Dead Paper Birds

by McKinney, Megan

“I- uh…” My brain wasn’t functioning correctly. I just wanted to go to sleep. Was that too much to ask? I shivered violently as the wind picked up. I couldn’t feel my body anymore. I was so cold and numb, not just physically. It took me what felt like forever before I could think of an answer. “They tried to hunt me down like an animal. But… but that wasn’t the worst part.” I dropped my head onto my chest.

  Dean put a hand under my chin and pulled my face back up to look at him. Dean nodded for me to go on. He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. He was so warm. I could feel him radiating heat. I wanted to curl up in his arms, never mind that he was covered in blood.

  “The worst part is I knew the guy who was ordering this whole scheme.” My voice broke off.

  Dean raised his eyebrows. “How?”

  I took a deep breath. “He said that my father begged for him not to kill him, and he did anyways. So, I killed him back.” There I said it. But I still didn’t feel anything about what I had done.

  Dean moved his hand to the side of my face and held it up. Dean looked me in the eyes, his face revealing nothing. He pulled me into a hug and held me tight. Where I started to cry into his shoulder. I cried for everything that had happened in the last 24 hours and for losing my dad and being taken away from my family. I cried. He just held me and didn’t say anything. I don’t know how long we stood there but he held me and didn’t complain. I finally pulled away. But he held me at arm’s length and looked me straight in the eye. I thought he was going to say something instead he pulled me in and kissed me. At first, I was so shocked I let him do it and then when the shock wore off, I kissed him back. He pulled away first and held both hands on both sides of my face.

  “Everything is alright. I won’t let them hurt you again.” He murmured.

  I let him slide his hand down my arm until he found my hand. I clasped his hand tight in mine and refused to let go.

  Chapter nineteen… This is kinda nice

  All around us the wind howled while it barreled into everything in its path including us. I was tired from brushing my hair out of my face so I let it fly around me. The wind twisted and pulled on the branches on the trees making them sway back and forth. Only the bravest birds were out this morning. Their singing could barely be heard over the wind, it buffeted them while they flew forcing them to change course unexpectedly. While I stumbled along bushes grabbed and pulled at my legs with every step that I took. To my left the sun was finally beginning its upwards arc into the sky. As the light gradually grew, ironically the slower and colder I felt. My body was so cold that I was numb, entirely numb. My feet felt like pieces of wood that I was dragging with me. I couldn’t lift my legs more than a few inches. The muscles ached all along my legs and back. It was all that I could feel other than the wind. In the light I was able to see my breath puff out in a white mist in front of me before being blown away and fading. When the going was easy, I shoved my hands into my armpits, but like most of this trip it wasn’t so cut and dry. Just one of the barriers that we’d faced overnight was a stream that cut right across where we needed to go. We were forced to climb down steep walls of dirt only to have to climb back up on the other side a few miles down while soaking wet.

  In front of me Dean waved his way through the trees and undergrowth. He was like the only light in a dark room. I followed him blindly. When I stumbled over a rock or bush, he’d be there to catch me. Whenever he’d turn to check in on me, I could see the dark shadows deepening under his eyes. He was just as exhausted as I was. Almost like a slap to the face, I realized it wasn’t that long ago that he needed the blood transfusion. He needed rest more than I did. There was just no way he was fully recovered from that excursion. I tried to dig deep for any burst of energy, even if it was just a spark. I tried digging for it. But I had no resources left. There was just nothing for me to rely on, I was completely drained dry. All I could do was keep putting one foot ahead of the other. I was so exhausted that my brain felt as if it was stuffed full of cotton. Nothing was connecting. I couldn’t formulate a complete thought without specific words being repeated over and over, not even able to connect the dots.

  I stepped out of the trees, nearly falling on my face when my feet hit the pavement. I’d been so adjusted to walking on soft uneven ground that the flat, hard ground completely threw me off my balance. Blinking stupidly, I stood on the edge of the road while trying to shield my eyes from the light. The light that seemed so much brighter out here.

  I twisted around slowly trying to figure out where we were. Were we in the right place? We walked all night, we should be at least close to being where we should be. Dean was slowly walking away from me to the left. He looked like he was trying to see around the curve in the road. I tried to stifle a yawn but to no avail. After a moment he stopped before walking back to me. He stopped right in front of me to put both of his hands on my shoulders. “We should be in the right place. But I’m going to walk that way to double check. I’m pretty certain we’re in the right spot. You just- you just stay here. Kay?” Under his eyes were dark blue circles. The only indication that he spent last night doing anything other than sleeping.

  I nodded dumbly. I didn’t have the energy to argue.

  He dropped his hands from my shoulders, rested one hand on the side of my face briefly before disappearing around the corner. Once he disappeared, I had nothing to track so my head dropped. I let my head hang even if it meant staring at the ground. I wrapped my arms tight around me. I shivered violently. I didn’t even think to grab the coat off of anyone. I should’ve. Despite everything I was straining my ears, listening for Dean to come back and if anyone or anything was nearby. Besides my breathing, I could only hear the wind and the few brave birds. Above me a flock of geese flew by. They were honking and calling out to each other. No regard for what was going on below them. Strangely enough this flock was the first that I’d noticed this year. Last year I didn’t notice much more than this either. They’re suffering just like the rest of us. My thoughts trailed off. Slowly unable to stop them, my eyes closed.

  At the first sound of footsteps I jerked my head up, kinking my neck. Even with the surge of adrenaline that was pathetically small, I stayed rooted to the spot. Dean came around the corner with a frown planted on his face. He stopped a few steps away, “We’re in the right place. The sign next to the entrance clearly says its Mill’s campground. They’re probably deeper in. Sooner we find them the sooner we sleep.” He started walking away but stopped when he realized I didn’t move from my spot. “Alice, c’mon.”

  I sighed before shuffling over to him. Dean waited for me to be even with him before matching my pace. I dragged my feet through the layers of leaves, purposely disturbing them. Most of the camping spots that we passed were overtaken with blackberry bushes. They’d grown taller than me in most areas. Even though they were massive they were dense. Vine had grown over, under and all around each other making a massive knot of thorns and berries. In places they’d even covered most of the road. But clearly on the shoulder of the road were fresh tire tracks in the grass. Dean and I shared a look before cautiously following the tracks. They took us directly through the campground instead of the meandering path that the road was taking us on. I turned around another mound of blackberries.

  Coke was standing stiff legged on the edge of a clearing. “Coke!” I cried out stretching my arms towards him while he bounded towards me. He jumped up planting his paws on my chest. Frantically reaching upwards he licked every inch of me he could touch. He was whining softly and his tail was wagging crazily. I dropped to my knees wrapping my arms around him and buried my hands in his fur. Down near his skin he was blessedly warm, nearly hot on my frozen hands.

  Rum came sprinting out from underneath Rick’s blazer, which was parked on the other side of the clearing. He rammed into us and joined the frenzy. I hugged both of the wiggling dogs, trying to give them the attention that they both wanted. I was so focused on them that I didn’t notice Dean move from beside me.<
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  “I’m so glad to see you two. I didn’t think I’d see either one of you again.” Richard said, laughing.

  I looked up in time to see them separate from a hug. Dean shook his head wearily, “To be honest I didn’t think so either.”

  Clumsily I struggled to my feet. Richard pulled me into a tight hug. Just as quickly let me go again. “I’m glad to see you alive.”

  I nodded. “Same here.”

  Richard looked from me to Dean, our mud-covered clothes and in mostly my case blood too. We were both exhausted, ready to fall where we were standing. “You guys clean up and I’ll get you something hot.” He hurried back to the blazer.

  Wearily we both made it to the blazer. Nudity wasn’t high on my priority list to worry about so as casually as I could muster, I pulled my shirt over my head, gasping as the movement ripped open wounds. I pressed myself into the back of the seat biting down on my lip while the pain ripped through.

  “Oh my god…” I looked up at Richard standing in the doorframe next to me. His face was pale and horrified. “Here.” He shoved a cup of steaming liquid into my hands. “Just chicken broth. Drink it then I’ll help you get cleaned up.”

  He disappeared. I lifted the hot liquid to my mouth. It burned but I was so cold that I didn’t care. The heat that was dissipating from off the outside of the cup burned my skin. It warmed me up from the inside, radiating outward. Richard was waiting for me to finish. I drained the cup and set it down on the seat next to me. “Dean is just as bad off as I am- “

  “No, he’s not. Shut up.”

  The alcohol burned. It burned like fire. I had to stuff my fist into my mouth to keep from screaming. Richard carefully and professionally cleaned each of my wounds. He bandaged them up while trying to use as little supplies as possible. When he finished, I changed into cleanish clothes, wrapped myself in a blanket and passed out in the back seat taking up all of it.

  “Alice?”

  “Daddy?” I rubbed my eyes blearily, “Daddy, where are you?”

  “I’m over here sweetheart, just follow my voice.”

  I was surrounded by darkness. There was no smell, no other sounds. Just me in the dark. I rotated on the spot, irrationally afraid of what could be behind me. There was a white door. The top of my head only came up to the door handle. What kind of door is this? I approached it and pushed it open. Blinding white light spilled from behind of it. The darkness was chased away but I was blind now. I held a hand over my eyes, “Daddy? Daddy!”

  “There you are sweetheart. Come here.” Strong hands picked me up off of the floor and swung me around in a circle. The rapid spinning made my tummy roll but he liked it when I laughed instead of complaining. He roared with laughter before sitting down in his chair and pulling me on his lap. I pressed my face into his chest until the dizziness stopped.

  I looked up at him but he looked wrong. He looked younger, not like how I remembered him. There wasn’t any grey in his hair, no lines on his face, and even his smile was different. The scar that made his smile lopsided was missing. Tentatively I reached a small hand up to touch his face. He laughed as my fingers traced his smile. “Is something the matter little one?”

  Yes, there were lots of things wrong. Including this. I didn’t voice it, I just shook my head instead. With his free hand he rubbed circles on my back. “Alice, I love you so much. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you. Always, always remember that. And when I say I love you, that also means that I want the absolute best for you.”

  Solemnly I nodded.

  He cleared his throat. “I have something that I need to give you. It’s going to hurt but it’ll keep you safe.” He squeezed me tightly. “It’ll keep you safe long after I can’t anymore.” His voice cracked and crackled.

  I pulled back from the hug. “I love you too daddy.” I kissed the tip of his nose.

  He smiled and brushed the hair back from my face. He stood up, taking me with him before setting me down in his chair. My tiny legs stuck straight out in front of me. I turned my attention to him. He was digging around in his desk, specifically the top drawer. The one that I’m not allowed to touch, at all. He pulled out a hard-sided blue case. It was big enough for my lunch box to fit into. He set it down gently and undid the clasps that held it shut. He rummaged inside before pulling out a syringe full of clear liquid.

  I shrunk back against the chair. “No daddy! No! I don’t like shots. They hurt!” Easy tears ran down my cheeks. He knelt down in front of me. He reached out and clasped one of my tiny hands in his. “This is for your safety. If it wasn’t good for you then I wouldn’t do it. Now be my brave girl. This is the last one, I promise you. And do I break my promises?”

  I shook my head sniffing. Then reluctantly I held out my arm. He smiled at me, then pulled a small cloth from a package to wipe my arm with it. It left my arm wet and cold. “Why does it stink daddy?”

  “Because its alcohol. And I’m using it to kill the germs that might be on your skin.”

  “Oh.”

  He dropped the cloth and picked up the syringe. He popped the lid off and pushed on the plunger until a small drop of liquid came out. One hand held my arm while the other pushed the needle against my skin. I gasped when the needle was pushed into my skin. The sharp pain faded quickly. As the cold fluid was pushed in it filled my arm, making it ache and cold. I felt the needle leave and a moment later daddy was wrapping his arms around me and picking me up to hold me close. Within moments it started to burn. Then it progressed to feeling as if fire was running through every inch of me. He pressed me into his chest when the pain was too much and I started screaming. Each individual vein felt like pure agonizing fire was replacing my blood, even inside of my organs. There wasn’t a piece of me that wasn’t in agony.

  After a while, how long I really don’t know it abated. Slowly and bit by bit the fire died. My screams were replaced with crying. As the last of the pain drained away, I pulled myself out of his chest. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand before looking up. It was Vince sneering down at me. I screamed and screamed.

  The dream shattered and I sat up gasping like I’d sprinted across several miles. Dull sunlight was shining in through the rain streaked windows, drastically different than the artificial light that was in my dream. I looked around me uneasily but there was nothing for me to see. Coke shifted next to me, he was curled up against my legs, pinned in-between myself and the seat. I rubbed his ears before slipping back to sleep.

  When I woke up for the second time, the difference was this sleep was dreamless. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before pushing Coke off of me so that I could sit up. I rotated my head, trying to work some of the kinks out of my stiff neck. In the front seat Dean and Richard were talking, they didn’t realize that I was awake yet so they were talking softly together.

  “... we picked the dogs up from where we left them you know. Then we came here.” Richard said softly.

  “How was Rick able to find you if you stayed back the whole time?” Dean grumbled.

  Richard sighed before answering, “Id stayed near the main road. I didn’t venture too far in. I just, I’m not. I uh…” he trailed off.

  Dean slapped the dashboard, “So what you’re saying is that you stayed at the most likely point of exit where you could get picked up safe and sound. While the rest of us risked our lives to get our lifeline back. The lifeline that we all benefit from?”

  “I don’t expect you guys to not be angry, if you weren’t, I wouldn’t know what to say. I came on this mission to look for a cure. I’m not a fighter. Never have been. I was told, with direct orders to preserve my life above all else my safety is number one. Number two, to procure the cure at any cost.” He hissed. “I’M following MY orders.”

  They both lapsed into silence. Silence that I broke, “Where’s Rick?”

  Both men jumped. Richard turned slightly in his seat. “He went back to look for you two.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. Nononononono. “Whe
n was he supposed to be back?”

  “hmm, he said to not to start looking for him till this evening.” Richard replied.

  This time it was Dean who broke the silence that had settled around us. “That’s fine by me. More sleep this way.”

  I snorted. He wasn’t wrong. It was warm and dry here in the car. And to make it even better, I wasn’t in immediate danger. I settled back into my seat, pulling the blanket up around my neck. Coke nuzzled his nose out of the blanket before looking at me upside down.

  The day passed in relative peace and quiet. I spent most of my day sleeping, passing from one dream to the next. Some of which were of home and my family, the others could only be described as nightmares. Those usually starred my dad and/or Vince in some form or another. Those mostly consisted of Vince killing dad over and over again. Romero even starred in a few of them. Those ones were the worst. The off and on sleeping would have most likely continued if the dead didn’t arrive. The small group consisted of five rotting corpses. We watched them shamble down the road behind us. I kept the two dogs occupied, they were good about not barking but I didn’t want to chance it. It was only five of them but it wasn’t necessary to antagonize them. Besides the rain had picked up again, this time the wind was making an appearance. Even as the last of the undead disappeared, anxiety gnawed at my conscious. It was early evening but the sun was already on disappearing behind the trees. What if Rick had been caught? Did he have any backup plans for that?

  The other two were sleeping in the front seat. Around me the dogs shifted uneasily, with the occasional whine. “I know guys, you miss Rick. He’ll be back soon.” I brushed them both. In a few minutes I’ll just let them out. Maybe if they just stretch their knees then they’ll calm down. Almost as if they read my mind, they crowded the door. I gave in with a huff and they pushed and shoved till they were free. I stepped out after them. Something caught Rum’s attention, within a moment it had Coke’s as well. After a moment I heard it, it sounded like Rick’s whistle. Both dogs took off in the direction I heard it from. I felt like I’d been frozen to the spot. What if it wasn’t Rick, what if it was Vince? Or what if Vince was holding Rick hostage forcing him to call his dogs? I wrapped my hand around my bow, pulling it up and knocking it. Just in case. I didn’t call the dogs back just in case. I let them run to the opposite side of the clearing to a figure that was stepping out of the trees.