Moonshine Wizard

by Phillip Drayer Duncan

One of those smiling faces was indeed waiting for him. Just outside the entrance to the cave, a clown lay dead on the ground, still grinning like an asshole. Even dead the bastards were creepy.

  Bert glanced over the cliff side. Two more bodies floated in the frigid water below. Not clowns, though. They looked human. Were-puppies, perhaps? Or Brotherhood dicks?

  Forgetting the corpses, he headed inside the cave and began drawing energy. His sword and staff in his hands, he moved through the silent darkness, trying not to shiver. It was cold and damp inside, no doubt a result of being so close to the lake. But it smelled like burnt sulfur. A smell he knew all too well.

  Approaching the spot where he’d seen Lilith, he knew he was alone and summoned an illumination spell to the end of his staff, casting a soft light over the area around him. Bodies lay strung out across the floor. He was amazed he hadn’t tripped over them.

  “Sharp,” he said. “I can’t look…”

  “She’s not here,” Sharp replied. “Two clowns, three vampires, three were-critters. Plus, the two clowns outside and the two were-critters in the lake. A lot of bodies, but no Lilith.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Of course. The vampires are the ones in the motorcycle helmets, FYI.”

  Bert nodded. There was a chance she was still alive. “So, if all the factions are homing in on her, does that mean the object is losing power?”

  “Perhaps,” Sharp said. “Or, she may just be wearing herself down trying to keep hidden. Either way, I’m guessing that the big bad mages who are after her got through and reached out to their little Boy Scouts with the location. Chances are, if she got away, they can pinpoint her again if she, or the device, is still weak.”

  Bert headed back out of the cave and studied the area around him. If her power was limited, then she would’ve tried to escape on foot instead of teleporting. And unless she’d gone invisible, which also would’ve wasted energy, he’d have seen her on the trail. Which meant she’d backtracked long before he arrived, or she’d gone another way. But her pursuers would’ve been on the trail and he doubted she’d intentionally dive into the freezing water unless she had no other choice.

  But she did have another choice, he realized, looking up. The cliff face above him was thirty or forty feet up. Simple enough for a wizard with any skill in amplifying their own jumps. He’d jumped higher to escape the were-pups’ club house. Summoning energy, he launched himself to the top, trying to ignore the stinging bite of the cold autumn air.

  He was still in the forest, but had a clear view of the lake and the small town of Beaver across from him. He scanned the distant terrain, checking the town and the long bridge for any signs of Lilith. There was no one in sight, and he was about to give up when a nearby gunshot echoed through the hills. He ran.

  The frigid air burned his lungs, but he pressed on, kicking up dead leaves and twigs as he ran. The hill slopped downward, making his path more treacherous, but the sounds of battle drew nearer with each footfall. Another gunshot. A man’s scream. A dog’s yelp. He was getting close.

  There was a break in the trees, and up ahead he saw them, battling in front of the old bridge. She’d probably thought to cross it when they’d caught up with her. Were-creatures and vampires surrounded her, but thankfully, he didn’t see any clowns. And, the suckheads and were-dicks seemed equally as interested in killing each other as they were in killing her. That was all right with him.

  Bert charged into the fray, hurling a lightning bolt into the back of a vampire. It hit the suckhead in the back and dropped two nearby dogs as well. The closest vampire spun on him, but before he could react, Bert swung Sharp through his neck and kept moving. A dog dove at him, but he bashed it in the head with his staff, knocking it aside with a yelp. Ready with another lightning bolt, he blasted another vampire from his feet and came to a stop beside Lilith.

  “Bert!” Lilith said, risking him a glance. “Get the hell out of here!”

  “Oh, hi Lilith. Nice to see you too.”

  “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, scowling.

  “Well,” he said, pausing to fire another lightning bolt at a were-Dalmatian. “Clearly, I’m trying to rescue you. It’s very heroic.”

  “I don’t need you to rescue me. This doesn’t involve you. Leave!”

  “Wrong,” he replied. “I’ve had ass-hats threatening to kill me all week because somebody stole something. Sound familiar? Spoiler alert! Turns it out that somebody was in my goddamned house the whole time!” His shield blocked an incoming bullet and he fired back a lightning bolt at the shooter. “And furthermore, based purely on the numbers, it appears you do need rescuing.”

  She glared at him and raised her staff into the air. Her eyes turned bright violet and a moment later, purple energy burst from the end of her staff, seeking out each of their foes and burning them alive in grape colored flames. In a matter of moments, their enemies were scattered piles of ashes. They didn’t smell grape flavored. More like spit roasted vampire and burnt dog hair.

  “Well, okay, maybe you don’t need me to rescue you,” he said, turning toward her. “But I’m still heroic.”

  She crossed her arms and glared at him, and for the first time he saw the object of power that everyone had their panties bunched up about. It was wrapped around her slender arm, encircling her flesh like vines made of ebony. From her forearm, they wove down her arm, over her wrist, and even between her fingers. And the vines were covered in sharp prickly thorns. Crimson dripped from the end of her fingers and he realized the thorns weren’t just for show, but were actually buried into her flesh, securing the object to her. Like the biblical Crown of Thorns turned into a slap bracelet. Well, he thought, that explained the cuts on her arm.

  Her eyes followed his. “See? I don’t need your help. Please stay out of this.”

  “What is that thing?” Bert asked. “And why are so many assholes looking for it?”

  “Bert, I’m sorry,” she said, ignoring his question and turning away. “I have to leave now.”

  For a moment, he thought his heart would explode right out of his chest. His legs trembled and he tried to take a step toward her but couldn’t. A wave of nausea swept over him and he thought he might vomit. His head throbbed with tension and he struggled to fight down the pain. Damnit, he thought, I’m too old for this lovesick bullshit. Yet, the pain remained.

  “H…How?” He stammered, his mouth dry and tasting of bile. He forced himself to face her.

  “What?” she asked, glancing back at him.

  The sound of her voice tightened the vise around his heart like a wrench. His emotions were out of control and he felt on the verge of panic. He blinked back the moisture in his eyes, ignoring the sting. Was he crying? He met her gaze and said, “How could you do this to me?”

  She dropped his gaze and looked down.

  “Answer me,” he said, not recognizing his own voice. It sounded coarse and foreign.

  “I don’t know what to say, Bert,” she said, still not looking at him.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know? For fuck sake… I love you, Lilith.”

  “I love you too, Bert,” she replied, crying.

  The moisture from his eyes ran downs his cheeks. There was no denying it now. He was crying. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d wept. It felt awkward and strange. Definitely not heroic.

  “How do I know that’s not another lie?” he asked, his voice rising. “What the hell is this, Lilith?”

  “I know it doesn’t make sense,” she replied. “But you have to believe that… I do love you.”

  “You were lying the entire time! And I knew it. Deep down, my instincts screamed that it wasn’t real, but like the damned fool I am, I fell for it.”

  “It was real.” The floodgates opened and she sobbed miserably. “Please, Bert. Please forgive me.”

  “It doesn’t feel real,” he said choking on the words. “It feels like it was all lies.”

  “I’m sorr
y... Please... Bert...” she whimpered.

  “Just tell me what the hell is really going on,” he said, sighing. “I want to know the truth.”

  Still, she wouldn’t make eye contact, and even as hurt as he was, he couldn’t stand to see her cry.

  “I’ve made so many mistakes,” she said, wiping her nose. “Since I’ve been gone. I’ve done things, Bert. Bad things.”

  “Tell me,” he said, a dark anger burning through him. He knew he didn’t want to know, but he had to. He had to hear her story. As much as she’d tell.

  “I’m a rogue mage, Bert,” she said. “By Hand law, I’m a dark wizard. They’d kill me. I joined other dark wizards. I learned things… I did things…”

  “Like what?”

  “Things... Dark magic… Sex... Some I chose at first, but as I ended up with more wizards I had no choice. I was passed around like a piece of meat. I was raped. Tortured. Used in dark rituals… I’ve seen things…”

  She paused, and he realized he’d hadn’t taken a breath while she spoke. Forcing air into his lungs, he said, “Go on.”

  “I was in too deep. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to escape. I knew they wouldn’t let me leave. I was a pet. A play thing… But I couldn’t do it anymore.” She finally forced her gaze to his, her eyes begging for his forgiveness, but when she found none, she continued, “I was at this fortress. It’s on another planet. I don’t even know where. It doesn’t matter. They train wizards there. Dark wizards.”

  “That’s not possible,” he said. “There are no dark wizard training camps.”

  “There is,” she said firmly. “I was there, Bert.”

  “Then how did you escape?”

  “One of the masters,” she said, looking away. “He came for me, like he always did. I pleased him. I did what he wanted. I pretended I enjoyed it. When he fell asleep I grabbed this and snuck away.” She motioned to the object melded against her arm, her blood still dripping from the thorns. “I just had to get away. I thought it could keep me hidden. I thought if I kept moving… I even thought about turning myself over to the Hand. Using what I know as leverage for mercy. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face the consequences. I was too scared, and now… Now the dark wizards are closing in on me. I knew I didn’t have much time, so…”

  “So?” he asked.

  “So, I wanted to see the only friend I had left,” she said. “Before they caught me, I wanted to see you one last time. I wanted to tell you how I feel. How I’ve always felt. I love you, Bert,”

  He didn’t respond.

  “I know I was wrong,” she said. “And I know that everything that’s happened to me is my own fault. But I didn’t mean to bring my problems to you. I didn’t even know you were a wizard.”

  “Holy fuck bubbles,” he said, unsure what else to say. “All the things you’ve done, and you really expect me to believe you love me? You’ve broken my fucking heart, Lilith. I feel like an idiot.”

  “No, Bert, please,” she said, taking a step closer. “These few days with you… Our moments together. That meant everything to me. You’re the only person I have left.”

  “Lucky me,” he replied, spitting on the gravel.

  “Please don’t hate me,” she said. “I hate myself enough for both us. Please…”

  “I don’t know what to say.” He turned and looked out toward the lake. “There’s only one thing you can do.”

  “That’s not an option now. I’ve gone too far. They’ll kill me.”

  He turned back toward her. “Lilith, I’ve met some of your enemies. They will kill you. Or worse, they’ll drag you back to whatever hell you ran from. I don’t like it either, but the Hand is your only chance.”

  “No.”

  “They can protect you.”

  “Or they can execute me. Or strip me of my powers. Or cast me out where the masters will find me.”

  “So, what then? Keep running? That isn’t working out so well.”

  “It’s the only choice,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve already gotten you mixed up in this enough. I have to get as far away as possible. It’s the only way to keep you safe. Once I leave they’ll forget about you.”

  “Or they’ll make good on their threats and kill me and all my friends.”

  “No, they won’t. They just want me. Once I’m gone they’ll follow.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” he said. “So, that’s it? You’ll just keep running until they catch you? You wanted out. This is your only chance. It’s the best I can do and I’m not even sure you deserve it.”

  “You want me to die?” she asked. “Because that’s what you’re asking.”

  “No, Lilith,” he said. “I want you to live. Stop being a selfish coward and listen!”

  “Why?” she asked, tears forming around her eyes again. “I can see it on your face, Waylon. You hate me. It’s better I just go off and die alone.”

  “Lilith, I won’t let you go.”

  “My decision is made,” she said coldly. “As yours is about me... I’m leaving.”

  Bert’s heart wrenched again and he stepped forward. “No. Lilith. Damnit. I can help you.”

  “No, you can’t,” she said, wiping away the tears.

  He studied her face, knowing that despite the hurt she’d caused, he’d still give anything to save her. “Please…”

  She shook her head.

  He moved closer, his eyes blazing blue with energy he hadn’t even realized he’d summoned. “I’m not letting you go.”

  “You can’t stop me,” she said.

  It wasn’t a threat, but a simple statement of fact. And he knew it was true. Still, he moved toward her.

  She raised her staff, pointed at him, and fired a spell. With the help of the thorns, his shield was no match for her power, and violet light washed over him, holding him in place. Then his feet were lifted off the ground and he realized he was levitating.

  “Goodbye, Waylon Drake,” she said, tears flowing once again. “I’ll always love you.”

  Before he could respond, his body was sailing through the air, end over end. He came to an abrupt halt in mid-air and held suspended like an astronaut in zero-gravity. Glancing down, he realized he was hovering over the middle of the lake. He looked back to the bank, caught one last glimpse of Lilith, and then he fell.

  The impact knocked the air from his lungs as he sunk into the abyss. The freezing cold attacked him from all sides as he drifted toward the bottom. Some part of his brain demanded that he fight to get back to the surface, but another part of him just didn’t care. He felt his body press against the soft mud at the bottom and wondered if it would pull him in and entomb him in the lake.

  Perhaps I should just stay down here and die, he thought. It was quiet. Peaceful. Down there in the frigid depths, there were no clowns, or vampires, or were-critters, or even hipsters. His heartbreak had come with him, but that couldn’t be helped, and if he stayed long enough it’d be gone along with everything else. What was the point of it all? He couldn’t save Lilith. His friends had lost faith in him. His world was falling apart.

  From somewhere in his mind, he heard Sharp calling out to him, and kind of wished he had an internal brain answering machine.

  “Bert,” the sword said. “You’ve got to move.”

  “Go away.”

  “Uh, no,” the sword said. “You’re not leaving me down here to rust.”

  “Fuck off, Sharp,” Bert replied.

  “No,” Sharp replied firmly. “Are you really giving up now? Is that who you are?”

  Bert didn’t reply.

  “I thought you were better than this, Bert.”

  “Well, I’m not,” he replied.

  “Yes, you are,” Sharp replied. “Why do you think I chose you? Why do you think I’ve stuck with you this long? Because you aren’t a coward. You don’t give up when it gets tough. You curse, make bad jokes, and keep moving. That’s what you do, Waylon. I’ve stuck with you because I bel
ieve in you, you stupid man-child. And maybe Lilith broke your heart, but if you stay down here and die, there’s no way you’re going to save her. There’s no way you’re going to save your friends.”

  Bert gritted his teeth. Sharp was right. It wasn’t like him to lie down and die. Fuck that. It wasn’t who he was. And it sure as hell wasn’t how he was going out.

  Summoning energy, he slammed power beneath him and shot toward the surface like a missile. He sucked in cold air as he broke the surface, and continued upward…and further upward. Damn, he thought, glancing back down at the water. He’d really overshot his jump, and once more, he was airborne over the lake. A moment later he crashed back down into the water and hit the bottom again, but this time, the water was only waist deep and he’d landed closer to the bank.

  He pulled himself up and tromped toward the shoreline, scanning for Lilith.

  She was gone.

  Chapter 38

  Alone on the bank, Bert scanned the countryside for any sign of Lilith. She wasn’t in sight, but ahead in the hills he caught a glimpse of a pack of dogs. And on the other side of the bridge he saw what looked suspiciously like a gaggle of hipsters. All of the factions were closing in. He needed to hurry.

  “Any ideas, Sharp?” Bert asked.

  “On which direction Miss Happy went? No.”

  “I doubt she teleported. Her slap bracelet hasn’t had time to charge up yet. If it was ready to teleport I never would’ve caught up with her in the first place.”

  “I’d say that’s a fair guess,” Sharp replied. “She’s using most of the magic to try to hide herself. If it was fully charged, she could teleport and have no trouble amplifying her hide spell. The prickly thing needs more time to recharge. Unless she can create a wicked magic circle like we did. Or if she has something big enough to help channel energy. Then maybe she could escape.”

  Bert paused. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, if you had something big enough to push energy through, it could draw it in and amplify it. Just like a magic circle in theory. Her magical abilities aren’t likely much stronger than yours, so she’d need something pretty damn big.”