The Man I Thought I Loved (Two-Faced Book 2)

by E. L. Todd

  I stared at her beautiful face in the dark, the light from the cracks in the blinds coming in and hitting parts of her cheek. The entire thing was a turn-on because this was the most desirable woman in the world, but my dick remained soft because my pure intentions overrode my biological reaction. I didn’t want more than this. It was more than enough, gave me more satisfaction than the hard sex we used to have. She was far more beautiful like this, free of makeup, her heart on her sleeve instead of locked behind a cage.

  Her arm slid around my torso, her hand against my back. Her eyes moved down to my lips, but she didn’t kiss me. She stayed still, fought the same urges I felt.

  “Goodnight, sweetheart.” My hand glided up until I brushed the hair out of her face, my fingers keeping it pinned back as they slid farther into the curtain of softness. I closed my eyes a moment later, feeling the peace I’d been searching for my entire life. It was the first relationship I’d had with anyone where I didn’t have to question why they were there. It wasn’t because of my wealth, my status, my connections. We didn’t meet at a charity gala, spotting each other across the room. She wasn’t part of that fast life at all. Hers was slow, easy, real. The heaviness in my heart was both painful and bittersweet. The way I felt about this woman made me realize what I felt about Rose had never been real, even when our relationship was good. There wasn’t this deep connection, this level of friendship, a relationship where the person wasn’t just your lover, but your best friend.

  She whispered back. “Goodnight, Dax…”

  My driver pulled up to the restaurant.

  I looked at her in the seat beside me. “No reason to be nervous.”

  She turned to me, her eyebrow arched and high. “Nervous? Honey, I don’t get nervous.” She opened the door, flipped her hair, and stepped out of the car.

  I grinned slightly before I joined her on the sidewalk. She was in a red dress, which looked lovely with her dark hair and fair complexion. The sleeves fell down her arms, and she wore black pumps. “I’m sorry we have to go to a fancy place. I’ve been told you hate pretentious food.”

  She grinned. “Don’t worry about it. I know your sister and William like this sort of thing, so it’s three to one. And now that I know there’re two billionaires at the table, it doesn’t bother me so much.”

  My arm circled her waist, and I pulled her close. “You look beautiful.”

  Her eyes softened at the compliment. “Thank you.”

  In truth, she looked incredible, sexy as hell, and I missed our alleyway fucks for a second.

  “But you’re the beautiful one.”

  That made me want to roll my eyes because no one noticed me when I stood beside her. My lips moved to hers, and I kissed her, careful not to ruin her red lipstick, but once our mouths were combined, the fire started.

  I had to force myself to pull away and guide her into the restaurant. After I checked in at the desk, I was led to the table where Renee and William were already waiting. His arm was over the back of her chair, and he was pivoted toward her, giving his full attention to the woman who’d stolen his heart. He was in a sports jacket, and he was listening to her talk. Renee had her hair pulled back, and she was in a simple black dress.

  Renee stopped talking when she saw us approach the table. “They’re here.”

  William rose to his feet and shook my hand. “Long time, no see.”

  “Join us on Wednesday.”

  “I think I can make that happen.” He turned to Carson next. “Wow…almost didn’t recognize you. I’m used to seeing you in shorts with a basketball in your hands.”

  “And sweaty and gross,” she added with a chuckle. “Yes, I look like a girl in real life.”

  “You look lovely.” He embraced her with a one-armed hug. “And you look lovely on the court too.”

  She smiled at his compliment. “Thank you.”

  I moved to Renee next, giving her a brief hug. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks.” She seemed to be the nervous one of the night, because she cleared her throat as she approached Carson. She extended her hand to shake hers. “It’s nice to see you again. I hope we can get off on the right foot this time.”

  Carson didn’t hesitate before she shook her hand. “There’s no hard feelings, really. You were just protecting your own, and I respect that. And I’ve got rhino skin, so it’s pretty much impossible to offend me. You’ve got to be that way in my line of work.”

  Renee nodded. “Well, I’m glad we can give this another go. And I’m very happy that you and my brother worked things out.”

  William turned to me. “What happened?”

  I lowered my voice, so they wouldn’t overhear. “Your woman came at Carson pretty hard when they met…”

  “Ohh…” He nodded. “Yeah, the claws come out when she’s mad.”

  “And thank you for the flowers,” Carson said. “They’re on my desk right now.”

  “Yes, Dax told me.”

  We took a seat at the table, where there was already a bottle of wine.

  William passed it to me. “It’s the vintage you ordered last time. Thought we could give it another round.”

  I poured a glass then poured hers.

  Carson took a sip. “Not bad.”

  I returned the bottle to the table.

  Renee sat across from Carson, and based on the way she tried to divert her gaze anywhere but at the person across the table, she was still uncomfortable with the whole thing. When she’d told off Carson, she must have thought there was no chance they would see each other again. It was the first time I’d seen Renee intimidated by another person.

  It was another reason Carson had stolen my heart.

  “Should we do an appetizer?” Carson grabbed the heavy menu. “I’m starving.”

  I smiled slightly. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

  “I’m hungry too.” Renee looked at the menu. “What about the crab cakes?”

  “Good choice.” Carson turned to me. “Is that okay with you?”

  I held her gaze. “Would it matter if it weren’t?”

  She suppressed her smile. “Just wanted to make sure.”

  “Crab cakes sound great,” William said. “I’m not a picky eater.”

  “Neither am I,” Carson said. “I just eat everything.”

  “It’s true,” I said. “Every time we get sandwiches, she eats her chips and then my chips…”

  “Hey, I asked first,” she said defensively. “Don’t make me look like a chip hog.”

  The waitress came over, and we gave our order for the appetizer and the entrees.

  My arm moved over the back of Carson’s chair so my fingers could touch her shoulder lightly, feel her soft skin. We hadn’t had another sleepover since our last one a few days ago, but it was the best night of sleep I’d gotten in a long time.

  It was quiet for a while, like the awkwardness was still there.

  William broke it. “Dax told me you played basketball in college. All four years?”

  Carson nodded. “Yep.”

  “That’s pretty impressive, especially since you went to Harvard,” he said. “I heard they have a good team.”

  Carson turned her gaze on me, accusation in her eyes. “You told him?”

  “Sweetheart, I’m proud that I’m dating a successful and intellectual woman.” I knew I could defuse her anger with my charm because it’d always worked in the past. “It’s hot. Can’t blame me for wanting to brag.”

  “You should be proud,” Renee said. “That’s quite an accomplishment.”

  Carson’s anger dimmed just like I thought it would. “I just don’t like to brag about it. People usually assume I’ve got a stick up my ass…”

  William chuckled at her crass comment. “Definitely don’t have a stick up there, that’s for sure.”

  “I get it,” Renee said. “It’s intimidating to most people, especially men you’re trying to date.”

  “Except Dax.” She grabbed her glass and took a
drink. “He’s not intimidated at all, which is one of the reasons I’ve come to adore him.”

  I turned back to her, staring at the side of her face, watching her drink from her glass again. My hand moved to her thigh under the table, my fingers immediately pulling up her dress slightly so I could get a sexy grip on her warm skin.

  “He’s so secure with himself and his masculinity that a woman’s ambition doesn’t affect his sense of worth. He’s always been supportive of my career, always been interested in it, and my brash personality and candor seem intriguing to him rather than annoying. It’s really nice to be with a man who’s so…manly.” She drank from her glass again, unapologetic about what she said in front of my sister.

  Now I really stared at her, hanging on to the praise she never shared with me.

  “He’s not jealous either. I live with my best friend, who’s a good-looking straight guy, and we work together at the newspaper. Most men just can’t digest the relationship or approve of it, but Dax has never cared, accepted it from the beginning, because he’s so secure that he doesn’t get intimidated by other men either. Honestly, he’s the perfect man.” She spoke of me like I wasn’t right beside her. “Why would he get jealous of other men when he’s the best of his kind?”

  She’d described me objectively, like I was a subject in an article, but those characteristics were the reason she came back to me, the reason she gave me another chance after I hurt her. I had always meant a lot to her, even though I hadn’t realized that until now. She hadn’t worn her heart on her sleeve in the past, but now that she did, she didn’t hold anything back.

  William shifted his gaze to me. “Safe to say…she’s obsessed with you.”

  After dinner was finished, we left the table and gathered on the sidewalk.

  William skipped the handshake and embraced me with a hug and a pat on the back. “I’ll be there on Wednesday. I’ve been craving hot wings anyway.”

  “So, do you actually want to play with us, or do you just want the food?”

  He shrugged. “Mainly the food.”

  “You’re a cardiologist, and you eat that shit?” I teased.

  “Come on, you’re gonna die anyway.” He shrugged. “Do what you want, right?”

  I turned to Renee. “You’re welcome to play with us.”

  “Yeah,” Carson said. “It would be nice to have another woman on the team.”

  “Oh no.” Renee shook her head. “I can’t even get myself on a treadmill.”

  “Running on a treadmill is totally different from a game,” Carson said. “But if you don’t want to play, you can still get dinner with us afterward.”

  “I’m more interested in that.” Renee gave a thumbs-up.

  “You can watch me play with my shirt off,” William said. “We get all hot and sweaty.”

  Her reaction was immediately cold. “You take off your shirt?”

  William’s eyes widened like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He turned his gaze back to me. “What did I tell you? My baby gets jealous, really jealous.”

  “I’m not jealous,” she argued. “I just don’t want you playing half naked while a bunch of women stare at you.”

  William wrapped his arm around her waist and started to guide her away. “You guys have a good night. I’ve got to get yelled at for twenty minutes.”

  I watched them walk away, their voices growing inaudible as Renee continued to talk his ear off.

  “They’re cute.” Carson stood beside me, her arms crossed over her chest. “They go well together.”

  My arm moved around her waist, and I tugged her close. “We’re cute.”

  Her arm slipped around my waist, and she looked up at me. “I don’t know… I’m not the jealous type.”

  “I have a feeling that’s going to change.” My hand gripped her ass in her dress as I kissed her, my dick impossible to control in my slacks. My pants suddenly became very tight, but when she wore a red dress like that and talked about me like I was God’s gift to women, it was impossible not to lose my mind. I ended the kiss but kept our faces close. “Based on all those things you said about me.”

  Her hands slid up my chest as she arched her back, pressing her body farther into mine, her lips slightly parted, her eyes both hot and playful. “They were just compliments…”

  “No, they weren’t.” I squeezed her ass again. “You love it when I grab you like this because every woman in sight knows that I’m yours, that the only woman who’s getting my dick is you.” My lips moved to hers, and I gave her a small kiss. “You took me back because I’m the only man you want. You don’t trust yourself around me because you want me so much. We both know you’re ready, but you’re taking your time crossing the line, because once you do…everything will be different. Trust me, if a woman looks at me too long, it’ll drive you fucking crazy.” I kissed her again. “And I want it to.”

  Eighteen

  Carson

  After I got off work, I went by Kat’s apartment.

  We hadn’t spoken in a week, and since we were going out on Friday night, I thought I should see where she was at. Emotionally.

  She opened the door with a slight look of surprise, as if she hadn’t expected to hear from me.

  I held up the box of muffins. “I got the last two poppy seed muffins.”

  Her eyes moved to the box before she stepped aside and let me enter. “Both for me, right?”

  I chuckled. “Girl, I’m not that nice.” I placed the box on the counter and handed one to her before I peeled back the paper on my own and took a bite.

  She stood across from me at the kitchen island as she took a few bites. “I’ve eaten so much this week, but I don’t even care.”

  “Not feeling better?”

  “I mean, I’m better now than I was last week…”

  I set the muffin on a napkin. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, me too. The sex with Nathan is great, but not great enough.”

  “In my experience, sex isn’t going to fix your problems. Trust me…I know.”

  “Yeah.” She gave me a sympathetic look. “Have you slept with him yet?”

  “I don’t want to talk about him. I want to talk about you.” I hadn’t thought I could be happy again, but Dax was really making me happy. Or maybe he wasn’t doing anything—I was just allowing myself to feel good. My heart was open, and I let everything spill out every day. I also absorbed everything he gave, right into my bloodstream. Talking about how I’d overcome my problems and possibly found the guy I wanted to spend my life seemed cruel, considering her pain. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  She shook her head. “No. I just need to move on…” She set her muffin down, half eaten. “Over the course of this week, I’ve come to realize how pathetic I am. When Charlie dumped me, I should have toughened up and moved on. I shouldn’t have waited around and pined for a man who doesn’t even want me. Embarrassing…”

  “Kat, it’s not embarrassing,” I said gently. “We all handle heartbreak differently. Nothing to be ashamed of. Look at me.”

  “But you were married. It’s totally different.”

  “You and Charlie were together as long as I was married. Not much different to me.”

  She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Does this affect your friendship with Charlie and Denise?”

  She shrugged. “Not sure. I mean, nothing has happened, so it’s not like I can get mad at them. Technically, Charlie doesn’t owe me anything.”

  “He values his friendship with you a lot, Kat.”

  “He said that?” she whispered.

  “Of course. He values the entire group. We’re all a family, you know? And Denise said she couldn’t betray you either. Their loyalty is in the right place. If you never wanted anything to happen, it wouldn’t. But…I think that would be wrong.”

  She stared at me, her eyes losing their light. “You think I should step aside?”

  “I
didn’t say that.”

  “But you’re implying it.”

  Now I was backed into a corner. “I know this is hard for you, it would be hard for anybody, but if these two people want to be together…I think you should let it happen. Maybe not right this second, but at some point.”

  She sighed. “Denise is gorgeous and can have anyone she wants, and Charlie can get any piece of ass he wants. Why do they necessarily have to be together, so I have to look at it all the time? They can just find someone else.”

  “What’s the difference between Charlie being with Denise or being with someone else? Either way, you’re going to see him with another woman. He’s going to bring her over for games or when we go out.”

  “Yes, but she’s my friend. I’ll have to hear all about how she feels about him.”

  “She would never do that, Kat.”

  “It’s still weird. She knows I’m still in love with him. I feel like the loser Charlie didn’t want…”

  That was a little too close for comfort. “You aren’t a loser, Kat. Life just happens, and sometimes it’s not fair and it doesn’t make sense—but it happens whether you want it to or not. As hard as it is, I think the best thing for you to do is handle this with dignity. Hold your head high and be the bigger person.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Would you be able to hold your head high? If the woman Evan left you for was your friend?”

  “Not the same thing at all.”

  “I just know if you were in this situation, you wouldn’t be so inclined to accept it.”

  “No. It would suck. But…I would do it.”

  She looked away.

  “Kat.”

  She wouldn’t look at me.

  “It will get easier. I promise.”

  She shook her head, her arms across her chest. “Why are you pushing for this so hard? Are they in love with each other or something? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”