Curious Beginnings

by M. A. Innes

  They were out on Lucas and Gavin’s back porch again. Dinner Sunday just hadn’t worked out so they’d made plans for Monday. Sebastian didn’t mind though because it had given him more time with Mark. They hadn’t gotten together in person on Sunday, but they spent hours on the phone talking late into the evening.

  Gavin and Lucas let Sebastian get through dinner before the grilling began but he had a feeling that it was at Gavin’s insistence. Every time Lucas had opened his mouth at dinner, Gavin would nudge him under the table. Eventually, those nudges got to be significant because by dessert Lucas would jump in his chair and mumble about bossy little boys under his breath.

  “In my defense, you sprung it on me and only gave me about thirty seconds to process everything. I still can’t believe you were looking up gay dating advice online.”

  “What?” Gavin's mouth dropped open.

  “Yeah, did I forget to mention that part? In his ‘give me a quick tutorial on gay dating’ call he said that he’d been looking up advice online.”

  Sebastian still did not understand Lucas’s view of things. They were just talking the week before that he needed to start dating again and how he wanted to find someone who would understand the lifestyle. Well, he did.

  “I think that we’re just surprised about a lot of things, Bastian.” Gavin was trying to smooth things out but it wasn’t working, unfortunately.

  “We talked about the fact that I wanted to date. I’m not sure why it matters that he’s a man or that he’s new to the idea of age-play. We were all new at one time and he seems to be taking it in stride. You two, on the other hand, seem to be just a little bit ridiculous. Why should it matter to you that he’s a man if it doesn’t matter to me?”

  “Things just don’t work that way. You do not just meet someone and magically become gay for him. That’s in pornos and romance novels.”

  “I never said I was gay for him. I said the outside package wasn’t as important as the inside. Call it bi or heteroflexible or whatever, I don’t need a name for it. He’s special, we click, and I find him beautiful—that’s all there is to it.”

  Why did it matter what they called it or what label he put on himself? He knew what he wanted and that was Mark. Mark was sweet and funny once he relaxed and opened up. He was also sexy and incredibly erotic when he gave himself to Sebastian. That’s what it felt like…Mark surrendered to him and just let Sebastian lead the way.

  That same instinctual surrender had continued from the couch to the playroom. Mark seemed to understand that Sebastian would never hurt him and that he only wanted what was best for Mark. It had been so long since he’d gotten to take care of anyone. Just making dinner for Mark had been soothing in a way Sebastian hadn’t expected, but getting to change Mark and show him that he was special and not broken was incredible. Hopefully, his boy would believe him someday.

  Yes, he’d had a small moment of panic—or maybe worry was a better word—when he’d stripped the “adult disposable underwear” off Mark. He always wanted to smile when Mark said it that way. There had been a moment of hesitation before he’d touched Mark. But just knowing that Mark needed him helped him move past the worry.

  He wasn’t bothered by the fact that Mark had a penis. That would be stupid; he was more concerned that he wouldn’t know how to please him. That turned out to be a stupid fear, too, because duh, Sebastian had a cock as well.

  He wasn’t stupid enough to believe that one date or being changed one time would magically make things better either. However, he knew that over time he could show his beautiful boy another way to see things.

  “Does he really accept your need for the lifestyle? Just looking at porn online and telling you how nice your nursery looks isn’t a good indicator of how things will work in real life.”

  “I think he’s accepting things very well and he doesn’t seem the type to look at online porn.” Sebastian wasn’t going to go into details on Mark’s private life without his permission. He knew that his boy was nowhere near ready for that. “I’m not going to share personal things at this point because he would find it an invasion of privacy but I think he’s perfect for the lifestyle.”

  It wasn’t just the physical need for the diapers either. Mark just screamed out that he wanted someone to want him, someone to love him and care for him. He’d been doing things on his own for so long, believing no one would ever understand, that what he really needed now was someone to care for him.

  “What can you really know about him? You’ve only been on one date for crying out loud. Do you even know his favorite color? What he wants to do in life? Does he want kids? What’s his favorite meal? You’re just rushing things.”

  Sebastian couldn’t resist counting the answers off on his fingers; Lucas was starting to get on his last nerve. “Blue, because he loves the ocean but just in pictures though because he’s afraid of sharks. He loves his current job but doesn’t know if it’s short term or if it’s his passion. No desire for kids although he likes them. Spaghetti, but there have to be breadsticks. I also know about his family, his hobbies, and a lot more about his childhood than you might expect. I think you're forgetting that I’ve known him for years. He knew Ally. This isn’t something that happened overnight. It’s been happening for probably the past year. It took me a while to see it and I think he’s still trying to put it all together.”

  “A year? I forgot that he knew Ally. He doesn’t mind? That you were married before or better yet married to a woman? That would be a problem for a lot of gay guys.”

  “I don’t think labels matter much to him either. He doesn’t seem to mind the fact that I was married to a woman before.” Because of Mark’s issues—the physical ones—and his personal fears, he was still at that curious phase of his life where he was just beginning to discover his sexuality, but Sebastian couldn’t tell them that yet. It would raise too many other questions that he just wasn’t able to explain at that point.

  Sebastian didn’t mind that they were exploring things together. He personally found it incredibly erotic to know that he was Mark’s first everything. First kiss, first date, first orgasm with someone—there were so many other things that he wanted to show his boy.

  “This just seems so fast and just not you.” Lucas just wasn’t going to give up on this. Sebastian shook his head. Lucas was like a dog with a bone, and unfortunately, his love life was the bone.

  “Not me or not what you expected of me?”

  Sebastian took a deep breath. He was going to say something he couldn’t take back if he wasn’t careful. “You know, I’m just not going to do this with you right now. It feels judgmental and like an invasion of my privacy.”

  Walking across the deck, Sebastian gave Gavin a hug and left with a quick, “See you later.”

  At some point, Lucas would be ready to look at things with a more open mind or at least with less of his own personal feelings clouding his judgment. Sebastian was just going to have to be patient and not say something he would regret.

  ****

  “Did you have a good weekend? I tried to call you on Sunday but your phone kept going to voicemail. Do you need a new one? I told you that you should have gone with my—”

  “Mom! I don’t need a new phone or new carrier. I was just on the phone in the middle of something.”

  He knew ignoring his mom’s calls on Sunday night was going to come back and bite him in the ass but he hadn’t wanted to hang up on Sebastian. After their strange date on Saturday, he’d been a little bit afraid that things would be awkward between them. But when Sebastian called on Sunday, the conversation was natural.

  They’d talked about the past, about themselves, the businesses, their families. They’d even flirted a bit. Nothing too crazy, most high schoolers were probably dirtier on the phone than he was but even their flirting and teasing came naturally. It didn’t stop his blushes, but thankfully, Sebastian couldn’t see him on the phone.

  It had also made talking about his condition and f
ears easier. Sebastian didn’t let him hide what he thought about their time in the nursery and the role-play either. It was weird to think about now but when it was happening, it didn’t seem weird at all. When he was lying down and Sebastian was taking care of him, calling him Daddy and letting him take the lead felt right.

  Sebastian also made sure to answer any of Mark’s questions about the lifestyle with honesty and an openness that baffled Mark. He was so incredibly curious but asking just seemed weird. Like he was poking at Sebastian’s secrets and his marriage.

  Sebastian just took things in stride, and at one point had said that he knew Ally would have been okay with sharing their more private things with him. It was an offhand comment about the fact that she’d always found him sweet. Even though the comment probably didn’t mean anything to Sebastian, it touched Mark.

  Mark hadn’t been worried about labels or sexuality. How could he worry about labeling Sebastian when he didn’t even know what he was? Mark had been worried about Ally, however. She’d always been nice to him but would she understand if she knew? Sebastian’s off the cuff confidence in what Ally would have thought made him feel better about the whole thing.

  “Are you listening?”

  Damn. “Yes, Mom. Sorry, I was just thinking about something. Sorry.”

  “Well, I was trying to tell you about—”

  In for a penny in for a pound, “I was actually thinking about my date on Saturday.”

  “Oh, was it the barista or did you finally try online dating again?”

  “Neither actually”—deep breath—“I was with Sebastian, the client I told you about. He invited me to dinner when I went over to pick up some papers on Friday.”

  “Ohhh.”

  Yup, real person. That seemed to shut her up. There was a long pause before she continued. “Well, that’s wonderful. He owns several businesses around town, right?”

  “Yes, he’s very successful.”

  “Do you think that he…?” Mark could tell that she wasn’t sure how to phrase her concerns.

  “Yes, he’s okay with my issues.”

  “He knows?” He kind of liked hearing the utter shock in her voice.

  “Yes and he’s okay with it.” He wasn’t going to go into details of the embarrassing situation with his mother. No amount of torture would make him tell her the details of that.

  “He’s okay with it? You’ve always described him as a very nice gentleman in the past but…”

  “No, I’m sure he’s okay with everything.”

  “But he…ohhh, you know he’s okay with it.”

  “Mom, don’t say it like that.”

  Her voice dropped down to a whisper, “I read a book about that…is he…you know…kinky? Got to be careful cause I’m in the middle of the community room and these old biddies are a nosy bunch.”

  “MOM!”

  Her voice got louder as she grew more excited. “It’s okay. I understand. You know I tried to send you that book, too, but you just sent the whole box back unopened. Maybe if….”

  “I will not go into this with you!”

  “Okay, I know you like your privacy. I’ll stay out of it.”

  Yeah, right. That promise was going to last about 24 hours, tops. He should have kept his mouth shut.

  Chapter 8

  Sebastian met Mark at the door before he could even knock. “Are you sure you want to try this? I’m not going to be upset if you change your mind.”

  Not the most traditional of greetings but he was too concerned that Mark might have changed his mind about their date tonight to worry about small talk. They had talked every night this week, but by Wednesday night, they decided that they didn’t want to wait for the weekend to see each other again. After a discussion about several date options that Mark hastily shot down, they decided that he was going to come over to Sebastian’s house again for dinner on Thursday.

  Sebastian had tried to get Mark to agree on dinner out or some kind of more traditional date but Mark was adamantly against it. He refused to go out in public on a date, but dinner at Sebastian’s house again was fine. Sebastian was a little bit concerned that Mark was slightly agoraphobic. If it weren’t for the fact that Mark ran errands and willingly came over to Sebastian’s house, he would have been convinced of it.

  Pushing his troubles to the back of his mind, he focused on the moment. He would worry about the other concerns later. This time, they were going to tackle something else.

  “Yes, I’ve thought about it and I want to try. It’s nerve-wracking I’ll admit, but before we get too involved I have to know…we both have to know if this is something that feels right to me.” The unspoken words hung in the air. What would they do if Mark hated it once they got more involved in the lifestyle?

  Sebastian must have looked more skeptical than he thought because Mark just shook his head and smiled. “I promise. I’m okay with everything we talked about and I’ll let you know if something makes me uncomfortable.”

  Sebastian still wasn’t sure Mark was ready. When they’d started planning their date tonight, it had seemed like a good for Mark to get more experience with age play. Now that they were actually going to spend an entire evening playing and exploring, he was worried that they were rushing things. Or rather, that he was rushing Mark.

  Sebastian knew that he was just on the sane side of stalkerish when it came to Mark, so he knew he was more than ready to explore things. Mark was still harder to read. Sebastian didn’t want to push him so much that he scared Mark away.

  “Okay, then, baby boy. When you come in the house, we’re going to start. We’re going to keep it simple and just explore the things that we talked about. However, once you come in I’m going to take care of you. Okay?”

  They’d talked about a lot of different options when they were discussing their evening. Talking late into the night, they decided that their focus tonight was going to be letting Sebastian take care of Mark. They would still chat and be grownups in most other ways, but Sebastian would feed Mark, bathe him, and of course change him.

  “Yes. I’m good.”

  “Try again. Yes…”

  Mark blushed and shifted his feet just a little. Sebastian loved seeing his embarrassed blush as it spread across his cheeks and down his neck. “Yes, Daddy.”

  “Good boy.”

  Stepping closer, Sebastian leaned down and gave Mark a quick kiss on the lips. “I can tell that you’re going to be so good for Daddy.”

  Mark’s blush deepened but he didn’t deny it. Mark also couldn’t deny that Sebastian’s words turned him on. His diaper and loose clothing prevented Sebastian from seeing his hard cock but Sebastian was learning the other telltale signs of his boy’s passion.

  His little shift that was almost a wiggle was one of the more obvious clues. He hadn’t asked Mark outright but from what he could guess Mark only did that shift when his hard length was rubbing against the diaper. So almost adjusting himself but Sebastian thought that in the right diaper it would be more like masturbating. Once he was Mark’s daddy all the time, they were going to have to discuss that.

  Stepping back from Mark, he led his boy back to the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready, but do I need to change you first? Are you wet, baby boy, or are you still dry?”

  His boy looked down at the floor but he finally managed an answer. “I’m still dry, Daddy.”

  “Okay, baby. Then we’ll have dinner now and change you later once you’re wet.”

  One of the main goals for tonight was to get Mark used to talking about what he needed. Mark needed to get used to the idea that his diaper wasn’t shameful or something that should be hidden from Sebastian. Even if it wasn’t part of Sebastian’s kink, it was a part of Mark’s life that he needed to accept.

  Leading him over to the table, Sebastian sat down and pulled Mark to sit on his lap. Moving the plates of lasagna closer, Sebastian looked down at his puzzled boy. “I told you that I was going to take care of you tonight, right?”

&nbs
p; A still puzzled Mark nodded and then remembered to add, “Yes, Daddy.”

  “Well, this is part of that. I’m going to feed my baby boy dinner.”

  Understanding dawning on Mark, he seemed to consider it for a moment before he leaned into Sebastian’s body and cuddled close resting his head against Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian loved the fact that Mark fit on his lap and in his arms perfectly. What frustrated him though was that he couldn’t tell what Mark was thinking. Did Mark like the idea or was it just not worth protesting over? Sometimes Sebastian just wanted a flashing sign above his boy’s head that showed what he was thinking.

  They took their time with dinner, cuddling and talking as they ate. Mark was cute and sweet, cuddled up on his lap and seemed completely at ease with Sebastian’s desire to feed him. The first few bites were awkward as Mark relaxed into his role, but they soon developed a rhythm that seemed effortless.

  At one point, shortly after Ally had died, Sebastian remembered mourning the fact that he would never have someone to hold like this again. At the time, it had seemed impossible that he would find someone else who would mean so much to him again. Having Mark curled up on his lap, depending on him like this, was healing in ways he knew Mark wouldn’t understand.

  As they finished dinner, Mark started to squirm in Sebastian’s lap. He knew right away what his boy’s problem was. His nervous boy knew that he probably had to go and was desperately trying to hold it in.

  After Mark had told Sebastian what his physical problems were, Sebastian had started researching it online. Trying to stop himself from peeing could actually damage Mark’s bladder and kidneys further even though he couldn’t feel the signals.

  “No, Boy. I know what you’re doing. You’re not supposed to fight it, remember? We talked about this. If your body needs to go then we’re not going to worry about it. I want you to relax and just sit here with me. You’re wearing the new diapers, right?”