Tom Collivander and the Order of the Thunderbird, A Potter Parody

by Jonathan Lockwood

  Chapter 6 - Dumby’s secret weapon

  Tom’s first month at Hogwash had flown by. He’d made loads of friends and he really got on well with his Quidditch teammates. The team trained once a week and quite often sat together at meal times. The other house teams seemed to train more than them but the Ravensnore team were so in sync with each other, they didn’t really need to practise any more than that. When they did train, their practises were a lot more fun a relaxed than you might expect. All they were really doing was getting to know each other’s play styles and techniques.

  Despite his friends and involvement, there was still something bothering Tom. He was lacking a sense of adventure and action. What with the pathetic Defence against the Dark Arts lessons and Hogwash’s lack of practical activities, he was lacking a sense of adventure. However, as he reached the last week of November, that completely changed.

  Tom was eating breakfast with Mark and Ryan, as their relationship was really strong now, through Quidditch practise, when a 2nd year came up to him looking very nervous. “Err… Tom Collivander?” the kid said in a high pitched squeak.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve got a letter for you.” The second year handed over the letter and left immediately. Puzzled, Tom looked at the letter and noticed that it had Dumby’s seal on it. Excitedly, he stuffed the letter into his pockets, told Ryan and Mark he had to get to class early and darted out the door. He found an empty hallway and opened the letter. It was rather short, ‘Tom, please will you come to my office at 10pm this evening. I am in need of your service. Dumby. P.S. the password is deadly dandelions.’

  The rest of the day passed in a blur. All Tom could think about was his meeting with Dumby, hoping that he was going to be put into action at last.

  He reached the gargoyle of Dumby’s office and, feeling foolish, said the password. The eagle sprang into life, spiralling upwards, and he climbed the stairs. Knocking twice on the door, he heard Dumby say “Come in” and he wrenched open the door and quickly sat down in front of Dumby. “Tom. Good to see you. Are you enjoying Hogwash? I know you’ve got onto the Ravensnore Quidditch team.”

  “Yeah, it’s quite fun but to tell you the truth, I’ve been feeling a bit down with the lack of action around here. Hogwash doesn’t seem to do any adventurous stuff. At Durmprang, we went on hunts and did assault courses and stuff.” Dumby scowled at the word hunt but didn’t retaliate. Instead, he smiled.

  “I see you want to get straight to the point. You’re lacking action. Very well. As I’m sure you know, I asked you to help out Professor Snipe last month, not because he needed it, but because I needed to test your loyalty.” Tom nodded. “I can say that you performed excellently and I knew from that moment on that I could count on you.”

  Tom started to expect something exciting and leaned forwards in his chair. “Within Hogwash, there are a few people who I rely on to perform special tasks and I would like you join that group. The others are Severus Snipe, Rubeus Hogrod, Minerva McMogal and Harry Trotter. You’re task will involve the latter.” He paused for a moment, allowing Tom to speak but he remained silent so Dumby continued.

  “It has come to my attention that Harry Trotter, along with his closest friends, are planning to create a secret Defence group. How well do you know Harry Trotter?”

  “Not much, I’ve met him once but I think we got on alright. I know Hermione Danger quite well though.” Dumby gave him a piercing gaze.

  “Good, good. It is important that I know what happens during these sessions and so I am asking you to go along and report back to me.”

  “But sir, if Harry is one of your task force, can’t you just ask him?”

  “Tom, this must remain a secret. Harry, in fact everyone, can’t know that I know about their group. Now, they are having a meeting at the Hag’s leg in Hogswine this weekend to see who’s going to join the group but its invitation only.” He paused to let the information sink in.

  “I need you there. Use your charm to get Miss Danger to invite you. Will you do this for me?” Tom wasn’t sure.

  He said, “Before I agree, I have a few questions.”

  Dumby leaned back in his chair and said, “Fire away.”

  “How do you know all this?” Dumby didn’t seem bothered by this question.

  “Tom, I’m sorry but I won’t tell you. I trust you so all that remains is for you to trust me.” Tom was a little disappointed but hadn’t really expected the greatest wizard of all time to share his knowledge with a 16 year old kid so moved on to his next question.

  “What was the reason for me getting to know Professor Snipe?”

  “Again, I am sorry but I can’t tell you just now. You will find out in the future, I promise. All I can say is what you can already guess, he’s part of my task force as are you and it is important that everyone gets along.” This raised another question.

  “But sir, don’t Snipe and Harry hate each other?”

  Dumby took a deep breath, “Unfortunately they do Tom, but I can’t do without either of them and so I have to manage the best I can.”

  “Finally, why me?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Why have you picked me to join your force?” Tom asked again.

  “Do you doubt yourself, Tom?” But Dumby didn’t wait for an answer. “I see a lot of myself in you. You are exceptionally clever, you crave action and you are motivated by the loss of your parents. But above all, you know what is right and what must be done when others would falter.”

  Tom was surprised to hear Dumby speak about him with such confidence and admiration considering they hadn’t know each other long. One thing Dumby had said though, had stuck in his mind. “Sir, did you also lose your parents at a young age?”

  Dumby pondered Tom’s question, thinking weather to answer or not. Eventually, he said with a heavy heart “Yes I did Tom. So I know how you feel.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss,” Tom said truthfully.

  “You are very kind… Now, do I have your word that you will become my spy and spy on Harry’s defence group for me?”

  “Yes, sir. You have shown trust and faith in me and it is now time that I prove you right.”

  “Very good. Before you go, I just want to re-iterate what I’ve said before. Everything that we discuss you must not tell to anyone else.”

  “Of course, sir. I will not break your trust. Goodnight.”

  The following day they had potions. Tom figured this would be an ideal time to get Hermione to ask him to the meeting as Harry and Ron were normally too busy trying to work out how they’d messed up their potions. Normally, he sat with his fellow Ravensnores for potions, so they were disappointed when they saw him go join the Gryffinchair table. Tom thought that Snipe would know about his task and so would ignore Tom sitting there. He sat down as he said, “Hey guys, mind if I join you today?”

  “Not at all,” said Hermione.

  Snipe started to talk in his usual deep, droning voice, telling the class how most of them were pathetic and how he would be glad to see them gone from his class next year. Tom thought Snipe was alright but he could see why people hated him. He wasn’t exactly friendly or supportive. Snipe then told them to attempt to make the cure for hippogriff hiccups, put the instructions on the board and left them to it.

  Ron and Harry started scowling at Snipe and complained about the complexity of the potion. Tom thought his moment had come, “At least we actually practise in Snipe’s class, much better than the awful reading we do for Dumbridge,” he said, trying to spark a conversation.

  “Can’t argue with that,” said Ron.

  But the conversation didn’t really go anywhere so Tom carried on making his potion. 10 minutes later he tried again, although this time with Hermione alone. “Hermione, you seem to have a natural talent for this potion, do you think you could give me a hand?” she looked flustered as she took her eyes away from her cauldron.

  “I can give you a minute but that’s all. Let’s have a look…
Oh Tom, you forgot to include the hair of a beaver.” She looked at him pityingly. “If I just do this.” She added the hairs whilst muttering some charm. “There you go.”

  In truth, Tom had messed up his potion on purpose. She went back to her potion whilst Tom noticed Snipe looking at him and believe it or not, he was actually smiling. Without looking up from her cauldron, Hermione said, “So Tom, how come you messed up your potion, I’d have thought Durmprang would have taught you really well?”

  “Nah, not really. They taught us Defence against the Dark Arts mostly. That’s why I’m so annoyed with Dumbridge. No one can call what she’s doing Defence against the Dark Arts. Besides, some of the stuff she’s ‘teaching’ us, I did in second year.”

  Harry and Ron, who had been listening, gave Hermione and stare and then she spoke, “It sounds like you know a lot about defence and you seem to share our hate of Dumbridge.” She looked back at Harry. Tom pretended not to notice.

  She then continued in hushed tones. “Listen, us three are organising a secret defence group. We’re having a meeting on Saturday in the Hag’s leg to see who’s interested. Fancy coming?”

  Tom pretended to think about it for a while. “Yeah, ok. Sounds like fun,” he said whilst trying not to sound too happy.

  “Excellent, 1 o’clock then,” she replied, rather excitedly.

  After a few more minutes, Ron asked for help from Hermione but before she got to his cauldron, Snipe appeared as if out of nowhere. “Weaselby, what do you think you are doing?” Ron froze. “Trying to cheat off Danger are you? Well, no marks for you today.”

  With a wave of his wand, Ron’s potion vanished and he walked away. Ron stared at Snipe for a long time after he’d walked off. Eventually, he looked away and turned on Tom, “You’re lucky Snipe didn’t notice you.”

  Tom, knowing full well that Snipe had let him off, smiled as he replied, “I guess so. I tend to be quite lucky.” He paused, “Snipe seemed to give you an evil look. Does he often pick on you?”

  Ron answered in a depressed manner, “All the time, it’s a nightmare. Harry gets it worse than me though.”

  “Oh yeah, I’ve noticed. Poor bloke,” Tom said sympathetically.

  After potions, Tom ate dinner with the Ravensnore Quidditch team as they had practise later and Mark wanted to discuss a few things beforehand. He was focusing on a particular flying formation called the double tap. It involved the two beaters working together in and out of the chasers to attack twice in one motion without the other team realising it. Just as they got up to leave Isabelle came over. “Hey Tom, can I have a private word?” The team all stopped and looked over at Isabelle with interest.

  “Err, I’ve got Quidditch practise now, can it wait?” Tom replied.

  “I know, I overheard you lot talking. It will only take a minute.” She looked hopeful. “Ok, then,” said Tom and he turned to the rest of the team. “I’ll catch you up.”

  The team, reluctantly, went. Tom and Isabelle walked out into an empty corridor and Tom turned to Isabelle, “What’s up?”

  She looked rather nervous but determined at the same time. “I was wondering if you’d like to go Hogswine with me on Saturday.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sure. That would be fun.” He’d said it without really realising what he was agreeing to. Isabelle looked really happy.

  “Oh wonderful. Shall I meet you in the entrance hall at 9?” Tom was coming back to his senses, realising that she’d just asked him out and he also remembered that he had the meeting to attend, but he couldn’t say no now.

  “That sounds good but I need to tell you, I’ve got somewhere else to be at 1.” She frowned.

  “Are you meeting someone else?”

  “It’s not like that, I’ve just got some business to attend to.” He knew he couldn’t say anymore. She didn’t seem altogether satisfied but thankfully she didn’t elaborate.

  “Ok. I’ll see you on Saturday then,” and she went back to dinner.

  As Tom walked down to the Quidditch pitch, he thought about what had just happened and the more he thought, the more he realised that Isabelle was really cool and attractive and that he’d accidentally landed himself a pretty sweet date. He then questioned why he hadn’t realised this before and asked her out. The hints had definitely been there. Coming to the conclusion that she must be in the top 20 in school and she had asked him out, he felt much more powerful and intimidating that he usually did. He felt like people would admire him.

  When he entered the changing rooms, the whole team looked up at him and Ryan asked, “What did she want then?”

  Tom felt great as he said, “She was just asking me out.” All the guys wolf whistled and cheered.

  Mark said, “Nice one man.”

  Boris added “You’ve struck gold with her,” and Amber added, “It was only a matter of time.’ This struck Tom as an odd comment.

  He asked her, “What do you mean?”

  “Only that lots of girls want to go out with you and to be honest, I was thinking of doing it myself if no one else had soon.”

  Seeing the look on Tom’s face, Cho said, “This can’t seriously come as a shock to you.” Tom stammered as he didn’t know what to say.

  “Amber, you’re a 6th year. Why would you want to go out with me?” Before she could reply, Mark intervened, sensing potential awkwardness.

  “Guys, let’s get back to Quidditch. We can discuss Tom’s love life later if you like.” He said this with a smile. That was one of the great things about Mark. He was as competitive as anyone but at the same time, very laid back and chilled.

  Practise did not go well for Tom, he was too occupied thinking about Isabelle and what Amber and Cho had said. Twice, he didn’t see a bludger coming and got hit, the second time in the face. Cho joked, “His date won’t thank you if you’ve messed up his face Mark.” Only when Ryan wafted some bacon in front of him did Tom come back to his senses and play. Hard. So hard that he managed to bend one of the goal posts when he hit a bludger at it.