Dead Paper Birds

by McKinney, Megan

  I landed bending my knees to absorb the impact. I hopped over and used a car as a shield so I could take in my general area. It looked clear. I couldn’t rely on my eyes though, these damn things like to hide and there were hiding spots everywhere. Alley ways, vehicles and of course the buildings themselves. Not to mention people were in the vicinity, three that I knew of and I still couldn’t shake the feeling I was being watched. Just nerves. That’s all. I tried to tell myself, but it wasn’t just nerves. I don’t know how I knew but I knew. I was being watched from somewhere. I looked around as best as I could but it didn’t take much to be able to hide here. I was at a disadvantage at this angle. I couldn’t see much from here.

  Everything down here seemed to be varying shades of grey, green and red. The rain and sun had bleached everything of color except for the rust and the plants that grew over everything. The cars that choked the streets were a more of shades of grey and red than any other color. They had been leached of color from the sun, and in combination with the rain, the paint hadn’t stood a chance. The colors that were left behind were dull and sun washed. All of the vehicles sat on rims, their tires lost their air a long time ago. Down here it was far more obvious that nature was reclaiming everything. Grass and other plants were pushing their way up through the cement. In some places the heights of the buildings were really the only things that distinguished what used to be the city from parks. With autumn rolling in the green had taken a backseat to the reds and oranges that now dotted the trees and ground.

  An empty bottle was rolling on its side next to the dumpster. I picked it up bouncing it in my hand. I could always throw it and potentially bring out any infected that were hiding but it wouldn’t do any good in dealing with people. But empty bottles always come in handy for making distractions. I slipped it into a side pocket on my backpack.

  Carefully I moved out from behind the dumpster. I hugged the buildings staying out of the road. This way I didn’t have to wind my way through a sea of cars. I made sure I moved quickly. If that herd was still on the move then I wanted to be out of here when they decided that I wasn’t in the building anymore. Not that they would do any actual searches, they didn’t have the brains to do that. Or if those people I had seen decided they wanted to do more of a formal meet and greet, I wanted to be well away from them. Eventually the feeling of being watched left me, but I still kept looking over my shoulder, just to make sure I wasn’t being followed. As of right now I was the only one moving through the streets. It wasn’t unusual for me to hear odd things out here. I usually pushed them off onto animals or onto infected. But seeing those people made me question it. Every odd sound I heard had me scuttling against walls, looking around for the source of the noise. Finally, I had to order myself to calm down. I wasn’t doing myself any favors by being so jumpy. Letting my nerves get the better of me like that would only get me killed. That’s all.

  I finally left the plaza behind and moved into alley ways. They were smaller and had a less likely chance of infected catching me by surprise. But back in here the feeling came back. Was someone watching me? Was I being followed and I’m just blind? I stared up around me, there was nowhere for someone to hide, unless they wanted to hide on the roof. I chewed on my cheek, like it was gum. I just needed to go home. Pull my shoes off and call it a day. I made myself walk faster and faster until I was almost running. It wasn’t long before I started passing my marks that I had made to show that I had cleared that area. My cans and bottles on strings, they were all at various heights. But they weren’t tall enough or low enough that infected could just run under or over, they would have to run through them. I had secured them well enough that it would take a lot of force to tear them off the walls but they would make a lot of noise.

  I squatted down by one of them so I could check the knots. They were exactly how I had left them. No one had messed with them. That was a good sign. If someone came running through here they would have jostled them or even torn them down. They made enough noise I would hear them at least a couple of blocks away. I could never count on it staying clear but it wouldn’t be much of a buildup if infected had moved back in. Unless a herd moved through though. Always had to be on the lookout for one of those, they could all move surprisingly quick and were extremely dangerous. I somehow managed to get lucky when it came to out maneuvering them. Like today, that was luck, with a little bit of quick thinking. That’s how I made it day to day. I ducked under my cans. They rattled softly behind me.

  I came around the corner and heard soft moaning coming from in front of me. I moved to a crawl and came from around a dumpster. There was one of them sitting in the mouth of the alley rocking back and forth, flipping its hands everywhere. Then fifty yards in front of it was the mouth of the sewer that was my home free card. It must have come through thru one of the buildings or who knows where. I should check my other markings. But, I looked around my shoulder, I still had that feeling. It was like an inch on the back of my neck, like someone was staring at me. I tried to shake it off, but it wasn’t going away. No, I would check them later. I needed to get away from this feeling, it was going to drive me absolutely crazy. If someone really was watching me, I didn’t want to wait to see how long it would take them before they decided watching was boring. Quietly I pulled out my knife and moved towards the infected. The blade itself was ten inches long, it was straight edged on one side while on the other it was serrated about halfway up. My dad had given it to me for one of my birthdays. The infected didn’t even know I was there until I shoved my knife up into his skull penetrating his brain, in fact my knife was long enough that it could almost come out his forehead. I twisted it to sever the spinal cord and pulled it out. Its body twitched in my arms before I laid his body down to avoid making any unnecessary noise.

  I looked quickly around me to make sure that there were no more before I sprinted to the sewer. I pulled the grating open and slammed it shut behind me, slamming the lock into its place before walking away. Praying that the feeling would go away.

  Chapter two… Note to self: Don’t do it…

  I stepped up to the door and knocked on it. I looked around nervously while rearranging my back pack to sit more comfortably on my shoulders. I rolled my head, trying to get my neck to pop. I still hadn’t gotten over the being watched feeling but I still had to deliver what I had found. I heard locks being unlocked and the door opened. A wrinkled, blue eye looked out at me. I pulled out a brown bottle with amber liquid inside it, I sloshed it enticingly. Even with the label ripped off it was obvious as to what it was.

  The eye opened a little wider and opened the door open the rest of the way gesturing me in with a greedy look on her face. I stepped inside gripping tightly to the bottle. The old woman shut the door behind me and hobbled down the hallway, resting heavily on her cane. She was wearing sweats with a lumpy purple sweater. I could see her pink scalp underneath her white hair. Her hair rested right above her shoulders but it was so thin, that it moved with the slightest breeze. I walked slowly behind her, close enough so I could catch the next door as it swung shut behind her but far enough away that she couldn’t whack me with her cane. My grandfather had done that. I wrinkled my face at the memory. He had hit me across the back when I crossed his path without excusing myself. After that believe me I didn’t cross his path again without saying excusing myself.

  I entered the room and the smell of mold and decay hit first. I closed my eyes momentarily, to give myself a chance to compose myself. Most people tried to keep things in some semblance of order but these people obviously didn’t give a rat’s ass. This wasn’t the usual meeting spot, otherwise I would have demanded anywhere but here. I stepped over rotted food, clothing and what even looked like feces. Terrific housekeeping people, I wrinkled my nose as I came to stand in the middle of the room. The old woman gestured me to stay where I was while she went through another door. Great, yeah, I’ll just stay here and enjoy myself. I shifted my feet. From now on we weren’t meeting here, at leas
t not until they got this cleaned up. I peered at one of the corners. Eck. Looks like they didn’t use the toilet, just the corner. Gross.

  I was slowly breathing in an out of my mouth to avoid getting the worst of the smells when she came back in smiling, followed by two men. She was missing all but her two front teeth it looked like. Both men were younger than the woman but were older than I was. I sighed inwardly, “Where’s Frank at?” I knew the old woman she was the one that always greeted me at the door, wherever our meeting spot was, but these two, I didn’t know. They didn’t even look familiar.

  The younger of the two men fiddled with a gun on his belt. “Frank is um… well shall we say… indisposed right now.”

  I stood still, except I moved my hand closer to my pistol which was sitting on my hip. “What happened to him? He was fine a few days ago.” They were both standing absolutely still and I had to use all of my restraint to keep my hands from twitching. My hand ached to have my pistol in it. But I had to keep the situation calm, grabbing it would only be detrimental to the situation.

  “Frank was a good man... but he was very greedy. Ripping all of his customers off… including us. And we are not men to rip off…” He giggled, and swayed unsteadily, like a drunkard. “We are willing to continue trading with you naturally. You are one of the few who is willing to get what we want…” His eyes traveled down to the brown bottle that was still clasped in my other hand. I barely glanced at it before tossing it to him. He almost didn’t catch it, he fumbled with it before wrapping his two hands around it, and the biggest smile was plastered on his face. He opened the bottle, with a faint hiss from the carbonation he sniffed it and took a chug of it.

  While he was busy chugging, the second man was circling me, gauging me. I eyed him and stared him down, I spoke to him. “I’m willing to sell to anyone who isn’t going to rip me off or steal from me. But for insurance I’m going to have to sell it to you for double the usual price.”

  The one who I was guessing was the ringleader stopped drinking from the bottle. He wiped his upper lip and looked me in the eyes. “And why would I pay that?” He swayed again having to catch himself by placing his hand on the wall, definitely drunk. Terrific, this was going to be fun.

  I stood straighter. Trying to take advantage of what little height I did have. “Because I don’t know you. And therefore, I don’t trust you. And merchandise is becoming just a little harder to find these days. Frank always paid my prices. He never complained about them. I’m not going out there and risking my life for a penny or two. You messed Frank up, therefore you’re saying you’re standing in his place. That means you agree to deal with me. I need to know that you’re serious about this. Otherwise I’ll have to find someone else. Because how am I supposed to know if you’re good for it if you don’t show me you’re serious?” I spread my hands wide in front of me.

  The second guy spit. “We won’t pay double. Don’t you know what happens to girls all alone in the big city who ask for too much?”

  He leered towards me and I pulled my gun and pointed it directly at his chest. “Don’t even try it. I won’t hesitate to blow a hole through your heart.”

  “Lee, cut it out.” His partner slurred. The ringleader looked back at me. “Double is asking for a lot. What if we just pay the normal price? We promise not to rob you afterwards.” He sneered.

  I chewed on my lip while glancing between the two of them. “No. You take my offer or the highway. There’s plenty of other buyers who’ll happily pay double and then some.” My fingers were still resting on the trigger, ready to shoot my way out if I needed to.

  “Well since Frank…” He giggled again, almost as if it was a stress reflex. “Won’t be up an moving anytime soon, we’ll be your new regulars for one. Two, I really am not in the mood to negotiate. Oh, and remember there’s three of us and one of you.” As if to drive his point home, the old woman cocked a shotgun behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw that she was standing up firmly on two feet, no cane in sight.

  I gave them my best diplomatic smile all the while chewing on my cheek. “Well I don’t think I have much of a choice now do I?” Inside I was seething, do they really think that they’ll get away with this? The ringleader smiled back at me, and gestured to the table. I shoved my pistol back in its holder, even though my gut was screaming at me to put it back in my hand and just shoot my way out. I pulled my backpack off my back, while I ignored the two-threatening people in the room and focused on the ringleader. I pulled out the three bottles of liquor, several cigarette packs and placed them on the table. It pained me to give all of it away but I had a sinking feeling that if I tried to hold any back they would take it anyways, I wasn’t in a position to use to an advantage. But I’ll be damned if I give away the oats or rice. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of ration cards. He counted them out before setting them on the table.

  “Here you go.” He pulled out a duffel back and shoved everything into it. “Until next time.” He reached out his hand and I shook it, squeezing his hand as hard as I could. He didn’t even cringe only squeezed back. He finally dropped it before leaving the room first, followed by the old woman and finally the other guy. He glared at me until he was forced to turn his back on me and pass through the door. As the door closed I let out the breath I had been holding since I had unpacked my pack. I stuffed the ration cards into my front pocket.

  I waited till the door was shut before leaving myself. As I exited the building I glanced around me before noticing the blood that was splattered all over me. I groaned. I paused to zip my jacket up hiding all the evidence. Too bad that didn’t have an effect on them. I know it would have on me. Besides there’s nothing worse than being asked where all the blood had come from when you weren’t supposed to be leaving the city and murdering someone was still illegal. At least in here murder was still frowned on. If you’re a civilian at least. If the wrong person saw the blood I’d be in hot water. Hot enough that I’d be boiled alive.

  Ahead of me there was one guy leaning against the corner, but besides him and myself the street was empty. I checked my watch. Ah, curfew would be coming into effect within the hour. I stepped nimbly towards him and he stood at attention. As I came level with him he fell in step with me. “Were you able to get what I asked for?” He met me at every meeting spot almost every day for the past two months, asking the same questions. He was determined I’d give him that. Since Frank and I moved our meeting spots to different locations every time. But today I’d finally found what he was waiting for in a set of luggage.

  I reached into a leg pocket and pulled out a bottle of prenatal vitamins. “Sorry it took so long to find them.”

  “It’s fine. Thank you.” He said graciously. I held out my other hand. He slapped five ration cards into it and grabbed the vitamins out of my other hand. He then turned around and walked back from where he had come from. I watched him walk away and disappear into the gloom before I continued on through the winding streets. People peered at me through dirt choked windows. In here everything wasn’t as grey but there wasn’t much more color either. As I passed by house after house I could see dozens of faces staring down at me. Too afraid to be out this close to curfew. Wimps. I couldn’t help but feel both angry and sad for them. Angry that they were too afraid to stand up for themselves, angry that they were happy to live this squalid life. And sad because what other choice did they have?

  I passed through an intersection but glanced down both ways before crossing. The few cars that were driven here didn’t like to stop for pedestrians, in fact most of the time they liked to speed up. I’d seen it happen enough that crossing the streets was just as apprehensive as going outside sometimes. I was halfway through the street when a door burst open from one of the apartment buildings across from me. Two soldiers came out of the building dragging a man in between them. Behind them a woman followed, sobbing and screaming for them to let him go. In between sobs I could hear her say that he was her only son and that they
had no right to take him. A third soldier took the butt of his gun and hit her in the temple. She went down without another word. As she fell to the ground the man started panicking and tried to rip himself out of the soldier’s grasps. They only held on tighter and threw him in the back of the truck and climbed in after him.

  They started up the truck and I ran out of the street the rest of the way. They blew past me, flinging dirt and gravel on me. I covered my eyes until the air had settled down. I opened them, slowly. I had to blink rapidly to before I was able to see clearly. I turned and took a hesitant step towards the down woman but another woman burst out of the door. She knelt down next to her and pulled an arm around her shoulder and half carried, half dragged the woman back inside. After a pause I continued walking. Another consignment. Another civilian torn from his family to serve and help protect this ‘great’ city. I bit down on my cheek. Just go home. Don’t cause trouble.

  Chapter three… I wish I could be a tree

  The rest of the way home was uneventful. No more soldiers, no people on the streets. It was calm and quiet. I had purposely forced myself to avoid looking down any side streets. The only place I kept my eyes focused on was where I had to place my feet next. But inside my head, it was a whirlwind. I was a coward. I know there was nothing I could have done besides get myself hurt but I should have done something. Isn’t that what good people do regardless of the consequences? Then I must not be a good person or maybe I'm just selfish. I don't want their attention on me. If I was caught just loitering near the wall they tended to get pissy. If they started watching me how would I provide for my family? I wouldn’t be able to come and go like I do. When it comes to keeping people in or out, they had a tendency to be over zealous in their efforts and that usually meant to shoot first and ask questions later. So, does that mean I’m selfish? That I would rather my family and myself stayed safe and out of sight instead of helping people who need it? I don’t know. My family has always been my priority but what if one day I need help and no one steps forward to help because I had never helped anyone else? Is it worth it? This argument could go back and forth for days with no answer. If dad was here I could talk to him. He always had answers. He always seemed to know what to do.