vehicle approached from the other direction. He was surprised to find it was Robert.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Robert said, hopping out. “Dealing with a sick kid, you know?”

  “Not really.”

  “I guess you wouldn’t,” Robert said, then raised an eyebrow. “Is there a reason you’re standing out here with your sword and staff?”

  Bert glanced at the weapons in his hands and repeated, “Not really.”

  He strapped them to his back and made them disappear. “Let’s go get you a burger and a beer.”

  Robert gave him a skeptical look, but followed. As they walked toward the back Robert asked, “Have you had any more trouble with the Brotherhood?”

  Bert stopped, looking at his friend. “You haven’t heard?”

  “Heard what?”

  Bert shrugged. “Meh, I’ll let Jim or Kevin tell you. They weave a better story than me.”

  Robert might’ve pushed the subject, but they were within earshot of the others, so he let it drop and headed toward the food table.

  Bert found his chair again, and for a while managed to enjoy the company of his friends without dwelling on his impending doom. At some point the boys wandered from the fire while the girls jeered at them for having a ‘man pow.’ The boys didn’t mind. They’d heard it all before.

  Once they were out of earshot, Robert couldn’t contain himself and asked, “So, what’s new?”

  “Hunter’s a were-bear!” Neil said, before anyone else could speak.

  Robert’s eyes widened, but not nearly as much as Hunter’s, and Bert realized Hunter still didn’t know Robert was a wizard too. Hunter’s face turned red with embarrassment, but his eyes turned cold onto Neil. Neil returned his look with an innocent smile and a gave Hunter a defensive shrug.

  “It’s all right, Hunter,” Bert said. “Robert is one of us.”

  Hunter gave Robert a questioning look. “I thought you said you were in the military?”

  “I was,” Robert said. “Just not in the military you know. I was in the Hand of Magic’s military.”

  “So, you’re a wizard too?”

  “Yeah...and apparently you’re a were-bear.”

  “That’s what I’m told.”

  “Let’s come back to that,” Robert said, glaring at the others. “I want to know about the Brotherhood.”
/>
  Before anyone could answer, Liz yelled for Bert from the house. He shrugged and said, “Someone fill him in. I’ll be back.”

  He headed back toward the house, and as he got closer, Liz said, “There’s some guy on the phone for you.”

  “He say who he was?”

  “No. He wouldn’t say. Just said that he needed to speak to you.”

  Bert shrugged and headed inside. The old rotary phone they kept in the house was lying off the hook. He scooped it up and said, “This is Waylon.”

  The voice on the other end sounded familiar. “Your number wasn’t easy to find, Mr. Drake.”

  “Yeah, that’s intentional. Who is this?”

  “You don’t remember? That hurts... We met at Fangs.”

  Then he remembered. The crummy mob accent should’ve given it away. “Ah, I remember,” he said. “No, I haven’t found it yet. Yes, I will find it. Yes, I know I’m running out of time. And yes, I know you’ll kill me if I don’t. That pretty much cover everything?”

  “I like you, kid,” the man said, chuckling. “It’s going to be a shame if I have to kill you.”

  “Likewise,” Bert said in an amiable tone.

  The man cackled again and said, “You have until tomorrow at midnight. You’ll hear from us soon.”

  Then all he heard was dial tone. He set it back on the hook, shaking his head. Obviously, whoever had ‘recommended’ him had also recommended the time table. Like a practical joke with a shitty punch line.

  He went back outside to find that the guys were back to loitering around the fire. Robert gave him a hard look and spoke with his mind. “That’s some dangerous shit you guys got involved in. You’re lucky to be alive.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “I am. The guys said you don’t know why they attacked the Underbelly.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Something tells me that isn’t completely true.”

  Bert paused, unsure what to say. He didn’t want to lie. He hated lying, and more than anything, he hated lying to his friends. He looked back up at Robert and sighed. “I’m not at liberty to say more.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” he said, nodding. The look on his face told Bert that he understood the situation, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “Whatever it is, you’re playing a dangerous game, Bert.”

  “I know.”

  Robert stood up and spoke aloud. “Well, gang, I guess I ought to go. Got a sick kid at home.”

  Robert said his goodbyes and took off. A few minutes later Hunter and Allie did the same. Just after they left, Neil approached Bert, along with Kevin and Jim, and asked to speak with him privately. Once again, they stepped away from the fire.

  When they were alone Bert asked, “What’s up, Neil?”

  Neil was silent for a few moments, a thoughtful look on his face. Finally he said, “So we’ve been talking… We think you know more than you’re letting on. We think you’re hiding something.”

  Bert looked at each of them in turn, noting the solemn intent in their eyes.

  “Look, Bert,” Jim said, forcing a smile. “If you know what’s going on… We just feel like we have a right to know why we almost got killed today.”

  “I don’t know what to say, guys,” Bert said.

  “Son of a bitch!” Neil rasped, trying not to scream. His eyes blazed with fury. “You do know something! You fucking asshole!”

  “I don’t know exactly,” Bert said, trying to stay even keeled. “But, yes, I know a little, but not—”

  “You fucking bastard,” Neil growled. “How could you not tell us?”

  “Neil, I didn’t knowingly walk you into that. I had no idea the Brotherhood was going to attack.”

  “But you knew something,” he said, crossing his arms. “Just like when we asked you about the Autumn Woe. You knew then, too. And you lied to us.’

  “I’m under orders from the Hand to not tell anyone.”

  “Oh, fuck the Hand,” Neil said, shaking his head. “We’re your friends. The ones who’ve always had your back. The ones who almost got killed today. So don’t give me that bullshit about the Hand.”

  “Neil, if I thought, for a second there was something I could’ve told you that would’ve made a difference, don’t you think I would have?”

  “I have kids, you selfish fuck,” Neil said, ignoring him. “You want them to grow up without a father? How do I know those bastards won’t come looking for us? You want my kids to be the ones lying dead in the dirt?”

  His words stabbed into Bert’s heart like a knife. “Neil, I’d never do anything to hurt your family... I would protect them with my life.”

  Neil paused for a moment, his face still burning with anger. He glared at Bert, and for a moment, Bert thought he was going to hit him. Instead, Neil said, “My family doesn’t need your protection. In case you hadn’t noticed, the rest of us decided to grow up and move on. If you want to keep acting like a child and running into danger like a swinging dick, that’s fine. If you want to get yourself killed, that’s fine too. But as for me, and my family, the best you can do is keep your destructive ass the fuck away.”

  He stormed off without another word, and an awkward silence fell among the others. Bert watched him go, pushing down his own anger and hurt. He couldn’t blame him. If the roles were reversed, he didn’t know if he’d react any differently. Neil was every bit as stubborn and pig-headed as he was, and over the years, they’d had their fair share of quarrels, but not once, not ever, had Neil told him to stay away from his family. And now, with little more than a day before his scheduled execution, there wasn’t time to fix it. He’d die with Neil hating him, and that, that, was what broke his heart the most. And it was his own fault.

  Jim cleared his throat and said, “Don’t take it too harshly. He’s just upset.”

  Bert nodded but didn’t respond.

  “You know,” Jim continued. “I think it’s just that the rest of us have tried to establish normal lives. We’ve given up the whole wizard thing. Especially Neil. He’s married and has two kids. I just think it scares him.”

  “I know, Jim,” Bert replied. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry.”

  Jim adjusted his glasses and forced a smile. “I know you are, and I know you wouldn’t intentionally put us in danger like that. Neil knows it too. But…”

  “Yeah?” Bert asked, dread crawling up his gut. He knew where this was going.

  “I don’t want to die in some supernatural war zone,” he said, looking away. “Today showed me that. The things we saw down there… That boy in the street… There’s more to life than this. I want to get married, too. Start a family. We can’t do this anymore. Neil and I talked about it. We’re out. From now on, you’re on your own. And I don’t know if we can keep hanging out while you’re still in. It’s too dangerous.”

  “I understand,” Bert said, nodding.

  “All right,” Jim said, giving him a weak smile. “I’m going to try to talk to Neil if he hasn’t left. Then I’m going home for some much needed sleep.”

  “Okay, man,” Bert said. “Be careful.”

  Jim nodded then turned away. Bert stood where he was and kicked the dirt at his feet, fighting back a desire to lie down and die. Or, at the very least, curl up in a ball and cry. He was so overwhelmed with his own dark thoughts he forgot Kevin was still there.

  “I don’t have a family,” Kevin said, spitting on the ground.

  Bert glanced up at him.

  Kevin shrugged. “I’ve still got your back.”

  Bert felt a twitch of a real smile. Kevin was a rock. He’d go into Hell and back for one of his friends.

  “Thanks, man.” Bert sighed. “But Jim’s right. If nothing else, you need to sit this one out.”

  Kevin shrugged again.

  “I’m serious,” Bert replied. “Kevin, chances are, I’m not walking out of this one alive.”

  Kevin met his gaze and gave him a solemn nod. “If that’s t
rue, then I reckon you’d better go talk to Lilith.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve been pining over her for years,” he said. “If you’re about to die, then you’d better make a move.”

  Kevin turned and started walking back toward the house, then glanced back over his shoulder. “If you die, can I still live here?”

  “Of course,” Bert replied.

  Kevin nodded and headed for the house. Bert stood there a few moments longer. Kevin was right. It was time to take a chance with Lilith. Still feeling the pangs of Neil’s words, he didn’t know if he was in the right frame of mind. It didn’t matter. There was no time to waste.

  ***

  When he got back to the house, Neil and Jim were both already gone. He wasn’t sure where Kevin had made it off to, either. Lilith was in the kitchen. He decided he wasn’t quite ready to talk to her yet and instead headed into his room. He placed Sharp and his staff in their spot in the corner and activated their veil.

  A moment later, Lilith stepped in and smiled at him, melting away the confidence he’d built. She still wore the black dress, and he felt his cheeks flush just looking at her. She was beautiful.

  “There you are,” she said, closing the door behind her.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to disappear on you,” he said, forcing a smile that felt stupid on his face.

  “It’s all right,” she said, shrugging. She sat down on his bed and motioned for him to join her. He sat down beside her and found himself intoxicated by the sweet aroma of her perfume. She looked at him and he felt his mouth go dry. His palms were sweaty and his heart pounded in his chest like a drum.

  Her brows furrowed in concern and she said, “What is it, Bert?”

  “Well, uh,” he wasn’t sure how to start, “You know, um... We’ve known each other a long time... And um... You know...”

  “What is it?” she asked, staring into his eyes.

  He gulped and tried to calm his nerves, but goosebumps were already running across his arms. The hair on the back of his neck stood at attention. It was almost laughable. In the past few days he’d faced dark wizards, crazy occultists with big guns, pissed off were-dogs, hipsters, and even the clowns. Was Lilith more terrifying than the clowns? Yes, she absolutely was.