Hoping for Hawthorne

by Ericson, Tara Grace

  Laura waved to get Avery’s attention across the table and raised her voice above the other conversations. “So, Avery, tell us everything about where you’ve been the last thirteen years! You mentioned research at the university brought you back to the area?”

  Avery was happy to engage and talked about her degree in chemical engineering. Hawthorne’s eyes burned her skin as she felt him watching, but this time she refused to acknowledge him. Payback was fair play. Instead, she talked to everyone else, looking around the table without meeting Hawthorne’s chocolate-brown eyes. Somehow, Avery knew if she looked at him, it would spiral into a confrontation, and she didn’t want to ruin everyone’s breakfast. An argument with Hawthorne could wait until she’d had at least two cups of coffee.

  4

  Hawthorne tried to listen to Avery relay the last thirteen years of her life as an uninterested party. After all, she was simply his sisters’ friend from over a decade ago; but as he listened, he was captivated. Avery laughed and answered questions about why she chose engineering and joked about stodgy old professors who underestimated her because she was blonde.

  Why didn’t he remember her more from when they were younger? The stroll his family took down memory lane revealed she had been around for five or so years before her family moved. He would have been sixteen the first summer she stayed at the farm. Maybe it was just because she was just a kid back then, but she definitely wasn’t a child anymore.

  His mother’s homemade cinnamon rolls were one of his favorite treats, but this morning he barely tasted his. Distracted by the confident woman sitting directly across the table, Hawthorne choked down his breakfast and tried to leave. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom.”

  “Don’t leave quite yet, honey. We have some family business to cover.”

  He frowned. Family business? With Avery at the table?

  “Nothing serious, Hawthorne.” His father waved away his son’s unspoken concerns. “We are so proud of all of you. Today, we wanted to celebrate Lily’s success with the event business. I never dreamed our little farm would grow as much as it has. It has officially been one year since Lily started renting out the refinished barn.” His mom clapped her hands together quietly, and before long, the entire Bloom family was clapping and cheering. Hawthorne let out a whistle.

  Lily blushed at the attention. “Thanks, Dad. It’s been an adventure. But, if you remember, we do have a wedding there this evening, so I need to get back as soon as possible.” She tapped the planner she carried everywhere.

  Hawthorne spoke up. “Do you need anything from me today?”

  “I don’t think so. But I’ll text you if I do, okay?”

  Lily looked back at their father. “Anything else we need to cover?”

  Keith shook his head. “Nope, that’s all, Lilypad.”

  “Great work this year, sweetie,” their mother added.

  “We are very excited for the opportunities you have all explored for the farm.” He looked from sibling to sibling, addressing each in turn.

  “Daisy, your bed and breakfast will be a great addition. Poppy, your vineyard and winery are already so beautiful. Lavender, when I see the Bloom’s Farm Facebook page, I’m amazed at how you connect with people virtually. Since you started promoting online, our orchard events and produce subscriptions have grown tenfold. Rose, I can’t thank you enough for helping me so much with the animals. And Hawthorne,” he continued, “this place would probably fall apart without you keeping it all together.”

  Hawthorne felt his cheeks burn in shame. His contribution to the farm wasn’t near as critical as his father made it sound. Especially when compared to his sisters’. But isn’t that what he wanted? Too much responsibility was a surefire way to let someone down. He’d learned that lesson once before.

  * * *

  Avery listened to the impromptu speech with admiration and a bit of jealousy. Her parents had never validated her efforts quite so plainly. Keith and Laura had always been generous with affection and praise, even to her, but she’d forgotten how generous. The changes at Bloom’s farm were startling. When she was here as a child, it had seemed an overwhelming operation with crops and animals. But now? It was becoming so much more than that.

  What had Keith said about Daisy? A bed and breakfast? That was incredible. She remembered the old homestead; they’d played in the rundown house as young girls, dreaming of their husbands and families. Heat filled her cheeks as she remembered one particular trait of her “pretend” family—Hawthorne had always been her husband. She’d called him Harry so Daisy wouldn’t know, which seemed laughable now.

  Keith spoke kindly enough about Hawthorne’s contribution on the farm, but that didn’t mean anything. He was still the man she’d seen in the bar last week. Hawthorne was thirty-three years old, for crying out loud. Shouldn’t he be more than a handyman? He’d been in college when she moved away. She racked her brain trying to remember what he’d studied. Had it been business? Or something to do with computers? Whatever it was, clearly it hadn’t panned out.

  Avery had to let go of this dream she’d carried around for over a decade about the man across the table. He was just like Brandon. Whenever it was time for her to date someone again, he would be completely solid. Was it too much to want someone responsible and committed? Maybe she should say yes to Edward from the chemistry department if he asked her out again. He was nice enough. A bit boring, perhaps. But boring is good. Boring meant responsible and stable, and that was what she wanted.

  After brunch wrapped up, Daisy offered Avery a tour of the bed and breakfast. They chatted while Avery drove them to the old house and parked in front. “Wow, Daze! This looks incredible.”

  Avery must have passed this on the way to the main house without evening noticing all the work that had already been done. The front porch had been completed, and the house was freshly painted. Cute Adirondack chairs were set on the porch to create a little seating area.

  Daisy beamed with pride. “Thank you! There was just something about getting the exterior done that made it feel more attainable. The inside is essentially a warzone,” Daisy joked.

  Once Avery walked through the front door, she had to agree. Then again, Avery recalled what the house looked like more than ten years ago, and she could see how it was coming together. “Didn’t there used to be a wall here?”

  Daisy laughed. “Good memory! This used to be the front parlor. And then this was the living room. But I wanted it to be one big space instead. Greg, my contractor, was able to install a beam and take out the wall.”

  “Wow, that’s awesome.” Avery treaded carefully across the room, staying on the white paper covered in dusty footprints. “Floors?”

  “Mostly original, with a few patches, as long as I can convince Lance to teach me how to patch them.”

  Avery raised an eyebrow. “Lance?”

  Daisy let out a growl. “Lance is Greg’s son. And apparently Greg has to get his knee replaced. Which means his ongoing projects are being managed by his far-more-infuriating son and business partner. He was here for the first time the other day.” Daisy took a deep breath, and Avery could see her trying to push down the agitation. Daisy had always worn her emotions on her sleeve.

  Daisy exhaled and turned to the kitchen. “Anyway, I don’t want to talk about Lance.” She said his name like a curse word. “Come look at the kitchen. It’s coming along.”

  Avery followed her but made a mental note to follow back up in a few weeks to see how things were going with Lance. It wasn’t uncommon for Daisy to be overly dramatic, but it always made for a few good stories.

  They stepped into the kitchen and Avery looked around. The minuscule kitchen seemed three times the size she remembered. Daisy led her through a wide opening into a room with a bay window overlooking the valley. “This is the dining room.”

  “How many rooms do you have?” Avery tried to remember the layout of the second floor.

  “There are five bedrooms upstairs. I’ll steal one
of them to create attached bathrooms for two of the rooms.” As they walked up the stairs, Avery trailed a hand up the wooden banister. It had been replaced, or at least sanded and re-stained and was a stark, shining contrast to the chaos of the rest of the space.

  They wandered around the upper floor. The bedrooms were small, but should fit queen beds easily. A quick peek in the hallway bathroom revealed floor-to-ceiling baby blue tile and a matching bathtub peeked out from behind a plain white shower curtain.

  Avery winced—welcome to the ‘60s.

  Daisy shrugged. “I know, I know. But considering the house is from the 1920s, I should be thankful it has a bathroom up here at all. It was probably added later.”

  “Probably. Can you imagine all you kids living here and sharing this one bathroom?”

  Daisy laughed. “I never thought about that! Mom and Dad built the other house when I was born, so this one has only ever been a curiosity. Six girls and one bathroom? Poor Hawthorne would have never gotten a shower.”

  Hawthorne in the shower was something Avery did not need to dwell on, and she quickly changed the subject back to the renovations, asking about a giant hole in the ceiling of the bedroom they passed. As Daisy told the ridiculous story of her first meeting with Lance, Avery felt the lightness of true friendship. She never seemed to find that during her final year of high school in Freedom. At college, she had become so caught up with Brandon, friendships hadn’t been a priority.

  Being back with Daisy and Poppy almost felt like she’d never left. They’d made promises when Avery moved away. But promises to stay in touch at seventeen weren’t often kept, even with the help of the internet. Whatever social media site had been the rage when they were young had fallen by the wayside eventually, and virtual friendships were easy to lose sight of. It was refreshing to be back at Bloom’s Farm. Even though her age-old crush on Hawthorne would have to remain in the distant past, she wanted to come back. She wouldn’t let Hawthorne stop her from rebuilding her ties with the rest of the Bloom family.

  5

  After brunch, he escaped as quickly as he could. Nothing was pressing around the farm, but his phone chimed with a text message while he mucked the stall of his horse. Mocha had nuzzled him, excited at the prospect of a ride. Maybe later, but for now Hawthorne put him out in the pasture while he worked.

  Brunch this morning had really thrown him for a loop. The last person he’d expected to see walk into his parents’ kitchen was the woman from the bar. And to find out that she’d been around from the time he was sixteen until twenty-one was totally mystifying.

  Hawthorne had always enjoyed torturing his sisters and their friends. He’d tried to convince himself it was just a brother’s duty, but he had to admit getting the reactions from his sisters’ cute friend had been half the fun. Until now, those memories didn’t have a name attached to them, but it had always been Avery. He carted the wheelbarrow full of dirty hay to the muck pile and worked to refill Mocha’s water and feed while he replayed memories of Avery. Now that they were important, his mind was filling in the details and the hazy scenes had renewed clarity.

  One time in particular, when they were fourteen and he was seventeen, he’d just found a snake in the barn and was headed to the creek to let it loose. He spotted Daisy, Andi, Poppy, and Avery laying on towels on their makeshift beach by the creek. With a glint of mischief in his eye, he evaluated his options. Hawthorne tiptoed behind them and dumped the snake between Poppy and Avery with a laugh. Poppy let out an ear-splitting shriek, causing the other girls to jump and start screaming as well. Hawthorne stood back watching, roaring with laughter as the snake traversed the beach towels trying to find an escape.

  With a huff, Avery glared at him and marched over to the snake. “It’s just a garter snake, guys,” she said while gently straightening the towels under the panicked snake and tipping it toward the long grass at the bank of the creek. Daisy and Poppy were still yelling at him, and Andi came at him, fists flying. But Avery? As he caught a weak blow from Andi, he saw Avery covering a smile behind her fingers. When the ruckus had settled, the girls marched back up the hill to the UTV they used to run around the farm.

  She’d always been fearless. Whether it was snakes on the beach, or snakes in a bar—Avery wasn’t easily shaken. Surrounded by women his entire life who tended toward the dramatic, Hawthorne was impressed. Honestly, Avery was impressive all around. Smart, capable, kind. A woman like her wouldn’t be interested in him. He was just a handyman.

  Which didn’t matter because he wasn’t interested in a relationship. He’d tried the responsibility thing before and had vowed never to do it again. Nobody—not even the alluring Avery Chase—was going to change his mind.

  While he placed a new bed of hay in Mocha’s stall, he felt the buzz of a text message. After glancing at his phone, his gaze locked longingly on the saddle he’d pulled of the tack room. His shoulders slumped, he wouldn’t be going for that ride after all. Leaving Mocha behind and jumping in the truck, he headed out to the event center.

  Twenty minutes later, Hawthorne climbed down from the loft in the renovated barn, carrying the giant wooden sign Lily needed for the wedding reception. Lily assured him she wouldn’t need anything else, so he made the short walk from the barn to the old house. He needed a shower, probably a shave too. He rubbed a hand over his thickening scruff. After jogging up the porch steps, he pulled the screen door open. A laugh floated out from the kitchen to his right and he froze in the doorway as the screen door slammed behind him.

  Avery was here.

  A quick glance into the kitchen confirmed his suspicions. Avery and Daisy were sitting at the small table tucked in the corner of the kitchen, each with a Diet Dr. Pepper in hand. At his sudden interruption, Avery sat up straight and stammered.

  “I-I should go.”

  Daisy began to protest, but Avery was already dumping her soda into the sink and gathering her scarf and coat. The motion was so similar to the night in the bar that Hawthorne couldn’t restrain himself. He had no intention of confronting Avery. Of course, that was before he realized she intended to ignore him completely.

  The words jumped out, “Sure, just run out again without giving me a chance.”

  Avery raised an eyebrow and he saw Daisy’s wide-eyed look of surprise across the room.

  Avery held her scarf in one hand and stopped her flurry of activity. “Do you have something you’d like to say, Hawthorne?” She raised her chin and spoke clearly, almost daring him to continue.

  He ran a hand through his dark, wind-blown hair. Did he have something to say? Hawthorne could think of a few things, but none of them seemed right. Finally, he answered, “Can I walk you out?” Maybe the words would come to him.

  Avery studied him for a second and then turned back to Daisy for a quick hug. “I’ll see you and Poppy later this week, okay?”

  “Sounds good.” Daisy studied them both with a bemused smile before walking behind Avery. “Be nice,” she mouthed to Hawthorne. Great, he would hear about this later from everyone.

  He extended an arm toward the entry way. “Shall we?”

  Avery walked ahead of him out the front door. She stopped abruptly on the porch and turned back toward him. Unable to stop, Hawthorne nearly knocked her over. With a slight grunt at the impact, he steadied her with a hand on her shoulder and froze as she looked up at him. What was he doing? Questions floated in her silvery-gray eyes, but no hint of embarrassment or insecurity.

  Admiration filled him. Despite her initial reaction being to flee when he walked in, Avery seemed more than willing to face the remnants of their interaction at the bar. It would be far easier to ignore it forever, and he nearly wished he could.

  Hawthorne took a step back to put some desperately needed space between them. “Look, about the bar-” he started.

  Avery raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

  “What I mean to say is… I was wrong.” Surprise registered on Avery’s face and he continued. �
��I was being a jerk with that story. And you are right — those guys are immature and the way they treated Wendy? Well, I wouldn’t want anyone to treat my sisters that way. So, I guess I wanted to say thank you.”

  Avery paused and bit her lip, causing his eyes to drop at the movement. “You’re welcome.”

  He looked up sharply. Heat climbed up his neck and he cleared his throat. “Yes, well. It’s good to see you again, Avery. I know Daisy is glad to have you back in town.”

  Avery nodded. “And what about you?”

  “What?” His brain was having a hard time functioning with her so close. A few short inches and he could finger the blonde hair trailing over the edges of her lightweight scarf.

  “Are you glad to have me back?” Her lips formed a sarcastic smirk and he was overwhelmed by the urge to see if his kiss would be capable of ruffling her feathers. As far as he could tell, nothing seemed to get to her. Could he rattle her at all?

  Instead, Hawthorne gave a flirty grin, “Well, I guess that depends on what happens next.” Almost instinctively, he followed up the suggestive comment with a wink, then mentally winced at his antics. Something about Avery made him want to push her buttons. Even as he said the words, he knew he was fishing on thin ice.

  A slight flush filled Avery’s cheeks and she fought back a smile while watching his eyes. Hawthorne smirked. Rattle rattle. Then, with a curt nod, she turned and walked down the stairs. As she reached her car, she looked back up at his position on the porch and called out, “Hawthorne?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Nothing will happen next.”

  He lifted a hand, then whispered to himself, “We’ll see about that, Avery Chase.”

  His desire to prove her wrong was dangerous. No matter how much he wanted to make her smile, or how desperately he wanted to kiss the sarcastic smirk off her face, he couldn’t risk a relationship. Getting under her skin was enjoyable, that was all. He definitely wasn’t looking for anything that lasted more than a few weeks. A relationship like that might end in commitment.