Lovable Lawyer

by Karen Deen

  I can’t even breathe, his words have me on the edge of a cliff, and I want it. I want it all. Every single thing he’s describing. I can’t help it now, I’m grinding against his body trying to ease my aching.

  “Oh…oh yes, please, Lex, I need it…oh god.” I want him to touch me. For the first time ever, I really want a man to fucking touch me like this.

  “Right at the moment when you’re riding my hand so hard and you can’t quite get there, I lean down and take your nipple that is so fucking hard, and I bite it to the point you want to scream but instead all you can do is moan. I’m sending that pleasure through you, and you’ve reached the pinnacle. Like now. You are so fucking turned on that you’re about to explode. It’s coming, Mia, feel that orgasm. Let it overtake you. Let go and know it’s me taking you over the edge and you are safe to feel it all. Come, Mia, come for me now!”

  His voice is all I need, and I’m lost. Closing my eyes and my mouth dropping open, I can’t breathe. All I can see is stars and the waves of pleasure rolling through my body. Like I’m out of my body and floating in the sensations.

  His voice whispering in my ear brings me out of the floating experience. “That’s it, my beautiful girl, come back to me.” Feeling his lips on mine, I open my eyes to see him. I can’t do anything but kiss him like my life depends on it. The sexual tension between us is so high that he must be ready to explode.

  Pulling apart, he settles me back on his arm and takes me in tight to his body again.

  His hand rubs my back while my breathing starts returning to normal.

  “Lex, do you…”

  “Don’t even ask that. This is not about me. I will never forget that vision of you letting go and the ecstasy taking over. The most beautiful sight. That’s all I need to feel pleasure.”

  “But…” His finger is on my lips before I can finish my sentence.

  “Shhh, just close your eyes and rest with me. Just give me a few minutes.”

  Knowing his cock is as hard as steel, feeling it still pushing against me, I feel guilty but don’t have the energy to argue.

  “Lex.”

  “Mmm.” His voice is soft now.

  “Thank you for not pushing for more.” I feel so dreamy now, still floating.

  “The choice is always yours, beautiful. Always…”

  Totally at peace, I know I’m drifting off to sleep, but I’ll just take a second to lie here. Everything just feels perfect for this moment. I don’t want to lose it.

  “Mommy, move over. I can’t fit.”

  “Yeah, bud,” I mumble.

  Shifting back a little makes Lex groan behind me.

  Lex!

  Shit!

  Where am I? What the hell is going on?

  I sit up completely startled. Not meaning to, I launch Jack onto the floor from the couch.

  “Jack, why are you out of bed?” I open my eyes more and look around. Realizing it’s morning and I’ve slept on the couch all night.

  With Lex!

  I’ve been spooning on the couch with Lex.

  Dammit, how am I going to explain this to everyone? I’m a married woman and I’m here sleeping with another man.

  “Because I woke up. So, I came to say good morning and I’m hungry.” Such a simple answer.

  “Morning, Jack,” Lex’s deep voice comes from behind me.

  “Hi, Lex. Can we make pancakes?” Jack’s excited voice at having Lex here is just too much this early in the morning.

  “Right, morning, yes, um breakfast. Go to the toilet and come back.” Thank god he happily skips off down the hallway, doing as he’s asked.

  “Lex, quick, get up.” Turning, I find him lying with his hands behind his head with the smuggest grin.

  “Mia, breathe. We were just sleeping, nothing more. He’s four, he won’t understand. Now come here and give me my good morning.”

  “Stop it.” Smacking him on the arm, I try to stand but he grabs me around the waist and pulls me on top of him.

  “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out again.” His lips take mine before I have time to think. Oh god, they’re like a weapon that has a tranquilizer in them. With just his touch and my fight leaves me every time.

  “That’s better. Morning, beautiful.” He looks so hot all ruffled in the morning.

  “Morning,” I say, resting my forehead on his. My hands on his chest where I can feel every hard muscle.

  “Morning, love birds, coffee?” Mason’s laughing voice comes from behind the couch. I didn’t even hear him coming. All I can do is groan. This morning just gets better and better.

  “Great.”

  As I try to get up, Lex just starts laughing. “It’s fine, it’s not like he didn’t know. I’ll talk to him.”

  Nodding a little, I need to move before Jack is back.

  “Okay. I need to get Kayla.” His arms releasing me, I stand and straighten myself back up.

  Before I can even get two feet away, Jack is back running straight for Lex.

  He can’t know. I don’t want to confuse him. Especially if things turn to shit. Which in my life, they usually do.

  “Pancakes. Let’s go.” Jack is already excited and hasn’t even noticed or asked why we were asleep on the couch together.

  “Hang on there, buddy. I need to help Mom with Kayla first. Uncle Mason is in the kitchen. Go and say good morning to him.” Lex is now standing with Jack in his arms. Putting him down, his little feet are already running as soon as they hit the floor.

  “Uncle Mason! Lex is making pancakes for breakfast!” I hear him yelling as I try to escape to my bedroom.

  My mind is racing along with my heart. What the hell am I doing? I can’t let this happen.

  Happiness is not something meant for me. I can’t let the kids get hurt anymore. I’m barely functioning, but I won’t let anything bad touch them again. If I let them get close to Lex, when he leaves, they’ll be devastated.

  Stop pretending, it’s you that will be shattered. You’re using the kids as your excuse, but it’s your heart that’s on the line.

  As I stop over top of Kayla in the playpen, she smiles up at me like the world is the same as it was yesterday. But it’s not. My whole universe has shifted, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

  I feel his hand on my shoulder. He doesn’t have to say a word. Just his touch is grounding me a little. Seeing his face behind me, Kayla starts to get excited and her hands and feet are flapping faster now. Now my own daughter is a traitor too. He has put the Lex spell over her just like he has her mother.

  “Mia, talk to me. You know keeping it inside is no good.”

  “What are we doing, Lex?”

  Turning me to face him, his smile makes me weak. “We are becoming who we should be, starting a life together. I know you’re frightened, I see it written all over your face. But your eyes tell me the truth. They can’t lie. You want this, you’re just scared to take that step. I get it, and I will let you take the lead every step of the way.”

  “I can’t do it. I don’t know how. The obstacles are too high.”

  “No, they aren’t. They might be tall, but I will lift you up. We’ll climb them together, I promise. I know I keep saying this, and I’ll probably repeat it until I’m blue in the face, but I need you to trust me not to hurt you. It’s okay you can’t do that yet, but the more I remind you, hopefully one day it will sink in and you’ll believe it.”

  He embraces me tightly like he’s trying to imprint me with his words. Then pulls back as he hears Jack getting closer. He bends slightly so we’re eye level.

  “I’ll go slow, but I’m not walking away.”

  Swallowing a big lump in my throat, I reply, “Super slow,” my voice quivering.

  “Slow as a snail if you need me to.”

  “Who is slow as a snail?” Jack is now beside us, and I need to distract myself from the intense situation. Bending down picking up Kayla, I snuggle her tight.

  “You are, Jack. You are slow like a snail.�
�� Lex takes the reins for me.

  “Not me, I’m super speedy like a race car. Just watch me.” Taking off back out of the room, he’s running to show us.

  As soon as I turn back to Lex, he looks relieved.

  “I’ve got you, baby. Relax, and for once, let the goodness overtake the darkness. I promise you will only ever know happiness now.”

  His voice and words are like a spell. Kayla leans out from me with her arms out for Lex to take her.

  Maybe he’s right.

  I need to take a lesson from my kids.

  All they see is sunshine and rainbows since Lex turned up in our lives.

  I want to just see that too.

  To do that, I need to move on past the darkness.

  Easier said than done.

  Chapter Eighteen

  LEX

  I know I need to keep Mia out of her head today.

  Her emotions are all over the place. The fear of Monday is always there just below the surface, and we still need to talk about that. The confusion about her feelings for me is mixed with the exhilaration she’s still feeling from last night. I’m still trying to process it, so I’m sure for her it’s ten times harder.

  When I drove here from work, I never expected the night we shared. I just wanted to see her and make sure she was alright. The ice cream and movie were exactly what I had imagined. The sort of night I’m hoping we can share more of in the future. But what came after that has left me feeling on cloud nine. Watching her, I’m just praying I didn’t push her to a place she never wanted to go. Although we stayed fully clothed, it was one of the most intimate things I’ve done with a woman. No one has responded to me like Mia does. She brings out a gentleness in me I didn’t know I had. For me, sex has always been a little rough, hard and with no emotion. The women I’ve been with have wanted the same thing.

  Mia’s different.

  She is soft and gentle. Someone to cherish and make feel like she is treasured. Last night I wanted so much more, but I know I’ve got to take baby steps. Something I’m not usually very good at. If I want something I go after it and nothing stands in my way. This time no one is getting between Mia and me, but I’m not charging in there like a bull. I promised her slow, and that’s what she’ll get from me. Part of me is hoping like hell her definition of slow and mine are two different things.

  “I just need to freshen up. Can you take Kayla out to the living room with Jack for me?” I know what she’s really saying is she needs a few minutes.

  “Sure. Come on, ladybug. Let’s go and see if we can contain your brother long enough to get some breakfast happening. Take as long as you need,” I tell Mia.

  Walking out of the room, I’m trying not to laugh at myself. What even is my life? Cuddling a baby girl while I’m on my way to cook pancakes with her four-year-old brother. If only my mother could see me now. She was horrified at me that last day I saw her. This would blow her mind. Actually, I wonder how she would feel about being a grandmother. Had it ever crossed her mind, that one day I would marry and have children? Probably not. She would believe that children would interfere with my career path. I’m still so angry at her, but I know at some stage I need to speak to her and my father. I don’t want to sever the relationship, but it will be a distant one. The obligatory visits for birthdays and Christmas. The kiss on the cheek at charity events when we run into each other. Pretending to know everything that’s going on in their life when I’m asked by people how Dustin and Eloise are. It’s sad, but it’s just how it will be. I didn’t choose this, they laid the path for the relationship a long time ago. Now they have what they created.

  A token son.

  Meeting Paige at the bottom of the stairs, she steals Kayla from me for her morning cuddle. I swear these kids will never know a life without hugging and feeling love. It’s here in abundance for them.

  “Morning, Lex, another sleepover, I see.” She just keeps walking, giggling away, and doesn’t let me answer. I follow her into the kitchen because I may as well get this over and done with. They’re both busting to say something.

  “I slept on the couch. It was too late to go home.”

  Mason just rolls his eyes as Jack once again rats me out. “Yeah, he slept with Mommy.” Proud as punch he can add to the conversation.

  “You what?” Paige nearly chokes on her own words trying to get them out fast enough.

  “Yeah, Lex, please explain.” Mason is loving this. Asshole.

  “Calm down, Paige. We were watching a movie and both fell asleep. That’s it. We slept on the couch together. End of story.” Well, not quite, but there is no way I’m sharing that moment with anyone.

  “Lex, be careful. She’s vulnerable.” I can see the concern on Paige’s face.

  “I know, but she is also a big girl who can choose her own destiny. I won’t hurt her. You have to know that.” I’m a little frustrated that I need to justify myself to her, but on the other hand, I’m happy she’s so protective of her.

  “I do, but I also know that whether you like it or not, you’re a boy, and boys do some really dumb things sometimes.”

  “Wow, hurting over here,” Mason pipes in. “I never do dumb things. The others, well, I totally agree, but not me.” Mason is trying to occupy Jack while I get grilled by his girlfriend.

  “Keep dreaming, Mason,” she says, leaving him and walking off to the living room with Kayla, the conversation finished. Thank goodness.

  Leaning back against the counter, I just take a minute too. From the moment our eyes opened this morning, I feel like it’s been a blur.

  After I take in a deep breath, it dawns on me that if I’m lucky enough to share a life with Mia and the kids, then every morning will be like this.

  Time to suck it up and get on with it.

  “Hey, Jack, you think Uncle Mason will be better than me at making pancakes or am I the king of the kitchen?” I call to him, and he’s running before Mason even has time to start to answer.

  “I will always be better than Lex at everything,” Mason tries to convince Jack as he arrives in the kitchen.

  “Nuh uh. He is better at making Mommy smile and laugh than you!” Jack is already dragging the stool to the counter where he knows he is allowed to help.

  “Yeah, buddy, I’ll give him that one. He is pretty good at that.”

  I’m still standing there speechless as Mason grabs my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

  “Keep up the good work, man. You both deserve this.” Mason’s words snap me out of it, and I know Jack is waiting for me to say something.

  “Thanks, my little champion. Now let’s see how good Mason is at flipping pancakes.”

  With that, the breakfast feast championship begins.

  MIA

  “Mia, are you in here? I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” Paige pokes her head into my room. Seeing me sitting on my bed just staring into space, she takes a seat next to me.

  “Oh sorry, time got away from me,” I mumble.

  “Don’t be silly. There’s no rush. The boys have the kids, and there’s a couple of huge egos swirling in my kitchen trying to compete to make the best breakfast.” She laughs, and I can imagine the scene out there.

  “I better go and sort out the kids then.”

  “No, they’re fine. I promise. Now, you want to tell me what has you hiding in here?”

  “He kissed me,” I blurt out.

  “Okay, and did you like it?” Paige gently prods me to continue.

  “It was so amazing, I don’t even know how to describe it,” I say, dropping my head into my hands.

  “So, what’s the problem, did you not want him to?”

  “No, I wanted it, over and over again. I almost begged him to do more. What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t stand men touching me, but Lex, I want him to touch me in all the ways I never thought I would let another man do again. It’s too soon, I’m still married. I’m just so torn. He makes me feel so alive, so why am I panicking?”

  �
��Let’s get something settled right now. You stopped being married to Edward the moment he hurt you the first time. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. It’s the way you love and respect another soul. He stopped doing that a long time ago. The way I see it, your soul has been single for a very long time. Don’t deny it happiness because of that douchebag.”

  How can someone I’ve only just met make everything sound so easy? Her words are making sense of my jumbled thoughts.

  “He’s a good man, Mia. One of the best. If you’re having these feelings for him too, don’t let your past ruin your future. I wouldn’t let him anywhere near you if I was worried in the slightest, let alone let him lay you out on my couch and have you moaning.”

  Her words startling me, I look straight at her. “Oh god, you saw us, didn’t you? I’m so embarrassed.” My cheeks are burning, and I imagine them being bright red.

  “Don’t be. It was only for a split second. I woke feeling better and was coming down to check on you. I know you told me to stop, but anyway, last night may have cured me. As soon as I saw the two of you wrapped in such a passionate kiss, I quickly raced back to my room and woke Mason to tell him. Sorry not sorry. I was a little excited.”

  “Oh god, Paige, don’t do this. I’m struggling trying to go slow as it is. Don’t join the Lex camp. Can you just stay in the Mia camp for a little while? Be the big sister and pretend to scare him off or something until I get my head around it all.”

  We both look at each other and burst out laughing. Paige grabs me and we’re hugging and laughing at the same time.

  “Love you, Mia, it will all be fine. I just know it will. You will get your HEA.”

  I pull back and look at her. “That’s what I call it, too! HEA!”