“You’re looking good yourself,” I said, the understatement of the year. Twenty-three, I thought to myself, and every year he just looks better. Older guys still did it for me. I couldn’t explain it; it had always been that way.
We retrieved my bags and headed for the exit.
“We’re spending the night in Denver,” Harper said then. “Just you and me. I told everyone I wanted some time with my best man who I have not seen in a while. I got us a hotel.”
I let this sink in.
“You hungry?”
I was. I had expected to be fed on the plane, but the flight attendants never got around to it. They kept saying they were expecting turbulence, but there had been no turbulence. Or food.
“Yeah.”
“Good. I know a place you’re going to like.”
Harper was driving a car now. A new one.
“This yours?”
“Yeah. You like it?”
“I do. I do like it.”
“It’s kind of a family car, you know. Planning for the future. Little Nathan will be riding in the back seat one of these days. I hope. I’ve got to have a boy.”
I just smiled at that thought, Harper with his son. That was going to be one lucky kid. I envied him. I wished I could grow up all over again with Harper as my dad.
We ate and drove around Denver a while. Harper showed me the stadium where the Rockies played. We even got to go inside because a buddy of his worked in the grounds crew. That was awesome. We went to an old dilapidated amusement park where the rides were very cheap and also very scary, not for their speed or heights or twists and turns but because I was never sure if the whole structure might collapse while we were riding. The roller coasters were the old wooden kind and gave us both a bit of sore neck, but they were fun.
Often as we sat in the rides waiting for them to begin, Harper would put his arm across my shoulders. When we rode the ferris wheel, he kept his arm across my shoulders the whole time, and when we were stopped at the very top for the cars at the bottom to reload, admiring the view of the city in front of us, city and distance, Harper leaned over and kissed me, on the mouth, exploring to see if I wanted his tongue, which I did.
We didn’t talk about it. And we didn’t talk about his wedding either. We just talked about little things. About the city, about baseball, about what we were doing at the moment and what we were going to do next. I’ll hand it to him. Harper had planned a great day for us. I enjoyed every minute of it, and I have to thank him for giving me yet another of the most wonderful days of my life.
And nights as well.
Chapter 49
We had stopped by the hotel earlier, after we ate, just long enough to use the restroom and brush our teeth and for me to wash my face. For some reason it felt dirty after being on the airplane.
The first thing I noticed when we entered the room was it had one king bed, not two doubles.
Check.
It was late when we returned to the hotel after our afternoon and evening of exploring Denver, and we had a busy day ahead of us. I expected that, despite what Harper had written on my card, and despite what the king bed and ferris wheel kiss suggested, we might just shower and go to sleep. I was tired enough that it wouldn’t have mattered to me much.
Or am I lying to myself when I say that?
“You want the shower first?” Harper asked.
“Doesn’t matter.”
He looked at a clock.
“It’s late. Let’s take one together to save time.”
I had never thought of doing that with someone. Being an only child, baths and showers had always been a private matter, except at school after gym class. I wondered if the Air Force had gotten Harper used to a certain lack of privacy. He had probably seen enough naked male bodies to last him a life time.
“Sure,” I said.
We undressed, checking each other out and not trying to hide it, ran the water in the shower until it was temperate, and got in.
Within seconds Harper’s tongue was in my mouth again, he was caressing me, hugging me, his erection pressed against my stomach, mine against his.
“Little buddy,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ve missed you.”
“You’re getting married,” I said. The finality of that still oppressed me. I was hoping he might tell me, no, he had changed his mind. But he didn’t.
“Yeah, and this is my real bachelor party,” he said. “Just you and me. Because two days from now, I’ll never be able to do this again. This is what bachelor parties are for.”
I was his best friend and best man and his bachelor party and the godfather to his future son. It was something.
For the first time ever, Harper’s hands were all over me. It wasn’t just me this time. It was a mutual seduction.
“I thought you had grown out of this,” I said.
He had been nibbling my ear, sticking his tongue in and licking the inside of my ear, but he drew his head back to look me in the eye as he said:
“Sometimes you shouldn’t believe me.”
I didn’t know what to say. It explained this. This moment. But it unanswered so many questions I thought I had an answer to. Now I was just confounded.
But happy in the moment.
We scrubbed each other’s bodies, dried each other’s backs, turned all the lights off except a soft light in the corner of the room, and climbed in bed.
“You ready to make me honor my promise?” Harper asked.
“I’m ready.”
“I’m yours.”
Those two words made me want to cry. Because I knew before we began this was one moment in time, and Harper may be mine tonight, but Harper was not mine.
“Mine,” I repeated.
“All yours. Every inch of me.”
“I like that.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Everything we’ve never done.”
“That might take a while.”
“Then we better get started.”
I had never thought that Harper would ever allow me to make love to him, me on top, but he did. I fucked him first, and he seemed not to mind, though I wasn’t sure at first if he was enjoying it or just fulfilling an obligation.
I quite enjoyed it myself. Putting my hands all over his muscular body and kissing him passionately while fucking his virgin bubble butt was ecstasy. And by the time I came, it was obvious he was into it too.
Then it was his turn, and as I always expected, despite the fact that in the past I had been the active one and he had just submitted to my hands and mouth, this was the most natural alignment for us. Harper made love to me like it was the most important thing he’d ever done, as if it would be the one moment of pure happiness in his life, as if he himself had been waiting three years for this moment. And then I realized something. Two things, actually.
First, that Harper had been saving himself for marriage, but it was me, not his wife, who had just been given the gift of taking his virginity.
Second, that while I may have been waiting three years for this moment, Harper had been waiting five. Somehow I knew that now.
“You were right,” I told him as he slowly moved his loins to thrust his cock inside me again and again. “You said that once we really had sex, I would know it. Well, you were right.”
Harper just kissed me again. And again. And continued to fuck me, and continued to fuck me, and continued to fuck me. He would shoot then stay inside me, kissing me and loving me until he was hard again, then he repeated the process. He obviously was serious about this being a one-time thing, and he wanted it to last as long as he could keep it going. He had his cock inside me for more than an hour and a half, during which he came four times.
When we finally had as much of each other as we could reasonably get in one night, when the clock told us that if we wanted to get any sleep at all we better start now, Harper figured out when we would need to get up in order to be on time to our first engagement the next day and set the alarm.<
br />
“Set it thirty minutes earlier than that,” I told him.
“Why?”
I just looked at him.
“Oh.”
For thirty minutes the next morning, we repeated the dance of the sheets, Harper clutching me, kissing me, loving me, and me loving him completely right back. After waiting so long, we held nothing back except that I was careful not to leave any marks for his wedding day.
“Was it worth the wait, little buddy?” he asked me.
“It was worth the wait.”
“You’re actually not so little anymore.”
“No.”
It was true. I was as tall as he was now.
“I hope you enjoyed your birthday present,” he said, “even if it was a little late.”
“I did. I enjoyed it a lot.”
“A promise is a promise.”
It had been a lot more than fulfilling a promise, and we both knew it. But I didn’t say that.
I said, “I hope you enjoyed your bachelor party.”
“I did. Oh God, I did.”
Harper put his head in his hands for just a moment, and I didn’t know what to think. But the moment passed, and we had to hurry. We quickly showered, together again because we seriously needed to save time, then got dressed. In the shower Harper was smiling again, seemed happy. Then we were on our way to Colorado Springs for the rehearsal. We ate fruit for breakfast in the car, Harper driving and licking the juice from his hands. I had napkins in my lap, but I didn’t offer him one. I watched him licking the juice off his body, thinking I could make another joke like I had at fifteen when I told him he looked sexy licking his own weenie.
God fucking damn it! He should have fucked me back then just for saying that. He should have fucked me back then because I was begging him to do it.
He should have fucked me back then because we both desperately wanted it.
And he should have been fucking me every day since then, and he should be fucking me every day to come. Everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours told me that was true.
I didn’t make the joke this time. There was nothing funny about this situation.
Chapter 50
The day was a blur. I was so out of it from lack of sleep that I can’t say I enjoyed much of it, especially the rehearsal dinner. But Harper’s mom was there, so I sat by her, thankful that she was asking me questions I could answer so I didn’t have to think of conversation myself.
Harper had paid for a hotel room for me for that night as well. I was so tired when I finally got to it that I didn’t care if he joined me or not. He didn’t. I’m sure he had plenty of other places to be and needed sleep himself.
The following day, I was Harper’s best man.
His best man.
His best man.
Harper got married in his dress blues. When I approached him to give him the ring for his bride, our eyes met briefly and his look seemed to say, “What am I doing?”
But maybe I just imagined that.
A few hours later, after the reception at which no one got drunk, I was back at the Denver airport, waiting for my plane to leave. Harper wasn’t with me. He was on his honeymoon.
Chapter 51
I was depressed for a week. But I still had John.
And John was more than enough once I could work my way out of my funk.
Chapter 52
In fact, at the end of the week, John asked me to sleep over, and my depression ended.
As usual, he locked the door. When I climbed into bed with him and began to kiss him, I expected him to let me eventually climb on board and do what we now liked to do. But John had other plans. He rolled me over and climbed on top of me.
This was different.
He began to suck me and put his fingers in my ass.
This was definitely different. It felt pretty damn good, especially since it was John’s fingers in there.
“Oh fuck,” I must have said, because I distinctly remember John saying, “I’m going to.”
He entered me and was still. We both just lay there, John all the way inside me, in stasis, waiting.
Another unexpected moment.
Another religious experience.
Another fear of exploding from sheer ecstasy.
He felt so good in there. John.
“Why did you never do this before?” I asked.
“You never asked me to.”
“I didn’t ask you now either. I never thought you wanted to.”
“I didn’t. Now I do.”
I thought about it, not quite comprehending. It didn’t matter. This was wonderful.
“Fuck, you feel good inside me!” I said. “I’ve finally got John Parker inside me, something I’ve wanted since I first looked into your eyes.”
“Sure you did. We were thirteen.”
“I did. Trust me on that. It was love at first sight. I’ve always wanted this.”
He began to move inside me, began to hump me. Just the fact that it was John doing it was good enough, but the guy knew what he was doing, as well. Or maybe he just knew me. He knew how to please me, with his kisses, with his caresses, with his sighs.
All I could do was say fuck from time to time. I felt I might just die from being too full of him. I had been possessed by God. God had filled my being. God was with me.
I was in such ecstasy I was flailing. I think I clawed John’s back. I think I grabbed his ass so much it must have hurt, pushing him deeper inside me.
John quit kissing me and put his fingers in my mouth, letting me suck on them. He had read my mind. He knew I wanted all of him inside me, anything that would fit.
Then he was kissing me again, as he slowly made love to me.
Love.
All about love here.
Love.
I held him tightly. He did the same to me, still moving, still moving, but taking it slowly, taking his time, making it last.
John began to cry. I knew why. He had found his home. I could sense it. It had been me all along; he had just never realized it. I didn’t know what our future would be, but I knew I had made the right decision in going to college nearby and asking him to live with me. He was my man, and maybe, just maybe, I was his.
“Forgive me,” John whispered, still slowly fucking me.
“What for?”
“I have sinned against you. Forgive me.”
“I forgive you.”
“Promise you’ll never let anyone else inside you. Only me.”
I was ready to seal the deal. He was all I needed. I knew now he always had been.
“I promise.”
“Promise you won’t even kiss another guy. Only me.”
“I promise.”
I wondered if he was promising me the same thing, but I didn’t ask. For now, this was enough. This was more than enough. This was more than I ever expected. I had been hurled through the sweet of the world, and I wasn’t about to ask for anything more.
Chapter 53
“You know what Matt said to me today?”
The mention of Matt made me nervous, but I tried not to sound it. “Tell me.”
“He said, ‘You and Nathan are practically married now, aren’t you?’”
“What did you say?”
“I said yes.”
That surprised me.
“And what did he say?”
“He didn’t say anything.”
And neither did I.
Chapter 54
The day before our high school graduation, my John Beloved asked me to marry him.
I was stunned. For one thing, as far as I knew, he still had a girlfriend.
But he was serious. Dead serious. He wanted to spend his life with me.
Chapter 55
I knew Harper had to be my best man. The only problem was I had always been reluctant to talk about Harper around John. I guess it was because Harper was older and difficult to explain. I also knew that John liked the idea that he was my only true f
riend. Or so he had believed.
It had come as a surprise to him when I told him I was going to Colorado to be Harper’s best man.
“The Air Force guy?” John had asked. He knew that much.
“Yeah.”
“I had no idea you guys were that close.”
I could tell from the way he said it that the news had caught him off guard.
“Neither did I really,” I said. I didn’t know what to say. “Anyway, he asked me and he bought the ticket, and I’ve never flown in a plane before, so I’m going.”
“You bet!” John had said. “I’d do the same thing. If anyone thought enough of me to ask.”
He was still thinking.
I just let him think.
So now it was both difficult and risky to bring up the subject, but I knew I had to.
“I’ve got to ask Harper to be my best man,” I said. “He asked me.”
“Yeah,” John said casually. “I expected that.”
Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.
“I’ve asked Matt to be mine. He surprised me. He said yes.”
“Awesome. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. He’s been different around me lately. Almost as if he likes the idea of having a brother.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah. It is.”
Chapter 56
Our wedding was in another state, where people of the same sex could legally wed. Harper had given me a long silence on the phone when I called to tell him I was marrying John and to ask him to be best man, but then he congratulated me and said he’d be honored.
Only I couldn’t afford to buy his ticket, and there wasn’t a private bachelor party with just him and me. Anyway, he had told me he couldn’t do that after he was married, and now, after promising John, neither could I.
John, Matt, and I drove up in Matt’s car; he had one now. Harper flew in and flew out the same day. It was only the four of us at the Justice of the Peace’s office: me, John, Matt, and Harper. My collective love life all assembled in one place. It was strange that way, but also good.
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