Dead Paper Birds

by McKinney, Megan

He blinked. “Since we left, I feel like someone’s watching and I swear I heard something mechanical but I didn’t see anything. I happened to look back and I thought something was flying way back, near the middle of the bridge.”

  Suspiciously I looked back again. There was nothing moving, besides Richard and Brody. “You’re not the only one.” I murmured.

  “What do you mean?” His voice was sharp, commanding.

  He was staring down at me with a different look in his eyes, I didn’t know if it was anger or dread. “Lately I’ve felt like someone’s either been following me or watching me somehow. It always seems to happen when I leave the wall. And then just yesterday I nearly ran into three people, decked out in almost full biohazard gear.”

  “And you chose not to say anything?”

  “And who exactly would I tell? I’m not supposed to exactly be leaving am I?”

  He opened his mouth and ran his tongue across his teeth. “You should have said something before we left. There’s precautions we could have taken.”

  I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. He grabbed my back pack and jerked me backwards. I pulled my arm holding my knife up, I may be short but my knife was long enough that I set it against his throat. At the contact he froze. I applied just enough pressure to let him feel how sharp it was. He let go of me and one of his hands was slowly moving down towards his hip.

  “You do that again, and I’ll give you a red smile.” I dropped my arm, before continuing on my way.

  Down here on the flat ground I migrated over to the edge of the highway. I stepped carefully along the edge. There were less cars over here and I didn’t have to wind in an out of them. For the most part I could just go straight. There was the occasional car that thought it could drive on the shoulder but for the most part they stayed in their lanes. The muscles in my leg were burning and my stomach was trying to eat itself. I stopped by a SUV that had crashed into the car in front of it. I set my backpack down and climbed up onto the roof of the car. I pulled my backpack up beside me and dug through it. I pulled out a pack of dried apples. Yum. I opened the pack and pulled a slice out. It tasted so good. Fresh would have been best but this still tasted good.

  The other three followed my lead and pulled out something to munch on while sitting on top of cars. There was no telling if there was something under them or not. In this case it was better to sit up high. I tried to eat slowly but it tasted so good that I gulped the apple down.

  Richard pulled out a map. Even from over here I could see that it was still white, with no stains or tears on it. Brand new. He unfolded it and set it across his lap. He ran his finger along it. “We’re about a mile or two away from where the highway divides.” He folded the map back up and slid it gently back into his pocket.

  I allowed myself to fall gently backwards, resting my back on the car. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Beside me I could hear them sliding off of the cars and starting to move on. I wanted to groan. Nothing would be better to be able to just lie here for a while longer. I pushed myself into a sitting position before I slid down, landing on my feet. My feet were starting to feel like lead. My legs didn’t want to keep picking them up. Well they were going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

  It didn’t take us long to get to the split that Richard was talking about. When it came into view, I left the side of the highway to walk closer to them. I need to know which way they want to go because I’m only willing to go one of the two ways unless I have no other choice. One split away to the distance on our left to residential areas while the other continued straight, eventually circling and entering the downtown area. Dad had told me to avoid the downtown area at all costs. I was only to go there if I had no other choice, absolutely no other choice. If I had the choice to go back then I would go back before going down there. He stressed that every time the subject came up, unless there was no other choice available. Richard pulled out his map from one of his pockets. He laid it out on the hood of a car, after carefully checking underneath to make sure that it was clear. We circled around it, I occasionally glanced around to make sure nothing was trying to come up on us. Across from me Brody was doing the same thing. Habits. I scrutinized it. It looked like a bunch of random lines drawn everywhere with little numbers and symbols written on it.

  Richard touched the map with his index finger. “This is where we are. From what can be gathered the sightings of people have been away from the city and downtown areas. More towards the rural counties. They have a tendency to stay away from larger population dwellings. So, we want to head west.” He then pointed up to the road that went straight. The one that headed towards downtown. “That’s our path.”

  I chewed on my cheek. “Listen, I know that you guys have your reliable sources but seriously, if there really are people who are immune wouldn’t there have been a bigger hubbub about it? Why has no one else heard anything? Everyone likes to talk, it eventually would have been leaked to everyone else. And say they are out there, how do you know if they don’t move their camps? Or migrate like birds do? Summers over, they might be heading south even while we’re standing here talking, especially if they are reliant on food that they can gather. How do you know that they are that way?” I forced myself to stop talking. I was going on. That was unusual. I usually talked as little as possible. Must be nerves.

  Richard folder up the map with care. “We have our information, and you are not privy to it.”

  I opened my mouth to argue but Brody shot me a look and shook his head at me. Fine. I shut my mouth.

  Instead of saying something I looked up at the positioning of the sun instead, we were moving too slowly. The sun was still high up in the sky but it wouldn’t be for long. It was already on its downward trek. I bit my cheek hard enough to almost draw blood. Again. “I don’t like the idea of being out in the open after dark. They can see better than we can. We might want to think about securing a place for the night. Not immediately but it should be on our minds.”

  Richard stared at me coldly while Dean rested his face in his hands with his elbows on the car still, but Brody broke in first before Richard could make a comeback. “Just because we’re leaving the city behind doesn’t mean that there won’t be shelters. Houses that are empty that we can stay in. The suburbs can’t be as dangerous as the city is. Everyone was evacuated out of there.”

  I stared at him hard and long enough that he started fumbling with his sleeves on his jacket. “Why would you say that? Of course it’s just as dangerous. The only reason we only encountered so few infected is because we stayed outside, we didn’t go ‘exploring’, and we kept moving. As soon as we stop for more than a few minutes the greater the chance will be of them finding us and trying to tear us into pieces. It’s just as dangerous as anywhere else because they travel where the food is, they don’t just stay in one building and call it home. Someone could have passed through and brought infected with them, like fleas or cockroaches. Infected are attracted by noise and even the quietest person still makes enough noise to attract them.” I stepped back, breathing angrily. I did not want to comprehend the stupidity what he had said. Just like nature. Where the prey go the predators follow. What was so difficult to understand about that?

  “But see you’re not alone. There’s three other people who can help secure a location and take watches. That’s what your forgetting Alice. You’re so used to being solo that the idea of depending on other people baffles you. Why don’t you open up and let people, like me help you?” Brody licked his lips and looked at me with moist eyes. He reached out with his hand as if to touch mine.

  I stepped back quickly, balling my hands into fists. “I don’t need help. Especially not from you.” I spit out. I had to get away from him. From all of them. I headed down the left side of the highway, the one that led away from the downtown area. If they want to go the other way then be my guest. I had to hold my arms straight at my sides to keep from hitting the cars that were in my way. I want to hit something, anything at thi
s point! Just walking away wasn’t enough. I want to go back there and knock their teeth out. I want to feel their bones snapping under my fists. I want to listen to them beg me to stop. It would serve them right. Have they dealt with a horde? Have they been held to the ground while an infected tried to tear their throats out? Have they been helpless while their father was gunned down? No. I but I have. I’ve survived all of that. I have the experience that they’re lacking. If they weren’t going to listen to me then what was the point of me being out here? Guys are all the same. They assume that a petite woman needs their help; that she can’t take care of herself. They’re wrong. I can do whatever I need to do to keep myself safe and fed. I know how the world works out here. I spend more time on this side of the fence than on the other side. I know what I’m doing. But the nerve of him! He got me in this mess and now he wants to be all buddy. Yeah, well that’s not going to happen. For him to assume that it’s just because I’m used to be alone doesn’t have anything to do with it. People out here enjoy killing, like me. Does that mean I’m one of the monsters?

  This time they let me lead and set the pace with no comments or whining.

  I’m not sure how much time had passed but the sun was beginning to sink down near the horizon when Dean touched me on the shoulder. I whirled around. “What?” I lowered my arm that was holding my knife when I realized it was him.

  He scowled down at me. “You know you’re just full of crap.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “This big and bad attitude you have. You’re like a Chihuahua who thinks he’s a German shepherd.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I glared at him, tightening my fists, while breathing heavily through my nose.

  Dean plunged on either ignoring the look I was giving him or he didn’t realize this was my pissed off face. “So, see you think you’re tough but when push comes to shove your just a big ol’ pansy. A little five-pound dog that can get kicked around on the playground but you play tough to scare them all away. Well you see little girl-“ at this point he invaded my personal space and stepped close enough that we could have kissed. “- I’m not just another golden retriever who’s fooled by your growling, I’m a big old’ Rottweiler. I’m not afraid to take you down a notch or two. Now it’s getting dark and you yourself said how dangerous it is to be out here after the sun goes down. There’s plenty of houses ‘round here. I say let’s turn into one of them.”

  I smiled, it was full of anger and promise. “Is that what you think? That I’m just a helpless girl who just acts like I can take care of myself.” I asked, my voice low and quiet. “Well, then when the time comes, we’ll see who survives.” I turned on my heel and sauntered away.

  Is that how people really thought of me? Just some little girl pretending to be big and bad? When they all just picture me in little dresses holding a tea cup? Is that really what they think? The anger came boiling right back up burning the back of my throat. At that point I swear my vision went red. He’s never seen me in action. Of course, he thinks I’m weak, that’ll be his downfall. My people skills are not the greatest but I’m going to show him. There was a car to my right. I coiled up my fist and slammed my fist into the side of the car. Pain shot through my hand and up my arm. I pulled back my arm and hit it again. And again.

  My knuckles were throbbing. The pain was helping to push away the scarlet that was sitting over my eyes. I dropped my hand back down to my side. Where I had hit the car there was a dent. It was deep enough that the window frame was bent.

  I didn’t hear footsteps behind me, so I turned to look back. Richard was standing next to Dean, but I didn’t see Brody. Richard glanced my way and started whispering fiercely to Dean. Dean was staring at me the same way one would stare at a rabid dog. It would be so simple. I stood absolutely still, looking over my shoulder while eyeing them. I set my hand on the handle of my pistol. Two rounds and I would never have to hear their voices again. I wouldn’t have to listen to them question me. It would be so easy. I slipped the hook off and started to pull it out of its sheath.

  Brody came up beside to me. “Hey. You ok?”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin. Clumsily I pushed the pistol back in before I dropped my hand from it. “Yeah.” I croaked out. I had to blink to hold back the emotions that were threatening to spill over my face. I closed my eyes. I can’t kill them. I need them. If I come back without them my family will die. My family comes first. “I’m fine. We should uh- uh- go on in. Get off the streets.” I let Brody go ahead of me. Internally I screamed at myself. I almost lost it. I almost shot them because I couldn’t control myself. I wrapped my arms around myself and followed him further up the street. I’ll let Brody choose a place for now. I need to clear my head. I can’t make stupid decisions like that! I slammed my fist into my thigh, making my thigh ache. No more Alice. No more. I let Dean and Richard pass me before following Brody. After a few moments Dean overtook Brody and Brody let him.

  I followed Richard from a distance, who was following Brody and Dean into a small two-story house. They opened the door and darted in guns raised. By the time that I entered the house Dean had already cleared it. The main room that we entered into would have been beautiful if it wasn’t for the decaying wood and mold everywhere. The walls still held on to some of their color, but in the corners mold grew wild. I ran a finger down the wall leaving a trail through the dirt and dust. It was a beautiful royal purple. The rest of the furniture was a grey/silver color or at least it’s a grey now. I dug a nail and dragged it down the upholstery. The fabric under all the grime was silver. The grey/green was mold. Lovely. The wooden floor was gouged all to hell. Definitely not salvageable, I thought with a smirk. I glanced in the kitchen. There was a leak in the corner of the ceiling. That corner especially was black with mold and sagged down towards the floor. If anyone was smart, they wouldn’t walk anywhere near that corner of the house, not unless they wanted the quick way down. It looked like the whole ceiling was ready to fall in on itself. The rest of the kitchen all the way to the floor was discolored and covered in mold from the years of water that came pouring down through that ceiling. It really didn’t take much water to ruin anything as long as it had the time to do it. Cobwebs were everywhere. They were either that or spider webs. It didn’t really matter, although I don’t know how much spiders would catch in here. With how bad the damage was down here I’d hate to see what the rest of it looked like upstairs. The whole house smelled the same as everything else. Full of rot and dead things. It was the same smell that you got everywhere else.

  Brody shut the front door behind us and I pushed the couch in front of the door. Infected may not like to use the doors but just in case someone did come a knocking they couldn’t just waltz in. They’d have to go through a window and that would make enough noise to alert even the deepest sleeper.

  Richard came from upstairs. “Here.” He tossed us some jerky.

  Brody caught his while I let mine fall to the floor. Richard gave me a death glare before climbing the stairs again. I really didn’t like him. Brody looked closely at me. He then gently bent over and picked up the jerky. He held it out to me, holding it loosely in his hand as if he was ready for me to snatch it away from him. I grabbed it gently from him and walked away from the door and windows. The shades were already drawn so I didn’t have to worry about being seen from the outside.

  I curled up on a recliner that looked like it didn’t have too much mold on it. I stared at the piece of jerky in my hand but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat it. It wasn’t the fact that it was from Richard, it was my stomach. It felt like it was in knots. Being so riled up wasn’t helping. The last few yards to the house I genuinely felt like we, or I should say I was being stared at. I thought for sure I would have left that feeling behind in the city but it was still following me. Even Dean noticed it. So, it’s not just me being overly paranoid. I think I would rather be overly paranoid. I watched Brody devour his food. I don’t think he noticed it. Either that or
he’s not saying.

  I think he’s somewhere in his 30’s. He has three kids and a somewhat steady girl or at least that’s the story he’s told me. But for some reason I could never fully believe him. He never went into details about his family, just generalized stories. You know, my kid so and so is saying ‘dada’ and ‘mama’. My other kid is drawing on the walls. No, names. Nothing. Very generalized. I guess that’s the kind of person he is though. Even his looks are generalized. He’s not handsome but he’s not ugly either. He’s thin, average height with brown hair that reaches his shoulders. The only thing that makes him stand out is his clothes. He likes to wear clothes that hang on him, they look like excess skin.

  Brody sat down on the edge of the fire place that was next to me. He finished eating his jerky and he pulled the wrapper apart to lick it clean. I stared at him, almost in disgust. He had just eaten this afternoon when I ate my apples. I tossed mine into his lap. He looked down at it startled then back to me. “I ain’t hungry. You eat it”

  “You need to eat though.” He murmured even as he held it up and began to tear it open.

  “I’m not licking the package. I’ve had more to eat in the past two days than you have apparently.” I snapped.

  “Sorry I’m not as good at getting food like you. If I was do you really think I would have done this to you?” His voice had taken on a whiny sound.

  I looked down at him a glare setting itself on my face. “So that’s why you did it? For food.”

  He looked down at the wrapper that he was twirling in his hand, in a soft voice he whispered. “Yes.”

  I snorted. “Well then. How much did you get? Hmm? How much food was I worth?”

  “I- I have a family I need to feed. I have to come home every night and look at their starving faces. I give them almost everything I have. I don’t know the last time I had enough food to fill my stomach.”

  I sighed, I was tired. Even my temper was tired. I didn’t even want to snap at him. “You know you could have come to me for help. Instead of turning me in. I would have helped you. I would have given you food. Hell, I would have taken you out with me and helped you get some if you couldn’t accept handouts.” I closed my eyes and it hit like a ton of bricks. I was extremely tired. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was going on for over twenty-four hours straight. I didn’t have the energy anymore, I didn’t want to deal with anything else until I got some sleep.